easterling.

[jovan]

[valtsv]

tolkien + “due to personal reasons…”

bonus:

[penny-anna]

hot take: 

Gloin is the sexiest dwarf by dwarf standards.

Kili is the sexiest dwarf by elf standards.

Thorin is the sexiest dwarf by human standards

& Bombur is the sexiest dwarf by hobbit standards

[penny-anna]

#ITS TRUE AND YOU SHOULD SAY IT #(ALSO THORIN AND KILI BEING ‘UGLY’ BY DWARF STANDARDS IS AMUSING CONTENT)

further take: Kili is straight-up ugly by dwarf standards. Thorin is like, the dwarf equivalent of Benedict Cumberbatch. Some dwarves think he’s an absolutely dreamboat, others think he is super weird looking, there’s very little middle ground.

[kayla-bird-deactivated20190505]

omg now i’m like. what does this make frodo by hobbit standards

[penny-anna]

by hobbit standards, I’m afraid Frodo is probably. not conventionally attractive at all.

[femmefaramir]

Frodo is the sexiest hobbit by elf standards

[stinkylittlegnome]

@femmefaramir this is some fucking galaxy brain level tags and im crying out of sheer horror

[charlesoberonn]

I wonder what JRR Tolkien would think if he was alive today and found out people were salivating over and sexually craving the Orcs he created.

[pabs-art]

Tolkien: Lewis, are you seeing this shit? These people want to fornicate with the animalistic allegories of evil I have created! Is there no morality left on this earth?

C.S Lewis, also revived and remembering that furries based on Aslan exist: No, none.

[charlesoberonn]

The master of lore that is Tolkien would do that.

[hymnsofheresy]

since technically there is no male and female bc we are all one in Jesus Christ…. would that make our collective nipples “god-presenting”? discuss. 

[magicalmystic]

lydia do you accept constructive criticism on your posts

[hymnsofheresy]

no. god herself whispered this post into my ear. defying it would be blasphemous.

[magicalmystic]

well in that case

[doodleladle]

if you recognize these images you die instantly

[crayyola-deactivated20220827]

Okay im begging someone explain this

[yehudah]

[tealfruit]

I’m making bread

[tealfruit]

bread boys

[tealfruit]

my sons!

THEY’RE DELICIOUS

[tealfruit]

frog bread was tagged explicit. reblog the forbidden frog bread for luck and power

[nostrem]

on the subject of bots, runescape had literally the best way of dealing with their botting problem:

if an account was detected using bot software, they would be instantly teleported to a hearing from a witchfinder general style npc, where other players could watch and throw rotten tomatoes at them. then the audience could vote on how the person on trial would be killed as punishment, and THEN the botter was permanently banned afterwards. it was the funniest shit ever

[elaralara]

tbt when they had no banning system so the gms just teleported hackers into The Void™ for eternal punishment

[nostrem]

That was a whole other problem in itself, due to the whole “disc of returning” debacle.

Basically there was an item (disc of returning) that let regular players visit these “banned” players in the void. You could come and go freely and still talk to any banned people there. The only problem was that this item was totally tradeable/droppable, and people visiting were getting tricked by the banned players into giving the item up to them, or dropping it so it would despawn.

Basically people were pulling some body-snatcher shit, and banned players were taking the place of innocent players through the disc of returning to get back into the game, and leaving behind the innocent ones trapped in their place. Runescape was fucked up lmao

[raysipe1]

To the Voids with you

[raysipe1]

Voids

[h4mm3rm4n]

Assassin’s Creed Odyssey: Tan Line Edition

[thebibliosphere]

I actually feel sorry for the likely unpaid intern sitting at tumblr HQ dealing with all our bullshit and snark while those actually in charge watch the world burn from a safe distance and blame it on us damn kids not buying more products. Because ultimately this is what this about. Verizon needs to make money from Tumblr, and Verizon can’t make money cause Apple says “no adult content” and Apple has a stranglehold on the app market.

The fact that a lot of us use tumblr to host our own services and products as independent creators, often as our only source of income, is irrelevant to them. The fact that to many of us this is our community is meaningless to them. We’re acceptable collateral damage to furthering corporate greed and that’s the fucking tea on that.

Also to the hypothetical unpaid intern: leave, sweety. You can do better, and you’re worth so much more.

[m-in-a-moonrock]

I thought Apple removed the app because of the CP though ? 

Not that I don’t think Apple is evil or don’t have a stranglehold on the market, but if the removal was specifically because of the pedophilia then that was a more than fair decision. Come to think of it, if it was because of all the porn bots it was also pretty fair. Tumblr should have gotten its shit together way earlier about that and if the whole “no adult content” thing is wholly their decisions then this mess is on them for not being able to manage their own website, panicking when there’s finally some consequences and deciding that trying to ban all “adult content” instead of dealing with the actual problem is the way to go

 (so yeah hypothetical intern might want to find a better, not completely incompetent place of work)

[thebibliosphere]

The CP is what forced them to roll out changes quicker, but otherwise this NSFW ban has been in the planning for quite some time. They were always planning to do this.

That whole “oh we rolled back the filtering system” that happened a while ago cause the algorithm was bullshit? Was them testing it to see a) how well it worked but also b) how we’d react.

But because, and this is all through the grapevine stuff and “anon sources” who were willing to talk to Vox (source), Verizon haven’t been putting any money into Tumblr since they bought it, the engineers that run the site have been jumping ship left right and center for better gigs (without being offered any reason to stay), so there’s been increasingly fewer staff to maintain or make changes, so the filter is still bullshit, still broken, and the site is only going to break further as time goes on cause no money is going into maintaining the basic infrastructure. So it doesn’t just seem like things are broken and no one is fixing it, things actually are breaking down, and there’s not enough people with the know how to fix it.

