KetoSpoonie

Hi. I'm the KetoSpoonie. I'm attempting a ketogenic diet in a quest for more spoons. Sharing meals, recipes, progress, & observations.

[ketospoonie]

OH. MY. GAWD.

See that right there? That’s delicious, thick-as-can-be Greek-style yogurt with a little Keto-friendly coffee syrup (chocolate flavor). 

OK. Buckle in because I need to explain.

Today I decided to check out the inventory and prices at the one nearby health food store I hadn’t visited yet. While I was there I spotted grass-fed, no sugar added, 3.25% milkfat yogurt. The ingredients list?

Pasteurized Grass-Fed Milk

Active Bacterial Cultures

THAT’S IT.

TWO INGREDIENTS.

But that’s not even the best part.

It was half off.

The expiry date is tomorrow (but we all know those dates can’t often be stretched, especially with fermented foods like yogurt). It had been put in the refrigerated clearance section and I snatched it up.

I didn’t really intend to eat the yogurt. I figured my kids would. After all, even wholesome yogurt made with whole fat milk has 9-12 carbs per serving. But I needed to strain myself some whey for some fermentation recipes I wanted to get started.

So I dumped the whole container into a doubled up nut bag (one sack inside another), tied the strings around the wire shelving in my fridge, and put a bowl beneath to catch the whey.

I let it do its thing for, I dunno, maybe four or five hours? I used the whey I needed and put the rest in a re-used, glass cream bottle. Then I put the strained yogurt back into the original but now cleaned, container.

I offered some to my youngest. And because it looked so amazingly thick and rich (almost like cream cheese) I decided I had to try a tiny bit too. [I hate regular yogurt and will only eat thick styles.] Since I’ve been much more strict about ingredients and food with carbs in it lately I was sure I could handle a small, probably not even half-a-cup, serving. I would have loved to drizzle some raw honey on it but that’s definitely a Keto no-no.

Instead, I put less than one pump of my coffee syrup (I stirred it in after taking the picture).

It was heavenly!

Best thing I’ve eaten in days.

And there’s even more good news! The consensus (although maybe not rigorously proven) seems to be that the carb counts listed on unsweetened yogurt is based on the carb count of the milk used to make it. But guess what, folks. Part of the magic of fermentation is that all those happy, helpful bacteria consume the naturally occurring sugars (in this case, lactose). So the number on the label is higher than the actual carbs. By how much? Can’t say. They don’t eat all the sugars. So don’t go crazy thinking it’s suddenly a super low-carb treat.

The other good news? 

The consensus also seems to suggest that carbs are mainly in the whey.

You know.

The stuff I strained OUT of the yogurt?

Yeah.

So there’s another carb reduction.

And for a treat so decadent it has the texture of a dessert custard that’s definitely worth making room in your macros every once in a while.

[ketospoonie]

Damnit. I think wheat is one of my MCAS triggers. Anytime I indulge in a food not on this dietary protocol, I'm fine...unless it's made with wheat. In the months I’ve been doing this...

I’ve used non-Keto dairy in my coffee when no HWC is available. Nothing.

I’ve eaten a bit of non-Keto fruit. Nothing.

I’ve had a stuffed grape leaf (didn’t realize when I bought it that they have rice and didn’t want to throw it away). Nothing.

I’ve had condiments that aren’t exactly Keto. Nothing. 

I even had a few pieces of candy at Easter. Nothing (other than some tachycardia).

But the last two times I indulged in non-Keto cravings (buttered rolls with honey and another time, pizza) my digestive system took revenge on me. The pizza also seemed to trigger some tachycardia for a brief moment.

I can’t remember if the small piece of birthday cake I had at my youngest’s party upset my stomach or not.

I shouldn’t complain, seeing as how I’m working towards making keto and/or paleo and/or primal eating a permanent way of life for myself (to manage my health issues), so I shouldn’t be eating grains in the first place. But I’m also a huge proponent of “everything in moderation” and feeding the soul, not just the body. 

For example...I’ve totally been planning to make my chocolate chip cookie recipe for my birthday later this year because they’re one of my favorite desserts and MY chocolate chip cookies are AMAZING and I spent years looking for just the right recipe to get that perfect dense, and chewy yet fluffy cookie texture. I figured I’d use at least partly swerve to make them but that wheat flour is necessary to preserve that magical texture. But if having wheat = having a bad time the next day, that changes things. 

