otro día // otra aventura

I am the vine; you are the branches. Whoever abides in me and I in him, he it is that bears much fruit, for apart from me you can do nothing. - Jesus

[karistali]

aventura

​“Most of us will have no idea where we are going most of the time. And I know that is unsettling. But circumstantial uncertainty also goes by another name: adventure. 

“​Nothing is more unnerving or disorienting than passionately pursuing God. And the sooner we come to terms with that spiritual reality, the more we will enjoy the journey.

"I think those words resonate with one of the deepest longings in the human heart - the longing for adventure. And I’m not sure I could come up with a better description of what it’s like to pursue God." 

- The Wild Goose Chase by Mark Batterson

Looking back over this last year, I’m pretty sure nothing went according to plan. Nothing happened the way I expected it to happen. Nothing went the way I would’ve done it it if I was in control. 

But thank goodness I am not the Author of my story because this year has been incredible. 

There were hard days and there were beautiful days. It was both a year of busyness but also a year of learning to relax and rest. A year of schedules and reorganizing some pieces of my life and also a year of relearning to be spontaneous and to trust the Spirit’s direction. There were days I thought my heart would never stop hurting but also days I felt so alive I could’ve burst! And through it all, I’m learning to enjoy the journey. 

That every day is a new day to enjoy because we aren’t promised tomorrow. 

Every moment is meant to be savored. The journey of our everyday, ordinary lives an adventure.

[karistali]

A few months ago I woke up in the middle of the night with some thoughts about what it meant to be in community. I grabbed my phone, wrote my thoughts down in a Note and fell back asleep. When I woke up I didn’t even remember that it had happened. Later that day I opened my Notes and found this note that I didn’t remember writing. HAHA. So here are my late night thoughts about community.

God didn’t make us to be isolated from everyone and only connected with Him. We were made for community. We need each other. There is nothing wrong with being “dependent” on people. We were made to love God and love people. We could live on an island alone and have sweet fellowship with God but that would only be half fulfilling what God created us for. We will one day be in heaven together with other believers worshiping God. Together is how it was meant to be.

After the fall we isolated ourselves from God and from each other. But that’s not how it was meant to be. I am an independent person. I am my own uniquely created being. But I am most fully myself in the company of people in the presence of God.

5.1.16

[karistali]

see you soon

This morning I was getting ready for work, listening to music like I do most mornings, and in the middle of the song “It Is Well” (the Bethel version) I got a text from a friend that I was hoping I’d never get.

Karis, my dad passed away this morning. 

His dad hasn’t been doing well the last few weeks and I had literally just been praying for him, his family, and his dad and as soon as I saw his name on my phone I knew before opening it what the text was going to say. And I cried. 

And then I sang It is well with my soul and prayed.

And I cried some more and prayed.

Then the song Grace to Grace by Hillsong came on and this part, man...

when I see the cross I see freedom when I see the grave I’ll see Jesus and from death to life I will sing Your praise in the wonder of Your grace

I’m so thankful on days like today that the grave is not the end. That we don’t mourn without hope. That when we see the grave, in that moment, we see Jesus. 

That doesn’t mean the pain is gone, that doesn’t mean my heart isn’t still so heavy and that it doesn’t hurt for his family and so many others who’s loved ones are now with Jesus. 

But while our hearts hurt so much and we long for those we love to still be here with us, we rejoice so much knowing that they are HOME. That it’s not goodbye. 

It’s see you soon.

7.21.16

[mikedonehey]

Good Friday was the Worst Friday

Today is Good Friday. At least, that’s what we call it. But make no mistake, Good Friday was the worst Friday, until Sunday. I’m talking about the absolute worst Friday of all Fridays. The perfect, unblemished Lamb of God drank down our shame, and somehow we have the audacity to call that day “good?”

