Kawaii-bie

[kawaiibie]

I’m lying awake knowing that this feeling won’t last forever… and just trying to savour it. I know I should be asleep but… I just want to escape.

[kawaiibie]

Yesterday was another crazy day. We talked on the phone for over 4 hours. Talking about anything and everything. Laughing, musing, sharing.

You said that since we reconnected, you’ve been feeling better in yourself. Feeling happier, more confident. You thanked me for helping you feel more like yourself, and it made me so happy to hear that.

I admire so much the work you have done to become the man you are today. That wild side of you, I love it. So full of life and energy. But hearing your journey to a more content place makes me so happy.

Your writing is so beautiful, I hope you never stop. I’ll always be here encouraging you regardless. We both have art to share with the world, maybe, just maybe we can support and inspire each other.

[kawaiibie]

Today I realised… just how much time I truly have. Here in this Earth, in this mind and body. It’s both an eternity, and only a moment.

Standing alone, in the silence, I feel all of the dreams and hopes and fears I’ve ever had swirling like coloured sand caught in a vortex. If only I could capture a single piece with my hands. It all just seems to… slip away.

Am I too weak? To weak to truly choose a dream to follow, to forge for myself.

Every fantasy that I have lost myself within, was always sweeter. So perhaps it’s time to step out of the fantasy and into my reality.

Perhaps it is the sensations I feel when I place myself into those imagined moments, that feel more real than real life.

The sun shining across the shire, where friends and family all enjoy a simple beautiful life together.

The gentle wind on the face of the brave adventurer as he reaches a peak, and looks out across the horizon. Where will it lead?

The enveloping love of two characters, who are written for each other. Despite their trials, we know that they are bound together.

Perhaps we should stop waiting for the author to write the next chapter. When we can take the pen ourselves. Claim our fears, hold them gently, and let them come along.

[kawaiibie]

Last night we had our first phone call. It was so much fun, how comfortable we felt just talking for 2 hours. Chatting, flirting, laughing.

We talked about all sorts, you told me you wanted to hear me gulp down my water…. I could not resist but do what you told me.

We talked about games, gamers in relationships and you said how happy it would make you to share all of your interests with someone like that.

We discussed your work, and how you just want to be writing. I said I’d help however I can.

You told me “I haven’t felt this way when talking to a woman for the longest time”. The way I felt, the way I smiled when you said those words. I wish I could have captured some of the things you said.

You told me you feel excited to see my future unfold. You told me how much you admire me, my strength, my intelligence, my inner work. My ability to adapt and become stronger.

You’re right of course, I am spiritually indestructible. I believe that now and that is why I am a better person than I was.

I’m not sure anyone else has ever said such things to me. I felt like… you wanted me, but all of me. Not just my body, not just my desire, not just my mind but all at once.

I am still a little guarded, only because I know how easy it would be surrender completely to you, and oh, believe me I want to.

But this time around, I need to let you earn my deepest affections. Beyond sex, beyond admiration…

You know why you feel so good around me?

Because I’ve admired you, from the first moment we met. Every time I spent time with you, I slowly wanted you more.

Because I accept all parts of you, without judgement. As I do with everyone but especially you.

Because I would never try to change you.

Because I can’t be bothered with bullshit, life is too short and I just like to cleave to the heart of matters.

Because we share so many, many thoughts, interests, beliefs. A way of thinking.

Because I am a fucking kinky, hungry, adventurous, passionate girl who wants to be pushed, stretched and challenged.

A good girl. Who does as she’s told. But rebels just enough to keep things interesting.

[leave-me-colourless]

[granny-core]

Growing your own vegetables really makes you appreciate the time it takes to actually grow food. After caring for my carrots for five or six months, I would never toss a single one of them! Making oneself familiar with the process of growing veggies is a great way to change attitudes toward food waste I think, and also learning a greater appreciation for what food you have. 🥦🥕🌽🍅

[kawaiibie]

I am a cute little granny inside tbh 💖

[owakita]

Candy Land

Prints: society6.com/elorap

Follow me on Twitter and Instagram

@Owakita_

[kawaiibie]

One of my favorite pictures from Japan this year. I’ll be uploading all of my photos soon so follow for more <3 

This day was actually super hard for me because I was sick and the kimono was really uncomfortable. But we reached the temple at the perfect time just as the sun was going down. I can’t wait to be back in Kyoto again.

[kawaiibie]

I actually went to Japan. It went so fast I find it hard to believe sometimes.

[kawaiibie]

Life’s too short not to be honest. I’d rather be a little weird.

[kawaiibie]

If you were a song, what would you be?

[danger]

[kawaiibie]

Souls

Sometimes I don’t know if anyone will ever be able to reach the depths off my soul. Maybe I am lost there myself, unaware that I am here nor there.

One of the thinkers, the dreamers. What if I spend my life dreaming? Would I live a life like everyone else? Die with so many dreams unfulfilled?

So many loves unloved. So many thoughts unheard.

Or maybe we are all just whispers on the wind, passing through. Most of us take a leaf, perhaps. Rustle a little... a rare few will carve a lasting mark on the land.

But isn’t it that impermanent nature that makes life beautiful? That’s makes us precious, no matter how simple. How empty. How ordinary.

The way a billion stars move and die and are reborn, we fall together from a moment of love. A billion strands of DNA, an accidental miracle of unbelievable perfection.

[maryokuyummy]

[traverse-our-universe]

More stars than grains of sand 

Cannon Beach, OR. Michael Matti on Flickr

[kawaiibie]

Before it began I suppose we were broken

My words were only wishes on my lips, unspoken

Moans though less deep than my gaze, a token

of my gratitude, oh the passion you'd awoken

in me, out.

Scream, shout.

Push and pull but never doubt,

I want you.

Again,

And again,

And again...

[painfulblisss]