description: love was never easy. it was never meant to be easy. however, dating an idol, especially someone like choi seungcheol, was a whole different playing field, but love conquers all, doesn’t it?
a/n: hello everyone! it’s been a minute since one of us posted, but we have both been super busy with work since school let out. that’s what happens when you decide to drop tickets on seeing the boyz lmao but we will try to post more frequently!
You should have known what you were getting yourself into when you agreed to date an idol. You should have known that it wasn’t going to be a normal relationship. There wasn’t going to be any spontaneous dates, no random adventures, not even late night trips to the convenience store.
You thought you could handle it. The “love conquers all” attitude. In your mind, that’s what could get you through it.
Because you did love Choi Seungcheol. You loved Choi Seungcheol more than anyone on the planet.
But it wasn’t enough.
The hiding, the sneaking around, the brief interactions on music shows. It became too much, but the breaking point occurred because of something neither you nor him imagined.
Publicity to some might be considered the most important thing for an idol. Whether good or bad, it was still publicity. It was still putting your name out there. You thought Seventeen had enough support, especially since they broke into the U.S market. Their fandom was growing and growing everyday.
So when Seungcheol explained to you that Pledis Entertainment wanted him to “fake date” someone under JYP, you didn’t know what to say. You didn’t honestly understand why it was necessary. You, of course, didn’t want him to fake date anyone, but he didn’t have an option. The company didn’t know that you two were together, so he couldn’t refuse a direct command from his CEO.
He insisted that it was going to be fine. It was only going to be brief outings together that were able to be photographed by Dispatch and other media outlets.
That was true at the beginning and you honestly weren’t bothered because at the end of the day, Seungcheol was in love with you. You knew that.
But brief outings turned into co-hosting events, shared variety shows, and countless interviews. Soon, you grew sick of the headlines and of the couple interview questions. It wasn’t long before the sickness grew into jealousy and hatred toward the female idol.
It was clear that she was taking the “fake dating” much more seriously than Seungcheol. She looked at him like he was the reason for her whole existence. It wasn’t long before your insecurities began to take over. Did Seungcheol actually love you? Were you enough for him?
You found yourself at a standstill unable to talk to Seungcheol about how you felt. He was your boyfriend. You loved him and that was exactly the reason why you couldn’t voice your concerns to him. You didn’t want to come across as the jealous girlfriend that was incapable of trust.
That left Lee Chan as your only option. The happy sunshine understood what you were feeling and offered assurance. He insisted that Seungcheol only had eyes for you even if his fake girlfriend viewed him more as a friend. Nothing was going to happen between them and that was final.
For awhile, Chan’s advice calmed your thoughts and your jealousy. Everything was going fine, exactly like Seungcheol said.
Until New Year’s Eve hit.
Never did you think your New Year’s Eve would be ruined be a picture that Dispatch posted.
A picture of Seungcheol and the girl kissing.
That’s when you decided that you couldn’t take it anymore. Dating an idol was too much.
Seungcheol was the one who called you first. He had seen the picture and wanted you to know that she had kissed him first. He had to go along with it because of the cameras, but he desperately wanted to push her away. He said that kissing her made him feel sick. He was sick because it wasn’t you.
You broke up with him that night. You had reached your breaking point. You were tired of the insecurity that you were feeling, you were tired of the jealousy, of the fear that Seungcheol would leave you in the end.
The moment the words left your mouth, you wanted to take them back. He begged you to stay; to reconsider, but you already made your decision. You loved Choi Seungcheol. You loved Choi Seungcheol more than anyone on the planet, but this time, you had to put yourself first.
That was a year ago.
A lot of things change in a year’s time. Things happen in this world without warning. Things just happen whether you want them to or not.
You weren’t exactly sure how it happened or when. Maybe it was when he picked you up to go get milkshakes after you called him crying about how much you missed Seungcheol. Maybe it was when he randomly bought you flowers for your birthday. Maybe it was the night when you finally let your guard down and let him fall asleep next to you.
