I think people need to understand that part of living a healthy life is having different people who understand different parts of you, so that you don't overwhelm your friends and expect too much of them, or ignore valuable relationships because they feel "incomplete".
We all want to be fully seen and understood, but it's not shallow or meaningless to just have a pal you talk about TV shows with who isn't also, like, your platonic soulmate. That's still your friend! You still enhance each other's lives with your company. Not everything that matters is profound.
I think a lot of you are lonely because you're waiting around for someone who sees into your soul instead of just plain old lookin' at the people in your life, finding common ground, and planting a little garden there. Even if that garden only grows Star Trek fan theories and memes, it's still good.
It just... makes me real sad that you guys can't imagine a friendship where you don't talk about sex and trauma constantly, or that you think these are prerequisites for "real" friendship. Like, it legitimately breaks my heart.
My therapist and I refer to this as the snowshoe effect!!! If you put all the weight onto one spot, you’re likely gonna sink deep into the snow. But if you spread it out more broadly by having different people for different parts of your life, you can walk on top of the snow, making the journey easier and having support even when something has made one person in your life inaccessible to you💕