Though, the day of the pizza I didn’t take my daily antihistamine. I wonder if I took it the day of the rolls and the cake. Maybe I did the day of the cake but not the rolls? And maybe if I take it before having a little wheat, things won’t be a problem?

Dunno.

MCAS is stupid. Bodies are stupid. I’m just gonna focus on staying on plan for now. There are no special occasions coming up for which I want an off-plan treat. I don’t think there will be until October. So I’m just gonna use these bad experiences as fuel to resist any of those random cravings for off-plan food that pop up occasionally.

Though I gotta say, I crave non-Keto foods FAR less than I expected I would. People weren’t lying when they said once you cut that stuff out, you stop wanting it (most of the time).

PS: I haven’t been taking many food pictures because I haven’t been making anything particularly exciting/I keep forgetting to take pictures before it’s eaten. Sorry!

[ketospoonie]

Keto Dessert Success!

I was running low on Keto-friendly chocolate and I wanted something I could bring for myself to my weekly community dinner. I mean, I could just skip dessert entirely but it’s not much fun when everybody else is digging into the potluck dessert and I can’t eat any of it.

So I hit up google and found this recipe for Lime Coconut Bars. I didn’t have enough lime juice, so I made Lemon Coconut Bars instead. And I omitted zest and coconut stevia because I didn’t have those either. My final adaptation was that because I don’t have an 8x8 pan. I had to use a 9x6ish instead. That meant my baking time had to be increased to hand the thickness of my bars but otherwise not a big deal.

But I am just so pleased to have found a Keto dessert recipe I GENUINELY LIKE rather than a recipe I more or less tolerate. 

[ketospoonie]

April Eating

I have been super busy lately and didn't make posts for each meal I snapped pictures of. But here's almost all the food pics from April. And yes, I had a small piece of the birthday cake I baked for my youngest. I don't apologize for it or regret it.

And yes, I realize I accidentally included the same meal twice. Deal with it.

[ketospoonie]

Orange Mocha Latte

Make a cup of coffee per your usual method (I use a burr grinder and Aeropress) but add a dash of cinnamon to the grinds before brewing.

Pour up to one cup of almond milk or other keto-friendly dairy or dairy substitute into a high powered blender.

Add up to 1/4 tsp orange extract.

Add two pumps of Chocolate Zero Calorie Natural Sweetener (Monin Sugar-Free is NOT Keto Friendly, make sure you’re using the Naturals line if you are strict keto).

Add your coffee when it’s done brewing and blend on high until a nice foam builds on the top (you’ll have to pause the blending to check for foam as it doesn’t settle until motion has stopped).

Pour into a favorite mug and try not to die of happiness with the first sip. 

Find more keto drink recipes here.

[ketospoonie]

Ok. So I’ve been doing my new (tedious) skincare routine for two weeks or so and I dunno about you but I’m not seeing enough (if any) difference to justify the hassle.

All pictures were taken in the same spot with natural light but at various times of day. There were a couple of days that I got my hopes up but it never lasted long.

So today I’m going to start a new routine (I’ll keep switching out my pillowcase and probably keep using my clarisonic mia at least a few days a week). But the website I read about this on is kind of sketchy and normally I’d say “bullshit.” However there comes a point of desperation when the dermatologist method doesn’t work. The standard method doesn’t work. The alternative method doesn’t work. And you’re just fucking tired of looking like crap.

This flare is the longest I’ve ever had so I’m particularly frustrated. Especially when you consider that I used to look like this:

Awkward smile aside, look at that perfect fucking skin!

So yeah. I’m desperate enough to try washing my face with water mixed with sea salt for a little while. If it works, I’ll link the site and go into more detail about the routine.

[ketospoonie]

OK. I lied. Shortly after posting this I stumbled upon this Reddit post about using raw honey masks to clear sebderm. Last night I did my first mask. 

Not gonna lie.

It’s a giant pain in the ass to sit there for three hours with honey dripping off my face. But I am DESPERATE. And while the study this routine comes from was itty bitty and therefore not the most scientifically rigorous, I’m down to try. Especially considering my face can’t get much worse. It’s basically at it’s worst already.

