Hello! Haven't been on tumblr for a couple of months,so thought I'd give an update about my life now. Yesterday,I lost my nan. It hasn't quite sunk in yet. She meant so much to me. She's not in a better place because she's not here with her family anymore. She's gone,forever. I'll never see her again,and that hurts like fuck. Her funeral is in about a week,I'm going to hold my head up high and give her the best send off,as she deserved the best and nothing but the best. R.I.P I'm still not talking to my dad. No contact at all,so he's clearly doing fine without me. It hurts me so much that your own flesh and blood could just disown you for no reason. I have lost a lot of my confidence and I do blame that on my dad. But he has no idea how much I need him. It's just difficult to know that I loved him with all my heart,and he didn't love me one little bit. I would like to mention about Casey. Fell in love with him nearly three years ago. We were together but things just got out of hand so we split up about two years ago. We then got back in contact with each other and since then we had become stronger than ever,but we were not together. Yeah,we had our ups and downs,but we got through it. But it now breaks my heart as we don't talk anymore due to reasons that got out of control. I'll always love him,I know that for sure. I always used to think we'd end up together forever,but things obviously weren't meant to turn out that way. What he did say to me though was...'if it all falls apart,I want you to know that the only dream that mattered came true. my dream was that i was loved by you'. Me and him were meant to be I know we were,but there's just so many complications. I don't know how he feels anymore. I cry because I miss him. I smile because of the memories we had. I love him with all my heart,forever and always,to the moon and back.
