Internet Godess

Roses are red, Violets are blue, If you're a fuck boy, I hate you.

[threebigolsausages-deactivated2]

if somebody has a voodoo doll of me and keeps forcing it to make poor life decisions please stop

[medschoolapplicant-deactivated2]

Today I’m wearing a nice dark shade of exhaustion under my eyes.

[jollymarco]

just takin a selfie

[onceaponaphan]

Connor is all of us right now. 

[thebootydiaries]

It’s a breezy summer day and the rustling from the leaves outside sound like whispers from my small apartment. I’m sitting in front of my laptop, silently studying the 1.6 billion faces speaking simultaneously in front of me. It’s Monday, the day of the weekly conference call between all Muslims. We have been required to attend this Skype meeting from the the tender age of fetus, but I had never spoken in one of them before. 

That changes today. 

“Hey guys, what if…” I start to say. 

Nobody hears me, but I refuse to be silent. How could I show my face again on Tumblr if I couldn’t even save my mayonnaise friends from death? How could I expect to earn their respect? Anon was right; why hadn’t I done this before? Thousands of lives had paid the price for my ignorance, but not anymore.

“What if you guys….. stopped killing people.“ 

Suddenly, silence. 

1,643,398,023 pairs of eyes are on me. My heart is in my throat as the ISIS leader gives me a blank expression. 

A single tear rolls down my cheek. "Please.” I say with a broken voice. 

He is moved. 

“Aight”.

[kickthe-awkward-phanstickz]

how sweet

[onlytwitterpics]

[unsouring-deactivated20160511]

person: *points at leg* why is your leg shaking

me: well my pal my buddy I am full of anxiety

[sizvideos]

A pediatrician shows how to calm a crying baby (Video)

[ladycreep-deactivated20201127]

Babies are weird. I don’t like that they cry a lot. I cry a lot and I can’t have that kind of competition in my life right now.

[kween-geetaaa]

I do this to my son and it works lol

[sharmakeswife-deactivated201809]

Reblog to save a parent

[the-headless-king]

Reblog to save a concerned uncle who has no idea what the hell they are doing. (E.g. Me)

[kickthe-awkward-phanstickz]

are we not gonna talk about this guys fucking hands

[ammit420]

them niggas in zoey 101 was like 12 workin in sushi restaurants but im 17 and mcdonalds wont call me back why life gotta be so rough

[bondange]

if dan howell punched me in the face i would thank him

[steamcleanmymind-deactivated201]

[straightboyfriend]

me texting someone

me: hey its me, an inconvenience,

[parkchanwoohoo]

[livinginthequestion]

The story writes itself. *scribbling*

[hey-bazooka]

imagine ur otp

[gayfools-deactivated20200607]

if a plant is sad do u photosympathise with it

[just-shower-thoughts]

Imagine if someone handed you a box full of all the items you have lost throughout your life

[a-case-of-tragic-magic]

#it would be nice to get my sense of purpose back

[celtic-pyro-deactivated20230725]

“Oh wow my childhood innocence! Thank you for finding this,”

[stuffinspace-deactivated2017100]

“my will to live! i haven’t seen this in 15 years!”

[ilikechildren--fried-deactivate]

“I knew I lost that potential somewhere!”

[tatt00ine]

“Mental stability, my old friend!”

[gay-armadillo]

[dajo42]

“no prob bob”, or, more formally, “no probert robert”,