[jxmis]

Do not republish my work elsewhere, please! You do NOT have permission to repost, copy or translate my works on any platforms even if credit was given!!

mainly write for: blackpink, aespa, twice,

i write whenever i feel like it :)

usually get inspo from songs 🤭

don’t be shy to talk to me i don’t bite!! ;)

please be nice or else you’ll be blocked!!!

♡˗ˏˋ{J ◦ infp ◦ ‘05 ◦ she/her ◦ pisces}ˊˎ˗♡°.*↴

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[jxmis]

i need a yoo jaeyi in my life 😫

[jxmis]

starting friendly rivalry… let’s see how this goes

[jxmis]

Lose You To Love Me

Pairings: Yu Jimin / Karina x Reader

Summary: Everything changed between Y/N and Jimin after Milan Fashion Week. Months later, Y/N, now in New York, releases their first song, an emotional track that reveals their heartbreak, making Jimin realize her mistake too late.

Warning(s): heavy angst, toxic behavior, male being is mentioned

A/N: sorry in advance 😭 I also still suck at summarizing 😅 header photo is not my best work… did it during work cuz i was bored 😆 and look at me not disappearing again after i post a fic 🤭

Inspired by Lose You To Love Me by Selena Gomez ❤️‍🩹

The night air in New York carried a sharp chill, but Y/N barely noticed. Their fingers hovered over the play button on their phone, hesitating. The song was finished. Every lyric bled from the pain Jimin had left behind.

The world had already moved on.

Aespa’s Karina and Actor Lee Jae-Wook reportedly engaged?

The headline was everywhere. But Y/N wasn’t sure if they’d ever actually move on.

Not when they could still remember how it all fell apart.

5 MONTHS AGO

“This is a big opportunity, baby.” Jimin’s voice crackled through the speaker, excitement laced in every word. “Milan Fashion Week. I’ll be sitting front row next to designers, actors—people who could open doors for me.”

Y/N smiled, despite the uneasy feeling curling in their gut. “I’m happy for you, babe. I just…” They hesitated. “I wish I could come with you.”

“I wish you could too.” A beat of silence. “We’ll celebrate when I’m back, okay?”

“Okay.”

Jimin left the next morning.

And when she returned, something between them had changed.

At first, it was subtle. The late-night texts that used to be filled with love were now short and mechanical. The phone calls grew shorter, her voice distant.

“You’ve been quiet lately,” Y/N said one evening as they sat across from each other in Jimin’s room.

Jimin barely looked up from her phone. “Just busy.”

“It’s not just that.” Y/N swallowed hard. “Did something happen in Milan?”

Jimin tensed, but her answer was smooth. “Nothing happened. You’re overthinking.”

But Y/N could see the cracks forming. The way Jimin’s mind was elsewhere. How she flinched when Y/N reached for her hand.

➽───────

A few days later, the final blow came.

“I don’t think this is working anymore.” Jimin’s voice was quiet, but her words rang louder than anything Y/N had ever heard.

Y/N blinked. “What?”

Jimin exhaled, rubbing her temples. “I don’t know how to explain it, but I just… I don’t feel the same way anymore.”

“Since when?” Y/N’s voice cracked. “Since Milan?”

Jimin hesitated. That was all the confirmation Y/N needed.

“I thought we were okay,” Y/N whispered. “I thought we were forever.”

Jimin looked away. “I’m sorry.”

And just like that, everything they had built crumbled.

It only took a few days. A blurry photo surfaced—Jimin and Jaewook leaving a restaurant together, his hand resting on her lower back.

Y/N stared at the screen, numb. The articles speculated, fans theorized, but nothing was confirmed.

Not yet.

But two months later, Dispatch made sure the whole world knew. Sharing evidence that couldn’t be mistaken as another one of Dispatch’s fake news. It’s too real to deny.

Aespa’s Karina and Actor Lee Jae-Wook: Korea’s New Power Couple

Y/N felt sick. Seeing all the pictures with dates and timestamps. Anonymous workers giving details of what was supposed to be private date nights between Jimin and Jaewook. All of it were exposed.

Jimin had replaced them. After two months. And this time, there was no coming back.

➽───────

Aeri knocked on Y/N’s apartment door the day after the Dispatch article dropped.

“Checking to see if I’m still breathing?” Y/N joked, stepping aside to let Aeri in.

Aeri sighed, sitting on the couch. “Something like that.”

“Thanks Gi.. I’m good don’t worry.” But Aeri doesn’t buy it. Skipping the common “Are you okay?” or “How are you?” questions with these type of situations. Why would she ask questions she already knew the answer to. Knowing your answers would also be bullshit anyways.

Aeri hesitated before asking, “So… what now? What’s next for you?”

Y/N leaned against the counter, arms crossed. “A label in New York reached out. They want me as a producer.”

Aeri’s eyes widened. “Holy shit! Wait, that means you’re moving?” With this, Aeri looked around Y/N’s apartment. Finally noticing how empty it looks. Boxes filled with Y/N’s belongings in the corner of the living room.

You chuckle but your eyes filled with sadness. “Yeah.. they’ve actually been offering me this opportunity for a while now. I just always declined it because…”

“Of Jimin,” Aeri says finishing Y/N’s sentence.

Y/N nodded. “Yeah. There’s nothing left for me in Korea. Nothing keeping me here.” They exhaled, the weight of their words settling in. “I think it’s time to start over—to finally put myself first. I really thought… we could fix this. That she just needed time and space. But I guess I was wrong. I should’ve known better instead of waiting around like an idiot.”

“Hey, don’t say that,” Aeri cut in. “No one saw this coming. Not even me or the girls. I love Jimin but.. she’s the idiot for not realizing what a huge mistake she’s making by letting you go.”

Y/N let out a bittersweet chuckle, shaking your head in response. You appreciate Aeri’s attempts to cheer you up, even if the pain still lingers.

Aeri studies them for a long moment before nodding. “Then go kill it over there. Make her regret everything.”

Y/N wiped away the tears that had slipped down their cheeks, then mustered up a smirk. “Oh, don’t worry—I will.”

➽───────

PRESENT DAY

Aeri, Ningning, and Minjeong sat silently in the studio as Y/N’s voice poured through the speakers.

I gave my all and they all know it

Then you tore me down and now it’s showing…

Jimin’s betrayal was woven into every note. Y/N had turned their pain into something tangible, something undeniable.

When the song was released, the world listened.

And so did Jimin.

Jimin wasn’t sure what she had expected when she pressed play. But the moment she heard Y/N’s voice, she felt her heart crack.

You promised the world and I fell for it.

I put you first and you adored it.

The lyrics were a knife to the gut.

She had promised Y/N forever. And then she had thrown it all away.

Tears blurred her vision. She had told herself that her feelings for Jaewook were real. That she had made the right choice.

But why did she feel so empty?

I needed to lose you to find me…

The chorus crashed over her like a wave, every lyric cutting deeper than the last.

Y/N had written about them. About her.

Jimin squeezed her eyes shut, but the tears came anyway. The memories hit her like a storm—Y/N’s laughter echoing in their apartment, the way they’d dance in the kitchen at midnight, the way Y/N would whisper Jimin like it was the only name that mattered.

And then, the fights. The distance. The heartbreak.

Jimin sucked in a shaky breath.

She had let Y/N go.

And now, they had let her go too. This was Y/N’s closure. But Jimin couldn’t help but try and fix things.

➽───────

Meanwhile, you’re in your studio in NYC when your phone buzzes. You smile seeing it’s from Aeri.

[GA AERI 🤡]: The song—damn, Y/N. It was raw. More importantly… the biggest plot twist of the century! I can’t believe you’ve been hiding this voice of yours all these years?! Who knew the Y/N Y/L/N could sing?!?!

Y/N laughs, feeling a mix of pride and amusement.

[Y/N/N]: Thank you, thank you… means a lot coming from Aespa’s Giselle 😆!! I guess I just needed the right motivation to finally show this side of me. But now I get why you get so emotional, that look on your face like you’re on cloud nine whenever you talk about writing your own music.

[GA AERI 🤡]: So what I’m hearing is that I inspired you to make your own music? 😏 You’re so welcome! 😉 I expect to be credited!!!

You roll your eyes, but can’t contain the small chuckle that escapes your lips.

[Y/N/N]: Shut up 😒 It feels nice, actually singing the music rather than just being behind the scenes, you know what I mean? There’s something freeing about it. It’s like finally owning my story, not just creating it for someone else.

[GA AERI 🤡]: In all seriousness… Ning, Mindoongie and I are so proud and happy for you. 🥹 Is it too soon to ask for a visit from the Y/N Y/L/N? We miss you…

[Y/N/N]: I miss you guys too. I’ll see.

[Y/N/N]: No promises tho.

[GA AERI 🤡]: I see, too big for us now huh big shots 🙄

You laugh, shaking your head at Aeri’s antics. You can’t help but miss the japanese girl and the other two clowns.

➽───────

Weeks passed after the song dropped, and Jimin finally found the courage to call.

Y/N didn’t pick up.

Not a second later, her phone buzzed—a message from Y/N.

She opened it, heart pounding.

[Y/N/N ❤️]: Goodbye, Karina.

That was it. Short and simple. Y/N’s message loud and clear. No baby. No babe. No love. Not even Jimin.

Never again.

Seeing Karina sent a chill down her spine. Y/N had never, ever called her Karina before. It felt strange, like the distance between them had solidified in that one word, a reminder of everything that had changed. Yet Jimin knows she deserves it.

And now, far too late, she had realized she lost the one person who had truly loved her.

Y/N looked out at the New York skyline, breathing in the fresh air of a new beginning. For the first time in a long while, they felt at peace—no longer defined by Yu Jimin or their past. It was their own story now.

This was only the start.

⚝──⭒─⭑─⭒──⚝ ⚝──⭒─⭑─⭒──⚝ ⚝──⭒─⭑─⭒──

The end.

[jxmis]

You're Losing Me

Parings: Rosé Park x Reader

Summary: Y/N struggles with Rosé’s growing distance as fame consumes her. As their relationship slowly fades, someone unexpected is always there, offering comfort and understanding.

Warning(s): angst, bit of fluff, slight swearing, toxic behavior

A/N: Heyyyy.. kinda back.. kinda not lol. The pinks have been feeding us a lot recently. Been obsessed with them soooo here's this. I was driving this early morning and this song (You're Losing Me by Taylor Swift) came up after not listening to it for a longgg time and I immediately thought of rosé idk why. since i have a lot of free time rn.. decided to make a lil something. Plus i’ve had this lil graphic design made for monthsss now and i just wanna use it already 😭

The dim glow of Seoul’s skyline flickered beyond the glass windows of Y/N’s studio, the city alive with a pulse that she no longer felt. A year ago, nights like these were filled with laughter, tangled limbs, and whispered dreams. Now, the only sound was the steady hum of the speakers, a beat playing on loop—one she couldn’t bring herself to finish.

