Kiarna

[honeylavendermilktea]

the fact that we need 8 hours of sleep is ridiculous we should only need 4 and the other 4 should be used to be cozy in your bed and rub your legs together like a cricket and listen to music and think about your little scenarios

[tastefullyoffensive]

[theocseason4]

my bad for assuming everyone has critical thinking skills btw

[bornfromfllames]

Billy Madison - Ultimate Insult

Okay, a simple “wrong” would’ve done just fine.

[writing-prompt-s]

after dying god informs you that hell is a myth, and “everyone sins, its ok”. instead the dead are sorted into six “houses of heaven” based on the sins they chose.

[wpsstories]

We arrived first at the House of Lust. “House” is a misleading term. It was more of a camp, spread over acres and acres of lush forest. There was a white sandy beach (nude, of course) full of copulating couples. There were little cabins sprinkled all along the path, from which orgasmic moans regularly came belting out. Men with six pack abs and women with perky breasts strolled by without even noticing me and God. They only had eyes for each other, tickling and pinching each other with flirtatious giggles.

“What do you think?” God asked as we passed a nineteen-way taking place in a pool of champagne. Little cherubs flitted overhead armed with mops and cleaning supplies, thankfully. “Lust is our most popular sin.” I eyed the supermodel-like figures of a couple passing nearby, and could easily see why. “You can look however you want. Hell, you can be whatever gender you want. No fetish is too taboo, and no desire can be denied here.”

It was quite tempting, but I wasn’t ready to make a permanent decision here. “Let’s see the others,” I told God.

We carried on to Greed. We passed rows and rows of mansions, each more opulent than the next. Some of them were so large that they would have had enough bed rooms to fit my entire hometown. And so many different styles: one second, we were in a beautiful French vineyard in front of a gorgeous chateau with the Alps in the background. The next second, a warm tropical beach with a modern mansion atop breathtaking cliffs. After that, a ski chalet in Colorado with a roaring fire in a hearth large enough to fit an ox. Each one had various Italian sports cars and Rolls Royces parked in front, with the occasional smattering of boats, helicopters, etc.

“Any material desire you ever wanted,” God explained. “Your own world, where you can have everything. You want the Hope Diamond? You can fly to Washington DC in your own solid gold helicopter and buy it from the Smithsonian. Hell, you can just buy the Smithsonian.”

Also tempting, but I decided to keep looking.

Gluttony was next up. Tables and tables of the very finest foods: beautiful steaks cooked medium rare; butter-poached lobster tail; fresh oysters on a half shell; exotic wines in dusty bottles that had been hiding in the cellars of the world’s finest restaurants. Everyone had a glass of champagne in hand and simply lounged on couches and chairs near the tables, eating endlessly. As soon as the inhabitants took a bite, the food just instantly came back. My mouth watered even watching them.

“In every other House, the food is practically sawdust compared to Gluttony,” God explained. “You haven’t truly experienced heaven until you’ve been to Gluttony.”

I shook my head, and we kept moving.

Sloth was as you’d expect. An endless sea of the softest mattresses, stacked with cushions and pillows that made the story of the princess and the pea seem minimalist. Little angels visited each resident, giving them massages that made them all melt into their blankets.

Wrath was… well, a lot like what I’d expect Hell to be like. Fire, brimstone, whips, torture.. you know, the works. Except here, you weren’t the one being tortured. Every enemy you’d ever made in your real life was now under your thumb. “Lots of people choose their fathers,” God explained. “Lots of grudges against parents in general, you know. But you’re not limited to that. Someone beat you out for a big promotion back on Earth? Take your pound of flesh here.”

Then we arrived at Envy. It looked… well, a lot like home.

“Go on in,” God said, gesturing toward the door. I turned the knob and walked in… and found Emily waiting inside. She ran forward, wrapped her arms around my neck, and planted a kiss right on my lips. “Welcome home, honey.”

I looked back toward God. “Oh, don’t be coy,” he said. “You have no secrets from me. We all know that you were in love with your best friend’s wife.” She didn’t seem to hear him at all; she went back into the hall. “We all know that you just settled for your own wife while secretly pining after her. Well, this is your chance to live happily ever after.”

I peered into the kitchen. Emily was baking something, wearing nothing but an apron. Her curly black hair fell softly over her shoulder as she whisked ingredients. She turned back, noticed I was observing her, and an enthusiastic smile spread across her face.

“It’s what you’ve always wanted, isn’t it?” God whispered in my ear.

I wanted to take it. God damn did I want to take it. But I shook my head.

God seemed puzzled. “You need to make a decision,” he told me.

“I haven’t seen Pride yet.”

He scoffed. “No one ever wants Pride, trust me.”

“Well, I want to see it.”

_________________________

Pride was boring. Just a row of workbenches in a bare white room.

“I don’t get it,” I told God.