Think about it. We modernists, frequently ask, “Why do bad things happen to good people?” And yet, on Good Friday, the worst things happened to the best person, and most of us barely blink. But of course, we don’t blink because we live on the other side of Easter. We live in the revelation of sin atoned for and our Messiah’s victory over death. We aren’t nervous as Christ unthinkably marches to his death. We almost scoff at the unbelief of the disciples as they scatter and run. “Don’t they know what’s happening?” We balk. “Don’t they remember Jesus said he’d rise again?” “Don’t they know it’s all gonna be alright?” It’s amazing what we can understand in the rear view.

So this “Good Friday,” I sit here pondering in retrospect just what God was up to, and how, maybe one day, in this life or the next, I’ll be able look back on certain “Worst Fridays” of my own, and see that God was up to something beautiful even then. Maybe one day, all my Worst Fridays will be Good Fridays when I fully see the glorious redemptive power of our God in all its fullness.

I won’t lie, I’ve often been confounded why Jesus felt the need to be dead til Sunday. I’m sure there’s lots of cultural and historical relevance here that I’m not aware of, but I’m serious.   I’ve thought, “Why couldn’t He just have been dead til Saturday? Why make the disciples wait a whole extra day?”

But now, I’m more grateful than ever for that day in between. It’s almost as if God is calling out to us from the pages of the gospel. “See my child,   You’re not the only one who’s felt like the waiting’s gone too long. You’re not alone in your longing for redemption. You’re not alone, even on your worst Friday. Give me enough time, and I can make even this day good.”

[karistali]

I’ve been journaling and praying and thinking for the last few months about how Good Friday was really the absolute worst Friday until Sunday came. And then I stumbled upon this blog post from Mike Donehey and just had to share it. 

Saturday had to have lasted forever for the disciples. 

But the beautiful thing God has been whispering to my soul is that Saturday doesn’t last forever - and sometimes Sunday is closer than we think.

4.12.16

[karistali]

they stood still, looking sad

“And [Jesus] said to them, “What is this conversation that you are holding with each other as you walk?” And they stood still, looking sad. Then one of them, named Cleopas, answered him, “Are you the only visitor to Jerusalem who does not know the things that have happened there in these days?” And he said to them, “What things?” - Luke 24:17-19

Jesus models for us here another important element of transforming community— the ability to simply listen and be with what is without having to fix, give advice or problem solve.

Have you ever been in a situation where what you were going through was so awful or so wonderful you couldn’t find words to describe it? Were you blessed to be around people who knew how to “stand still, looking sad” with you, or did you have to endure inane comments that missed the point or advice that added insult to injury? If you’re the listener in a moment like this, one of the greatest temptations is to rush in and fill up the emptiness with words— of advice (“What really helped me when I lost my job was . . .”), well-meaning attempts at comfort (“I know exactly how you feel”), or filler (“I’m sure God has a plan”). Such words are intended mostly to relieve the awkwardness we ourselves are feeling; they are rarely what the person who is in the throes of pain or upheaval really needs. - Life Together in Christ by Ruth Haley Barton

How often do I rush into “fix-it” mode when someone shares deep personal pain with me instead of pausing to consider what they need most in the moment? 

This chapter in Life Together in Christ has been convicting me so much about how often I try to offer advice or my own personal experience to people when they share things with me in an effort to be helpful. But this chapter just reminded me that in the midst of my own pain and struggles the people I appreciated most were the ones I could pour out my heart to and they would just sit there with me and not try to fix anything or offer advice but just be with me in some of the hardest moments of my life. The people who offered advice were well-meaning but that wasn’t what I needed when my world felt like it was falling apart. I just needed to know that someone was there with me when all I could do was stand there looking sad - not even sure how to explain to them the emotions that were going on in my heart. 

Ruth in the book says that Jesus obviously had His own side of the story to share with them - it was His death and resurrection that they were discussing! But instead of interjecting His thoughts He asks them, not once but twice, to explain and says “What things?” As if He didn’t already know what things! Ha! He knew that they needed to share their grief, their pain, their hopes, their dreams, their broken world first before He ever spoke to them about what He knew of the story. 