Rosé was overseas again. Paris, maybe. Or New York. The details had blurred together, lost in a schedule that no longer included her.

Their relationship had been an open secret among close friends. Between their packed schedules, stolen weekends in hidden corners of Seoul, and phone calls with whispered confessions in-between rehearsals, they had built something real. Something unshakable.

Or so Y/N thought.

Before everything started slipping, they had shared some of their happiest moments together.

"Yah, stop running away!" Rosé whined as Y/N dodged her attempt to smear cake frosting on their face. They had been celebrating Y/N’s first solo win at a hidden café in Hongdae, far from prying eyes. Jennie, Lisa, and Jisoo were there, laughing at their antics, while Jimin and Ryujin cheered Rosé on hoping for her to succeed.

"Baby, if you ruin my outfit, I'll make sure to trip you on stage next comeback," Y/N threatened playfully, making the girls cackle in the background.

"Oh, please, like you could ever hurt me," Rosé teased, but there was nothing but love in her eyes.

It was easy then. Love had been easy. So what went wrong?

That was before Rosé’s solo career took off. After finally taking charge of her own solo career path, outside of YG. In which you've been nothing but supportive and are very proud of her. However, you can't help but notice the slight ways your relationship has changed. How it's slowly dying.

Y/N traced absent-minded circles on the notebook in front of her, lyrics smudged by ink-stained fingertips. Their phone buzzed, the name flashing across the screen momentarily igniting something in their chest. My Number One Girl 🌹.

With a sharp inhale, she grabbed the device. "Hey," her voice was quiet, cautious.

"Hey, babe." The sound of music and indistinct chatter filtered through the call, Rosé’s voice distant. "Just landed in LA. I have a shoot tomorrow, but I wanted to check in. You’re good, right?"

Y/N forced a smile, even though Rosé couldn’t see. "Yeah, just working on some music. How’s everything?"

"Crazy, but good. Lisa and Jennie are here too. We were just talking about you!"

That should’ve made her happy. It didn’t. "Oh?"

"Yeah! Lisa was saying how we should all hang out when I’m back. We really need to!" Rosé’s laugh was bright, but Y/N noticed the way it felt... practiced. "Anyway, I have to go soon, but I’ll text you, okay? Love you."

"Love you too." But the line had already gone dead.

Y/N let the phone drop onto the desk, staring at it like it might somehow hold answers. She knew Rosé meant well. She knew Rosé loved her. But love wasn’t supposed to feel this lonely.

"She’s losing you, Y/N," Jimin said bluntly, stirring her iced coffee as they sat in a small café tucked away from the bustle of the city. "And she doesn’t even realize it."

Y/N sighed, slumping against the seat. "I know."

"Then why are you letting it happen?" Jimin’s dark eyes searched her face, concern evident. "You deserve more than just leftovers of someone’s time."

Ryujin nudged Jimin’s arm. "Not everyone can walk away so easily. Y/N and Rosé… they’ve been through a lot."

"But at what cost?" Jimin countered. "A relationship shouldn’t feel like this. Y/N shouldn't be staying in this relationship just because they've been through a lot together. What matters most is the present. And currently she’s being treated like shit."

Y/N ran a hand through her hair, frustration bubbling beneath her ribs. "It’s not that simple."

Jimin leaned forward, voice softer now. "I know it’s not. But you shouldn’t have to beg to be remembered. Shouldn't have to beg for someone's time and effort. A relationship goes both ways. It can't always be you giving and giving while getting the bare minimum.. mostly nothing in return."

----

That night, Y/N stared at the half-finished song on her desk, her chest tight. The words weren’t about passion or longing anymore. They were about absence. About someone slipping through her fingers like grains of sand, no matter how hard she tried to hold on.

Rosé was still hers. But for how much longer?

Days turned to weeks. The distance stretched further, Rosie’s messages growing shorter, the time between them longer. Y/N kept telling herself she was fine. That this was temporary. That Rosé would come back and everything would be as it was.

But when Rosé finally returned to Seoul, nothing felt the same.

They sat in Y/N’s apartment, the city buzzing outside. Rosie looked tired, but radiant. The kind of glow that came from living in the center of the world.

"I missed you," Y/N said softly, reaching out to tuck a stray strand of hair behind Rosé’s ear.

Rosé smiled, but it didn’t quite reach her eyes. "I missed you too."

Lies tasted sweet when spoken softly. Y/N swallowed them whole.

They tried. They really did. But something had shifted, and no amount of whispered promises or late-night apologies could stitch them back together.

And then, one night, Y/N stopped waiting.

Jimin found Y/N on the rooftop of the company building, knees pulled to her chest, a cigarette burning between her fingers.

"You don’t even smoke," Jimin remarked, plucking it away before Y/N could argue.

Y/N exhaled, the cold air biting at her skin. "It’s over."

Jimin sat beside her, silent for a moment. "Did she say that?"

"She didn’t have to. She’s been saying it in every missed call, every canceled plan, every excuse," you respond, your tone filled with nothing but acceptance.

Jimin’s fingers brushed against Y/N’s hand, tentative. "I’m sorry."

Y/N turned to look at her, really look at her. Jimin, who had been there through every breakdown. Jimin, who never forgot to check in. Jimin, who was always waiting in the wings, never asking for more than Y/N was willing to give.

And for the first time in a long time, Y/N felt seen.

The rooftop lights cast a soft glow around them, the city stretching endlessly beyond. Y/N’s heartbeat was steady, a slow rhythm against the chaos of her mind.

She didn’t know what this was. Not yet.

But maybe, just maybe, she was finally ready to find out. However, a soft buzz from her phone pulls her thoughts away.

[ROSÉ]: Just landed back in Korea. I miss you. I’ll see you soon, love.

You stare at the message, fingers hovering over the keyboard. Why is she suddenly messaging you this now? Love… Rosé texting that seems foreign to you now. It feels out of place, like a word from another lifetime.

You keep staring at the message, your mind racing. What once felt like a natural connection now seems like a puzzle you can't quite solve. Time seems to stretch, and what feels like hours pass. You’re lost in your own thoughts, so absorbed that you forget Jimin is sitting right next to you. Her concern grows as she watches you, her eyes flickering between you and the screen, unsure if you're okay.

"Wanna go grab dinner at your favorite hotpot place? It's on me," Jimin asks suddenly. The softness in her tone catches you off guard, snapping you out of your spiral of thoughts. You blink a few times, trying to process everything. The quiet care in her voice stirs something in your chest, making you realize just how much you’ve been blindsided recently. How wrapped up you've been in everything else, only to now notice the concern in Jimin's eyes and the offer to be there for you.

Now, a choice stood before them.

And for the first time, Y/N wasn’t sure if they would choose Rosé.

⚝──⭒─⭑─⭒──⚝ ⚝──⭒─⭑─⭒──⚝ ⚝──⭒─⭑─⭒──

The end.

[helioooss]

midnight rain

synopsis: sana and y/n used to be the top celebrity couple in the entertainment industry. over a decade after a nasty break up, they meet again at a jimmy kimmel show

w/c: 5.2k

warnings: mentions of drug use and overdose, read at your own risk, angst with a happy ending

a/n: first story in ten years, creative brain’s a bit rough these days, haven’t been on tumblr since its golden days. also not proofread. hope ur all well and enjoy this one :)

✧･ﾟ: *✧･ﾟ:*

Your heart was beating out of your chest, each thump pushing you further you into a downward spiral as your clammy palms tapped against your bouncing knee. Leaning against the chair, you refused to make eye contact with anyone — the worried look on your face was enough to push them away, anyway. In a situation like this, it would be strange to not feel anxious.

After all, it had been over ten years since you let the love of your life go and agreeing to see her on live television was a decision that you have been regretting since the day you said yes.

Two minutes, you blew a breath out as you stared up at the monitor in front of you.

"Welcome to the Tonight Show!" Jimmy trailed off with a smile, the audience in front of him clapping as they yelled in excitement. "Thank you for being here, tonight we have two very special guests —"

A staff member tapped your shoulder, pulling you out of your messy thoughts with his apologetic face. "Y/N, it's time."

Uncrossing your legs, you nodded your head with a shy smile. The fact that you could hear your own heartbeat amongst all the noise made you uneasy, so you stood there for a moment longer; wondering what Minatozaki Sana looked like in person.

You haven't been this nervous since the world found out about your relationship with her.

Taking a deep breath, you walked out with your heart in your throat. You bowed your head at Jimmy and waved your hand at the audience members, screaming can be heard from the other end; your name being chanted, their anticipation shining through from seeing you on television again after what seemed like an eternal hiatus.

It would be a lie to say it didn't feel good to relive what was once your life like, but you don't regret disappearing from the spotlight.

You were happier now, away from all the awards and glory, you think.

As if you were in a movie, time suddenly stopped as she emerged from the other side in the black Yves Saint Laurent dress you bought her all those years ago — brown hair flowing freely past her shoulders as she mirrored your gestures towards the crowd. Watching her fondly, you were reminded of the moonlight that illuminated the surface of the endless ocean; truly God's masterpiece in its purest form. You were frozen in your spot as you stared at her with the utmost adoration and respect.

Then, she finally settled on your eyes and suddenly you felt like a kid again.

"Hello stranger," she said with a sly smile, taking the seat next to yours with the crowd going wild at your first interaction. "Hi Jimmy, thank you for having me."

"Yeah, I'm gonna pretend that you didn't acknowledge Y/N first," he teased, making her and everyone else chuckle. "Anyway, wow, you look wonderful. And so do you, Y/N!”

You grinned, nodding as you try to remember the rough script on how the conversations would go in your head. "Thank you for having me back here, Jimmy, I appreciate it."

"It's the both of you this time," he raised his eyebrow suggestively. "Which is amazing, the world hasn't seen you together in twelve years. Am I right?"

"Yes," she looked at you, heaving out a breath as she laughed. "Sorry, it just feels so weird to see you again."

✧･ﾟ: *✧･ﾟ:*

Suddenly, you were pulled back into past; during the last time you ever saw her in the alleyway behind Stanley's; your favourite getaway restaurant during midnights. Every now and then, you remembered it; the pain from losing her always came back like it just happened and you wonder if you've really moved on.

"We can't keep doing this," she said with tears welling in her eyes. "It's so hard, Y/N, and as much as I love you, our relationship is mentally breaking me."