Somehow, some way, your heart surrendered itself to Lee Chan and it was the most wonderful feeling.
You swore you would never date another idol let alone someone from Seventeen, but he made you feel wanted and loved. He made you feel like the most important person in his life because that’s exactly what you were. You were his world and you always had been even when you were with Chan.
At the beginning of the relationship, you worried about hurting Seungcheol. Chan was one of his best friends. There was no way he couldn’t be hurt by your actions, but he never reached out to you. He never made an attempt to say one word to you, so soon, your heartache faded to indifference.
You figured he had moved on as well, so you were shocked to see the new notification pop up on your phone as Chan slept curled up next to you.
One new voicemail from Seungcheol
You debated on deleting the message. You debated on avoiding his words. There would be no point in hearing what he had to say now. It wouldn’t change anything. You would still be in love with Chan and your relationship with Seungcheol would be nothing but a distant memory.
But even after all this time, you couldn’t bear to ignore him. You just couldn’t do it.
With a shaky breath, you moved the phone up to your ear.
“Uh, hey, it’s Cheol. I know it has been awhile, but I just felt like I had to reach out to you. I know you may not want to talk to me and if so, I get it. I didn’t exactly put you first in our relationship and for that, I am truly sorry. For what it’s worth, the fake dating thing is over, which I’m sure you knew from Chan.”
His voice sounded as angelic as you remembered it, but there was also a hint of tiredness behind it. So faint that if you didn’t know any better, you would have missed it. The boy let out a sigh as he continued.
“It’s weird. The thought of you with Chan. If i’m honest, I should have seen it coming. I felt it in my bones. He always treated you with respect. He always made time for you when I wasn’t around. I can’t just sit around and say that seeing you with him doesn’t hurt me because it does. It really does, but I hope you’re happy. I hope he makes you happy.”
Seungcheol went silent. The only sound being heard through the phone was his breathing. You felt like you were holding your breath. Was he going to continue? Was that all he had to say to you after a year of no communication?
Your ex-boyfriend let out a scoff. “It would be pointless to say that I miss you, wouldn’t it? I say that I wish for your happiness even when it absolutely destroys me. You were right when you always had that relationships were crazy.”
His last line made tears drip down your cheeks and you prayed that you wouldn’t wake the dark-haired boy next to you.
“That ’s all I needed to know, that you are doing fine.”
description: when you joined the baseball team, you knew you were finally fitting in. you were finally becoming the person you wanted to be, but one game may soon lead to your whole world imploding.
a/n: hey guys! I know it was stated at the beginning of this blog that all imagines would involve a gender neutral reader, but this is something I've had done for awhile. as someone who is transgender, I wish there were more ftm to stories/imagines, so I figured I would contribute!
everything was spinning as you lowered yourself down on the bench. your legs felt like jelly and your ribs burnt like fire. your face was coated with a fine layer of sweat and you had to resist the urge to rest your cheek against the cold metal bench. the nausea in your stomach made it hard to focus. you didn’t even notice that someone had yanked your baseball helmet off until a stream of cold water met your head, drenching your unruly black hair and running under the collar of the 87 jersey you were currently wearing.
“are you sure you’re okay, y/n?” your teammate, kevin, asked, raking his hand through your wet hair in an attempt to get it out of your face. “you look like you’re overheating.”
if it was a normal day, you would be mentally freaking out over the fact that the boy who you had a crush on since seventh grade year was running his hands through your hair, but your brain felt too much like mush in your head.
you squinted up at kevin and breathing through the pain in your ribs, you spoke. “i’m fine.”