Pain and suffering is such an uncomfortable thing and we really just aren’t good at dealing with it and we’re definitely not good at standing in it. When it’s our own pain we try to rush through it and when it’s someone else’s pain we do everything we can to relieve the awkwardness of it for ourselves. But when we try to offer advice or fix it, we really are focusing more on ourselves in that moment instead of the other person. Instead of asking “I” questions, maybe we should start asking “them” questions that take the focus off of ourselves and onto the other person and listen to them instead of fix it.

It involves being present to the person we are listening to, yes, but even more importantly being present to God on the other’s behalf. We are listening for what God’s desire or guidance for that person might be, not what our best advice might be or how we can be most helpful. Furthermore, we are willing to be made aware of what is going on within ourselves so that our own inner urges (to fix, problem solve, alleviate discomfort) don’t get in the way of what God wants to do in the moment.

I definitely am not very good at this but I am praying that the Spirit will help me to stand with people in their pain and not always offer advice first or try to fix everything. There will come a time for that, but not before we have first stood with people in their pain.

3.4.16

[karistali]

give your entire attention

“Give your entire attention to what God is doing right now, and don’t get worked up about what may or may not happen tomorrow. God will help you deal with whatever hard things come up when the time comes.” - Matthew 6:34-35

I love the way The Message puts this. Instead of just saying “Don’t worry about tomorrow” it says to “give your entire attention to what God is doing right now.” I’ve been so sick and overwhelmed lately and this verse has been encouraging my heart to rest and not stress about what is going to happen tomorrow.

When I start to feel overwhelming anxiety about the uncertainty of the future I’ve been repeating that to myself, “Karis, give your entire attention to what God is doing right now.” 

What is God doing today, right now, in my life that I might miss because I’m concerned about the future and what “may or may not happen tomorrow”?

I’m all for dreaming big dreams and thinking about the future and working towards goals but there is a difference between trusting God with the future and worrying about the future. 

So here’s to giving my entire attention to what God is doing right now.

2.11.16

[karistali]

NOTE: I wrote this over a year ago and just never posted it. So here goes.

There are so many hard things that happen in life. So much pain, so much hurt. It’s inevitable. I don’t know of anyone who has made it through life without hardships. 

I was recently watching the new Cinderella movie and thinking about the contrast between Cinderella and her step-mother at the end of it. They both have lost so much. So many loved ones, so many lost dreams. But Cinderella took courage and treated the world with kindness and her step-mother became bitter and hardened and treated the world with hate.

This hit me so powerfully because recently going through a really hard season of my life I was crying in my room, just sobbing telling my roommate Audra that I just wanted to stop feeling. That I was tired of my heart hurting and I was tired of caring. I wished that my heart was harder so that I never hurt again because it was just too painful to care so deeply about life, about people, about anything. But as I re-watched this movie, I realized I didn’t want to become the step-mother. I don’t want to become hardened towards the world and not feel love - even if at times my heart unbearably hurts. I don’t want to ever become hardened or bitter towards the world or people because of any pain that happens in life. I want to respond with kindness even in the midst of pain and I want to respond with love instead of hate. I want to take courage. 

It reminds me of this scene in Harry Potter and the Order of the Phoenix:

“I DON'T CARE!" Harry yelled at them, snatching up a lunascope and throwing it into the fireplace. "I'VE HAD ENOUGH, I'VE SEEN ENOUGH, I WANT OUT, I WANT IT TO END, I DON'T CARE ANYMORE!" "You do care," said Dumbledore. He had not flinched or made a single move to stop Harry demolishing his office. His expression was calm, almost detached. "You care so much you feel as though you will bleed to death with the pain of it.” 

That’s how I felt.

I realized I did care even as I cried out that I didn’t. I cared so much that I felt like I was going to bleed to death with the pain of it all and that was really scary. 

It takes courage to care. 

It takes courage to be kind even in the midst of intense pain. 

And I’m praying that God will help me to take courage even in the midst of it.

