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@king-james-favourite
Crown stays ON in bed
taking stock meme phrases and translating them into Ye Olde English is literally top tier comedy
“hoes mad” - average, basic, possibly funny in the right context and if it appeals to your personal sense of humor
“wenches vexed” - instant kill shot
this post RUINED my sense of humor ever since i first saw it nothing else has even come CLOSE to making me laugh as hard and probably never will
POP THAT PUSSY PAUL REVERE
@anthonis-van-dyck
So 2 moons ago the king said he was cutting rations by half and we all began gathering pitchforks.
But on this day he announces that he is doubling rations and you all cheer and bend the knee to him? Is he not the one that took the rations in the first place?
And while on this subject the people are the ones growing the rations! I see not the king doubled over sowing the ground. I see not dirt crusted under the king’s nails? Ney, what I do see is a king with a full belly, clean hands, and a golden latrine in which he defecates.
But no, you all are not ready for that conversation
You peasants just aren't prepared to curry the king's favour.
The Infant King
King James began to rule his native Scotland when he was 12 years old.
His majesty knew little of his parents.
His father, Henry Stuart, was murdered in 1567, and his mother, Mary, Queen of Scots, was forced to leave the country when she married the suspected murderer, James Hepburn.
He had no siblings and his grandparents were unable to take care of him so he grew up surrounded by nobles and tutors.
My boyfriend was an adorable kid.
But so were you …
Anthonis van Dyck - Portrait of George Villiers, 2nd Duke of Buckingham and Lord Francis Villiers
@king-james-favourite
Thank you, sir. I hear the same of you as well!
You were such a handsome young man!
Portrait of a Man in Armour with Red Scarf
Anthony van Dyck
1627
Oil on canvas
@angelo-chuck-wagon I have no idea who this is...
No idea at all...
It might be portrait of my main patron In England: George Villiers, Duke of Buckingham.
Patron!!
I heard mention of myself! Thus, I appear! And how is my handsome painter on this glorious day?
Everyone’s going on about having a ‘traditional, old-fashioned Christmas’, but when I burst into the house covered in green paint and demand a champion strike my head from my shoulders with my own axe so that I may return the blow next year, I’m ‘scaring Grandma’.
A reblog from about five years ago, this time with some pictures.
ab. 1475-1480 The Cloisters Playing Cards by South Netherlandish master
King of Horns / Queen of Horns / Knave of Horns
King of Nooses / Queen of Nooses / Knave of Nooses
King of Collars / Queen of Collars / Knave of Collars
King of Tethers / Queen of Tethers / Knave of Tethers
(Metropolitan Museum of Art)
@anthonis-van-dyck fancy a game of cards?
Culture
William Shakespeare was among the Kings Men, who were an establishment of actors who performed plays for his majesty.
@william-the-ladyfinger remember thesetimes?
Personal Affairs
His majesty openly took a liking to various young men. Commonly accepted recipients of his homosexual affections are:
Esmé Stewart, 1st Duke of Lennox
Robert Carr, 1st Earl of Somerset
George Villiers, 1st Duke of Buckingham
I wasthe best one. Admit it!
Marriage
In 1589, his majesty married Anne, the daughter of Frederick II of Denmark.
The couple had 8 children, 3 of which survived into adulthood.
But he would rather spend his time with me.
The Infant King
King James began to rule his native Scotland when he was 12 years old.
His majesty knew little of his parents.
His father, Henry Stuart, was murdered in 1567, and his mother, Mary, Queen of Scots, was forced to leave the country when she married the suspected murderer, James Hepburn.
He had no siblings and his grandparents were unable to take care of him so he grew up surrounded by nobles and tutors.
My boyfriend was an adorable kid.
Simon Ward as George Villiers, 1st duke of Buckingham in the Three Musketeers (1973)
5/xx Copy of a Van Dyck of George on his death bed at Osterley Park and House. National Collections Trust c1830.
@anthonis-van-dyck lets never get to this moment in the timeline.
10/xx Michiel Janszoon van Mierevelt, George Villiers Duke of Buckingham, 1626, art gallery of South Australia
This portrait probably shows the Pearl suit George is said to have worn to Paris for the proxy wedding of Charles and Henrietta. According to reports the pearls were loosely attached to the suit so they would fall off as he walked - it was apparently quite the sight.
The pearl rope he is wearing was a gift from James and might have originally been Queen Anna’s prior to her death.
15/xx Daniel Dumontsier, Le Duc de Boukinkan, 1625, BN Paris
Another souvenir from George’s trip to Paris in May 1625 for Charles and Henrietta’s proxy wedding. Despite what horrible histories told you, he was not the proxy groom - that was one of Charles’s French cousins.
Although the trip to Paris was a hit socially - the stunt with the Pearl suit had the intended effect and there was a type of hat named after him - but he did not get the guarantees from Richelieu and Louis XIII for a joint campaign against the Habsburg to return the Palatine to Elector Frederick, who was languishing in exile at The Hague with Elizabeth and their vast brood of children.
There were also delays getting out of France due to various people getting ill and delays with papal dispensation and the presentation of papal honours to Henrietta Maria. This led to the first big clash between George and his new queen, and set the antagonistic tone for their working and personal relationship going forward.
However what everyone remembers is the business in the garden at Amiens with Anne. What actually happened is honestly a mystery and there has been a lot of scandal and romantic fantasy surrounding this since. Anne was of course the one who bore the brunt of this - when she was introduced to Cardinal Mazarin years later by Richelieu it was with the words “Madame you’ll like him, he looks just like Buckingham.” This also gave George the nickname “Fuckingham” one both sides of the channel.
Well done George, you only had one job and you couldn’t even do that properly.
It's a term of endearment, thank you very much.
incorrect George Villiers quote circa 1624/5:
life gets hard… can you?