You shook your head in desperation, cupping her cheeks with both of your hands. "That's what they want, you know that, our fans want us to break up. You don't have to do this, baby, I'm sure there's another way. We can talk to both of our managements —"

She sighed, pulling away from you. Both physically and emotionally. "I've spoken to mine and they respect my decision.

You paused, repeating the words in your head to make sure you heard her right. It felt like she just stabbed you in the back as you gawked at her with defeat in your eyes, shoulders slumping while piecing everything together. "The last time you spoke to them about our relationship was over a month ago, and you're only talking to me about this now? Is that how you've been feeling this whole time?"

Her tears rolled down her face, understanding the betrayal you felt. "It's not just the fans, Y/N, it's literally everything. I barely get to talk to you and see you. How can we both work it out when we can't even create time for each other?"

"I'll do anything for you, my love, just say the word and I will cancel everything - you know that! Every project, every interview, every shoot, literally anything —"

"No, I stand by my decision," she said firmly. "Perhaps, when you and I have achieved all our dreams...then we can work it out. This isn't the right time for us —"

"Four fucking years, Sana," you bellowed angrily, fists clenching. There was pain written on her face from hearing you call her by her name. "From the very beginning, we have been there for each other. What the fuck am I supposed to do without you?"

"Let me go — we'll both be happier without each other."

"No," you shook your head, tugging her closer towards you. However, she resisted. "Please, please don't do this. Don't leave me like this. What happened to forever?"

Her tears rolled down her cheek at the sound of your defeated voice. As much as it hurt her, she had to make up a lie on the spot. "I don't love you anymore. I — there's someone else."

Just like that, all of your hopes and dreams for the future shattered. Without her, the life you built meant nothing.

She really wanted you out of her life and there was nothing you could do about it. Shoulders slumping, you looked down - the thunderous roar of the oncoming storm startled her whilst it had no effect on you. "Okay, I see what you're doing. It's going to start raining, you should go."

She doesn't know whether it was the coldness in your voice or the wind, nonetheless, she shivered. "Y/N -"

"Leave, that's what you wanted, right?" you looked up at her, eyebrows furrowing. "I don't understand what I've done to you to justify what you're doing. I know I don't deserve any of this. If you're going to leave, leave now and never come back. And when I say never, I mean it, Minatozaki Sana."

She nodded her head, turning on her heel with a sob. Tiny specks of rain began to pour down on you, the rest of your world going down with it. You watched her walk away from you as if it were the easiest thing - did she ever really love you?

✧･ﾟ: *✧･ﾟ:*

"I can't pinpoint whether that's a good thing or not, but considering I'm your ex, I'd say that's a bad thing," you joked, rolling your eyes playfully.

She laughed once more, shaking her head at you. You swear that sound never failed to put you on a pedestal. "It's just surreal, I haven't seen you in so long. You look younger than I can remember."

"You never reply to any of my messages," you put your hands up at her as Jimmy bursted into another set of laughter. You didn't know where the confidence was coming from, but you were relieved you were feeling something else other than being constantly nervous. "I'm joking, I don't have her number. I'm sure you don't mind giving it to me after the show, right?"

"God, get a room," Jimmy whined, turning you into a blushing mess. "Before you both propose to each other, Sana, let's talk about the dress you're wearing tonight. Somebody may or may have not told me that you're wearing something very special."

"We'll talk about my number after the show," Sana turned to you, winking; making the heat rise on your face. "Yes Jimmy, this dress is probably my favourite one out of everything - I don't wear it very often, obviously, but this beautiful Yves Saint Laurent piece was a gift from Y/N thirteen years ago."

You stared at her in awe, the way she spoke with so much grace never failed to impress you. The years had done her a favour - life always seemed easier on her than it was on you.

She left you behind, after all.

"Look, I'm just glad you kept it because this archival piece cost me a lot back then," you admitted with the biggest grin on your face as you looked at anyone but her. You couldn't place what it was about her that struck you so forcefully, but you simply couldn't take your eyes off her and you somewhat needed to feel in control of your emotions. "It was our first anniversary, I had just gotten a pretty decent check from Little Women and I wanted to give her something special."

"You got a big check in twenty-nineteen and the first thing you thought of was a dress for your girlfriend instead of a Lamborghini to flaunt on Instagram?" Jimmy scoffed as you and Sana giggled at him. "Get out of here!"

✧･ﾟ: *✧･ﾟ:*

Your anniversary was coming up and frankly, you wanted to give her the world. You were panicking inside; with the amount of things you've gotten her, none of them felt special. You hummed as you sat in Chou Tzuyu's kitchen, patiently waiting for her to acknowledge you.

"You know, if you weren't my friend, I'd have you sent out of my house already," she grumbled in a playful way. "Seriously, I'm telling you that she will love that Saint Laurent dress by Tom Ford."

You sighed, shaking your head. "It's our anniversary though, it's special. Do you think giving her a dress and taking her to Hawaii are good enough?"

"Jesus Y/N, that woman looks at you with stars in her eyes — she will love anything you get her. If you ask her to marry you right now, I believe she will say yes in less than a heartbeat."

✧･ﾟ: *✧･ﾟ:*

The show was going very well, you felt relieved as time went by, and you were actually enjoying the things you found out about Sana after you had broken up.

She went on to become a successful solo artist and fashion model after Twice's disbandment, and you couldn't be any prouder. It had always been her dream and you always knew she was made to be a superstar - you prayed for her to achieve it, even if it meant she would be harder to reach.

You were able to open up about your past; the dark hole you fell into after the breakup — all the women, the legal troubles and the projects that failed because of your behaviour; it wasn't easy to talk about, but somehow, the way she intensely listened made all the fear go away. It would be an understatement to say you haven't felt this comfortable in years — just watching her talk about her passions put you in awe.

✧･ﾟ: *✧･ﾟ:*

You were barely conscious in a suite at The Ritz in Paris, an unlit cigarette resting on your mouth as you scrambled to find the lighter in your pocket. The only thing illuminating the room was that stupid lamp on the office table. And you hated it, you really did, because it was the same model she broke the last time you were here with her.

You felt so warm - breathing heaved and beads of sweat forming on your forehead. And you laughed to yourself because it was pathetic, really. You were all alone in the city of love because the love of your life decided she wanted to move on from you.

And suddenly, the door opened with Jongin appearing from behind it.  "Are you fucking kidding me?"

"Kai..." you could barely mutter his name as the world spun around you. "You're here!"

He knelt in front of you, forcing you to sit up. He tapped both of your cheeks worriedly. "Look at me, open your fucking eyes!"

You cupped his face back with a chuckle, everything seemingly softer around the edges. "Eyes open."

"I need you to tell me how much of these pills you had and when," he dangled the two bags in front of you but all you could think of was her face; the way her eyes lit up whenever you told her you loved her and that smile of hers that never failed to put you in a spiral. "Momo, I need you to stop freaking out and call an ambulance right now."

You were lying against Jongin's chest, your vision blacking in and out.

"We're at the Windsor suite at The Ritz, we have called the hotel medic and they're coming," you heard someone frantically say. "Y/N looks really unwell. Please hurry, please!"

There was buzzing all around you, and you smiled to yourself before giving in and closing your eyes. "Happy 27th birthday to me."

✧･ﾟ: *✧･ﾟ:*

"But how are you doing now?" Jimmy asked with a sympathetic look in his face.

"I..." you looked down, fidgeting with the hem of your shirt. "I don't think I know who I am anymore after everything. I regret everything that I've done - all the fame and the money, I don't think it was worth losing myself over the superficial things. Then again, rehab and lots of therapy helped me a lot, you know, I always thought I wouldn't make it past 27...but here I am. All thanks to everyone who held me together."

Everyone began clapping in the audience, your cheeks reddening at all the attention. Despite being a nervous wreck, you managed to let out a small smile. You could feel her eyes on you, yet you refused to look again.

"Would you change what happened in the past?"

Deep down, you were aware of the answer to his question. It'll always be a yes. Everything that you have now wasn't worth more than her.  As ridiculous as it sounded, you would've given it all up for her; without her in your life, it always felt like you achieved it for nothing.

It was supposed to be her and you against the world. As much as it sounded wrong, your love for her will always be greater than your dreams.

"Yes, I would've," you pursed your lips, looking down at your roughed up running sneakers. Compared to her look, yours was too casual. If you were younger, you would've been on the same level as her. You didn't belong to each other now, what else was different about her these days? "For most of you who didn't know, the world hated that her and I were together. Everyone criticised each move we did. We were young...really young, it felt suffocating to hear the same things from the public but god, I loved her so much. To this day, I'm firm on my decision that I would've given up on my dreams for her if it meant I could keep her."

You were truly not over what you had, but with everything that has happened after that, you don't think you could let her in again. Not now.

Not when you were still a mess.

She placed her hand on top of yours, gently squeezing it. "If I knew that letting the world find us would ruin what we had, I would've kept you a secret," she paused, looking at you with pure adoration plastered on her face. "For as long as I could have."

Jimmy nodded his head, satisfied with your answers. "Well, that's it for tonight's show everyone. Please give a huge round of applause to our dear Y/N and Sana!"

You stood up, stepping closer towards Jimmy as you wrapped his arms around him, whispering. "Thanks heaps for having us tonight, never thought we'd cross paths again."

He was smiling as if he understood how it felt. "Anytime, Y/N, my wife and I were big fans back in the day."

You didn't respond, eyes following her instead. There was a sudden sharp ache in your chest as you watched her walk away from you, not bothering to look back.

Jimmy noticed the change in your emotions, squeezing your arm in comfort. "Hey, she'll be backstage for another half an hour. Don't let this chance slip away."

You heaved out a sigh, a defeated look on your face. Perhaps, her actions were all for the show, but god, her face said it all — she missed you as much as you missed her. "I can't, Jimmy. I'm a mess. I think I'll always be a mess. Do you think I could leave without her seeing me or knowing about it?"

There was surprise written on his face at your question. "I thought you guys did great out there, don't you wanna rekindle it?"

"No," you frowned. "I still love her...but its been over a decade and a lot has changed. She rejected me the last time I saw her. She seems happier - I'm still working on myself. I can't risk it."

"I understand," he smiled at you with sympathy. "Come, I'll get one of my producers to show you out."

✧･ﾟ: *✧･ﾟ:*

"Sana is here with her rumoured girlfriend," Lisa rasped out, closing the door behind her as she leaned against it - eyes wide and all that. "How are we gonna hide her from Y/N? She's literally sitting outside."

Jennie had horror written all over her face as soon as her eyes landed on your messy face - wonton soup smeared all over your mouth. "Actually...Y/N is here."

Lisa gasped at the sight of you. "I thought you went to order more drinks at the bar!"

You shook your head, standing up. "No, I ordered it through a QR code like I said I would. Where is she?"