What Jesus tells the disciples on the last night He was with them keeps resounding in my spirit:

“I’ve told you all this so that trusting me, you will be unshakable and assured, deeply at peace. In this godless world you will continue to experience difficulties. But take heart! I’ve conquered the world.”

- John 16:33 (MSG)

Take heart - literally in the original Greek language it means “take courage.” Even though in this world there will always be difficulties, pain, hardship, heartbreak, this is how I can chose daily to have courage - because Jesus has conquered the world.

2.12.16

[karistali]

my mom

Every year I think of more memories of my Mom and realize how much of my life has been shaped by her life and how much of who I am today is because of how she lived her life and how I have consciously and subconsciously imitated her. I don’t think she knew the impact she was having on my life or the lives of those around her by the little things she did. As the last few years have gone by, there have been so many things that have sparked memories of my Mom that I realized were really defining moments for me or just have shaped who I am. No words or stories can do justice to describe her or to capture who she was, but I thought I’d share some of these memories of her. 

My Mom and Dad would pray for each of us every night before we went to bed and one prayer specifically I remember Mom praying was from Numbers 6:24-26, “The Lord bless you and keep you; the Lord make his face shine on you and be gracious to you; the Lord turn his face toward you and give you peace.” I will always remember laying in bed and Mom saying “May the Lord bless you and keep you and make His face shine upon you.”

I remember when I was a little girl maybe 8 or 9, being scared of something one night and she told me that any time I was scared to just say “Jesus” because there was power in just saying His name. Still to this day when I’m afraid or scared or anxious about anything sometimes I’ll just repeat His name over and over again.

My Mom would always spontaneously pray in the middle of conversations. We would be talking about something or maybe I would be asking her opinion about something or maybe even telling her I wasn’t feeling well and in the midst of the conversation there probably would be a pause, and then Mom would start ... “Lord, give Karis wisdom as she makes this decision.” “Lord, heal Karis and may she feel healthy and well.” She wasn’t afraid of awkward silences or even pausing in prayer to listen. She prayed like she was having a conversation and I am forever grateful for her modeling a life of praying without ceasing with God.

When I would wake up in the morning I always knew that I would find my Mom in her bed reading her Bible, or even at night when I would go to sleep, I would find her in her bed reading. She taught me by her life to love spending time with the Lord.  

A picture is worth a thousand words and any picture you will find of my Mom more likely than not is a picture of her beautiful smile. My Mom lit up the room with her smile and instantly made people feel comfortable with her presence. My memories of her involve her smiling and laughing and the way she instantly made my friends feel loved. She used to always say that she didn’t feel like she could disciple anyone or didn’t feel like she had anything to offer people. Yet the depth of her relationship with Jesus just overflowed out of her and she had so much more to offer people of the riches of the glory of God than she thought.

I have memories of her as a sponsor my Freshman year of high school when we went to CIY. And everyone called her “Muscles” because we had to climb SO many hills to get anywhere and when everyone was complaining about how they couldn’t go on, she was the cheerleader saying “Come on guys! You can do it. Just a little more.” And we’d get to the top and she’d be the only one who wasn’t on the ground dying.

The day I left for Liberty, she stayed at home while my Dad drove me out to Virginia. But we had only gotten a few miles before I get a call from her telling us we had to come back because she hadn’t gotten to give me a kiss goodbye. She was in the car already driving when she called to come meet us on the road in the country. I’ll never forget that as we stopped the cars she ran towards me crying and kissing me all over my face telling me how much she loved me and how all she could think about as we had driven away was how she hadn’t kissed her baby girl goodbye. It was one of the few moments in my life I ever saw my Mom cry and it was beautiful.

Her relationship with the Lord was beautiful. Jesus was her best friend and as I consider how my relationship with God has grown and been formed over the years, I know that Jesus is my best friend because both her and my Dad taught me through the example they set that Jesus could be my best friend. I have never doubted the existence of God although I have questioned Him about other things and wrestled with Him over a lot of “why?” questions that I wanted answers to. It is foreign to me to question the existence of someone I have literally walked with my entire life. My Mom wrote this on her blog just weeks before she died, “Being in a situation like this, where death could happen at any time, I have no worries for myself if that happens. I’ve spent so much time with Jesus already that it’ll be like going home to see my friend.” Those weren’t just words that she wrote but a lifestyle that both my parents lived. Because of the way they modeled this for me, God to me is not a foreign idea or a vague abstract concept but a personal friend who loves her and loves me and loves you more than we can even possibly fathom.

