KittyKat

''It's no use going back to yesterday, because I was a different person then.'' ~Lewis Carroll

[katiekat-1997]

Honestly one of the hardest struggles is taking the batteries from your vibrator so you can make your remote work temporarily.

[relatablepoetryandquotes]

“An intellectual says a simple thing in a hard way. An artist says a hard thing in a simple way.” - Charles Bukowski

[katiekat-1997]

I was having a good day last week, very enlightening moment. I wrote nothing but positive things on here. What happened when I tried to post it? My computer froze and nothing was saved...smh. Where am I now? Oh my gosh, I got pulled over Wednesday on my way home from work. Why? because I never changed my plates, didn't know they were expired. Now I have a driving while revoked on top of all my other court things. Sets me back a month in drug court, I can't drive anymore so I'm fucked as far as my job that's an hour away and the one here in town texted to tell me that they don't have the hours to give right now and when they need someone they will let me know. So might life has escaladed dramatically in the last few days, but what else do I expect. It's fine.

[katiekat-1997]

When in doubt take a fucking bath. I feel like I'm one of those helpless people having a new crisis everyday, in other words I'm weak. God why did you bless me this way, the thing that kills me is I have every trait to be a strong independent woman yet I allow these men to have control of my life while I experience the sense of no control. I have control issues and abandonment issues, this is what a year of counseling has taught. As I write this you know what goes through my head? No one gives a rats ass about you're personally issues, man up mother fucker damn. This is the whole problem, I'm spiraling and I don't know how to get a grip. My brain is scrambled eggs.

At this point you probably think I'm some sad sack of shit with no life. No worries, you follow my story long enough you will learn how my life is one giant soap opera I yearn to escape. Right now I bide my time and slowly lose my mind and try not to spiral. Last time I spiraled it resulted in the totaling of my car, a DWI charge along with a possession charge. Yep. Felon over here just waiting to get off this fucking probation... why? So we can fuck up again? God I need to get out of my head, if someone can explain the point to all this bullshit we call life, give me a call.  

Okay slight mental break for a moment *deep breath* I'm back. "cool calm collected" the motto I strive for in life. Unfortunately I tend to show my cracks, I hate that. Then I wonder if it's really that bad of a trait? As opposed to the latter, a bitter closed up person. Somehow I'm both at the same time. Would it surprise you to hear I've graduated High School, I currently attend college classes with a 4.0 gpa, and the magic of accomplishing any goal I set my mind to? Don't believe me? Well I suppose that's fine, I don't need you to believe me. Now I'm being cocky, but there's no need for a potential reader to assume I'm a rebellious teen with purple hair or white trash 24 year old with 6 kids. Naw that's not me, I'm single, 20 and childless. I'm alone... always alone, I hate being alone.... I hate who I am most of the time. Just wish I could find an anchor in life to keep me steady because mine somehow keep releasing me from their grip, allowing me to drown until I find a new island. I don't want an island, make me a fucking mermaid.

[katiekat-1997]

No matter how bad you're day gets, the second I fall asleep and wake up to a new day, I am renewed. All my problems become small, taking on a new perspective. Today I realize that this world is huge and even the mistakes I've made throughout the last few years will fade away. Thankfully we aren't stuck with a sign on our back listing all our wrong doings, we can move on from those and build ourselves up so much that all those things become small ants in the distance. Okay motivational words are spoken and now cut through the bullshit, I have two interviews tomorrow. This Podunk town is taking me nowhere I hope a job in the city will bring new opportunities and connects to get the hell away. I've been stuck way too long In the same place. When you pay no bills and still don't have enough money to pay you're bills because you're job sucks that bad you know it's time to move on. Time to say good-bye to the Pizza Slut :P 

[katiekat-1997]

As a female we are naturally crazy. It's called hormones. So why is it that every male is just so astounded when we act irrational? YOU MAKE ME THIS WAY YOU FUCK. Can you not just accept that and apologize for something you probably didn't do, just make me happy please. Is that so hard. Now when men throw tantrums, they just refuse to believe they're being moody and they especially refuse to talk about it. Seems to be that they're either some sappy fuck that gets all in his feelings or some brood that can't allow himself to talk about it, yet it always comes back to the female. Why? Because our hormones remember. Whatever, I'm beginning to resent the male species more and more everyday. Maybe I can learn to be okay single.... maybe not. I don't tend to do well alone. I want to note I am of sound mind at this time.

