[turing-tested]

what are yalls opinions on these assorted strawberry cows

[graverobber3457]

All this love for Eeby deeby, glup shitto, blorbo, horse plinko, skrunkly and scrunglo-where’s some respect for my skater cousin throckmorton?

[hanzobow]

alfred molina is a national treasure

[blapis-blazuli]

I thought these tags in the reblogs had prepared me for what was coming. They did not.

[hjarta-deactivated20260124]

parasocial relationships are bad etc but i would do anything to have brunch with andrew garfield

[filmnoirsbian]

I love getting unaccompanied minors (kids flying alone) who so clearly just. Don't want to be here lol. Sometimes I get to know a little of their story, like their parents are divorced, or a family member died and they're heading to the funeral, but usually they just don't want to talk about it and that's fine. But I always treat the flight like it's a challenge to make them smile. I offer them snacks and soda but that's never enough, that's whatever, they could get those from an airport vending machine. Chump change. So then I tell the worst jokes. Just the most embarrassing, kindergarten teacher, annoying dad jokes you can think of. And those always get a groan, or a "Seriously??" And that's my in! Now I can say "Why, what's your idea of a good joke? No, come on hotshot, make your best joke, let's see it." And they hem and they haw but of course they eventually tell me their very best joke because kids are little competitive comedy goldmines. And it's always super funny, so I laugh, and that's where they slip up. Because you know what you almost always do when your joke successfully makes someone laugh? You smile. And I'm like. Gotcha. Rookie move. Now you're going to end up having a good time in spite of yourself. I win.

[filmnoirsbian]

Did this with an 11yo u.m. today and he said "What did the ghost say to the other ghost?" And I said "What?" "Nothing. Ghosts aren't real."

[filmnoirsbian]

I'm literally a flight attendant, offering snacks and drinks is my job

[this-is-a-name-dont-worry]

gshsjb

[stimman3000]

we’re really at that point in the year where no one cares about anything huh

[krishnadewme]

[lionkins]

[wallpatterns-deactivated2019120]

My psych professor mentioned swaddling in lecture so I emailed him a picture of me being swaddled in my dorm room and asked if I could get extra credit because it was really hot in there and I got really sweaty and he was like “fabulous, sure”

[willisahappygrahamcracker]

[mountainashfae]

I’m going to miss the Honors Advisor from my university.

[wrathofthestag]

[snazzybees]

This is definitely my favorite email i’ve recieved from a professor, with the subject line “back at it”.

[katealot]

Definitely one of the most sign offs ever

[kingtoyourwarlock]

From my PhD supervisor. Love him

[niyarest]

[egirl-vrissy]

[titkoks]

the comments on this video killed me

[karnalesbian]

ol'

lookin ass

[neko-manta]

[tuberousroot]

they are friends <3

[amygdalae]

Only good tiktoker is that cat w the big wide head that sits with its elbow up on the table with a stern grouchy expression and a drink

[amygdalae]

[sojaaoyaar]

"are you okay?" NO i've been the same height since i was 14

[hungwy]

Worst part of living with animals is the night time sloppy licking cleaning noises I'm sorry but I cannot sleep . Please fhcking stop please please olease

[coughloop]

[ultrainfinitepit]

My cat has to wear a cone this week and it made me think of an angel whose halo is a cone.

[ultrainfinitepit]

Local idiot is cone-free and back on his regular sillyzone nonsense.

[numinous-queer]

I am obsessed with the theological implications of this

[galahadwilder]

If Batman and Spider-Man switched rogues galleries none of their villains would last more than ten minutes against the new enemy

[galahadwilder]

Batman takes down all of Spider-Man’s villains with ruthless efficiency and preparation

Batman’s villains are all like “TAKE ME SERIOUSLY DAMMIT” and Spider-Man is like “No 😜”

[azuzulira]

The Joker would have an intense hatred for Spider-Man because Spider-Man is actually funny

[galahadwilder]

That was the exact thought process behind this post

[elithien]

Roller Babe [1/2/3]

[ricetrippycreeps]

[gentlemanbones]

READER BEWEADER YOU’RE IN FOR A SCEADER

[firebendinglemur]

Me: -so after it became apparent that ‘retarded’ had become a term of abuse, educators and psychiatrists switched to other terms like ‘handicapped’ or ‘special needs’ in an attempt to -

George Orwell, whom I’ve dragged forward in time with my arcane powers because I’m lonely and want someone to talk to: You have a telephone in your pocket?  It listens to you all the time?

Me: Never mind about that, the point is, young people now mock each other by sending the wheelchair emoji - that’s a type of electronic heiroglyph - to suggest mental deficiency and shout SPESHUL!!!! while doing offensive imitations of disabled facial expressions and posture.  So any attempt to lexographically make crimethink impossible is pretty much doomed because the meaning of words in everyday conversation can’t be controlled by a dictionary entry, no matter how many Ministry of Truth employees-

Orwell: It reports your location to the telephone company at all times?

[witharsenicsauce]

[havartia]