Being Tired is Part of The Contract

Hi, I'm Kayo, adult, I'm tired 24/7, everythings queued, if u wanna see my art go check out @kayohisei

[succubusboyfriend]

you have permission to pick that 2 year old "abandoned" project back up. it's not mad at you for setting it aside. and maybe time and distance have helped ease or erase the things that made you put it down in the first place.

[dream-thunder]

Twinkle twinkle little star

[tvguts]

every single time time i try to check facebook marketplace for furniture i get jumpscared by this (admittedly sick) custom baljeet coffee table

[cometcrystal]

out of the backyard gang baljeet is one of the worst to make into a coffee table. ferb would also be pretty bad. phineas and isabella would be mid because they have those bigass heads but the skinny bodies. might be worse than baljeet and ferb if you're a person who cares about symmetry. buford would objectively make the best coffee table because his silhouette has the most evenly-spaced surface area. now if you wanna talk about pnf characters in general i think pet mode perry would be the best coffee table out of all of them

[symbolblue]

love this kinda post where you have to have seen a different specific post for it to make any sense at all

[wormsdyke]

it would be so nice if you were allowed to start working on projects before you hit the 12 hour until deadline mark but sadly it’s not possible with our current technology. scientists are hard at work but for now this is one of the limitations we must face as a people

[ryan-sometimes]

I think it's so funny how we bred JOBS into dogs. I have two shih tzus and they were bred to be lap dogs. All they care about is looking cute and cuddling with people. Meanwhile my grandma has a border collie and that dog needs to feel so useful all the time, he acts like he will pass away if he doesn't have a job to do constantly

[halomancer]

On one hand this is extremely fucking funny, but on the other hand, it really boggles my mind how many people punish their dogs for just… doing the thing they were bred to do.

Your husky isn’t “hyperactive”, it’s bred to pull sleds for 8 hours straight and you have it in a 400 sq ft yard.

Your English sheepdog isn’t “pushy”, it’s bred to herd sheep, and you have neither to space nor the herd to allow it.

Your terrier isn’t “nippy”, it’s bred to kill rats and your hamster looks a hell of a lot like one.

Your Catahoula isn’t “mean to animals”, it’s bred to hunt any and all animals smaller than it, and you didn’t acclimate it to your cat.

Your Lhasa Apso isn’t “yappy”, it’s bred to bark at any tiny noise and alert watchmen to intruders

Like Jesus Christ, if you can’t provide an environment where your dog can’t fulfill its literal life purpose, maybe?? Don’t get that dog??? And if you do, maybe know the breed characteristics so you can redirect those traits into more constructive outlets????

[lemonsharks]

Both your most common doodle's parts (labra and golden) want to hunt and retrieve water birds so the best suggestion I can give y'all is congratulations on your new duck hunting hobby.

[safetytank]

#people will overlook the perfect breeds to suit their needs based on just their looks#and get a work dog because it looks cool

[queerb]

tags from @gnarlystarships because YEAH

[maggiedeshiboux]

@gallusrostromegalus

[gallusrostromegalus]

Any time someone sees Herschel and says "AWWW I want a Corgi <3" (because he is Very Cute (TM)), I immediately reply: "Do not get a Corgi unless you have a job for it to do. They were bred to bully livestock across the hills of Wales. This is basically a Border Collie that knows he is cute enough to get away with murder. If you get one and it doesn't have a job, it will apply its livestock-bullying instincts to YOU. Herschel's job specifically is to help manage my crippling ADHD, because I don't have a bull for him to micromanage." This gets me odd looks at the home depot but it does get the point across.

[maidslime]

You will one day become disabled. Not if. It's a when. You will one day rely on someone for help in your day to day life. Whether it be now or when you're old, it'll happen. It's not an if. It's a when. This will happen.

[botanyshitposts]

a really funny thing about working with seeds in a day to day capacity is that you really need the seeds to stay in one place at any given moment, and the seeds disagree. so it’s just like, seeds end up on the floor. seeds end up on the desk. seeds appear in the crack between the glass plate of the microscope stage and its surrounding metal casing. seeds are around the dumpster outside. sweeping up seeds, patching up bags of seeds, picking seeds off your clothes and from between keyboard keys, very carefully transferring seeds into containers less likely to cause catastrophe should the seeds breach containment, like it’s just an uphill battle built into the work. almost as if the seeds are hyperevolved to disperse themselves or something

[sreegs]

I usually disable all the health stuff in the iPhone Health app but i opened it today check something completely unrelated when i decided to scroll down the "All Health Data" section and i've apparently fallen down a lot?? on one day in January 2015 in particular

[sreegs]

scale time

the number above is 1.00e81 (1 with 81 zeros).