"Y/N," Jennie held your hand to stop you. "I don't think that's a good idea."

"I'll be fine, Nini," you smiled reassuringly, rubbing your thumb against her skin. "I just wanna see what she looks like now."

"It's been seven years, Y/N," Lisa deadpanned, arms crossed and still blocking the door out of the private dining area. "She has moved on and so have you."

"We all know that's a lie."

With a mask of disappointment in her eyes, she took a step ahead to get out of your way, her shoulders slumped as she shook her head disappointingly. "This is going to pull you back a hundred times worst."

And it did. You wished you had listened to Lisa because as soon as Sana's eyes landed on yours, her smile faltered and turned into a worried frown. "Not now, Y/N, talk to me when you're sober. And in private."

"I am sober, Sana," you whispered frozen in place, a pang of pain rushing through every nerve end in your body. “Can we talk, please?”

She wouldn’t even look at you. “If you have anything important to say, I don’t want to hear it.”

You felt sick, stomach twisting in more ways than one and a sudden onset of frustration washed over you. “How could you be so cruel?”

She was once the constellations you admired, now the moon weeps at how she dimmed the brightness within you.

“We’re in public!”

“Nobody fucking knows us here,” your frail attempt at choking up your anger was visibly failing. “You know what? Fuck this, whatever. Have a nice life.”

“Y/N, wait,” she seemed taken aback at your outburst, quickly standing up to trail behind you.

“Fuck you, Sana.”

✧･ﾟ: *✧･ﾟ:*

The days that followed after your first public appearance became a blur. You were all over the news again, this time, they were all positive things about you (according to your publicists). Many old friends from the industry have been trying to reach out, some wanted to meet up for their own good - however, most were just glad to see you alive and well.

Since your hiatus, you have been away from the public eye; all of your social media accounts remained stagnant. Even the sleaziest paparazzi companies couldn't figure out where you were.

After all, you were and still are one of the biggest names on the industry.

"Here goes nothing," you said as you tapped on the 'share' button. It was a selfie of you in your bedroom - your bookshelf and art collection on the background. The caption was a simple 'this is 34'.

You closed your eyes as you inhaled a deep breath; it was your first post in nearly three years and you feel absolutely terrified. They were definitely going to judge the way you've aged, the books you read and a lot more other things that you should be prepared for and be used to - but you weren't.

Not long after, your phone rang; interrupting (thankfully) you from your dilemma. It was your mum on the other end. "Hey ma," you greet with a grin.

"Your dad, siblings and I wish you the happiest birthday today, my darling. Will you come and see us this year?" she asked with hope in her voice.

"Ma, I was just there last week," you playfully rolled your eyes. "Besides, if I come now, they will figure out where our family home is. And eventually, the public will find out where I live too."

"I know, I know," she hummed. "But you've been celebrating your birthday alone for years now. Why can't you invite your old friends? I'm sure Jongin and Momo and Lisa and Jennie and Jisoo and Jimin and Jungkook and —"

"Okay, okay," you chuckled. "I'm sure they all miss me too but I don't think I'm ready to let people in again. They're all living very busy lives. I enjoy my solitude right now and —" the sound of ringing from your front door cut you off, startled, you moved the phone away from your ear to make sure you weren't hearing things (again). "Uh, there's someone at the front. Must be one of my book deliveries — well, I hope."

"Aren't you gonna open the door?"

"No, why would I? Then they'll find out I live here." However, the doorbell rang once more. "Oh god, what if I accidentally put my location on my Instagram? Ma, I'll call you back."

"Y/N, it's —"

"Bye, I love you!"

You quickly hung up and turned your phone off before padding across your camera room to see who the person on the other side of the door was.

Your breath hitches at the sight of your ex-girlfriend patiently standing outside with a birthday cake on her hand. After a month of not seeing her, your shoulders slumped into a more relaxed state as you take another deep breath; pressing the red button.

"Sana?" you said with hesitation through the speaker. "You have red hair?"

"Hi Y/N," she waved at the camera. Damn that smile. "Happy birthday, please let me in before anyone sees. And yes, I had to dye it for a shoot."

You cleared your throat. "Uh, I'm coming," you walked towards the front door with your lips tucked behind your upper teeth. You pull the wooden door open, revealing the fiery-haired beauty on the other side. Your heart hammers against your chest and your fingers visibly shake as you step away to let her in. "It suits you."

"Thank you," she smiled shyly, looking around your place. "This is a lovely home, Y/N."

"Come," you took the cake off her hands as you walk towards the open kitchen with a view of the forest surrounding your house. "Pretty bold of you to assume caramel is still my favourite."

She frowned. "Is it not?"

You laughed. "No, no, it still is." As soon as you set the cake on the counter, you looked up to meet her gaze. "How did you find me?"

"Your parents," she quickly tucked a piece of hair behind her ear, awkwardly wrapping her arms around her loose cardigan. "I called to see how they were doing."

"And why's that?" you curiously raised an eyebrow, attempting to kill the assumption that she missed you in your head.

She took a step closer towards the counter — the only thing separating you away from her. "Because I wanted to find you," she paused, biting her lip. "After the interview, you disappeared. Just like that. No goodbye, no nothing. Why?"

"Why not?" your tone made her flinch, reminding her of the same coldness you showed her in that alleyway.

"We were doing so well...the interview, I thought you would maybe want to catch up —"

"I did, then I remembered how you broke my heart and then many other thoughts came along after that. Remember when you told me there was someone —"

"An obvious lie, Y/N, there was only you."

A sigh escaped your lips as you avoid her eyes. "For years, I made myself believe that it was true just so I could hate you. And not even a year later, Sana, not even a year, you began dating someone else. A fucking CEO out of all people — a guy who was probably busier than most of us combined; that was such a massive slap in the face considering you told me it wasn't working because of our schedules."

"It was —"

You raised a finger, stopping her. "No, I told you to leave and never come back. I told you that, do you remember?"

"I do," she tilted her head carefully, gaze holding that same familiar hurt all those years ago. "I do, and that's the sole reason I refused to knock on your door again for a decade - no matter how much I begged myself to. I couldn't bring myself to, anyway, not after I hurt you."

"So why are you here?" you asked, voice strained.

"Because I'm still deeply in love with you after all these years, because I believe you're the love of my life and I still want to grow old with you. And I want to love you again if you'll let me, Y/N, please. I love you, that's why I'm here.”

You looked up to find tears pooling in Sana's eyes, she turned away before wiping them away with her fingers. All you could hear was the drumming coming from your chest, your head all over the place once again.

You remembered it so vividly, the moment you wanted to marry her...the cherry red box that was sitting untouched in your safe after all these years. And it hurt.

"Say something, please," she sniffled, pleading you with her eyes as she placed her hand on top of yours - her cold skin against yours now lingering for a moment too long.

"Look at me, Sana," you exasperated, arms flinging wide open. "Look at the mess I am. I've been to rehab more than I can count my fingers. I ruined my own reputation and I hurt so many people along the way. There were days where I could barely breathe, days where I wanted it all to stop. And those days still come every now and then. I have pushed everyone away - even my own family. There's a barrier between me and all of the people I love, the gap will always remain because of the things I've done. And you say you want me?"

"I want you, chaos and all. I have loved you all these years...what's so different about now?"

"Do you know how long has it been since our break up?" you scoffed, pinching the bridge of your nose to stop the tears from coming. "You are in love with the idea of me, not who I am."

"Then let me unravel you once more, Y/N, this is all I'm asking for. I know I walked away when you needed me the most and I'm so fucking sorry, I live with that guilty everyday - god, I was so worried. I didn't sleep for a year when we were 27 because I didn't want to wake up to find out you were dead like everyone else would say. I should've reached out then because I knew that I couldn't live this lifetime without you. I didn't want to, not if you weren't in it. I ask myself why I didn't, but I can never find the right answer. All I know is I'm here now, and I'm never gonna let you slip away ever again."

Your walls began to crumble at her intimate confession. This time, you took both of her hands under yours, unable to stop yourself now. "I was going to marry you but you didn't stick long enough for me to do that."

"W-what?" she stammered, her voice breaking. "You were?"

It felt as if there was a knot wrapping your heart and your chest together, squeezing in a way that it almost hurt to breathe. There were so many thoughts flying through your mind, a million of what would've, could've and should've beens.

She unexpectedly collided her body against yours, making you stumble in your feet. Your hands luckily gripped the edge of the counter, balancing her and you together. Her arms snaked around your waist, engulfing you in a tight embrace as she whispered a million apologies.

"I'm so sorry," she cried, pushing you away with her hands. "Oh my god, how did I fuck this up so bad? I love you so much, why?"

"We both were fuck ups, weren't we?" you chuckled through the tears flowing down your cheeks. "Too young to know how cruel the world was."

"Will you please let me in again, Y/N? Let me fix this. I want you and I want us again. I don't care what they all think.”

"I don't deserve you, Sana, I think I'll only end up hurting you. I've been alone for so long now that if you asked me what love was like, I would only be able to mutter your name and remember what ours was like."

"Like the way I hurt you?" she croaked out, intertwining her fingers with yours - thumb rubbing gentle circles against your cold skin. "We'll work through it, together. I know what I'm walking into, I'm not as naive as I used to be. It won't be easy, but I love you. And I can't let this go - I'll never love again if it's not you."

You braced your hands on her hips, pulling her again. You welcomed her in, arms wrapped around her body - never wanting to let go. You stayed like this for a while; the comfortable silence filling all the missing puzzle pieces in your life. "I'm scared."

"I know," she sighed, rubbing your back with her palms. "I'm here now."

For years, you were lost. But not anymore. She was here now and you were home. Again.

[jxmis]

🥹🥹🥹🥹🥹

[jxmis]

Wish You Were Sober

Pairings: Rosé Park x Fem!Reader

Summary: You and Roseanne Park have been best-friends for years now. Having finished wrapping up your show before blackpink's last performance at Coachella, you decide to show your support and fly out to LA and watch them. But maybe that wasn't such a good idea. Not after the events that had happened after the afterparty. Everything has changed. (sorry i suck at doing summaries)

Warning(s): angst

A/N: a lil inspiration by Wish You Were Sober by Conan Gray. Soooo I'm having major pcd after seeing BP last saturday soo decided to write for my bias wrecker. I literally just thought and wrote of this a few hours ago. Same with the picture T_T. I also have been writing jennie, lisa, and chaewon fics. Posting whichever I get done first after this one! Enjoy! :)

Rosanne Park isn't usually one to party hard. She isn’t the usual person to get wasted either. It's rare for that to happen.

But as they wrapped up their final night headlining Coachella, a party was thrown for their successful two shows. Being the first k-pop act and girl group to headline, making history! Of course, she had to live it up.

