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Naruto 699/700/The Last criticism aggregate. I reblog any witty, funny, or intelligent discussion or responses, or news related to those in here. Spoilers abound. Hope you like your stay :)

[hallatunturi-deactivated2016080]

Everyone can probably spot the main difference between Kishimoto and Studio Pierrot’s designs…

[sasukesmixtapes]

“i hate sasuke for what he did to sakura!!!” is like puttin ya hand on the stove then tryna be like “i hate the stove for burning me!” shawty u knew that shit was hot from the get go, king sasuke gave her full disclaimer in large print. how you gone be mad cuz she skipped the terms & conditions?? she shoulda tapped into that common sense and let lee wife her up she coulda had a real hallmark holiday wedding card photo instead of that tired cut and paste shit she tryna fool folks with 1-800-YO-FAULT 

[redrose3443-deactivated20210726]

Haruno VS. Uchiha

I see people tagging Sakura gifs and screen shots as “ Sakura Uchiha” and I’m like, no.

Just no.

That’s Sakura Haruno preforming those feats and kicking ass. Sakura Haruno, who is looking after others, while worrying for her comrades. Sakura Haruno, who wanted to grow stronger, so she could help others and protect her team.

Sakura Uchiha’s feats include the following;

-Having a child.

-Dusting.

Don’t get it twisted.

[ben-solos-good-boy-sweater]

DEDICATED TO EVERY ASSHOLE WHO DOUBTS THAT SAKURA IS SARADA’S MOTHER. REMOVE THE FUCKING GLASSES, AND THERE IS ZERO RESEMBLANCE TO KARIN. I HOPE YOU CHOKE ON THIS TRUTHERY. 

/micdrop

[a-cherry-blossom-flower-crown]

Too bad her hair is not pink and her eyes are not green. Too bad she wears glasses and has black hair in canon. Nice try though.

[truebond]

This is it…this is the ultimate reason why SS and NH became canon. I’m convinced of it.

My friend little-lord-brat and I occasionally discuss how shitty the ending is, but today she came up with the one true reason why NH/SS became canon.

To paraphrase her, “Kishi chose these pairings because they’re dysfunctional, resulting in problematic children with daddy issues.”

THAT’S IT. IT ALL MAKES SENSE NOW.

If NaruSaku had happened, Sakura wouldn’t put up with Naruto neglecting his kids and would put him in his place. This means their kids wouldn’t act up due to neglect, wouldn’t hate Naruto, and wouldn’t have the family conflict the writers want. If SasuKarin had happened they might not have had kids at all or Sasuke may have actually been around his kid, since Karin likely would leave Konoha with him since she has no alliance to Konoha. Again, this would eliminate the family conflict the writers wanted in their next generation. And if SasuNaru happened there likely wouldn’t be a next generation at all for them, at least not a blood-related one.

SS and NH’s dysfunctional and shitty natures are the exact reasons why they’re canon. They’re canon because they don’t work. Just looking at the state of the kids and what direction the marketing for Boruto is taking proves this theory holds water. Boruto’s entire arc so far revolves around how much he hates Naruto and thinks he’s a shitty father. If Naruto had ended up with someone who didn’t play such a passive role in their relationship, Boruto wouldn’t have these daddy issues for the writers to play with.

And this realization is really fucking disgusting. It’s so revealing of how few shits the writers give about the characters and the fans that love them. They could’ve written NH/SS to be functional and made some attempt to make them tolerable, but no, this shit is intentional. They’re intentionally making SS/NH shittier than shit because it’s the only way they can think of to make problematic children to copypasta Naruto and Sasuke’s dynamic from the first series. And that’s just so fucked up.

[gweatherwax]

Oh lookit! MORE NUMBERS PROVING THE NARUTO ENDING WAS A FIASCO!

Check this out, not only did Naruto fans get angry and stop buying Naruto merchandise, but it spilled onto WSJ as well.

WSM had a 36208 drop in sales,

WSS had a 17833 drop in sales,

but WSJ had a whopping 182500 drop, 5 times bigger than Kodansha’s WSM, that coincides with the shitty end of the Naruto manga. (source)

Numbers do not lie, kiddies. And now with Naruto Gaiden having pissed off even MORE people, I wonder what the sales number for the next quarter will be, lol

[chattegeorgiana]

Cuz if we are to burn, we ALL BURN TOGETHER MOTHERFUCKERS! *evilface*

[raisesomehale]

do you ever get to a point in a fandom where you just… ignore canon?

[teenagetreepatrol]

[fuckishimoto]

The fandom is full of hate is entirely Kishimoto’s fault. He pitches characters against each other, pairings against each other. He admitted it’s intentional, it wrote NS as a red herring to set up a pairing war. He’s now writing this convoluted parentage mystery in the gaiden to pitch Sakura against Karin again. To him, female characters are just tools for keeping the fandom entertained with drama. Even his theme is divisive, he pitches hard worker against genius multiple times at least 5 times and tells you to hate on natural talent. He’s trash.