Tumblr is like the house built on sinking sand at this point. It just so also happens to be built on top of a tire fire as well, and the “discovery” of a CP circuit was just the thing that made them go “oh shit oh god oh shit” when Apple finally got sick of their shit and pulled the app. (And Apple is notorious for not allowing apps “that contain user generated content that is frequently pornographic” or for trying to muscle them out of site out of mind (source)(source)(source) so to the people in the notes going “uuuh they allow snapchat???”, yeah, for now. It also likely has different age restrictions and details in their ToS compared to the android one, where the rules about apps are a lot more lax, something which Steve Jobs himself was snarky about (source).)

[datmusictho]

Jesus Christ I’m so mad at myself for not knowing about any of this until now

[thebibliosphere]

Don’t be! The facts are only just now starting to emerge as people are becoming willing to speak out and talk, but also, some of these things are well hidden!!

Big companies pay big money for you to never know these things about them, they scrub their google returns clean so that most of the time all you will ever find are positive results. Most people didn’t even know that Yahoo had been acquired by Verizon until recently. Some people still don’t.

Misinformation is how chaos thrives, and chaos can often be capitalized on provided it’s a carefully curated kind. All of this?—laughable as it is to say, was planned. Poorly planned, and even more poorly executed, but premeditated all the same. As is anything that is done by a corporate company.

This is why things like Net Neutrality did and do matter. This is why telecommunication companies developing a monopoly over the Internet was a bad idea. This is why so many of us have been freaking out while others call us tin foil hatters go “ugh come on guys, it’s not a big deal” because it does matter! The small things matter! Because the small things eventually make up the whole and sometimes the whole turns out to be a big steaming pile of mass censorship in favor of profit. And that’s a Problem.

So don’t be mad at yourself. Not when it’s time to get mad at them.

[storybookhawke]

How to find your original posts (and not reblogs)

For the sake of moving your stuff to other places.

First, consider backing up your blog. They’ll send you a back up of every single post on your blog in a file via email, though it takes some time and be a really big file for some. You might not need or want it, depending on your blogging style.

Tumblr Original Post Finder (jetblackcode.com/TumblrOriginalPostFinder/) ((not linked for obvious reasons for tblr’s censoring))

It will look like this when you type in your URL and press enter.

You can then go through and see which ones you’d want to save, or you can go back and filter by number of notes (for example, it can find all posts with 10+ or 100+ notes or whatever you desire). I plan on saving them to a document in order to post later to alternative websites, wherever we end up moving.

There’s not a lot of ways to speed the process up, but this is what I have. I hope it helps. 

[kingbard]

hey yall since it's all going to shit pretty soon anyway can i get some ac:o alexios fun art over here if you know what i mean i need that shit before i leave forever thanks

[long-ago-1234567890]

good things about the nsfw ban

good idea to ban nsfw content on a 13+ website. like as a concept, it is a good policy!!

no more cp

children will not get exposed to nsfw shit on here anymore (literally you could not search the tag of any female character, including adult ones, without finding porn of her. after this ban was announced, a 15 year old i know’s first reaction was “finally i can search any tag ever”)

no more dudes with blogs that are just gifs of stolen footage from sex workers

no more nerds with hentai blogs. theyre not inherently bad but i personally hate them

bad things about the nsfw ban

will hurt sex workers who use this site to advertise

bad implementation: things getting incorrectly flagged as nsfw. several sfw lgbt tags and a few fandom tags (like, for children’s tv shows) were made unsearchable, and some innocent people’s blogs were deleted. this is more a problem with the implementation, than the policy itself.

not necessarily a bad thing about the nsfw ban, but a bad thing related to it: tumblr ONLY did this bc they got taken out of the app store. they don’t actually give a shit

things that are unrelated to the nsfw ban but important to note

tumblr still hasn’t banned the terfs or the nazis, and they need to.

tumblr STILL promotes pedophilic content. in their “year in review 2018″ thing, many of the “top ships” listed were pedophilic (like sheith) or incestuous (like thorki). this is disgusting.

[teathattast]

Look at him go!!

[myrrhguy-deactivated20250626]

the splashes from previous attempts…this is one dedicated boy

[history-and-stuff-and-things]

[gaybaggins]

tbh i never got why so many straight women are into legolas. like, what do you think hes going to do? top you? i have to laugh

[theawesomeadventurer]

do you think J R R Tolkien can read these posts from hell

[witkneec]

Erin, my very gay wife, was obsessed with lotr and Orlando Bloom- specifically Legolas- when she was growing up. She had posters. She had pencils. She had tshirts. If it had his face on it, she owned it. Three weeks ago, I went home to my parent’s for the first time in a minute. My 16 year old sister was writing letters on lined, green, Legolas paper. I thought it was hysterical bc I give Erin so. much. shit. about loving a dude I think looks like the loveliest of ladies so I took a picture of it and sent it with a text making fun of my sister’s dorky love for Mr. Bloom. It took her a few minutes to respond. When she did, she just sent this:

That’s mine, you asshole. The last time your sisters came to visit, I gave them a bunch of art supplies and Anna wanted it so I gave it to her. You tell her I’m proud of her. And that no matter what you say, he is not. a. gateway. to. lesbianism.

That was last month.

Guess whose sister just called to schedule dinner with her gay sister and her wife so they can meet her new girlfriend?

[dankmemeuniversity]