WHO IS NAMING THESE?
dirt enthusiast
cherry valley forever
šŖ¼
Cosimo Galluzzi
Three Goblin Art

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we're not kids anymore.

Andulka
One Nice Bug Per Day

⣠Chile in a Photography ā£
RMH
YOU ARE THE REASON

Janaina Medeiros
Game of Thrones Daily
Aqua Utopiaļ½ęµ·ć®åŗć§čØę¶ćē“”ć
taylor price

blake kathryn
PUT YOUR BEARD IN MY MOUTH
sheepfilms
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@kojote
WHO IS NAMING THESE?
noted feminist loid forger chugging ārespect womenās choicesā juice | SPY X FAMILY
I just started an anime called Spy x Family, and Iāve just finished Episode 2, and I am immediately on board for Loid/Yor. Theyāre perfect for each other. Theyāre incredibly deadly, extremely physically competent absolute morons who have no idea how normal people function and therefore have completely failed to register that the other person in this fake relationship is absolutely 100% not a normal person. Yes Yor, psychiatrists normally have running car chases and gun battles with entire gangs of their patients, thatās a normal thing that happens. Yes Loid, civil servants taught self defense by their brothers can absolutely kick a grown man the full length of an alleyway in one hit. Completely fine and normal. In no way is your fake partner actually a spy/assassin pretending very clumsily to be normal. Proposing in an alleyway with a ring freshly pulled off a grenade while the explosion goes off in the background is how most people arrange fake marriages to reassure their brother/get their child into very specific prestigious school. Totally.
Itās like they both gently glided past each otherās trained/situational paranoia by virtue of a fantastic combination of āI need a fake husband/wife right nowā and āhow much physical lethality do normal people have again?ā and āoh theyāre really soft and cute and look out for their family, they must be a nice safe personā and āalso theyāre casually and instinctively nice to me, and they absolutely wouldnāt be if they knew what I really am, but itās sort of nice while theyāre oblivious?ā
Like, he shows up to her party covered in blood, and she kneejerk instinctively catches a flung tray with her foot, and they just ⦠draw no inferences whatsoever from any of it. At all.
Theyāre incredibly competent and incredibly broken morons and theyāve accidentally perfect-stormed each other, and itās beautiful.
Meanwhile, Loid has also acquired an incredibly broken absolute moron of a telepathic orphan who is desperately pretending to be normal, not telepathic, and also about two years older than she actually is in order to be adopted by the spy-trying-desperately-to-be-sociopathic-about-this while simultaneously trying not to realise that he would die for her literally five minutes after meeting her. And the telepathic five year old is the only one who knows whatās going on. At least to the limits of how much a five year old, telepathic or otherwise, understands anything thatās going on.
Iām two episodes in and this show is already the absolute perfect storm of āfound family made up of absolutely broken, competent and adorable idiots who all think theyāre worthless but would die for any of the others immediately and without so much as blinkingā, while also simultaneously being a perfect storm of āspies, assassins, child experimentation, identity porn, explosively lurking secrets and liesā AND āslice of life fake dating romance with adorable idiot child shenanigansā.
This show is like someone distilled out everything good about fanfic and made it a canon, and itās perfect.
Fate/Grand Order is a wonderful story where Florence Nightingale gets into an epic DBZ fistfight with the 72 demons possessing the corpse of King Solomon.
#thatās the show
happy birthday to every trans person all at once
I got a tumblr, it really was quite great
I blog about a lot of things, but mostly what I ate.
I thought it was a sweet gig, it really was quite cushy.
Then they went and banned me, ācause all I ate was pussy.
I signed up on tumblr, I didnāt know what to expect.
I thought I could just post and not worry about being fact checked
But once my posts went viral, no one saw my genius
Now all they do is reblog and say ākung pow penis.ā
Iām a YA book author, I have a tumblr too
I post a lot of info, for my tumblypoos
But then one day my time was up, I read it on the clock
And now my most famous post is about how I love cock
i made a tumblr, and it didnt go great
whenever i make a post, all i get is hate
arguing with strangers, it really is a slog
i know all about politics, i run a hentai blog
One day I made a Tumblr, now I've been here ten years,
I've stayed through every update that left the userbase in tears,
And I don't regret a second, for here's the truth, you see:
I'm not locked in here with you, friend; you're locked in here with me.
nobody on this site is ever ever EVER going to top running a blog dedicated entirely to posting cute pics of sweet old dogs in a shelter for a year and gradually becoming one of the most recognized blogs on the website, then without warning dropping āi just want to get dicked down again =/ā with 0 explanation and abandoning the blog. not deleting it, not explaining anything, just leaving the whole thing as a monument. fucking flawless posting. literally the best of all time.
Donāt forget the absolute cherry on top that was reaching out to the actual dog shelter to tell them their tumblr account got hacked, only for them to say,Ā āWeāve never had a tumblr accountā
people on tumblr are starting to develop a 4chan-esque internet tough guy complex about posting here, which is very funny given that this is the smol bean superwholock feels website
Calliope "Come Back With a Warrant" Mori
We need to have a nomination forĀ āStupidest thing Tumblr.com has ever believedā and just move into an official Top 10 List.
For my nominations, Iām putting up:
If you eat a chocolate bar a very specific way, you will break physics and get infinite chocolate.
or
It is impossible that you spelledĀ āBerenstain Bearsā wrong and is, instead, more likely that the universe fractured into separate, overlapping realities in the last 20 years.
I canāt decide which is more beautiful. Itās why we need a vote.
this is a picture of the human brain at the moment of death. tragic and beautiful
Fuck. That is a damn good nomination.
if you close your eyes when the train hits your brain will assume you are dead. Some find this comforting.
Weāre getting into the good ones now. This is some classic Tumblr.
Two old favourites:
āBitch, Thatās the Tubby Custard Machineā (http://imgur.com/gallery/IObQF)
and the horse dildo that was passed off as someoneās arm. (http://abakkus.tumblr.com/post/48958415162)
This is rapidly becoming a master post of ignorances and I could not possibly be happier.
Rare blue watermelon
That disease where you get purple eyes, no period, and no body hair
How have we gone this far without anyone mentioning the bird in the chocolate fountain
soap makes water molecules smaller
I nominate the āwe are killing the earthā picture of the earth in comparison from 1978 to 2012
the dog with the slice of ham on its face that everyone thought was a gigantic burn scar
āTequila is the only alcohol thats not a depressant so you can drink as much of it as you likeā
that post with the picture of the joker without makeup and people thinking it was a real person and defending him
that photo of voldemort being passed off as an aborted fetus
The two way mirror
ālisten here, cumslut.ā
I canāt believe you guys forgot someone trying to pass off a picture of the inside of a fig as a microscopic view of the inside of a vagina.
I canāt believe I was on Tumblr for every single one of these posts.
all the links on this post are broken and some arent given so heres a compilation of links for the stupidest things tumblr has believed (i tried to find the og post for most of these but some of them are posts/articles about said posts)
infinite chocolate hack
berensta/ein bears (mandela effect)
mri scan walking dead gif
train gif brain thinks you died
tubby custard machine
horse dildo
moonmelon (and variations)
alexandriaās genisis
bird chocolate fountain og post
soap shrinks water molecules
we are killing the earth
ham on dog
tequila isnt a depressant
earth is lumpy
joker without makeup
voldemort fetus
two way mirror og post
fig vagina
date of origin: November 14th, 2015
So, I heard the Sesshou-Seki broke in half
Tamamo real