“you don’t look fine to me, y/n,” your baseball coach countered, jogging up to where you were sitting. “you’ve been off since warm-ups and i can tell your brain isn’t in the game today. that’s the reason why i called a timeout. I think you should stay on the bench for the reminder of the time.”
almost immediately, you shook your head, water droplets still falling from your hair. “no, I can play. i’m okay. it’s just hot out today. the water kevin poured on my head helped.”
you desperately hoped that your voice sounded convincing. coach mulled over your words for a few seconds before releasing a sigh. “fine, but if i think for a moment that you’re unfit to play, i’m pulling you out whether you like it or not. now, let’s get back in the game. it’s your turn to pitch.”
you nodded as kevin grabbed onto your hands, pulling you to your feet. you held back a cry of pain as your ribs were set ablaze once again.
kevin gave you a look of concern before running out toward the outfield. you slipped on your mitt, running toward the pitcher’s mound. you could hardly breathe as you attempted to zero in on the area you were supposed to aim for. your limbs felt heavy as you lifted your left leg, letting the ball fly.
you honestly weren’t even sure how you were still standing. the black stars exploding in your line of vision made you feel disoriented and it felt like there was weight on your chest. you were so focused on not passing out that you didn’t even notice the batter make contact with the ball, sending it flying in your direction.
“y/n!” kevin called out while the rest of the team called, “heads up!”
kevin rushed toward you, but he wasn’t quick enough. the ball made a sickening crack as hit the side of your head, knocking you to the ground. you weren’t even awake when you hit the dirt mound below.
｡☆✼★━━━━━━━━━━━━★✼☆｡
the moment you woke up, it felt like someone had taken a sledgehammer to your skull. your hand moved up to touch your temple, but instead it came in contact with soft material, which could only be gauze. you let out a groan as you attempted to open your eyes only to be greeted by harsh light. you were in the nurse’s office.
“what happened?” you asked, feeling movement to your left. you turned your head, causing another burst of black to enter your vision, to see juyeon positioned next to your bed.
“a baseball hit you in the head,” your best friend and fellow teammate explained, grabbing a hold of your hand in preparation to pull you off of your back. “how do you feel? are you dizzy? is the pain bad?”
“on a scale of one to ten, I would say-” you let out a yelp as juyeon pulled you up into a sitting position. your hand instinctively moved to your rib cage. you expected your fingers to come in contact with the fabric of your baseball uniform, but instead, you touched bare skin.
“why is my jersey unbuttoned?” you asked, your breath coming out heavy.
juyeon sighed. “when kevin carried you in, you weren’t breathing right. the nurse had to check your heart and-”
your eyes widened as you searched the black-haired boy’s face. “does he know?” your voice was barely above a whisper.
juyeon gave you a sad look. “I tried to get him to leave before the nurse did anything, but he was worried about you. he wanted to stay.”
an involuntary sound left your lungs as you realized the power that your best friend’s words held. the secret you had been hiding your entire middle and high school career was out and it wasn’t even your decision. a sob escaped your lungs, intensifying the pain in your ribs and chest.
“hey, hey,” juyeon whispered, cupping your face. “breathe, okay? crying is only going to make your ribs hurt worse. the nurse wanted to take it off of you, but your dad told her to wait until he got here.” he gently pulled you against his body, being careful to not squeeze you too hard. “you shouldn’t have slept in it last night. my family wouldn’t have noticed anything. i should have made you take it off.”
you pulled back from juyeon, your eyes filled with tears. “he’s going to tell everyone. the whole school is going to know. i’ll get kicked off the team.”
your words caught in your throat as the nurse’s office door opened and kevin stepped in. you wanted to scream as the older boy’s eyes darted down to the binder constricting your chest. “i’m not going to tell anyone, y/n.”