However, one shot became two, three, and even taking a couple sips of margarita. Those who are close to Rosé know that she doesn't have a high tolerance when it comes to alcohol. She's a lightweight.

You being a lot more responsible and smart, only took a few sips of your alcoholic beverage. You handle your liquor pretty well.

You see Rosé's manager trying to talk some sense into her but it seems as Rosé is being stubborn. You sigh, you approach them. Jane looks at you with a pleading look, you nod and gesture for her to go. She silently thanks you, softly patting Rosé's cheek before leaving.

"C'mon, Chae, you've had too much to drink." You carefully and softly put hand behind her back. Rosé shakes her head in protest.

"Y/N/NNN!!! Nooooo 'm havin sooo much funn!" She slurs. She leans against your shoulder, resting her head on it. She looks at you a smile bright on her face, bringing the glass close to you. "Have some! It's sooo good!" You take the beverage away from her hand causing her to pout.

"We're leaving, Chae. You've had your fun. Time for you to rest." Despite her protest, you drag her out of the party. She eventually quits whining and resisting. She sulks instead. "You'll thank me in the morning for this." You offer her support which she gladly takes as she's walking. She's so drunk to the point that she can't even walk straight.

You thankfully arrive back to Rosé's place safely. You did your very best to cover up Chae from the horde of paparazzies as you leave the party. Your bodyguard and Rosé's, as well as her manager using flashlights to ruin their photos.

--------

You look after Rosé. Even when the aftereffects of drinking so much alcohol led her to throw up. You help sooth her by holding her hair and caressing her back. Letting her know you're there and not going anywhere. As soon as you saw her hand on her stomach and a grimace on her face, you knew. You’re quite thankful you were able to get her to her room and rush her into the bathroom.

"It's okay, Chae. I've got you," you say softly. A minute goes by after Rosé seem to have let it all out. You clean up her face and begin her night time routine. You've slept over a good amount of times to have memorized it all. You help her brush her teeth and awkwardly had to help her change into pajamas. It wasn't easy doing that second part with your eyes close. But to your surprise, she was very compliant.

You are so focus on helping her, making sure she's okay that you didn't notice how quiet she's been. "Hey.. you okay?" You say as she settles on her bed. That's when it hit Rosé. Tears starts to pour down her eyes. You panic. You forgot how emotional she gets after everything when she gets drunk. It's been awhile since you've done this. You quickly sit next to her. "What wrong? Don't cry, Chae. It's okay! You're safe."

She sits up and clings onto you. You wrap your arms around her, rubbing her back. First, she repeatedly apologizes. "Thank you for always being there for me and taking care of me, Y/N/N." She says in a hush tone still clinging tightly onto you.

Even though she can't see you, you smile. "Don't apologize, you did nothing wrong. You were just having fun and you deserve to have fun. You know I'll always be here when you're in need." You pull away, bringing your hands on her cheeks, wiping her tears away. "Even if it's having to watch you throw up and clean you up after." You both laugh at that. You smile triumphally at your success on making her laugh.

You move a strand of hair out of her face. Wiping the tears that still remain on her cheeks. Meanwhile, Rosé's eyes remain on you. You notice. The mood suddenly changes in the room. The way Rosé is looking at you... it's different than usual. Maybe you've seen it once in a while whenever you two hung out before. But you always thought you were being delusional. A look that holds so much feelings, unspoken ones.

You see her mouth move but nothing comes out. She closes it and suddenly you see her eyes move to your lips. It catches you off guard. Trying to take it all in, you then feel her lips touching yours. It takes you a minute to process everything. Coming to your senses, you quickly pull away. Rosé opens her eyes. She can see the shock and confusion on your face.

"Chae... what are you.. what are you doing?"

She swallows the lump on her throat. What is she doing? It felt right though. "I- I don't- I don't know." Rosé manages to stutter out, trying to keep her tears at bay. "I just- I thought- Oh god, I'm so sorry." She covers her mouth, surprise with her actions as well.

You get up from her bed and run your hands through your hair. A million thoughts going through your head. Rosé watches you just standing there, stressed out. Now, she's really full on crying. What had she done? She ruined everything. You let out a deep sigh, "Its okay.. it's okay, you're drunk. Under the influence. It was the alcohol in you. Just- Just get some rest, Chae." You hesitantly approach her and kiss her head. "Good night."

"I like you!" Rosé calls out as you're heading towards the door. You freeze. "I like you so much, Y/N. For so long now. The alcohol coursing through my veins just gave me the courage to finally do something about it. So, please stay." She begs.

Silence fills the room after Rosé's confession. There's no way all this time, Roseanne Park, your best-friend has had a crush on you. You sure would've notice if she did... right? She'd never showed any signs that she had romantic feelings for you. You know her like the back of your hand! This is all because she's under the influence. That's all. She's just saying crazy things.

Without looking back, You bow your head down. "That's real sweet, but I wish you were sober," you whisper out. With that, you leave the sobbing blonde's room, silently hoping she heard you. Maybe even remember all of this in the morning. You doubt it.

"But I really do," Rosé says softly, the tone of her voice so sincere... fragile.

[jihyoruri]

❚ ❚ ❚ ❚ ❚ ❚ ❚ ❚ 𓍢 CAUGHT IN BETWEEN kim chaewon & huh yunjin

prev. masterlist . next

📼★ ͘ ⴰ GETAWAY CAR , the best night drive

yunjin’s eyes stay focused on you when you and chaewon enter the dorms, you both seem in a good mood, well you’re always in a good mood so she should say chaewon seems in a good mood.

when the scandal first came out, yunjin can’t say she was surprised when she saw the video, it’s classic chaewon to her, but definitely not to everyone else, so she understood why people were so shocked.

what she didn’t understand is why you kept making up excuses, ever since that video and photos came out, the first thing she did was come to your room to talk about it but all you did was ramble about chaewon not being like that or there has to reasonable reason for it.

yunjin was hoping that the media would get to yn’s head and she would distance herself from chaewon, but it didn’t, you were so confident that this was a big misunderstanding, sometimes yunjin thinks you’re too much of a sweetheart cause even eunchae knew that chaewon had been glaring at you and yunjin all night.

but yunjin knows she can’t blame you, for making excuses, your relationship with chaewon isn’t an ordinary relationship, you both have so much layers and history, so she’ll just have to make the best out of what she can get.

so she did.

let’s go back to the night that the scandal let loose.

yunjin groaned when her phone went off multiple times during the night, she was trying to get some sleep before an early practice.

she tried her best to ignore them, but then her phone started ringing, she let out an annoyed groan before picking up her phone.

“what.” she said harshly into her phone.

“why aren’t you answering your phone.” her friend said into her ear.

“because I was sleeping.”

“okay sleepy head if I were you I’d check twitter like right now.” her friend then hangs up the phone and she takes her phone from her ear and looks at it confused.

she went into the app and mouth dropped at the first thing that popped up.

it was a video of you and her laughing to together, then the camera panned to chaewon who was staring at the both of you before rolling her eyes.

yeah this wasn’t a good look at all, how could she be so unprofessional ?, is all yunjin could think, she knows her and chaewon have some problems when it comes to you but she would never act like this in the public eye where cameras are on them at all times.

I’m gonna talk to her.

yunjin opens her room door and walks down the hallway to chaewon’s room only to see sakura at the door.

“she won’t open her door.” sakura says letting out, an annoyed sigh, “this is really bad yunjin, they’re already creating false narratives.” she says turning to the taller girl.

are they really false? yunjin asks herself, before completing disregarding the thought.

“I know.” she sighs, “I’m gonna go talk to yn.” she says putting a hand on sakura’s shoulder and walking down the hall to your room.

yunjin knocked on your door, waiting for you to open it put you don’t all she hears is a soft “come in.”

she opens the door and slips into yn’s room, she scans over it for a second, it’s like the colour pink attacked over yn’s room, the soft music from yn’s pink record player filling the room she gets lost in the feel until she sees yn’s photo bored on your wall a photo of you and chaewon catching her eyes, and she’s snapped back to the task at hand.

yunjin finds you laying on your back on your bed staring up at your ceiling.

“so…” she trails off before sitting at the edge of your bed, “how are we feeling about this situation?” she asks you.

you sit up on your elbows and look at her confused, “what situation.” you ask.

it’s yunjin’s turn to look at you confused, “um, chaewon’s situation, the one that has us trending all over social media.” she says like it’s the most obvious thing in the world.

yn stare’s at nothing for second, like she’s trying to to dig into her mind to find what yunjin is talking about.

yunjin let’s you do that for a little while, completely used to it.

your gasp fills her ears.

“oh, yeah that!” you say finally sitting up and crossing your legs, “I don’t know how to feel about it.” you say shrugging your shoulders.

“what do you mean?”

“I mean, I honestly don’t think chaewon would do that,.” you say sitting closer to yunjin, “and the stuff they’re saying about her are completely untrue, she hates us ? are you serious chaewon loves us.” yn says ranting.

she loves you. yunjin thinks to herself.

“this whole thing is stressing me out.” yn says leaning on yunjin’s arm, “that’s why it took me so long this remember what you were talking about as soon as I saw it I turned off my phone and shut it out of my mind.”

“I don’t think that’s healthy yn.” yunjin says looking down at the girl that leans on her shoulder.

“you know what else isn’t healthy, break outs from stress.” yn says in a pretentious tone.

yunjin laughs at your sass, “yeah, that’s true.” she responds softly.

you guys sit in silence for a while, and this is what yunjin loves, everything that involves you and chaewon is such a rush, if she could describe chaewon and yours relationship she would say adrenaline.

you’re chaewon’s person but she wants to be yours, if chaewon is your rush she wants to be your calm.

she looks at your face and even if you try to hide it she can see how much conflict this situation is causing your mind, she wants to take that away.

“alright.” she say’s getting up from your bed and opens your closet and takes out your pink crocs, “let’s get out of here.”

you look at her confused but pick your crocs anyway, “where are we going?” you ask as the taller girl takes your hand.

“anywhere, somewhere.” yunjin says dragging you out your room and taking you down the hall, she takes notice that sakura isn’t at chaewon’s door anymore.

after yunjin locks the door of the dorm she smiles at you and grabs your, before running down the hallway with your hands interlocked. “let’s take the stairwell.” she says.

a smile spreads on yn’s face as her and yunjin run the down the stairs, yunjin making all sorts of funny noises as they trip over their feet.

the run into the parking lot and yn comes to stop when yunjin runs to car, “who’s car is that?”

yunjin smiles mischievously, “that’s classified information, pretty girl.” she says getting into the drivers seat. “get in.”

yn looks back at the building and the back at the car, before letting out a small laugh and rushing into the car.

yn let out a squeal as yunjin zoomed down the empty road, she lifted her arms in the air, the midnight breeze over taking her, she lets out a laugh when yunjin lets out a yell into the night.

for something so impulsive, it felt so peaceful, this is exactly what both yn and yunjin needed, yunjin takes a peak at yn who still has her hands up in the air before leaning down to switch through the radio stations.

to yunjin it felt like it was only them in the world, like they weren’t idols that were in a big scandal at the moment, it was just them.

