Yeah, it was a hungry little, like, scrappy coyote that just wanted to hump and he was in heat, and just wanted to, you know, whimper away. (..) I wanted Shane to be a little coyote, you know, a little horny little mutt - Hudson Williams
PUT YOUR BEARD IN MY MOUTH

#extradirty
Cosimo Galluzzi
wallacepolsom
"I'm Dorothy Gale from Kansas"
ojovivo
trying on a metaphor
occasionally subtle
will byers stan first human second
Today's Document

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taylor price
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Claire Keane
Peter Solarz

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blake kathryn

oozey mess
One Nice Bug Per Day

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@kc12344325
Yeah, it was a hungry little, like, scrappy coyote that just wanted to hump and he was in heat, and just wanted to, you know, whimper away. (..) I wanted Shane to be a little coyote, you know, a little horny little mutt - Hudson Williams
ilya finds out cliff fans online are calling themselves cliffnation and he never lets it go. he is telling people he has dual citizenship: russia and cliffnation. he actually can’t get a speeding ticket because he has diplomatic immunity as an ambassador of cliffnation. all i do is win is the national anthem. the capital is marleauville.
im writing my husbands visa application for him to stay long term in my country and now im thinking about shane who is very carefully compiling all the evidence of their genuine and continuing relationship and making a really nice PowerPoint presentation that includes highlights of their biggest hits against each other on the ice and Canadian immigration is like look we don’t need your weird kink shit we believe you’re together no one would actively do whatever tf you’re doing together, here’s his citizenship pls leave our office immediately
shane has just turned his laptop around to present slide one when the immigration office is like “no need. we believe you. here’s your visa!”. and shane is so upset that all his hard-earned work was for nothing that ilya drives them home and sits himself down on the couch and makes shane present it to him and anya
you know how hockey players do that thing where they automatically hug someone from the other team so that nobody else jumps in when there's a fight?
i like to imagine montreal vs. ottawa game days post-the long game consist of hayden and shane very solemnly doing that every two minutes
I’m so torn on Hayden’s sex life because on one hand it’s funny to imagine a very vanilla Hayden who’s baffled by Shane’s sex life but on the other hand…it’s also funny to imagine a Hayden who sees a douche at Shane’s place and is like “Buddy! Lily pegs you too? How big’s your dildo? We’ve been kinda thinking of upgrading to a bigger one and—“ and Shane’s just sitting there short circuiting
okay but the difference in best friend dynamics between ilya/cliff and shane/hayden truly delights me
ilya and cliff are lovingly getting in each other's faces telling each other to get FUCKED <3 and meanwhile shane and hayden are running bits with transatlantic accents and jokes about mpreg
Hayden and Ilya’s relationship is peak comedy because Hayden will be like “yeah I fucking hate that guy he’s a menace” but if you asked him “then why do you let him take care of your kids” he’ll look at you like you’re stupid. “Ilya is an annoying menace who is incessantly mean to me” and “Ilya is a good partner for Shane who can be trusted around my children and my wife who all love him” are two completely non-conflicting statements in his mind
hollanov + sharing clothes
there is so much to unpack in this clip
everyone making fun of hollanov for not having the domestic wherewithal that scott hunter does but you have to remember that hunter is five million years old and has probably been looking to settle down since before the new millennium while shane just discovered what being gay is and ilya just discovered the concept of being in a relationship
something i haven’t seen anyone mention yet is shane ‘autism’ hollander keeps hiring people to help him be normal
oh hollander you have too many pillows and his heart probably drops because what do you MEAN that’s too many, ilya, i hired someone who knows The Rules Of House Appearance and they approved this. this is Rules Approved
oh you look flashy at the bar in tampa and ilya laughs at him for getting a stylist and excuse ME, ilya, but this outfit is Rules Approved by someone who knows The Rules Of Outfit Appearance, Personally. is Rules Okayed. it’s a Good Outfit™️
Ilya wondered if Rose Landry would be joining Shane in Florida for the All-Star Game. He wondered if Rose Landry would be accompanying Shane to everything from now on. Maybe they would get married. For the first time ever, Ilya was not looking forward to the All-Star Game.
.ninety-one :)
#the vampire loustat // 3x02
Do vampires have group chats? ❤️🩹🧛🏻♂️🧛🏾♀️🧛🏽♂️❤️🩹