The only concern I have is how to keep the honey from dripping into the corners of my mouth. Honey is not keto! lol -And yeah, I know, it’s a teeny-tiny amount, but what I understand about sweetness is that the minute it hits your tongue it sends some screwy messages to your brain. Plus I love the smell and taste of honey. I don’t need it creeping into my mouth to torture me with the taste of things I can’t eat.

[ketospoonie]

Super Fake Pho

I don't have all the ingredients for a proper bowl of pho, or the time to make it the traditional way, plus I was using shiritaki noodles for the first time...but let's just say I had faux pho for lunch. [Check out my adorable chopsticks!]

[ketospoonie]

Yesterday someone I really admire took me out to lunch at a shawarma place. I got fatuch salad (without the pita) and beef with a side of tahini.

This morning I made an omelet with sprouts, artichoke hearts, cheese curds, and my best approximation of "Everything But the Bagel" seasoning with what I had on hand.

I'm also having an iced mocha with some of the cold brew I prepped last night and filtered this morning. I really need to get a French press and an electric burr grinder though because the process without them is a giant pain in the ass.

[ketospoonie]

Ok. So I've been doing my new (tedious) skincare routine for two weeks or so and I dunno about you but I'm not seeing enough (if any) difference to justify the hassle.

All pictures were taken in the same spot with natural light but at various times of day. There were a couple of days that I got my hopes up but it never lasted long.

So today I'm going to start a new routine (I'll keep switching out my pillowcase and probably keep using my clarisonic mia at least a few days a week). But the website I read about this on is kind of sketchy and normally I'd say "bullshit." However there comes a point of desperation when the dermatologist method doesn't work. The standard method doesn't work. The alternative method doesn't work. And you're just fucking tired of looking like crap.

This flare is the longest I've ever had so I'm particularly frustrated. Especially when you consider that I used to look like this:

Awkward smile aside, look at that perfect fucking skin!

So yeah. I'm desperate enough to try washing my face with water mixed with sea salt for a little while. If it works, I'll link the site and go into more detail about the routine.

[ketospoonie]

Freakin’ Restaurants

I got paid early so I splurged big time this morning and ordered breakfast delivery. I got a “Splash Omelet” which was described as having shrimp and a “seafood blend.” I don’t usually eat shrimp (for environmental reasons) but like I said, I was treating myself.

Well…by “seafood blend” they didn’t mean a blend of different seafood. They meant “fake crab.” You know, the stuff made with starch that is DEFINITELY not Keto-friendly? I had to pick it out of my food and give it to my dog, which left a very measly amount of bland shrimp in my omelet (and some mushrooms which I asked for to replace the side of toast). Also, my omelet was cold and had a strange texture and the hollandaise sauce was weird.

I dropped a line to Skip The Dishes just to ask them to require better menu descriptions from restaurants, not only because of this but because sometimes it can take so long looking at menus, trying got Google nutritional info, etc. that I just give up on using Skip at all. I didn’t ask for one, but they ended up giving me a refund in Skip credits. I reiterated that I’d really like to see them pressure the restaurants to improve the menu descriptions. The credit is awesome (and I appreciate it) but doesn’t fix the underlying problem.

I mean, if I was celiac my whole omelet would have been ruined due to cross-contamination. And many restaurants, even if you go to their main website, still don’t tell you ingredients or nutritional info. Mucho Burrito, for example, has a list of only the main allergens people have. For people with more obscure allergens or MCAS or other dietary restrictions, too fucking bad I guess? I still have no idea what is in Mucho Burrito’s burrito sauce or avocado crema or salad dressings etc…which is why I gave up on ordering a taco salad even though it sounded delicious.

So for lunch, I’m using my credits and having a lettuce wrapped burger from South St. Burger Co. with bacon, cheddar, jalapeno sour cream, Pico de Gallo, and cucumber. Hopefully, there aren’t a bunch of hidden carbs in it. I’ve had a long week and am forcing myself to take a rest day today. But I’m lonely and bored and that’s why I wanted to pamper myself. For people who can afford to eat out often, one bad order probably isn’t a big deal. But when it’s a rare treat it’s super disappointing to have an experience like this morning. Fingers crossed for a better lunch.

PS: If you’re interested in trying skip, please use my invite link so I can earn credit: https://www.skipthedishes.com/r/DD8D670428

[ketospoonie]

OMG lunch was a clusterfuck and I haven’t even eaten it yet.