“wait, hold on!” yn shouted as she turned up the radio both her and yunjin looking at each in the shock at the song playing.

“you were driving the getaway car.” both yn and yunjin sang more so shouted into the night, you going back to your original position lifting your arms in the air and singing your heart out.

“we were flyin’, but we’d never get far.”

the night breeze overtook you and yunjin and she drove down the road, the only thing you guys could hear was the wind and the music.

yn and yunjin looked at each other with smiles on their faces before yn leaned in and kissed yunjin on her cheek, before whispering a “thank you.”

It wasn’t the kiss yunjin wanted but it would have to do for now.

“no problem, pretty girl.”

[jxmis]

Any ending from you will be a good ending dear! If people don’t want a sad ending they don’t have to read it 💙

You’re right 🥺 Maybe i’ll be able to get started on it later! 😌

[jxmis]

Will there be a second part to the second choice fic with Spencer? I absolutely adore it, if not it’s okay! I’ll be here to read the rest of your work💙 much love

Thank you so much!! 🥹 Tbh I thought about creating a second part buuutttt I don’t see it ending with a happy ending 😬 Soooo if you guys wouldn’t mind that, I def could write a second part for it cuz I do have an idea 👀👀👀

[jxmis]

i have so much JJ stories in mind… someone motivate me to do it. if i could finish that spencer reid story within like two hours, i should be able to finish one of the like 8 ideas i have for JJ 😭

[jxmis]

Second Choice

Spencer Reid x Fem!Reader

Summary: You're tired of always being the second choice... even in your own relationship you were the backup.

Warning(s): Angst with no happy ending

Word Count: 1.5k

A/N: Inspired by the Little Women scene of Laurie and Amy but with my own twist <3

(gif not mine! credit to the owner!)

You knew what everyone thought of you. Oh poor Y/N, always the second choice. Her being the second choice in her family, her brother always being the first and favorite. Always being the second best in her class in the Academy. And even her boyfriend’s second choice. How pathetic of you. You know that. 

Of course, he’d rather be with the beautiful blue eyed dirty blonde haired woman. She’s not only beautiful, she’s smart, amazing at her job, a great friend, and everyone loves her. You on the other hand, you’re just… you. You will never compare to Jennifer Jareau.

It shocks you how Spencer Reid even noticed you at all. Sure, you work with him, but you never would’ve guessed that he'd ever want a romantic relationship with you. You’re not blind or naive, everyone practically knows how Reid is in-love with JJ. You witnessed it from the very beginning when JJ had joined the team as the media liaison. But they never really happened, to your surprise. 

You knew what you were getting yourself into when you agreed to go on a date with Spencer. That one date turned into two… three and eventually, he had asked you to be his girlfriend. You thought that maybe… just maybe he could love you the way he loves JJ. That he’d look at you the way he looks at her. You thought that you could help him move on. However, that wasn’t the case.

It’s been almost a year since you two have been together. It never even feels like you really had all of him. That's because… you never did. Unlike JJ, who always had all of him, she has his full respect, trust, and most of all… love. 

You can’t help but see looks of sympathy from others. Even they notice the way Spencer would sneak glances at JJ, how he looks at her, hugs her, how his smile would grow brighter and bigger because of her. You’re tired. Tired of competing for Spencer’s love. You should've known this was a battle you’d lose. Of course, you have no resentment towards JJ. She’s with Will, you know how much she loves her husband and Henry. You know her love for Spencer will always be platonic. The only one to blame is yourself. Though, you can’t help this burning anger towards Spencer. For- For leading you on, making you let him in when he couldn’t even do the same. Mainly, for making you fall for him. 

You’re sick of being the second choice. Today will be the last day and you vow to yourself that you’ll never let anyone make you feel that way again. You deserve better. This ends today. 

 ———

You had told Spencer earlier how you wanted to talk after this case. Well, the case was over, it was a tough case and as much as you’d like to be comforted by Spencer’s arms you know alcohol will be what will comfort you tonight instead. However, you all had landed almost 20 minutes ago and most are preparing to leave. Instead of Reid doing the same thing, he’s rather smiling and laughing with JJ. 

“Spencer, let’s go,” you called out. To no one’s surprise, you were ignored. You see JJ motioning for Spencer to go but resulting in the opposite. 

“Give me a sec! I’ll meet you at the car!” Spencer responds back. The urge you had to yell, but instead, you took a deep breath to calm yourself down. You put on a fake smile and indeed go down to the parking garages. Tears started to run down your face as you head to the car. Instead of waiting for Spencer, you drove off. 

Right as you had arrived in your shared apartment with Spencer which was originally his until he had suggested you move in with him. You had honestly thought this act of his meant he’s finally moving on, but it was another misleading act of his. 

You began to pack all your stuff as fast as you could wanting to leave this place as soon as possible. When you open the door to leave, you’re surprised to see the person about to knock. 

“Derek? W- What are you doing here?” You ask very confuse. 

He raises his eyebrows, “You goin somewhere?” You look down, your eyes becoming filled with tears dying to fall. 

“You got a place to stay tonight?” Your head snaps at his question. Your mouth opens and closes but couldn’t get a word out. “C’mon, you can stay with me till you find a place.” 

———

You and Morgan arrive at the BAU the next morning together. You both were bickering about the movie you two had watched last night. Watching a movie and drowning both yourselves with ice cream was a way Morgan hoped to make you feel better. It honestly did help along with him listening to you. There was not a single moment did you see or even feel judgment coming from him. He’s a great friend. You’ll miss him. No, you’re going to miss everyone. 

Unfortunately, your bickering and thoughts were interrupted by the one person you wanted to avoid. “Y/N!” Spencer calls out as he speeds to you. “W- What happened last night?! You- you left me! A- And all your stuff… they’re gone!” Spencer’s reaction genuinely shocked you. It actually seems like he cares.

You snap out of it and scoff, “I’m surprised you even noticed.” You walk past him and head to your desk. Now, all eyes are on you both, but they don’t forget to eye Morgan. All he does is put both his hands up, not giving them anything. 

“What’s going on with you, Y/N!” That was the tipping point for you. You turn to the brunette and drag him to Hotch’s office, closing the doors. You were so angry, you didn’t even think to close the blinds. 

The rest of the team couldn’t help but watch you both obviously having an argument. They’ve never seen you so angry… so full of rage. They’d be lying if they didn’t think it was bound to happen at some point, they’re profilers for god sakes! JJ is standing there and can’t help but feel guilty as she watches the scene. Morgan sensing this, he puts his hand on her shoulder and whispers, “Don’t go blaming yourself now, JJ. It’s not your fault.” 

“I’m tired, Spencer! I’m tired of us, I can’t do this anymore. We- we’re… We’re done.” Spencer stands there in shock whilst you head to the door so close to heading out. 

“That’s it? You’re just going to give up on us?” You couldn’t help the laugh that erupted from you. 

“Give up on us? Are you serious right now, Spencer?” You turn facing the clueless brunette. “I had done nothing but hold on for dear life!”

“Well, you breaking up with me with no explanation really shows you holding on to us, huh?” At this point, you didn’t have it in you to yell and fight anymore. He wants a reason, you’ll give him one. 

“I’ve always been the second choice in everything in my life. My family, past relationships, even the academy! You knew that… I told you.. Trusted you with that information. God, you even promised that you wouldn’t make me feel like that.” You sigh, “The problem is that you did, Spencer… you did.” 

The tone of your voice… so broken… so fragile breaks Spencer’s heart. The door being open, the team could now hear the conversation and it kills them to see you in such a state. “Y/N…” but before Spencer could say anything, you raise your hand up not wanting him to interrupt.

“I will not be the person you settle for just because you cannot have her. I won’t. I won’t do it.” Tears now escape your eyes much to your dismay. You didn’t want Spencer or the others seeing you cry. You start to back away, “I won’t- not when I’ve spent my entire life loving you.” With that, you leave Hotch’s office, sadly, only to be met by looks of pity from the rest of the team. 

You wipe your tears. You head to your desk grabbing your belongings and walk past all of them, not once daring to look them in the eye knowing what their facial reactions already look like. Even though you hear your name being called out by some of them, you continue your way not once ever looking back.

You thought you could stay at least the rest of the week to say your proper goodbyes to the team. You’ve been with most of them since the beginning. They were basically your family, it was only fair to have a proper farewell. But now, it’s too late for that, you can’t bring yourself to step foot in there anymore. Maybe someday, but for now, you’re okay with how things were left. You’re left with only sending them a letter as your goodbye. Your only hope is that they’d understand. You grabbed your stuff at Morgan’s and got everything in your car. You email Hotch your transfer request. You don’t know what’s next for you, but you couldn’t wait. This time, it’ll be different, it’ll be better.

[jxmis]

• *₊°。 ❀°。 JXMIS’ LIBRARY ❀。• *₊°。

fluff = ♡ angst = 💧

・・・・★・・・・・・★ ladies and gentlemen, i present to you... ★・・・・・・★・・・・

kpop idols

BLACKPINK

✰Rosé✰

➼ wish you were sober 💧

➼ you’re losing me 💧

➼ back to friends 💧 WIP

✰Jennie✰

➼ rewrite the stars ♡💧WIP

➼ start a war ♡💧WIP

AESPA

✰Karina/Jimin✰

➼ lose you to love me💧

✰Aeri/Giselle✰

OTHERS

✰Jennifer Jareau✰

➼ Unconditional Love 💧

✰Spencer Reid✰

➼ second choice 💧

[jxmis]

Unconditional Love

Jennifer Jareau x Fem!Reader

Summary: You can’t help it, your love for a certain beautiful blonde will always be unconditional. No matter how much it hurts you.

Warning: none

Word Count: 943

A/N: Ahh!!! Never thought my first story would be about JJ! This quote is none other than said by Ms. Taylor Swift. My fyp has been filled with sad edits of the audio plus I'm rewatching CM which gave me this idea. Also, sorry I suck with writing a summary!!! Feedback is very much appreciated!

(gif not mine! credit to the owner!)

There is a saying that you once heard, “I think true unconditional love is like… do you love someone so much that even… you would even love them if they didn’t love you anymore. That is unconditional love.” 

Who would’ve thought you’d relate to such thing. Here you are, loving someone from afar. Someone you can never have… Someone you can never be with. 

