kelb

they/he | 26 | mostly pwhl with a soupçon of pitt

[amnesiaguy]

best m/f dynamic is a flamboyant bisexual show-off desperately in love with an extremely practical girl who’s difficult to impress 🤩

[varijacija]

[tom-spanks]

remember when u were like 11 and the only thing u wanted was a lava lamp

[scumfuckus]

[yiffpunk]

[heatseekingbehavior]

[nonbinarybeartrade]

[falconfate]

Yeah, I’d have killed a man for this bedroom as a kid

[sanguinaryrot]

“go to hell” is basic. “i hope your favorite team recruits britta curl-salemme” is smart. it’s possible. it’s terrifying.

[grantmentis]

All this talk about PWHL protection lists but who’s protecting my sanity. Makes you think.

[newyorksirens]

sirens protecting their top line and no defenders, and the only team to not protect a goalie iktr #MyDogshitTeam

[marxism-ex-silium]

So glad I get to experience homosexual desire. One life and thank god I'm not straight

[gonzocoded]

have you guys ever seen the lord of the rings

[gay-pippin]

no whats it about

[gonzocoded]

gay love

[gay-pippin]

[slowlikehoney1996]

If your lover lives in Hong Kong and cannot get to Chicago, it will be necessary for you to go to Hong Kong. Perhaps you will spend your life there, and never see Chicago again. And you will, I assure you, as long as space and time divide you from anyone you love, discover a great deal about shipping routes, airlines, earthquake, famine, disease, and war. And you will always know what time it is in Hong Kong, for you love someone who lives there. And love will simply have no choice but to go into battle with space and time and, furthermore, to win.

James Baldwin, Nothing Personal

[lonelyroommp3]

when you show up to the met gala you should immediately be faced with a panel of fashion experts and art historians before you even get to the red carpet and you have to explain your outfit choice and why it is on theme for that year’s event like you are defending a phd and if you can’t produce a coherent defence they turn you away at the door and the people of manhattan are allowed and encouraged to throw rotten produce at you as you get back into your car in shame

[unconfirmed-cephalopod]

the aquarium is happy to keep their manager

[berkcatton]

[folk-punk]

how can you eat the fried hearts of something that once was alive and had a beating heart? do you feel any guilt? i hope you do.

please google what an artichoke is

[clubnich]

a heavy burden

[luxiomahariel]

shoutout to fat nonbinary people

everyone say thank you to fat nonbinary people

[weewooelectricboogaloo]

The year is 2027. The New York Sirens have just won the Walter Cup. Kayle Osborne carries the trophy down the aisle at the Bourbonnais/Clark wedding. (She is also the event planner). Brianne Jenner carefully retrieves the wedding bands from inside the Walter Cup itself. Jessie Eldridge wears a pink scrunchie in her bridesmaid updo. Jincy Roese sings an acoustic version of her hit single “She Shoots She Scores” as Bourbs walks down the aisle. Carla McLeod officiates. The newly married couple has their first dance to “Just Got Started” from Universal Music Production’s Stomp Clap Rap II. Abby Roque makes a joke about the Clarky Skate Curse in her wedding toast. Greg Fargo is not wearing a purple tie. Rob Pizzo leads a conga line. There is peace on earth.

[excuse-me-thanks]

“i should take a walk for my mental health” boring, tired, i don’t even really wanna do it tbh

“i need to check the perimeter” i need to check the perimeter

[mariana-oconnor]

Conversation that probably happened

The King of the Dead, who has been an undead dramatic bitch for centuries: Right, good plan, but how about, instead of just rushing out and murdering them all immediately... you three go out, and they think 'oh there's only three of them' then you say something badass and then we come swarming out across the water and kill them all.

Aragorn, who loves smoking a pipe dramatically in dark corners: Yes, we can definitely do that.

[babyjanedough]

Already know I wanna send this to people on June 1

[isuckattechnology]

Audio:

Erika, referencing ebenezer scrooge: You, boy! What day is it?!

Brennan, as a young boy: It's Pride, bitch!