you slumber, a cucumber

squidrick shippers dni 🚫 | call me dan or bluewer, he/him only | yes im employed. yes im a cg5 fan. we exist :smirk:

[professional-termite]

bluewer on artfight!! go follow me i want to attack so many ppl!!!!

my name is dan / bluewer :) he/him (or some neos--check my pronouns page out!)

dni (not a lot tbh)

squidrick shippers 🙄🙄🙄🙄

terfs or radfems, LGBTQphobic/racist/anti-(insert any religion here) bigots, pedophiles or zoophiles

main special interests:

childs play/chucky (mostly the show, and curse/cult, but i love everything chucky)

minecraft!!!!

cooking!!!!!!!!

current hyperfixations:

minecraft story mode s2 <3

CG5 AND BBNO$ RRRRAAAAHHHHHH!!!!!!

ooblets (i am addicted atm)

im not exactly a selfshipper but im not NOT a selfshipper, ya feel? fictional wives include lefraude from fogtown, romeo from minecraft story mode, nica pierce from chucky/childs play, and padrig from ooblets

aaaand my tagging system is under the cut

my tags for rp as eddie (before i moved him to @e-w-w-morningstar) are #e.w.w. morningstar and #eddie lore, the tags for casual-wood (derry) are #casual-wood and #d.c.c., and the tags for rping as van the void dweller is #van lore or #vans void

my art stuff is under #writing adventures with van and #drawing adventures with van (altho most of it isnt very good lol)

most of my original posts are under #random, and posts where i talk are tagged #termite talks

[transhuman-priestess]

putting on the high vis corset and running in front of cars across a dark country road like a deer

[randomitemdrop]

Item: Corset of Visibility

[obscurelocalstranger]

[fittingoutjane]

Pair this with a black skirt and boots, and you, too can be a Visigoth.

[ufo-offical]

*flies past*

[the-muppet-joker]

Am I allowed to sexualize the puppet from project hail mary or do I have to wack it to Ryan Gosling because I will if I have to but frankly I'd rather have that alien skittering all over me like a sexy bug. Fuuuck they call him rocky because he make my rock hard

[nealashitposts]

So I've got this friend whose nervous because she's trans and dating this guy who she hasn't told yet because they've only been on a two dates. For this story let's call the friend Jane and the guy she was dating Jason. Happy ending don't worry.

So I tell Jane to bring her boy over to a bbq I'm having and she can tell him she's trans at my place surrounded by queer and trans people who love her and will support her if he ends up being awful.

She waits till the end of the bbq to tell him the news, by which point the rest of us have learned that Jason is a kind, friendly, empathetic, hard working, dummy. So we sit down, all of us a little worried about this gym bro's reaction when she tells him she's trans, and that she understands if he doesn't want to keep dating her it's no big deal.

He's baffled, so we explain what trans is, and after the disclosure that she hasn't had bottom surgery yet...

"Oh you have a dick?"

"... yeah."

He look's around at the room full of people with baited breath, his clearly a little afraid girl friend says

"Oooohhhh! I get it! You think- don't worry Babe! Watch this!"

And ya'll this man jumps up, runs into the kitchen and returns with one of the bratwurst we had for grilling and proceeds to tilt his head back, put it down his throat, hold it in his mouth for a moment, and spit it up without even a whisper of a gag and then looks around at the group absolutely beaming with pride.

My mans saw his worried girlfriend and her support network and thought to him self "Oh they don't think I can't please my girl, but I'll show them!"

[nealashitposts]

I do feel the need to add that later he excitedly tell the group that as a straight guy, he never thought that skill would be useful outside hotdog eating contests.

[hyperrbolic-orange]

"Man its too bad that im straight since I've got like no gag reflex and all."

"Honey, I must tell you, i am in fact trans and I have not had bottom surgery."

"My god... everything's coming up Jason."

[dancinbutterfly]

Pure of heart dumb of ass hetero of sexual

[mintbees]

if i was a popular minecraft youtuber id just tweet "hey guys stop drawing shipping fanart of me and my friends/coworkers, i only fucked one of them and seeing me paired with anyone else is kinda weird and crosses my boundaries" and then i'd turn my phone off

[aro-throughyourchest]

[i-fuck-audis]

MY FUCKING CAR

[soracities]

think it's a deep consolation to know that spiders dream, that monkeys tease predators, that dolphins have accents, that lions can be scared silly by a lone mongoose, that otters hold hands, and ants bury their dead. that there isn't their life and our life. nor your life and my life. that it's just one teetering and endless thread and all of us, all of us, are entangled w it as deep as entanglement goes. v neat i think.

[sleepyqirong]

John rod... the new JOJOlands villan.... 😰

[lesvegas]

passing in public makes me feel like white shrek

[lesvegas]

literally how it feels

[welpnotagain]

[stevehatch]

The best thing you can do is if there's 2 girls that like the same guy you ship the girls together and leave the guy outside for the wolves

[luka6x]

[mich-vanadis]

Shapiro and DuBois in the afterlife watching Grace get into a polycule with rock aliens when he turned down their offer to be their third

[thatisjacob]

Telekinetic battle

[thesecretuncle]

It’s clear who is winning

[tibby]

tubi is one of our greatest warriors in the fight against streaming services costing a fortune for mediocre content. tubi has the most insane collection of movies you will ever encounter all for free. it has cult classics and questionable lifetime movies and movies that nobody except like three people on the planet have ever seen. tubi has movies that doesn’t exist. like if you just thought of a movie one day but never made it and no one ever made it it would somehow still exist on tubi. one day i will log onto tubitv dot com and i will see terribly inappropriate, overly complex, and strange on there. and i won’t even be surprised.

[blackphoenixincorporated]

Tubi is where I found this gem:

[mornington-the-crescent]

[rabbitindisguise]

wait this wasn’t a “poob has it for you” bit?

[notbopper]

tubi doesnt have what youre looking for but it does have a lot of things you would never have thought to

[moringmark]

[senecio11]

'College Buddies'

Did Flowery get some insane work done? Is he a secretly a vampire? Is he just absolutely cracked at photoshop and using it to mess with people? We may never know...

Part of my Lightner AU!

[amnesiaguy]

fantasy is when currency is referred to as "gold" and sci fi is when currency is referred to as "credits"