Here you are today, attending the wedding of the woman you have been in-love with for so long. Your only wish was that it had been you who she is marrying. However, as always, ever since New Orleans at least, that’s when everything changed between the both of you. You had to pretend like nothing happened between you and JJ. As well as, for five years, convince yourself you had no romantic feelings for the blonde.

It took a while for the rest of the team to notice how the dynamic between you and JJ had changed. It was just like how it took them some time to realize that there was something going on romantically between you and JJ. Well, before the New Orleans case happened anyways. Before she met him, William LaMontagne Jr.

You surprised the team though, JJ included. They assumed you’d be requesting a transfer. They were all quite relieved with the way you handled the situation maturely. They love and care about you, they were all glad you remained part of the team.

You are so busy caught up in your head, you didn’t realize a figure had been eyeing you for a while now and is now standing by your side. “I don’t know how you do it,” Morgan whispers to you. You turn to him, confusion written all over your face. “You know what I mean Y/N/N. How can you just stand here as you witness the woman you love marry someone else?” He questions you, genuinely curious. 

You stare at Derek shock all over your face. Your mouth open and closes multiple times before you sigh and give in. You turn your attention back to the beautiful blonde again. “She’s happy. That’s all the matters to me, even though it’s not with me.” 

“Wow, I-,” Morgan looks at you unable to say anything. You can’t help but chuckle at his speechless state. 

“A wise woman once said…” You smile a little before continuing, “I think true unconditional love is like… do you love someone so much that even… you would even love them if they didn’t love you anymore. That is unconditional love.” When you get no response from Derek, you turn to him seeing his eyes fill up with unshed tears. A sad smile appears on your face, “That’s how I feel about JJ… We were never meant for each other. But I’m glad that even for a sheer moment, it felt like we were.” 

Suddenly, Morgan wraps his arms around you, hugging you tightly. You return it, just as tight. “I’m sorry things didn’t work out as you’d hope. But I know damn well that you’ll meet your person soon Y/N. And they’re going to be one lucky human being because they get to experience what it’s like to be loved by Y/N Y/L/N.” 

A tear manages to escape from your eye. You were frightened of what would happen if you said more, so all you could manage to say was, "Thank you, Derek." With that, Derek kisses your forehead and looks at you with his signature charming smile. “Anytime, lover girl. Anytime.”

Garcia interrupts both of you and orders you both to enter the dance floor before you could continue talking with one another. You are slightly thankful of the interruption, not wanting to further talk about your failed love life.

After what felt like hours of dancing, you find yourself inside Rossi’s mansion waiting at the open bar. “Thanks for uh being here.” The woman who appeared next to you says nervously. It seems as everyone likes to sneak up next to you today. Though, you never would have guessed that one of them would be her.

You smile at her, “Of course, I wouldn’t miss it for the world.” However, she looks at you with a questioning look which leads you to believe that she doesn’t believe you. You raise your eyebrows, “You know, when I promised to be there for you always, I really did mean it. Truly, Jen, I'm happy for you; otherwise, I would have left a long time ago.” As she maintains eye contact with you, she sees nothing but pure honestly. She extends her hand and squeezes it tightly as she smiles at you.

“Besides, I meant it when I told you that I want to be there to bare witness you on the happiest day of your life. I’ll always support you, J.” You say softly, meaning every word. JJ couldn’t help herself and hugs you tightly, tears streaming down her face. 

She speaks softly in your ear, "You know I'll always love you, Y/N." Unfortunately, not the way she had once used to in both your early days in the BAU. However, you’ve come to accept the situation you’re in. She’s happily married now with a child and you’re finally ready to move on. Jennifer Jareau has finally set you free.

You smile though refuse to shed tears in her presence. “I know, I know… and you know I’ll always love you too.” You both hold each other for a few more second before JJ pulls aways. You both continue to stare at each other for a few moment until JJ walks away and attaches herself to her now husband. Finally allowing the tears to fall, you mumble to yourself, "Maybe in another life."

[delfiore]

only make you cry

pairing: florence pugh x fem!reader

synopsis: flo isn’t ready to be in a new relationship after her last one ended by means of public scrutiny.

word count: 2.6k

a/n: hello. um, ik it’s been a while, but school and work has just been so hectic that i barely even have time to rest. i was also dealing with some things too, but alas am back. i hope y’all haven’t forgotten abt me and i’m hoping to get back into writing again soon because it’s fun and not because it’s sth i have to do. so ya, enjoy this angsty, kinda smutty but not rly fic i whipped out :3

════ ⋆★⋆ ════

She remained untouched.

By the responsibilities she had to bare as a price of only doing what she loved to do.

By the lousiness of the world waiting to gouge out any imperfections so that it may discredit her just for the sake of it.

By the mask-like cynicism she had come to develop just to survive and not get swallowed whole.

She remained untouched by you.

Yet, the desire to reach out and touch her, despite her serene appearance—face pressed into the pillow, eyes comfortably shut, lips slightly parted—was beyond any reasoning that you could muster. You simply desired her, to touch her, to feel her, the way you did merely hours before.

The sky was beginning to brighten, signaling another day. You didn’t want to leave, you only wanted to reach out and touch her, to kiss her, and tell her that you were here to stay. But you knew you couldn’t.

She stirred, finally. Florence was a quiet waker, with a sharp inhale and a purse of her lips, eyelids slowly peeling open to reveal two emerald gems, that usually start out more hazel and golden in the morning. You gave her a small smile. “Good morning”.

“What time is it?” She asked.

You hummed, reaching back toward the stand for your phone. “8:37”, you had checked ten minutes prior too.

You watched her as she willed herself to rouse, hunching over the side of the bed, like she was putting the weight of the world she left by the bed back on her shoulders. You reached over, and brushed her spine with the back of your hand. You thought you felt a split second in which she found comfort in it, but it was gone too soon when she stood up and headed for the bathroom.

You always observed Florence. You liked to admire the person that she was, watching this phenomenon of a human being do the most mundane tasks, like cooking an omelette or watering a plant. It made you feel special, being able to be in her presence made you feel phenomenal. She tended to have that effect on people, not just you. You were just lucky you got to witness it behind closed doors.

“Could you feed Billie, please?” You loved when she included you in her routines. You would give her a kiss on her jaw and a gentle caress of her hips in gratitude in passing her.

Sometimes when you’re lucky, like now, she would grab you, and kiss you deep with a sigh, her eyes lustful and sultry when they gaze into yours after.

It started a few weeks prior, the sex, and the mingling, months earlier than that. It was at an after-party you were expected to attend, that Flo also happen to be there. There was a certain glow to her, something that made her seem more mature than the last time you saw her whilst shooting Black Widow. The short brunette hair, the nose ring, it was different, but it all suited her.

“Y/N?! Christ, is that you?!”

You started hanging out again, just like you did whilst shooting the movie and a little while after that before your respective schedules pulled you apart. It was as if no time had passed.

She cooked for you the way she did, a drink on the side and occasionally dancing to music that hyped her up. Then one day, she confided in you. She told you that she and her boyfriend had broken up.

“It was a few months ago,” she said with a sad smile, “the pressure just got too much. We’re friends, though.”

“I’m sorry.” Were you an asshole for leaping on the inside? You couldn’t tell her how you felt three years ago because she was already in a relationship, especially when Zach was a good man, and she was happy too.

Then one night, she kissed you.

It was after a bottle of wine (or two), and you both were on her couch. You felt bold, and your hand ended up over her thigh, feeling the softness of her skin. Her laughter had died down, only breathy giggles now from her plump lips, her intense gaze lighting fires in the pit of your stomach. And before long, she was straddling you and desperately attempting to pull your shirt off.

“I’m going on a trip next week with some mates,” she told you, tickling the back of your neck with her arms resting around it, “come with me?”

You could never say no to her, never when she holds you like this. But alas, you were just messing around.

Ibiza was a nice change of pace from the bustling city; it was sunshine and blue sky as far as you could see during the day, then parties and drinks until the early hours in the morning.

You liked that she knew when to have fun, but not too much to let herself go. She always seemed in control. Her friends were welcoming of you, but you weren’t free of the teasing comments.

“She seems lovely,” one of her friends said, once you had left to the bar. You’d just make out what she said. “Where’d you find her?”

“We met on-set,” Flo answered.

“Good for you, mate. She’s always following you around like a lost puppy, it’s cute.”

A small laugh erupted from Florence’s chest, and you felt something churn in your stomach. You took the drinks from the bartender with a small ‘thank you’, and returned to the group.

You handed Olive her drink, then Flo hers before kissing her cheek. “Your dry martini.”

It was only after you had come back from another party that night, that you thought about it again.

“You okay?” She mumbled, peppering kisses on your bare shoulder, her hand roaming your body.

The thing was, you didn’t mind being her lost puppy. You were too devoted to care.

The media was started to catch up. Pictures of her and you during your sun-soaked holiday started to make headlines, at first because two Marvel stars were seen vacationing together. But then fans began to speculate when more handsy pictures began to surface (a failed attempt by your publicist to keep things quiet), and you suddenly felt the pressure. It was in particular the pictures of you and her splashing each other in the water that did it.

“People need to get a job, christ,” you sat by the island scrolling through Twitter on the private account you made for the sole purpose of lurking.

Florence let out a small laugh as she chopped a bell pepper in half. “Let them talk, hm? We don’t need to concern ourselves with it.”

“It’s a bit difficult to mind your business when it’s shoved in your face every time you open your phone,” you huffed through your nose, extending your foot toward where Billie had chosen to sit by your side to taunt the pup.

“It’s not like you to care about what people think. What changed?”

“I don’t know, I just don’t like people butting into my relationships, that’s all.”

“Well,” she said so casually, “we’re not exclusive or anything, so . . .”

You didn’t know what to say. Billie seemed to have picked up on the awkwardness too, and trotted away to find her bed for a nap.

“Y/N,” she said, but you didn’t look up, “you know we’re just messing about, right?”

“Of course,” you said, shrugging, “it’s what we agreed upon the first time. What? You think I’m in love with you or something?”

“You better not be,” she laughed as you made your laugh over to her side.

“Why not?” You mirrored her laugh, and snaked your arms around her waist.

“‘Cause it’ll complicate everything,” Flo said lowly, “and I don’t like things to be complicated.”

“Alright,” you nodded, taking her chin in your fingers. “Well, I’m not, so.” You pecked her lips.

You didn’t know you could feel the kind of isolation like what you felt when Flo went away. She had gone back to England to be with her family, leaving you all alone in this god-awful town, in Los Angeles, the city of liars and pretenders. You thought you might have become one too.