“Yeah, no one does,” he answered. “That’s why no one ever chooses it. Doesn’t cavorting in Lust sound better than sitting here building little trinkets for the rest of eternity? Wouldn’t you rather gorge yourself in Gluttony? Or spend time with Emily in Envy?”

I considered the options again. “I pick Pride,” I finally told him.

He narrowed his eyes. “What? Look at it!” He gestured around the room again. There wasn’t much to look at. “Why would you choose this for the rest of time?”

“Because you don’t want me to pick it,” I told him. If he was really God, he’d know what a contrarian I can be. And I knew he was hiding something, trying to pretend like Pride didn’t exist. There was something special about it.

God scowled back. “Fine.” He led me over to one of the workbenches. In the center, there was a black space. A blank, empty void that went on forever. “Here’s your universe,” he said. “You’ve got seven days to get started.” He took his seat at the bench next to me and went back to tinkering in his own world. After a long pause, he finally spoke again: “You know, it might be nice for me to actually have some company for once.”

[feral-flower-child]

FUCKING I MEAN.

IT’S LIKE 7AM AND I LOVE GONNA REBLOG SO I CAN READ THIS SHIT AGAIN

[theoneandonlyredrobin]

Damn this is nice

[onlinecounsellingcollege]

“I feel like a failure because I’m struggling to become something and I don’t even know what it is.”

— Unknown

[marinella-ela]

[jaubaius]

People having some fun with a hopscotch set up on the street.

[buffdaddylayton]

[princerook]

C R Y I N G OMG

[loki-cat2]

I DONT THINK YOU GUYS UNDERSTAND

HOW MUCH I LOVE THESE SPIDERMAN PICS

[triggafiasco]

OH OH OHHH! I have some!!  

[ralaferinmoved-blog]

[geeeeeeeeeeeeeeenji]

oh shit not this fucking bullshit again oh my god jfklsdjflkj

[amarilloo]

THERE’S MORE WHERE THAT CAME FROM! 

[frickingrimesarchive]

HOLY FUCK HE’S BACK OMG

I’M ACUTALLY CRYING HERE OH GOD

[wondermagician-deactivated20160]

can’t forget these

[curledmess]

THESE ARE GOLDEN

[lucifer-the-morning-star-blog]

THESE ARE THE BEST THINGS IN EXISTENCE OMG

[nunyabizni]

@turtrussel

[kardcaptor-sakura-deactivated20]

How can ya’ll have a Spiderman thread and not post the original?

[nunyabizni]

Oh dear me

[kimreesesdaughter]

On some real shit, I do not fuck with people who ride those boat things at the carnival. People who get on those do not give a fuck about life, they don’t care about you, ya mama or your kids. They literally have nothing to lose. You don’t care about life so there’s no need for me to fight you because you’re not going to give a damn about my face. 

[kimreesesdaughter]

THIS JOINT!!!!

BITCHHHHHHH. I got on this shit when I was 12. Wasn’t no bar, no protection, nothing in that shit. I didn’t realize until it was too late. You couldn’t pay me to ever get on this shit ever again in my life. We were in Landover, this shit almost smooth flipped my ass to Baltimore. No. Never again. 

[nappyhurrdontcare-deactivated20]

12? I got on this bitch when I was 21 and had my head in my ex’s shoulder the ENTIRE time. Screaming like a bih too. Nope. Never again. I was praying to the gravity gods the entire time.

[neonghostz-deactivated20220823]

?????? All it does is swing back and forth???? I don’t understand the concern??????

[kimreesesdaughter]

[vandigo-deactivated20180131]

centrifugal force keeps you in your seat.

[retired3625ww-deactivated202305]

Centrifugal force isn’t keeping me from crying tho

[sexycraisinthanos]

why is this so funny

[jeremylfisher]

Moody spring morning in, Lovell Caynon, Nevada

[ejacutastic]

source

[kiarn64]

Except this is a misrepresentation of data and taken out of context to bring bias to a statement.

It literally depends how you are measuring it and plotting the data.

If you are measuring new case on a continuous basis, then the data will only cause an upward trend ie (day 1,2,3,4,5 cases 2,5,7,1,9) plotting them as cumulative would mean (2,7,14,15,24) thus upward and no downward plots. Yet if you measure them singularly then the data will wave like the first graph and essentially have a downwards trend as the virus is causing less and less cases.

So fuck you and your bullshit ‘proof’ that the world it’s going to burn if people go outside. The media need to stop instilling fear into the society for control by brainwashing people into stupid sheep who don’t think for themselves and won’t draw their own conclusions.

FYI there’s been no second wave so stfu

[kiarn64]

Can we just delete America and start again?

Asking for a friend

[umbrella-formerly]

I hate when you’re like “wow nothing is exciting anymore” and someone pipes up like “it’s called growing up” actually deborah, it’s called major depressive disorder but thanks for your input

[kiarn64]

Excuse me sir, may I ask you a question?

[kiarn64]

[onlinecounsellingcollege]

“I’m not lazy. I’m just exhausted from fighting my way through every single day.”

— Mimi love