anata.

not a lover; not to loved. // she/her

[pink-heart-writes]

now i am forced to somehow un-love you. as if i never craved your touch, your kiss, or simply your presence across the room. i am forced to pretend this heart is not longing for your return. we are now two strangers who shared a past, and an imaginary future together. i am forced to dry my tears at night and make myself believe this is for the better. my arms no longer have a home. and your absence will forever torment my soul.

- nick <3 (i am forced to forget us)

[kohiicedpan]

my unwavering affection for you

is immeasurable by ocean blue

you pull the unseen forces inside me

untangling the messes—free.

rising above love

; kohiicedpan | 240407

[kohiicedpan]

sometimes i just want to quit

my life is just full of regret

(2212)

[kohiicedpan]

everyday is a struggle of “i shouldn’t have woken up”

[kittybean33]

[kohiicedpan]

i do not want to belong in present nor future anymore.

[sadbitchhxx--deactivated-deacti]

idk why, but i really feel like i need a break from being alive.

[kohiicedpan]

i need one, but longer.

[slxttycutsblog-deactivated20230]

[kohiicedpan]

ahh yess, all the time in all places ✨

[mermaidinthedeepocean]

[borderlinexcrazy]

any room can be a panic room if you just give me a fucking second

[queerdnp]

cozy girl forced to get out of bed no survivors

[hxrnyonmain-deactivated20220829]

Sorry I didn't get back to you it's just that I'm completely unfit for human interaction.

[kohiicedpan]

i’m making all the reasons

to breathe this life

even if i stand in front of the mirror

telling my reflection words i least want to hear——

“everything’s fine”

yes, it is;

true from the outsider’s eyes

true that i took all of these words

with belief and

with my foot sinking six feet under.

𝙛𝙤𝙤𝙡𝙞𝙨𝙝 𝙢𝙖𝙠𝙚-𝙗𝙚𝙡𝙞𝙚𝙫𝙚

|- 𝚔𝚘𝚑𝚒𝚒𝚌𝚎𝚍𝚙𝚊𝚗, 𝟸𝟶𝟸𝟸

[kohiicedpan]

a ᴅᴀᴜɴᴛʟᴇss ᴏᴜᴛᴄᴀsᴛ lurks behind the curtain dressed discreetly yet sensibly beastly.

all it awaits is to stand on stage— to read aloud someone’s script

just before the light goes for the layman audaciously come’s flying, the culprit,

stealing lines from a hard-earned credit— the 𝚕𝚊𝚢𝚖𝚊𝚗’𝚜 𝟾-𝟻 𝚙𝚛𝚘𝚏𝚒𝚝.

𝒘𝒂𝒌𝒊𝒏𝒈 𝒖𝒑 𝒕𝒐 𝒘𝒐𝒓𝒌 𝒂𝒏𝒅 𝒔𝒐𝒎𝒆𝒕𝒊𝒎𝒆𝒔 𝒍𝒊𝒗𝒆

|- 𝚔𝚘𝚑𝚒𝚒𝚌𝚎𝚍𝚋𝚛𝚎𝚊𝚍, 𝟸0𝟸𝟷

[kohiicedpan]

i want to disown this feeling—

feeling that disrupts my emotion

i want to discard this thought—

thought that brings frustration

i just want to lay them all at once

in a serene place, resting.

𝒍𝒐𝒐𝒌𝒊𝒏𝒈 𝒇𝒐𝒓 𝒑𝒂𝒓𝒂𝒅𝒊𝒔𝒆

|-𝚔𝚘𝚑𝚒𝚒𝚌𝚎𝚍𝚋𝚛𝚎𝚊𝚍, 𝟸𝟶𝟸𝟶

[kohiicedpan]

yesterday i was in cloud nine

today i’m feeling blue

tomorrow, tomorrow

will the sun shine?

or will it rain sorrow?

𝒊𝒓𝒓𝒆𝒈𝒖𝒍𝒂𝒓

—𝚔𝚘𝚑𝚒𝚒𝚌𝚎𝚍𝚋𝚛𝚎𝚊𝚍, 𝟸𝟶𝟸𝟶

[kohiicedpan]

i don’t feel right

i can’t feel anything

something’s coming—

big and might

someone, something

makes my breathing tight

is this alright?

drowning every night?

𝒂𝒓𝒆 𝒚𝒐𝒖 𝒂𝒍𝒓𝒊𝒈𝒉𝒕? 𝒂𝒎 𝒊?

—𝚔𝚘𝚑𝚒𝚒𝚌𝚎𝚍𝚋𝚛𝚎𝚊𝚍, 𝟸𝟶𝟸𝟶

[kohiicedpan]

every night you have been crawling

into that deep dark abyss

all you know that is where you belong

and any more deeper, you’ll start crumbling

losing that sweet bliss

you have all along.

𝒅𝒓𝒂𝒘𝒏 𝒊𝒏𝒕𝒐 𝒅𝒂𝒓𝒌𝒏𝒆𝒔𝒔

—𝚔𝚘𝚑𝚒𝚒𝚌𝚎𝚍𝚋𝚛𝚎𝚊𝚍, 𝟸𝟶𝟸𝟶