“why? because you don’t want to expose the transgender kid?’ you spat out.
kevin gave you a small smile. “no, because I care about the boy in front of me.”
warnings: mentions of a period, first time smut, protected sex, slight marking, very soft sex
word count: 1k
written by: ollie
description: falling for your best friend was a never good idea, but you’ve always known that you weren’t the smartest when it came to him.
a/n: I hope this turned out okay considering this is the first svt imagine on this account. however, let me guys know if you would want a part two!
over half the population is lucky to have someone they call their best friend. someone who they can rely on, someone who treats them kindly and fairly. someone who is always there for them.
luckily, you were one of those people.
since the young age of two, you and soonyoung have been glued to each other thanks to your parents being friends prior to the birth of you both. you guys took baths together, often slept in the same bed, and almost always cried when you two were apart.
upon entering preschool and kindergarten, your parents had to request putting you in the same class as soonyoung. not because they wanted you guys to be together, but because you two were in a different classroom for only a week and every single day soonyoung strolled into your classroom like he owned the place before plopping down next to you and refusing to leave.
there were no boundaries between you and soonyoung. absolutely none at all.
at age thirteen, soonyoung was the one who guided you through your first period. although you knew you were around the age when you were supposed to start, you definitely weren't expecting it to happen that day or at school. the moment you realized what the weird feeling in your pants meant, you automatically ran to soonyoung's classroom, somehow making up some excuse to get him out.
he knew something was wrong by your facial expressions and the moment he opened his mouth to speak, you were already in tears, trying to form the words to explain to him what was occurring.
it didn't take long for him to understand. soonyoung quickly took you to a bathroom he knew wasn't used very often before running up to the office and stealing a pad from the nurse's station while her back was turned. once he returned to you, he calmly explained everything that was happening and what you were supposed to do to make everything better.
little did he know, he was the one who made everything better.
at age fourteen, he was your first kiss. it was nothing too extreme. just a small kiss that lasted a mere four seconds, but it set your heart ablaze just the same.
once you both reached high school, you began to drift apart, not by choice. different classes just got in the way along with different friend groups, but you always tried to find time for kwon soonyoung.
you knew from that first kiss that you had feelings for him; however, you chose to keep quiet. what if he didn't like you back? what if you ruined the best friendship in your life?
so you just pushed the feelings away and hoped to god that maybe you would start liking someone else. sadly, that didn't happen and you had to witness soonyoung go through his first relationship.
he truly adored her and you could see that, but you couldn't help but wish that you were the one that made him happy.
the night she broke up with him, you held him while he cried.
and you continued to love him in silence.
well, until the night of june 4th.
you and soonyoung were in his bedroom, lying next to one another just enjoying each other's presence. his mother was out for the night, so it was just the two of you.
you weren't exactly sure how everything started. maybe it was soonyoung lazily stroking your hair or whispering soft words to you, but it started something amazing.
the next thing you knew soonyoung was asking if you ever had sex. without even hesitating, you told him no. it was obvious that he had as a result of his previous relationship, but soonyoung would never admit that he took pride in the fact that no man had touched you yet.
"trust me, it feels good."
"i wouldn't know."
your lips would be mere inches apart when soonyoung whispered the words that shocked you to your core.
"then let me show you how good it feels."
his lips would meet yours in a soft kiss, his hands cupping your face. that's how it would start. with soft kisses along the face and neck until soonyoung took the opportunity to roll himself on top of you.
he would grin against your skin as he sucked lightly at the soft flesh on your neck, causing you to wrap your arms around his shoulders.
minutes would pass (to you it only felt like seconds) before suddenly both of you were completely naked. all your clothes in a pile on the floor.
soonyoung would lean back to observe you. his eyes would linger over your entire body. your flushed cheeks and your fingers which were gripping onto the sheets made him feel a sense of pride because he hadn't even entered you yet, but you were already this much of a mess just because of his tongue.
he leaned down to press a small kiss close to your ear.
"hold on to me, princess."
those would be the last words he would mumble to you before pushing in and causing a moan to leave your lips.
"that's my good girl. come on, i want you to say my name."
as the night progressed on, soonyoung's bedroom was only filled with the sounds of grunts and groans. skin making contact with skin and an occasionally, a "oh, fuck" from his lips could be heard.
his teeth would sink into your shoulder the moment he released and before you knew it, it was over and soonyoung collapsed beside you.
both of you breathing heavily as soonyoung pulled you into his chest. the cool air the ceiling fan was creating, causing goosebumps to rise on your heated skin.