Then there are the countless times she took us to homeschool events and on field trips. She made sure that we got to see and do everything and she was the best Mom/Teacher we could’ve ever had. Her and my Dad were both awesome at teaching us about everything and even if they didn’t know the answer, they would find out so that they could teach us.

And then there were the non-glamorous moments of being a Mom that she did without ever complaining. I don’t even know how many meals she cooked for us or how many loads of laundry she did. I remember a year or two ago I was watching my siblings and it seemed like as soon as I was done making breakfast and cleaning up, it was time for lunch. And as soon as lunch was done, I did all the laundry and then it was time for dinner. And then it was time for bed and then repeat the next day. And yet that was what she did for all of us. Every day. For my whole life. She was amazing.

[karistali]

Gandalf: I am looking for someone to share in an adventure that I am arranging, and it’s very difficult to find anyone.
Bilbo: I should think so — in these parts! We are plain quiet folk and have no use for adventures. Nasty disturbing uncomfortable things! Make you late for dinner! // So begins the classic adventure of Bilbo Baggins in The Hobbit. I’ve been learning to see my life as a grand adventure, full of excitement, breath taking views, far off places, friendship, love, and sacrifice - but also uncomfortable things like scary dragons, extreme risks, long roads, and difficulties. Praying and dreaming about a community of Young Adults who will say yes to growing in fearlessness as we navigate together the grand adventure that is life. 8.5.16 #crafts #dailyreminders #adventures #youngandFEARLESS #eastviewyoungadults

[karistali]

When your friends know you too well…. 

Friend: *finds cell phone at event* Karis, is this your phone? 

Me: YES! Thank you! How’d you know it was mine?

Friend: Well, there is a picture of a bonfire as the background…

[adamyoungofficial]

Galatians 1:10

From time to time, it’s easy for me to subconsciously slip into desiring the approval of people more than I ought, and when I find myself putting that desire before my longing to please, and more importantly, love God – I realize I need a wake up call. When I acknowledge this and take action, it becomes so evidently clear that Jesus is unfathomably more satisfying and fulfilling than anything this world can offer, and thus I become so overwhelmed by the grace and glory of God, I can barely breathe. It is then I sense the Holy Spirit at work in my heart and I feel an immense joy so pure and beautifully satisfying, I am left speechless. By the knowledge that Christ loved you and I before we drew our first breaths, I cannot even describe how rewarding it is to love Him in return.

[karistali]

If you haven't already seen this, definitely check it out!! http://stream.bethelmusic.com/have-it-all/ || You don't have to come, but You always do. You show up in the splendor and You change the whole room. You didn't have to come, but You wanted to. You're right here in Your splendor, standing right here in this room, I see the fire in Your eyes, I see the mercy in Your smile, I feel the fury of Your love all around us. Cause you don't have to come, but You always do. || Thank You by Bethel 3.4.16

[karistali]

So so blessed by Worship & Engage last night. It was much needed and refreshing to my spirit to be in the Presence of the Lord with so many other Young Adults. #worshipandengage #psalm100 #edgegroups

[twloha]

“And when we deny the value of our story, we stop fighting to make it heard.” - Brit Barkholtz, “The Power of Your Story”

[karistali]

It's a perfect night to hang out in a hammock. #hammock #beautifulsummernights #sunday

[tough-lass]

OUAT Season 4 finale / Tangled

A few days ago I got this ask about the possibility of having some CS tangled parallels in the season finale. I am just so happy we got so many of them :)

[twloha]

“I choose to stand strong when my knees shake and tears fill my eyes.” - Carissa Magras, “Freedom From Fear”