fallout 4 housemate headcanons
NO ONE ASKED BUT HERE IT IS (main game companions only)
âItâs Friday night, weâre going OUT, no bullshit excuses.â Loud music always blaring from her room when sheâs home, if you ask her to turn it down, you somehow end up getting dragged into an impromptu dance party. Shots. No sense of personal space, bursts into your room unannounced because she wants to talk to you, doesnât care if youâre naked. Blunt, thinks everyone you have ever dated isnât good enough for you, offers to fight anyone who has caused you a minor personal offence. You always end up sleeping in each otherâs beds when you get drunk together. Messy af, complains loudly about the cleaning rota. Â
Obsessively clean. Cleans up after everyone else (or redoes their cleaning because he thinks they havenât done it properly), but gets passive-aggressive about it later. Always busy, never seems to sit still, hums and whistles as heâs bustling about. Likes organizing things, likes gardening. Worry wart. Makes you promise to text if youâre going to be home later than usual. Loves old movies, especially sci-fi classics, can quote them line for line, most of his bedroom space is dedicated to his home cinema set up. Big fan of tea, owns like 800 different varieties, and also of tea, has all the gossip on your other housemates.
House mom. Very neat, particularly concerned with bathroom cleanliness. Early riser and always looks immaculately put together, even at ass oâclock in the morning. Worries about your diet and how much sleep youâre getting. âMon cher, potato chips are not an adequate substitute for dinner.â Has some kind of terrifying and important science job, no one understands exactly what she does, but she gets so excited when she talks about it that no one has the heart to interrupt her. Has never been late for anything, ever, in her entire life, is horrified by people who leave things until the last minute. Likes to take very long baths, disturb her at your own peril.
Boy scout af. Eats the exact same oatmeal from the exact same bowl at 7am on the dot every morning (8am on weekends). Makes his bed every day, takes exactly 9.5 minutes in the shower. âThis level of noise on a weeknight is disrespectful, some of us have work in the morning.â In charge of the cleaning rota. Has âoptimizedâ the cleaning rota. Drags you out of bed at 6am to go running, encourages you even when you snap at him. Easily flustered, awkward at parties. Brought home a stranger for sexy times once, a year ago, and everyone still teases him about it. Will make you a hot drink and listen very seriously while you talk about your problems.
Cryptid roommate. You never know if heâs home or not, you have no idea what his job is, he has nothing even remotely resembling a schedule. Pays his rent in cash, no one has ever seen inside his bedroom, it could lead to another dimension for all you know. Occasionally you walk in on him cooking a three course meal at 4am or drinking strong black coffee in his underwear in the middle of the afternoon. You always have the best chats when you bump into him, but then he disappears and who the hell knows when youâll see him again. He recommends books to you, and then they turn up on your bed a few weeks later, sometimes with a little note written in code.
A perfect boy, almost certainly the best boy in the whole world. Protective, loyal, affectionate, only pooped in a shoe once.Â
Always has random groups of friends over. Always the last one awake when you throw a party. LOUD sex. Sustained LOUD sex. Has never been seen out of bed before noon. No one knows how he makes money except, you know, you all kind of know. Has the best stories. Total cuddlebug, loves human contact, will massage your shoulders or lie in your lap or play with your hair while he talks to you. Stylish af, youâre always trying to borrow his clothes. Usually messy, but occasionally goes on frenzied cleaning sprees and gets the whole house spotless in six hours. Canât cook, but will sometimes spontaneously order takeout for the whole house, his treat.
Voice of reason and maturity. Holds himself a little apart from everyone else. (Probably has the largest room in the place with an ensuite, or even a floor to himself). Deals with all the landlord stuff because he is the most convincing adult in the house. Very formal text and email style, always starts his messages with âHi everyoneâ and signs off as âValâ in the housemate group chat, every damn time. Great with technology, will sigh and roll his eyes if you want to him to take a look at your computer, but secretly loves being asked. Has a liquor cabinet in his room, makes a mean old-fashioned. Gives fantastic life advice, best housemate to go to when youâre upset. Sass him at your peril.
Little brother. Messy boy. Anxious boy. His room is an absolute pig sty, except for his comic collection, which is pristine. Useless in the mornings, no point trying to have a conversation with him before 10am. Insomnia. Hates his stupid job. Always quibbling over household bills, doesnât want to put the heat on, wears seven layers of clothes instead. Does his best to clean up after himself in communal spaces, but it doesnât come naturally. Can only cook three things, but cooks them really well. Always down to share a few beers and kick your ass at videogames, just give him a second to get all the dirty laundry off the floor.
Big sister. Freelancer, always home until sheâs not. Her room isnât dirty, per se, but it is ridiculously cluttered, stuffed with books and notepads. When sheâs on a deadline, itâs a bomb site. Also, sheâs always on a deadline. Lots and lots of coffee, queen of all-nighters. Talks to herself. Will seek you out to run her latest conspiracy theories by you. Gets you embroiled in impassioned political discussions that go on until 2am. Values your opinion even if she doesnât always agree. Subsists on instant noodles and pop tarts. Very concerned with fairness in the household, invested in the general principle of the cleaning rota even if she forgets her turn half the time.Â
House dad. Excellent mediator, wants everyone to be okay. Manages the bills and calls tradespeople when things break down. Total sweetheart but not here to take your shit, especially when it comes to making sure that everyoneâs pitching in (but will still insist on helping if he happens to be around while youâre doing chores). Organizes family dinners and games nights, really invested in making the place feel like a home. Knocks on your door when youâre working to see if you want tea or hot chocolate. Remembers everyoneâs birthday. Absolute riot when heâs drunk. His room is small and cosy and heâs quite private about it, only invites people to hang out with him there if he really trusts them. Â
Seems to subsist entirely on protein shakes, poor personal hygiene, lord help you if you share a bathroom with him. Gym rat, lives in the gym, all his clothes seem to be sweatpants, does not appear to own shirts. Speaks in monosyllables, very gruff, doesnât understand the cleaning rota and no one wants to explain it to him. Breaks things a lot. Connoisseur of violent videogames. His shelf in the fridge is entirely filled with unidentified meat objects, which you assume are components of the protein shakes, but youâre too afraid to ask. Once he quoted Shakespeare at you and you almost fell out the window in shock.
No one has ever seen him enter or exit the house. Has a real adult job that involves a suit. Cycles to work, has a top-of-the-range racing bike and all the professional hi-vis gear. Seems scarily competent and also sort of rich, youâre not sure why he lives here. Appears to have an active social life, but no one has ever met his friends. Unfailingly courteous and considerate, but when he gets on the group chat to politely point out the abysmal state of the kitchen, you can be damn sure no one is ever going to forget to wipe down the counters for a month at least. All the other housemates have a betting pool running on how many people he has killed with his bare hands.
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