"fuck, i should have done that a long time ago."
you nuzzled your face against soonyoung's neck as he grip tightened on you. "so what does this make us?"
soonyoung could barely keep his eyes open as he responded, his voice low.
"just go to sleep, princess. we'll figure everything out in the morning."
warnings: mentions of self-doubt and not feeling good enough
word count: 689
written by: ollie
description: when your boyfriend experiences self-doubt, it is your job to make sure he knows his worth.
a/n: I may be a little late, but here’s a small changbin imagine to celebrate the release of oddinary!
“honestly, what's even the point?"
you quickly glanced up from your laptop as changbin barged into the dorm room you shared with your best friend. he ripped his hat off his head, throwing it onto your bed along with his backpack. the dark circles under his eyes were more apparent than they were when you saw the boy yesterday at dinner.
he seemed frantic and you were pretty sure he was wearing the same clothes that he had on yesterday.
"what's wrong?" you asked, turning around in your chair to look at your pacing boyfriend.
he let out a heavy sigh. "what's the point to even studying music when it's obvious that i'm not going to make it anywhere? like i am spending thousand of dollars to learn everything about producing and the recording industry, yet i haven't even wrote an actually decent song for like two weeks."
changbin ran his fingers through his dark-hair and all you wanted to do was wrap your arms around his figure.
you always knew that seo changbin struggled with feelings of self-doubt; feelings of not being good enough. there were often multiple nights where both of you were up until three or four in the morning, you desperately trying to soothe the boy to sleep.
"everyone has writer's block, changbin. just because you are having trouble writing doesn't mean you won't make it in the industry. i promise you that."
your boyfriend's response was automatic. "but chan never has writer's block ever. he literally can sit down and write six songs in two hours if he wanted without any issue. he's the top of our music class and pretty much already has his life planned out."
changbin popped down onto the hardwood floor, a tired sigh leaving his lungs. he glanced up at you before speaking once more.
“and you know what makes me feel so horrible, y/n? I think deep down that makes me hate him. everything comes so easily to chan and sometimes I find myself being filled up with so much envy and angry when I see him. when I work with him. he’s supposed to be my best friend. why do I feel this way about my best friend?”
having christopher bang, the music prodigy of the entire university, date your roommate was blessing in this situation because you knew that changbin's words weren't exactly true. you had been in the dorm countless times when bang chan vented about how he couldn't write to save his life. there was even one instance where you came back to grab something for your afternoon class only to find the green-haired boy sobbing in your best friend's arms. he wasn’t as perfect as your boyfriend thought he was.
however, you knew changbin wouldn't believe you if said that bang chan felt the same way he did, but it killed you that he felt so low of himself.
you moved yourself down to his level, wrapping your arms around the taller boy. he rested his chin on your head, a quiet sob left his body and your heart broke. your hand slowly made circles across his back, hoping to provide some sort of comfort.
slowly, you pulled away from him, resting your forehead against his. "listen to me, seo changbin, you are talented, intelligent, and the absolute love of my life. music is your favorite thing on this planet and you are wonderful at it even if you don't think so.
“the envy and anger you feel toward chan does not make you a bad person. it does not make you a bad friend. those feelings are normal to experience, but i want you to understand that chan has moments where he can’t write songs too. everyone struggles sometimes, baby. you aren’t alone in that,” you ran your hand softly through his hair. “now, please don't talk so low of yourself, okay? i love you too much to let you talk about yourself like that.”
changbin let out a chuckle that offset the tears flowing down his face. "somehow you always know what to say. thank you for staying with me.”
warnings: mental illness (schizophrenia & depression), i am not a doctor and wrote this to the best of my ability
word count: 1.02k
written by: tiff
description: kang dongho is left behind by the person he dreamed of spending the rest of his life with for reasons he has yet to discover, only to be disappointed when he uncovers the truth.
a/n: in honor of nu’est and the love i hold for them, i decided to post this. although they’re officially disbanded now, please be sure to give them lots of love and support on their most recent release: 다시, 봄
Tears raced down the delicate skin of Dongho’s cheeks as he fell to his knees in front of you, his long-term partner, and reached out to him. His vision was blurry and his lungs felt as if they were going to collapse in on themselves the moment he let out another mangled cry.