There's 86,400 seconds in a day. A femtosecond is one quadrillionth of a second. there are 8.64e19 femtoseconds in a day. i would have to fall down at least 1e61 times per quadrillionth of a second to reach that number

[sreegs]

apparently a fall creates 2-4kN of force so lets split the difference and say 3kN so thats 3e81 kN of cumulative force applied over a 24 hour period to roughly, i dunno a square meter or two. i have no idea how to quantify that but im pretty sure that's an erosive force that can move mountains

presuming im invincible, i dont think the elasticity of like, granite can even keep up with the frequency of the impact. interesting conundrum

[sreegs]

i failed to consider the speed involved here in order to fall 1e81 times in a 24h period.

i'm 178cm tall, and in order to fall repeatedly, you have to get back up again (isnt there a song about this?) so one complete fall cycle is 356 cm, or 0.00356 km.

i traveled 0.00356km 1e81 times so thats 3.56e78 km/day, so 86400 seconds in a day thats 4.12037037037e73 km/sec.

i have absolutlely annihilated everything and broken the speed of light, which is a measly 299,792.458 km/sec. everything is gone. everything.

[dragon-in-a-fez]

I get knocked down

but I get up again

10^81 times

[shencomix]

[shencomix]

[shencomix]

[cleo-fox]

Writing tips:

“You feel the bulge in his pants” - implies that you are feeling some guy’s penis, may be sexy depending on context

“You feel the bugle in his pants” - implies that this guy has a military horn in his pants, invites confusing questions like why does he have that and how big are his pockets

[maple-seed]

Both options convey that he's horny

[cleo-fox]

How dare you be funnier than me on my own post

[aropride]

if your animal is lying on the floor, furniture etc, it’s important to take a picture of them. then, if they move or shift in any way, it’s important to take another picture. with this technique, you can take many pictures of your animal

[marian-devotee]

I took my little brother (autistic, mostly non verbal) out and he was using his voice keyboard to tell me something, and this little boy (maybe 4 or 5?) heard him and asked me "Is he a robot??" I tried to explain to him that no, he isn't a robot, he just communicates differently, but my darling brother was in the background max volume "I am robot I am robot I am robot I am robot"

[marian-devotee]

My little brother insisted if I was going to post about him, he wanted a cut of the "profits". When I explained to him that Tumblr isn't monetized, and is pretty pointless, he and my older brother pointed out that he'd still be bringing me "fame and notoriety" if the post got "big". So we agreed, if the post hit 10k notes, which seemed extremely farfetched and silly at the time, I'd take my little brother out for sushi (his favorite food) and let him eat as much as he wants.

I guess God wanted the little robot to enjoy some sushi 🍣 🥲

[thetruerarkher]

[violentoffender]

[daysleftofsecondterm]

I hope this guy’s final wishes get honoured

[zmpl]

it’s funny how we’re getting to the point in the AI lifespan where you can feel the desperation from tech companies to have you use their AI features. instagram has moved their AI effects to the top of the menu when you’re creating a post for your story, exactly where the draw/edit button used to be. gmail is creating one-click AI-generated replies right before you open up the text box. spotify put a beta AI playlist generator on the front page that looks just like a search bar so all of their users accidentally click on it when they go to search for a song.

tech companies are shaking in their boots trying to prove to shareholders that their investment in AI is worth it, to the point where they’re tricking their users into using the AI features even for a split second in order to fudge the numbers. like awww is your little environment-destroying toy not wielding the results you hoped for? so sad!

[imjunebitch]

actually fucking disgusting that glasses cost any money like if you actually think about it for more than a few seconds it is so unconscionably inhumane. this goes for things like insulin and mobility aids and hearing aids too ofc but fuck man, fucking glasses? the thing you need to fucking see? its genuinely sickening and inhumanly evil that those cost ANYTHING.

[pjackk]

Bon giorno it is 10 am for the beutiful fashionistas of italia right now perfect time for a brunch with handsome loved onws

[hannahp0calypse]

pjackk its 2 in the morning on a friday the fashionistas are asleep and/or drunk

[pjackk]

Can i just have a win for the first time in my entire life