It was easier said than done, and you thought you could do it. You thought you could be content with just being a fuck, but it was never that easy. You stopped seeing anyone properly ever since you started knowing Flo, and that was three years ago. You knew it was a futile effort to wait, but you waited anyway.

“My nan just gave me this amazing apple pie recipe. I’m gonna make it when I get back,” you let her ramble on FaceTime as you attempted to do work on your laptop.

“Y/N.”

“Hm?”

“Did you hear what I said?”

“Your nan’s pie recipe,” you replied, turning towards the camera, “can’t wait to try it.”

“Is everything okay?”

“Everything’s fine,” your voice was started to growing harsher, “‘s fine.”

“Doesn’t sound like it,” she said, “Y/N, what’s wrong?”

“Nothing,” you said firmly, “please leave it alone, Flo.”

You didn’t like the way you sounded. You were so harsh to her. A quick glance towards the screen told you she was taken aback by your response, maybe a little hurt too. It was a mistake.

“I have to go, got some work to do,” you sighed, swallowing the lump in your throat, “I’ll call you later.”

“Okay,” Flo said, so quietly you almost didn’t catch it. You ended the call before you or her could say anything else.

You sunk back into your chair, and finally let the tears flow and you held your face in your palms.

Hours later, you were clutching your phone, staring at the screen showing your messages with her, trying so hard to say something, anything. The silence was brutal, but it was one you caused yourself. You didn’t want to bother her, but you couldn’t stand it any longer.

Please don’t be upset with me, I was an asshole.

I can’t stop thinking about you all the fucking time.

I think I have feelings for you.

Sorry about earlier. Work is stressing me out.

Mere minutes later, you received a photo message as a response. Your breath gets caught in your throat when you opened it to see what it was. “For your troubles ,” it read, and it was a picture of her in her underwear in bed.

You leaned back and exhaled a heavy breath, as your hand slowly crept down your body underneath your pants.

But it wasn’t the same. You needed her with you, under you, above you, close to you. You wanted to hold her as you came, as you have been lately, hoping she would feel the affection in return.

You counted down the days that you would be meeting her in New York. She had to do press there for a couple of days, and you agreed to spend some time with each other before she returned to the UK for more press. Your manager wasn’t happy when you decided to book your own ticket after she had refuses to book you one because it wasn’t for ‘professional purposes’.

The hotel you booked was close to hers, just by accident, but you decided to hire a cab to bring her over anyway. You had been waiting patiently when she knocked on your door at around 10 at night.

“Hi,” you said softly, walking backwards to let her in.

“Hi,” she replied, tugging at the back of your neck and kicking off her boots, “I missed you.”

“Yeah?”

“Mhm, couldn’t stop thinking about you, and this,” you let her explore your body because you had been waiting for her to do so for so long.

You collapsed next to her with a heavy sigh, looking over. Her hair was disheveled, her eyes closed and lips parted, her chest rose up and down. She looked so pure like an angel, but also sinful like the devil. Her eyelids peeled open, and her eyes had turned a deep green when she looked over at you.

She was perfect, and you were enraptured by her in every way.

So you captured her lips in a slow kiss. Low hums bubbled in her throat, as she snaked an arm around your waist.

“I love you,” it came out as the fainted whisper. You froze. It wasn’t supposed to be like this.

“What?” You breathed out.

“I said I love you,” she repeated, locking you in with kisses along your jaw.

“No,“ you pulled away, shaking your head vehemently, “no, you don’t, Flo. Don’t say shit like that.”

“What the fuck?” Why was she offended? “Y/N?”

“You can’t just say stuff like that without any consequences,” you didn’t mean to snap, but you were pacing around too, “we agreed to just fooling around.”

“Okay, I’m sorry. Why are you so pissed about this?”

“Because you’re being unfair!” You exclaimed. “You don’t love me, but I love you, Flo! I love you. And this, all of this is so unfair.”

“Then why did you agree to it?” She frowned.

“Because—“ there was a lump growing in your throat, “because having some of you is better than nothing.”

“God, Y/N,” Flo sat up, and put her hand in her hands, the sheets barely covering her bare chest. “We should have never done this.”

“So you regret it?”

“No, but I wouldn’t have agreed to it if I knew it was so agonizing for you. Like shit, what the hell do you want from me, Y/N?!”

You stood at the foot of the bed, your fists clenching and relaxing. You felt so small. The light from outside the window scarred her face.

“I want you,” you said defeatedly, “I want you to love me the way I love you.”

She looked at you incredulously, “how long have you had feelings for me?”

You looked away. “I don’t know, like ever since we met I felt something. I just never said anything.”

You heard her grumble under her breath. “I-I can’t right now, Y/N. There are things that I still need to work on. It was really hard where I left off with my last relationship.”

“I know,” you took a seat at the edge of the bed, “I’ll wait for you, until you’re ready.”

“I can’t ask you to wait for me.”

“I’ve been waiting for three years,” you smiled sadly, “I can wait a little more.”

You watched her as she wordlessly got up and gathered her clothes to put them back on. You wanted to speak up, but you could only watch like a ghost.

“Thank you, Y/N, for everything you’ve done for me,” she held your hand, and stroked your cheeks tenderly. “I have never taken you for granted, ever. And yes, I do love you.”

She leaned down to kiss your forehead before heading for the door. You felt the tears welling up, but you spoke anyways.

“When you’re ready, you know how to reach me.”

There was a hint of a smile before Florence turned to the door. When it closed, you felt the stillness of the room, void of the rustling of the sheets when she would turn to the side, her quiet hums of a melody she couldn’t get out of her head, the click of her lighter as she goes to light her cigarette. It was you, and your own sounds now, devoid of bliss, devoid of her.

[jxmis]

[lightupthemoon]

The Effect You Got On Me: From The Vault (No. 6)

No. 6: The more we stay quiet, it gets loud

No. 1 // No. 2 // No. 3 // No. 4 // No. 5 // No. 7 // No. 8 // No. 9 // No. 10

Summary: Kate has trouble sleeping. Drabble collection based on the events of The Effect You Got On Me.

Pairing: Kate Bishop x Reader.

Song: Don't Wanna Be Your Friend (feat. Katie Pearlman) by ayokay

Warnings: None for this one, just fluff. However, 18+ for previous and future parts, minors DNI.

Word count: 856

Read on AO3 // PLAYLIST

AUTHORS NOTE: I was gonna update next week but I'm leaving for a trip tomorrow and I will be off the grid until maybe Thursday, so I decided to give you a small one. This is just fluff that would have gone between part 3 and part 4. (If anyone wants to be tagged, lemme know) Enjoy!

You flinched in your bed, startled by the soft knock on the door that woke you up. You reached for your phone on the nightstand, clicking on the home button to check the hour. 3:45 AM. Who in the hell would be knocking on your dorm room at that hour? 

You lifted your chin to look across the room, America completely passed out in a deep slumber, even snoring softly. There was no way in hell she would get up. You sighed, grumpily throwing the blankets off your body and walking to the door, rubbing the sleep off of your eyes. You heard another knock, a little louder this time.  

"What the–" You started as you swung the door open, only to stop mid-sentence when you saw Kate behind the door, confused. "Katie?" 

"Hi," Kate greeted you with an anxious smile, before quickly looking down at her shoes. She seemed fidgety, playing with her hands. "Did I wake you up? Of course I woke you up, it's late. Did I wake America? Does she want to kill me? Oh, no. I should go. I shouldn't have come in the first place. Go back to sleep, I'm so sorry for–" 

"Katie, darling," you interrupted her, placing your hand on hers. She shut up immediately. "What's wrong?" 

She licked her lips. "I couldn't sleep and I just–" she trailed off mid-sentence, running her fingers through her hair, exhaling heavily through her nose. Almost like she didn't want to say what was going through her head. "Can I–can I stay with you?" 

Kate was looking at you with big doe eyes, the crease between her eyebrows knitting them together. She looked so lost and vulnerable–you wanted nothing more than to kiss her worries away. 

You grabbed one of her hands, intertwining your fingers with hers. "Come on in, just be quiet, okay?" 

Kate nodded, a deep feeling of warmth flowing through her body at your touch. She closed the door behind her, following you into your bed. You laid on your side to look at her while pulling the blankets over the two of you. God, she was so beautiful. The moonlight coming through the window made her skin glisten like porcelain, enhancing all of her facial features. You brushed her cheek with the back of your index finger, butterflies furiously fluttering in your stomach with the way her blue eyes glimmered. 

"Do you wanna talk about it?" You asked her in a whisper. 

Kate sighed, shaking her head no. "It's nothing." 

"I have seen you fall asleep standing up, Katie," You cackled. "It has to be something."

Your gaze inadvertently fell to her mouth, watching her chew on the pink flesh of her bottom lip. Silence reigned for a moment while Kate pondered her answer. You ran your fingertips across the side of her neck, waiting for her to speak. 

"Have you ever wanted something so badly that it just…" Kate sighed, looking down at her hands. "Freaks you out how much you want it?"

She looked back up at you, your eyes still fixated on her lips as you said, "Yeah, I have." You saw her eyebrows rise in a silent question, and you cleared your throat, grateful that she wouldn't be able to see the pink flush on your cheeks in the dark. You shook your head, your gaze finding hers. "But I am a firm believer that if you want something bad enough, it will find a way to be." 

"Well, I really hope you're right." 

"I know I am. Besides, you're Kate Bishop. You can get everything you want." 

Kate huffed. "Not everything." You furrowed your eyebrows and you opened your mouth to question what she meant by that when she continued saying, "I don't know, maybe it's just the competitions." Kate breathed out. "Semi-finals are around the corner." 

"Come on, you have nothing to worry about. I've told you before. No one's better than you." 

The corners of Kate's mouth tugged upward. "Do you really mean that?" 

"Of course I do. You're the world's greatest archer, remember? They won't know what hit 'em." 

Kate chuckled, scooting over, resting her chin on your shoulder, your bodies brushing together as she tangled her legs with yours. Your arms reacted on their own, circling her waist. 

"Thank you for letting me stay. I promise I'll leave before America wakes up." 

"Nah, don't worry about it. I don't care what she has to say as long as you feel better." 

"I do," Kate mumbled, her lips against your skin. "I always do when you're with me." 

Her words unleashed a rattling zoo inside you. You kissed the top of her head and held back the three words that wanted to come out of your mouth. Instead, your grip on her tightened, and she scooted closer, taking little to no time for her chest to rise and fall rhythmically, a clear sign that she had fallen asleep in your arms. You pressed your cheek to the top of her head, focusing on her breathing, wishing to stay like that forever as sleep took over you once again.

TAGLIST: @sunshadesnrainbowz @imlike-so-gaydude @hopingforromanoff @ittynyte @girlssnrosess @assgardangod

[margoterobbies]

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