“Please, don’t do this,” Dongho cried out, his fingers curled around the sleeve of your sweater, “I don’t know if I can survive without you.”
You paused for a moment, your hand on the doorknob, heart twisting around in your chest. You sighed, gently shaking Dongho’s loose grasp on the soft fabric free, “I have to go. I can’t stay here anymore, love.”
Dongho’s voice cracked as he whispered, “but, why? What did I do wrong?”
“It’s nothing you did,” you began, crouching down to be level with Dongho’s shaking frame, “but I can’t tell you the reason why I’m going. You’ll figure it out in your own time.”
“That doesn’t make any sense!” Dongho exclaimed. You brushed some of the stray tears off of the older boy’s cheeks.
“It won’t for a while, but I promise you, when the time comes, you’ll learn. You’ll be able to accept it. For now, you just need to learn how to cope without me.”
With that, you rose to your feet and walked out into the night, never bothering to look back.
—
They say people learn to get over heartbreak, that there’s always a light at the end of the tunnel during every breakup. But that certainly was not the case for Kang Dongho. Many nights he found himself tossing and turning in the sheets, longing for your gentle touch, or staying up for days on end doing absolutely nothing except for crying.
Three months have passed now since the love of his life walked out with no rhyme or reason, and Dongho was still trying to make sense of it all. But no matter what scenario or event came to his head, nothing added up right. He often found himself tugging angrily at his hair.
The same night that you left, he began writing letters. Ones with words of his love for you. How beautiful you are and how brightly you shine compared to the rest of the stars in the sky. Reminiscing on the good memories he had, like the time that you tried making pancakes for him and ended up almost burning the house down.
But he also wrote letters that were stained with tears, where the ink was smudged from his shaky hands or lost track of where his sentences were going. They were never filled with anything hateful, but rather with confusion, hurt, and anger.
Why? Why did you decide to leave him when he thought he needed you the most? Why did you hesitate before you walked through the door? Where were you now? Was the address he was writing on the envelopes even correct?
He always mailed them out, but he never once got a response. Every time he stepped foot into the post office, the clerks looked at him with sympathy. Whether it be because of the way his cheeks were sunken in or how his eyes were always swollen from constantly sobbing, he didn’t know. He just hated the stares.
Now, he was sitting on the couch, his legs crossed, and wide awake. His hands were clasped over his stomach, glossy eyes trained on the ceiling, and his bottom lip held tightly between his teeth.
It was your two year anniversary.
The moment he woke up, he couldn’t help but think about you and where you were going. Your sweet words rang through his head, which only gave him a migraine in the end. He couldn’t bear the thought of doing anything for the day. He almost wished he could sleep forever.
But he couldn’t. He refused to waste the day when instead, he could be making your favorite meal and celebrating on his own, whether you were there or not. Maybe after doing so, he would feel better. He could certainly hope.
A little later, he found himself at the dinner table, staring at your empty seat behind the vase of morning glories he picked up from the store earlier while quietly spooning cajun pasta into his mouth. He huffed a defeated sigh, allowing the fork to fall from his hand onto the table with a bang.
Pushing himself away from the table, he walked to what used to be your shared bedroom without bothering to clean up the mess he’d made. He sank down onto the edge of the bed, his shoulders slumped, and buried his face in his hands. Was this ever going to get easier?
Just as he was about to lay down, he was able to hear your daily reminder in his head, “be sure to take your medicine, Dongho, it’s important.”