[natto-nguyen]

behind kakashi’s mask :o

[onemerryjester]

IS THIS FOR REALLLLLLLLLLLLL

[kakashi-gets-sasusaku]

OOOOOOOMMMGGG

[narutoffee-deactivated20170731]

*zooms in for a closer look*  —>   original post

[iron25butterfly-deactivated2018]

IS THIS THE REAL DEAL?! DON’T PLAY WITH MY KOKORO!!!

[teamkorrasami]

Uchiha Sarada on SasuSaku

She’s one of us

[sasukemabae]

Sarada: Did my father wear glasses? Sakura: I … don’t think he did… I guess… Sarada: You guess? You’re married to him… and you guess?

Look at this beautiful family portrait. Oh wait, it’s just a picture of Taka, tucked in behind the photos of Sakura and Sarada. What a happy family lmao

[heavenandeart]

Just a little advice for the people who think there is chance for Sasukarin or something like this: No, there isn’t. Sarada Uchiha has been confirmed to be Sasuke Uchiha and Sakura Haruno’s child. It’s in the new Boruto movie’s official page and it has been pretty much confirmed by the VA’s and Kishimoto, also. What the author is trying to do is mislead the audience (since we lately found out how good he is in that) to create a drama, a conflict that can be resolved with the other chapters. We will probably find a dramatic reason why Sasuke hasn’t visited his daughter for 12 years and left them live in a house paid on loans and without a certain future and it will make us feel pity for them (another thing Kishimoto knew how to use) and watch the movie thus give him even more money. He is building up a miserable life for the new main character just so she can get her justice in the end (probably have a heart wrecking SS  moment to apologize for the lack of it)but we also know how many anti fans are there that didn’t like the ending - so much that he said our voice were so high that they reached him and he feels as a victim because of it. He knows anti fans won’t give their money for his bullshit so he is now trying to attract them with misleading - don’t fall for that.

[eclecvtic]

who the fuck is this?

[pjmin]

gintoki’s kid featured in naruto

[midorichan12-deactivated2026041]

DON’T TELL ME THAT GINTOKI ACTUALLY DID GO TO NARUTO’S STORYLINE

[sparda3g]

Like I said, Naruto needs other better series to put it over as a good thing.

[iron25butterfly-deactivated2018]

I am willing to support Gintoki’s child!

[kingfarfigschiter]

god no Naruto doesn't deserve Gintoki or any of Sorachi's characters

[konan-sama-deactivated20161020]

why the hell do Sakura and Shizune look the same age? Shizune is twice Sakura’s age dafuq

[kingfarfigschiter]

Probably using Tsunade's technique to look younger. As to why, well I'm not expecting a serious answer from Kishi.

[sasu-loves-naru]

sasuke is such an amazing dad, he’s been playing hide and seek with his kid for 12 entire years

[50shadesofnarusasu]

Man, his rivalry with Naruto really is some serious shit

[gweatherwax]

The funnier thing about this Naruto Gaiden chapter is that the BEST outcome of it is that Sasuke fucked Sakura once and left, she got pregnant, had the baby and has been LYING TO EVERYONE INCLUDING HER OWN DAUGHTER about having been married to Sasuke WHILE AT THE SAME TIME HIDING THAT SALAD EXISTS FROM HIM.

That is THE best outcome, the only one where there MIGHT be a way for SS to become a real couple, with Sakura explaining to Sasuke that she did all that shit because she was afraid he’d tell her to abort or some other stupid lie like that, then he forgives her because well, at least now he’s not all alone in the world, so even if she’s a lying sack of shit something good came out of it.

ANYTHING ELSE is either NOT possible due to what was portrayed in the chapter, including

Sasuke coming to Konoha to bang Sakura behind Salad’s back,

Salad having met Sasuke several times but having short-memory loss and thus never remembering him,

Sakura and Sasuke having actually gotten married and the wedding picture is with him, that’s why she uses an old picture of him with Taka,

(all of the above are shit I read on the Sasusaku tag *chuckles*)

or DEFINITELY DETRIMENTAL TO SS, like

Sakura having raised Karin’s kid after killing her without Sasuke’s knowledge or after kidnapping the kid from Karin,

Sasuke having given Sakura Karin’s kid to raise,

Sasuke having fucked Sakura and abandoned her for 12 years knowing she had a kid, which he cares so little about he doesn’t even help financially, 

Sakura having fucked clone!Sasuke,

Sakura having used Sasuke’s sperm to impregnate herself without his knowledge,

Sakura having used Sasuke’s sperm to impregnate herself WITH his knowledge and him not giving a flying fuck about what happened to her and the kid.

Any 12 year-old with half a brain can see how TOXIC and INSANE either Sakura, Sasuke or both of them have to be to make SS work now that Kishimoto put those facts out in the manga.

And the fact that NH/SS shippers are perfectly happy with their SS pairing being consisted of toxic insane people only shows what NH/SS shippers are themselves: toxic and insane.