An hour and a half after I placed my order I get a call from the restaurant basically saying “ummm...we’ve got your food, where’s the courier? And then they tell me they don’t have a way to contact Skip The Dishes so I have to do it. So I wait in the queue for online customer service (started at number 29). Get through the queue and get a message saying “be with you in a moment!” (WHAT WAS THE POINT OF THE FUCKING QUEUE COUNTDOWN?) Then while I’m still waiting for a real response I get a call from somebody else at Skip. While I’m on that call the online agent finally responds and gives me some copypasta info on how the system works so I’m trying to hold a conversation with two people at the same time and just, gah. THIS STUFF EASILY STRESSES ME OUT.

In the end, they promise me they’ll make sure to ask the restaurant to make my order fresh so it’s not cold from waiting forever and tell me I’ll get a partial refund but they can’t tell me how much because it’s automatically determined based on how long past the estimated delivery time you had to wait and some preset algorithm.

I made sure to thank the guy that called and tell him to have a nice weekend because none of this is his fucking fault. But JESUS, Skip. Get your shit together. I have NEVER had this much trouble with them. In the past, almost every problem I’ve had has been a restaurant’s fault. So I don’t know what the fuck is going on with them today. They never did explain to me what the snafu was.

[ketospoonie]

Freakin’ Restaurants

I got paid early so I splurged big time this morning and ordered breakfast delivery. I got a “Splash Omelet” which was described as having shrimp and a “seafood blend.” I don’t usually eat shrimp (for environmental reasons) but like I said, I was treating myself.

Well...by “seafood blend” they didn’t mean a blend of different seafood. They meant “fake crab.” You know, the stuff made with starch that is DEFINITELY not Keto-friendly? I had to pick it out of my food and give it to my dog, which left a very measly amount of bland shrimp in my omelet (and some mushrooms which I asked for to replace the side of toast). Also, my omelet was cold and had a strange texture and the hollandaise sauce was weird.

I dropped a line to Skip The Dishes just to ask them to require better menu descriptions from restaurants, not only because of this but because sometimes it can take so long looking at menus, trying got Google nutritional info, etc. that I just give up on using Skip at all. I didn’t ask for one, but they ended up giving me a refund in Skip credits. I reiterated that I’d really like to see them pressure the restaurants to improve the menu descriptions. The credit is awesome (and I appreciate it) but doesn’t fix the underlying problem.

I mean, if I was celiac my whole omelet would have been ruined due to cross-contamination. And many restaurants, even if you go to their main website, still don’t tell you ingredients or nutritional info. Mucho Burrito, for example, has a list of only the main allergens people have. For people with more obscure allergens or MCAS or other dietary restrictions, too fucking bad I guess? I still have no idea what is in Mucho Burrito’s burrito sauce or avocado crema or salad dressings etc...which is why I gave up on ordering a taco salad even though it sounded delicious.

So for lunch, I’m using my credits and having a lettuce wrapped burger from South St. Burger Co. with bacon, cheddar, jalapeno sour cream, Pico de Gallo, and cucumber. Hopefully, there aren’t a bunch of hidden carbs in it. I’ve had a long week and am forcing myself to take a rest day today. But I’m lonely and bored and that’s why I wanted to pamper myself. For people who can afford to eat out often, one bad order probably isn’t a big deal. But when it’s a rare treat it’s super disappointing to have an experience like this morning. Fingers crossed for a better lunch.

PS: If you’re interested in trying skip, please use my invite link so I can earn credit: https://www.skipthedishes.com/r/DD8D670428

[ketospoonie]

Simple Platter Dinner

Kids are away. I'm low on groceries and don't get paid until the 15th. Didn't want to make something complicated. Hence:

[ketospoonie]

A Hearty & Delicious Snack

Cucumber and tomato with apple cider vinegar and dill. And an artichoke heart mixed with brie and real bacon bits and microwaved until melty.

[ketospoonie]

Food Catch Up

I have been busy and feel behind on posting meals. So here's a bunch.

Bacon, eggs, and Brie with garlic powder, onion powder, and basil.

Fisherman’s breakfast with artichoke hearts and mixed greens.

Green plate because the main course that was served was grilled cheese sandwiches and tomato soup. These sides were all I could eat. Usually I bring food for myself to this weekly dinner but I was misinformed about what was being served and thought I'd be able to have a taco salad. So the only thing I packed was dessert (see below).

