crows remember human faces. they remember the people who feed them, who are kind to them. and the people who wrong them too. they don’t forget. they tell each other who to look after and who to watch out for.
Sometimes I think about making a "novels with queer relationships that are dark and fucked up" rec list for Hannigram folks, but honestly I feel like... some of the books I would put on there would make people run the other way lolol.
Okay, enough people are asking for it so... here it is!
A disclaimer first: part of the reason I was hesitant about doing this is that I don't want anyone to roast me for not being thorough with content warnings/trigger warnings. I don't read original fiction in the same way I read fanfic; I prefer to go in with as little information as possible and be surprised. So I'm not the best at cataloguing warnings. There are a couple on this list that come with some really major ones though so I will try to note that. That said, if you need a thorough CW/TW guide for these books, please google around before reading them! There are sites that compile warnings for books and sometimes reviewers on goodreads include this information too. Part of the reason I'm not looking around for those sites and linking them here is that some of them are like... Christian-run with their "warnings" being more about censorship of books by queer people and POC so... yeah. I don't want to deal with vetting each site and their highly subjective, crowd-sourced warnings system. So again, if you know you are in need of CWs/TWs before reading (which is 100% valid! protect yourself!), please do some internet investigating on these books first.
I'm going to include a link for buying these books from the publisher, but most will be available via library and elsewhere too (like evil Amazon). :)
1. These Violent Delights by Micah Nemerever
Do you like dark academia? Ornate prose and atmospheric collegiate settings with a side of murder, queer obsessive relationships that are mutually destructive, class tension between the wealthy and working class, slowly unfolding/pervasive dread? Then get that library request in for These Violent Delights ASAP! When it was released in 2020, the comp titles for this book were "The Secret History meets Call Me By Your Name," and that's extremely accurate. And like all of the books I'm listing, it's a queer text written by a queer author. A little sample to get your motor running: "He had all but pleaded for it, the precision and scalpel-sharp intimacy of Julian's cruelty. He had needed to remember that they were monstrous together, merciless, twins conjoined at the teeth." Doesn't that make your Hannigram heart beat faster?
2. Things Have Gotten Worse Since We Last Spoke by Eric LaRocca
The jacket summary of this book says it all:
Sadomasochism. Obsession. Death.
A whirlpool of darkness churns at the heart of a macabre ballet between two lonely young women in an internet chat room in the early 2000s--a darkness that threatens to forever transform them once they finally succumb to their most horrific desires.
What have you done today to deserve your eyes?
This lesbian horror novella is a quick read whose stomach-churning body horror reaches a fever pitch at the end and might have you quaking in the night remembering some of your near misses with online relationships with people who were... just a little red flag-ish in a way you couldn't quite put your finger on.
3. The George Miles Cycle, a 5 book cycle of transgressive/experimental literary fiction beginning with Closer by Dennis Cooper
Okay, these are mainly the books that had me worried about making this list. Dennis Cooper is basically the grandaddy of transgressive gay lit in America from the 80s onward, and these books are a huge hot button moment in queer lit/culture but they are NOT for the faint of heart!
CW/TW for these: murder, pedophilia, rape, incest, castration, graphic violence, severe drug abuse, most everything you can think of that is extremely upsetting is in these. I would not read these books unless you are okay with being surprised at every turn and not knowing how grisly the surprise might be.
I remember reading an interview with Cooper where the interviewer asked him what he's afraid of, if he writes such relentlessly taboo books, what does he fear? And he said "I'm scared of the things I write about. That's why I write about them." That makes sense as you read them. Cooper's work always feels like it's asking big questions about life and violence and sex and queerness, unlike his contemporary Bret Easton Ellis, whose work always kind of read like glitzy nihilism and shock value with not much else to prop it up.
At the heart of these books, there's this exploration of the ways people desire control and the ways they lose it, the inherent loneliness of knowing you can't ever really know anyone, and the extremely unsettling intersection of sex and violence. I first read them in college, and they broke my brain open in so many ways. Cooper actually has a new book out this year too so he's still making challenging, strange, queer work.
4. Bath Haus by P.J. Vernon
Could rename this one Sex, Lies, and People Aren't Who You Think They Are! A very queer thriller whose description is pretty spot on:
"Oliver Park, a recovering addict from Indiana, finally has everything he ever wanted: sobriety and a loving, wealthy partner in Nathan, a prominent DC trauma surgeon. Despite their difference in age and disparate backgrounds, they’ve made a perfect life together. With everything to lose, Oliver shouldn’t be visiting Haus, a gay bathhouse. But through the entrance he goes, and it’s a line crossed. Inside, he follows a man into a private room, and it’s the final line. Whatever happens next, Nathan can never know. But then, everything goes wrong, terribly wrong, and Oliver barely escapes with his life.
He races home in full-blown terror as the hand-shaped bruise grows dark on his neck. The truth will destroy Nathan and everything they have together, so Oliver does the thing he used to do so well: he lies."
5. Yes, Daddy by Jonathan Parks-Ramage
CWs/TWs: This is another one that has a LAUNDRY LIST of triggering things. Talk of conversion therapy, drug use, rape, emotional abuse, homophobia, physical abuse, but I am NOT sure I'm covering it all, honestly. So again, this is one I'd suggest doing a thorough google of before diving in.
"Jonah Keller moved to New York City with dreams of becoming a successful playwright, but, for the time being, lives in a rundown sublet in Bushwick, working extra hours at a restaurant only to barely make rent. When he stumbles upon a photo of Richard Shriver—the glamorous Pulitzer Prize–winning playwright and quite possibly the stepping stone to the fame he craves—Jonah orchestrates their meeting. The two begin a hungry, passionate affair.
When summer arrives, Richard invites his young lover for a spell at his sprawling estate in the Hamptons. A tall iron fence surrounds the idyllic compound where Richard and a few of his close artist friends entertain, have lavish dinners, and—Jonah can’t help but notice—employ a waitstaff of young, attractive gay men, many of whom sport ugly bruises. Soon, Jonah is cast out of Richard’s good graces and a sinister underlay begins to emerge. As a series of transgressions lead inexorably to a violent climax, Jonah hurtles toward a decisive revenge that will shape the rest of his life."
I could definitely make this list longer if I think on it some more, but I think this is a good post length for now. I wish I had some women on this list though. In my experience, women have a really hard time breaking into publishing with challenging, dark work, especially when it's queer. :/ (Ask me how I know lol.) I have a lot of favorite women authors who write fucked up, complex female characters, but the ones who come to mind aren't queer or writing queer stories (Megan Abbott, Ottessa Moshfegh, Mary Gaitskill, Gillian Flynn, etc.) so if anyone has some favorite women to add, please do!
Was about to tag all the people who requested this list, hoping none of them throw things at me for including some extremely edgy books haha, but then I was like "maybe they don't want to be forever tagged in something like this." So... maybe I'll just DM y'all.
It was the promise that let him sleep at night, that drove him every day, that kept Jordie’s ghost at bay. Because a quick death was too good for Pekka Rollins.
You see that girl over there? That’s Romilda Vane. Apparently, she’s trying to smuggle you a love potion. Really? Hey! She’s only interested in you because she thinks you’re The Chosen One.
The moment Inej says, “I will have you without armor, Kaz Brekker. Or I will not have you at all,” in the tv show my soul will transcend this plane of existence.
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