Why am I going on some rant about hormones and nonsense? My roommate, god some life advice don't have sexual intercourse with you're roommate, decided to be a fucking prick this morning. I go in his room for a cigarette and he gets all handsy, laughs and fun. I go outside, smoke said cigarette and by the time I come back he's in asshole mode. Told me to leave because he was trying to sleep and MY BREATHING WAS TOO LOUD. Are you fucking serious?!?! The only explanation for his five minute mood swing is due to his sappy fuck of a friend who decided to catch feelings for me, wanting to go home. In his drunken state poor guy got his feelings hurt because I wouldn't entertain him the way he pleased. I have managed to be annoyed all day, I've only been talking to this boy for a month and a half. CALM YOURSELF SHIT. Whatever, remember I'm the irrational, hormonal one even off my period. Comes with the territory of having a vagina right?

[autumncozy]

[katiekat-1997]

Why do I have such an infatuation with small alleyways and fall?

[teenagerposts]

[katiekat-1997]

Been dealing with this one a lot and it still bothers me, I hate when people make you feel like it was your fault....

[katiekat-1997]

Breakfast: 1/2 cup of greek yogurt, 1/2 cup blueberries

Snack: 1/4 cup of peanuts

Lunch: Two eggs and a vegetable

Snack: Another vegetable

Dinner: Can of tuna with a vegetable

[katiekat-1997]

June 29

It's the weirdest thing to reconnect with old friends. It's also one of the coolest things. That feeling when you haven't talked to someone in so long and you don't know where you stand with that person and then you hang out and their down to just chill and talk and you don't have to be the entertainment to capture their attention. When you're worthy of that persons time even though they could be do so many better things like sleeping in bed. Those moments make me feel like I'm worth something, that my presence alone is enough for them lmao just kidding but It does feel good and it's fun feeling important. Taking that risk to message someone you've barely talked to throughout high school, asking if their just down to chill... seriously you have to try it sometime, it's hella fun. I think I'm becoming a friend hoarder :)

[katiekat-1997]

Regret...

How do you move past regret? I guess just say forget about it and move on. Learn from your mistakes and allow them to make you a better person. It is what it is and you can't change what you have and haven't done. You can't go back and dwelling only keeps you in one place to never move forward and better yourself. Because truth is no matter how bad the situation seems life is so much bigger than whatever you're going through! There's so much more, so make a goal and stick to it. Leave behind the bullshit and envision the future you want and stick to the mother fucking goal! Because you're worth it so never settle.... 

[katiekat-1997]

View this post on Instagram

How I fall asleep 😴 lol

[katiekat-1997]

Improvement ig 😏 #baby #face

[katiekat-1997]

My Pizza Hut Fox! Btw drawing with chalk is way harder than it seems 😬😬😬 #pizza hut #fox

[gosh]

I care not how humble your bookshelf may be, or how lonely the room which it adorns. Close the door of that room behind you, shut off with it all the cares of the outer world, plunge back into the soothing company of the great dead, and then you are through the magic portal into that fair land whither worry and vexation can follow you no more. You have left all that is vulgar and all that is sordid behind you. There stand your noble, silent comrades, waiting in their ranks. Pass your eye down their files. Choose your man. And then you have but to hold up your hand to him and away you go together into dreamland.

Arthur Conan Doyle, Through The Magic Door (via teenager90s) <3

[littleflower96-deactivated20150]

[atypicalhipstaa]