And I don't have a picture from last night because I was busy being sociable. A friend and her family came over so she could try out my Instant Pot before deciding whether to buy one herself. She made us a roast chicken (from frozen!) and mashed cauliflower and salad. Then I whipped up strawberry sorbet in my Vitamix for dessert (frozen strawberries and a dash of almond milk with Lily's chocolate shavings on top of mine and chocolate chips for everyone else.

Speaking of chocolate...

These are awesome! I got them when I ordered from Sweet & Sprouted. They're cheaper per oz than Lily's. I just wish they came in dark chocolate. They do contain a tiny bit of soy lecithin though. So if you're strictly avoiding soy you should look elsewhere. And I know some ketoers don't do peanuts (they have other flavors too). But they are a great option for me to take to group dinners so I can have dessert when everyone else does. Not quite as good as Reese's (a pre-Keto favorite) but I will definitely purchase them again.

[ketospoonie]

Keto One Minute Muffin

I tried something new for lunch. I made a minute muffin in my microwave. I added the sweetener for the sweet muffin variation but it smelled so eggy when it came out that I abandoned the idea of spreading nut butter on it and decided to make use it breakfast sandwich style.

The coconut flavor is more noticeable than the egg when eating it. In the future I may experiment with almond flour (though it will require tweaking ratios). But this works really well for an at home Egg McMuffin. Your egg IS the muffin. So just slap on some cheese and meat and nom away.

[ketospoonie]

Breakfast this morning was simple ghee-fried eggs with salt and jalapeño cheese.

But remind me to never use my regular pans for eggs again. They stick so bad, even with tons of ghee. Cast iron is my new religion.

[ketospoonie]

Great New Keto Store Option!

All right, Canadian Ketoers, pay attention! There is a store in Saskatoon called Sweet & Sprouted that sells all sorts of awesome keto-friendly products. They are really particular about ingredients too, so it’s not just a place to buy sugar-free stuff that isn’t actually keto. AND they have an online store, with reasonable flat-rate shipping! 

They said to me about themselves: 

“We are working our butts off to offer the best possible keto and naturally sweetened products...There are so many mislabeled or fraudulent "sugar free" and "keto" products...We seek out the cleanest products available.”

What got me super excited was that they sell sugar-free coffee syrups withOUT sucralose in them. I didn’t even know there was a sucralose-free sugarless brand out there! A lot of people in my Keto Facebook groups use them under a IIFYM mindset (if it fits your macros) which is totally fine if that works for you! But I’m not just in this for weight loss. I’m trying to manage health disorders. So I’m trying to eliminate any and all non-keto ingredients where possible.

So I splurged on two flavors (chocolate and hazelnut though eventually, I want to get the other three). I also ordered some chocolate similar to Lily’s but less expensive, some sugarless “maple” syrup, and some Lily’s chocolate chips for much less than I’ve seen on Amazon or locally. There were also so many other amazing products I wanted to try but just can’t afford at the moment, including some pork rinds with some pretty enticing flavor profiles (Rosemary and Sea Salt? UM, YES PLEASE!).

So, before I show you the mocha I made with one of my new syrups, let me tell you a few things about Sweet & Sprouted. The shipping was FAST. I ordered late in the day on the 4th, so shortly before the weekend. It got here today! That’s only 4 business days! For Canadian mail, that’s really damn good. That’s just about Amazon Prime fast. And they even split my order without an extra charge because the syrup was going to be a few days late. They also threw a bonus Lily’s chocolate bar in my box and a hand-written thank you note. Nice.

They respond quickly if you message them on Facebook. 

And they told me that you can use the code “myfirst10″ to get 10% off your first order! 

This is not an affiliate post. I get nothing for blogging about this store. I just think it’s an AWESOME resource for Canadians doing Keto or similar eating plans. 

As for my mocha...

The syrups I got (I also got pumps for the bottles to make it fast and easy to add syrup to my hot drinks).

I used Aeropress-made coffee and almond milk and 5 pumps of chocolate. One website I found suggested 4 pumps p/8 oz of coffee. That seemed like an awful lot. So I decided to try 5 pumps in 16oz. Even that was a little much for me so next time I’ll use even less. And LOOK AT ALL THAT FOAM. Dog bless the Vitamix. 

The final product:

It was easy, delicious, and I can’t wait to experiment more in the future! I’m thinking the chocolate will work well for making cold chocolate almond milk too!