aye can i get uh………ingredients on my burger
beetroot?
you want beetroot?
you want fucking beet root?
ingredience

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PUT YOUR BEARD IN MY MOUTH

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@koifishpondsposts
aye can i get uh………ingredients on my burger
beetroot?
you want beetroot?
you want fucking beet root?
ingredience
Imagine being one of the parents for the kids in the Magic School Bus class. Getting those field trip permission slips home every single night.
Like what, another one? Doesn’t she teach? This just says Inside a Dog
Ms Frizzle sending you one (1) permission slip at the beginning of the year to cover all the field trips and you’re like huh that’s a little unusual but I guess it’s efficient at least and then you open it and it’s written like This
admittedly i know little of the subject but one would think, at 45 years of age, he would be a ryan goose by now
idc about fluoride in the water supply im petitioning my congressman to add a drop of that mysterious green fluid that emits a ghostly green skull when you put it in
just one☝️drop a week could turn everyone sickly
boss, is this stuff supposed to make pink smoke hearts?
wuhoh
anybody out there hiring gay losers. ideally a 100k/year salary and i work for one hour every day when i feel like it. thanks
you know what? fuck it, man. the world is held in the fists of people who like to break things. at this point i’m saying who gives a shit. wear that victorian dress you don’t have an excuse for. dress up like a witch, pointed hat and all. who cares anymore. why worry about it when there’s bigger stuff to worry on. i’m saying. yeah, this lipstick is too dark, wanna share? i’m saying go talk to her, tell her that you like her hair. i’m saying she’s out of my league but i’m still swinging, i’m saying yeah i’m in a ballgown and it’s a pta meeting. what about it. eat the extra brownie, tell her your feelings. i’m saying if nothing matters than we might as well give nothing meaning.
#i’m saying if existence is a void at least i’m going down screaming.
it’s been 9 years since i wrote this. i was experiencing 24/7 anxiety so badly that i needed serious medication. these days in the back of my car is an “emergency party box.” when people admit they no longer really celebrate their birthday; i tell them to put the sash on and queue up kesha, we’re going bowling or something. these days i can’t spin around without finding something i am enamored with. these days i list 3 things i’m grateful for before i fall asleep. you’re probably one of them, just by virtue of you existing.
at the time i wrote this, i was suffering through a severe panic attack literally every night. i tortured my brother with constant 2 AM calls just to hear someone else breathing, because i couldn’t be alone in the silence.
i rarely wish i was still 23 even though ironically i had more hope back then. what i can tell you is this: i love the same way, but bigger now. i’ve worn the velvet cape to several business meetings. i spent thursday in a crop top without caring what my stomach looked like.
i told her i like her; i often dress as a witch. i still got glass in my foot this morning. i’ve kissed maybe a thousand people since then and met a million more than that; passing like the shadow of a hammerhead in trains and planes and buses.
i saw you, beloved, there, maybe, on platform in south station. you didn’t speak, but you said: i struggle to give the nothing meaning. the nothing fills up everything. it is just loud and yellowed panicked silence. i can’t stop shaking.
on the roof, birds curl together against the chilled spring wind. the sky outside of the craft store was an iridescent pink. the nothing already had meaning; you are giving it meaning by witnessing.
the act of living, beloved: it’s just decoding how to translate it.
hey everyone "I" have something to show "you"
big fan of whatever the youth is doing to torment scientology buildings
this is what prank youtubers and content creators should have been doing this whole time instead of harassing minimum wage service employees at fast food restaurants
Sorry I started sobbing uncontrollably when you expressed the slightest concern for my lack of human connection, and casually mentioned you think I deserve better than a life of isolation and loneliness. Super weird. Not sure what was up with that lol. You still think I’m cool and mysterious and sexy, right?
i think i'd be checking my phone in the cuck chair to be honest
messed up that you can literally be better and nicer in every way and the adventuring party will still be like "waaa its a shapeshifter waaaa the real whatstheirface would never say that" like ok maybe i am a picture perfect copy of your friend that i imprisoned beneath the earth and replaced when you werent looking. so what. maybe they were a cunt. maybe i thought youd appreciate an improved version of your friend. with awesome eldritch tendrils.
Cemeteries are not wastes of space. Historical cemeteries ESPECIALLY are not wastes of space. The fact developers are continuously foaming at the mouth to destroy them and put a strip mall up in their place should make you even more determined to help maintain them. In urban areas, they are a haven for wildlife. They are a green space. If you are too afraid of death to utilize them for that purpose, that is on you.
Thank you. Historically cemeteries were treated as parks, and it wasn't uncommon to see people not only enjoying the grounds but actually playing games and having picnics there. Somewhere along the line we decided that these activities were inappropriate and that cemeteries were off limits and now people see them as wasted space because they feel too awkward to enjoy them.
They're not only beautiful green spaces but excellent public displays of history and art history, and if you care to look closely you can find out a lot just by studying stones.
For example- notice how few modern headstones are dedicated to young children versus the ones erected before vaccines were widespread.
The cemetery near here has the state's largest silver maple crowning its grounds. Many of the trees in older cemeteries are some of the largest and oldest trees in an area.
Cemeteries are for the living, not the dead. Enjoy them. Go birdwatching in them. Don't be stupid in them sure but don't be too afraid to touch them either.
And for the love of God don't mindlessly support turning them into parking lots and ""luxury"" condos.
Now golf courses, on the other hand…
hey guys is there a nice wizard on tumblr or is it only the evil one
it’s just me
sticks my finger in the barrel of your gun so it backfires on you looney toons style but the gun moaned and now none of us know what genre we're in.
obsessed with the way my robotics team lead talks
she’s reinventing hieroglyphics
She’s the only person who truly understands how emojis were meant to be used.
terrible mishap in the dungeon today after the gelatinous slime took a nap in my jello cup. we will all miss wiggly steve
In the aaarms of the angellllllssss…
Give it 3 days. Slimes don't get digested.
funeral CANCELLED im going to the hospital
does this to you
wait the gif didn't even post. does a mysterious & unknown thing to you i guess