Absently, he grabbed the pill bottle off of his nightstand and stared at the label. Olanzapine. He knew his doctor told him what it was for, but he didn’t understand why. The label never indicated anything either.
Allowing his curiosity to get the best of him, Dongho typed in the name of his medicine on his phone and scanned over the definition of what it was used to treat.
Olanzapine can be used to treat mental disorders such as schizophrenia and bipolar disorder.
Dongho tilted his head at the word ‘schizophrenia.’ He was almost positive that’s what his doctor told him he had, but he couldn’t remember. He continued on with another search.
Schizophrenia is a chronic brain disorder that affects less than one percent of the population. When schizophrenia is active, symptoms can include delusions, hallucinations, and trouble with thinking.
Upon reading the definition, Dongho threw his phone across the room, a loud yell ripping at his lungs as fresh, hot tears stung at his eyes. This is what you meant when you said he would figure it out on his own. This is what you meant when you didn’t answer his questions. This is why you left him in the first place.
I JUST READ NO PLACE FOR YOU HERE …oh my god it was so good. like I WASNT EXPECTING ANYTHING THAT HAPPENED WITH MINHO AND THEN THE CLIFFHANGER ????? if you ever plan on making a pt 2 pls tag me omg i loved it so much
this is so nice wtf??? thank you so much! i’m really proud of how it turned out and i’m glad you enjoyed! a part two is possibly going to be in the works, i’m not entirely sure whether i want to or not. i’ll be sure to keep everyone updated!
ollie and i appreciate everyone’s support on this blog so far!
warnings: cursing (hyunjae has a horrible mouth), angst, mentions of depression and sadness
word count: 1.3k
written by: ollie
description: jacob bae was your world until the abrupt day that he wasn’t. you thought you would never see him again. you thought you would never learn why, but apparently two certain boys had a different idea
a/n: i wrote this awhile ago, but here’s my first imagine on this blog. please enjoy!
you loved your roommate. sunwoo was your best friend and you knew completely that he just wanted what was best for you. however, hyunjae was different. whether it was for the best or not, he just wanted to be right.
that was exactly how you ended up locked in your own bathroom with your ex-boyfriend, the mastermind behind the whole plan insisting that all your problems would be fixed if you just "talked it out."
if only talking it out was that easy.
jacob plopped down on the floor across from you and instantly, you knew you guys were going to be in here for awhile. he wouldn't even look at you. his eyes were focused on his hands, which were wrapped around his knees, pulling them to his chest. the silence was practically deafening.
what were you supposed to say? what were you supposed to do? this was only the second time you had seen jacob bae since the breakup occurred and the first time involved you running away as soon as you were able to distinguish his blonde head. this time, you couldn't flee. you couldn't run. there was no escape. this time you had to face your problems.
𝒅𝒂𝒎𝒏 𝒚𝒐𝒖 𝒍𝒆𝒆 𝒋𝒂𝒆𝒉𝒚𝒖𝒏.
as if he was summoned, a voice from downstairs broke the silence. "why don't i hear talking? quit being pussies!"
a gasp followed hyunjae's remark. "hey, was that necessary?" sunwoo exclaimed.
"completely necessary."
the room fell into silence once more and you found yourself unable to take it.
"he's right you know." your voice sounded foreign to your own ears. it was barely raised above a whisper and you swore if you tried to speak any louder that the tears would start to flow. "we're going to have to talk at some point. why not now?"
jacob let out a sigh, but stayed silent. you surveyed the boy in front of you, pain aching in your heart. he was no longer the boy you fell in love with. the boy in the bathroom with you now appeared broken. dark circles had blossomed under his eyes since the last time you two had crossed paths. he seemed paler and maybe even thinner as well.
you didn't want to talk. that's what you constantly told sunwoo. what was done was done. jacob broke up with you and talking about it wasn't going to make a difference. it wasn’t going to bring him back. well, at least that was what you kept telling yourself.
talking about the pain and confusion you felt toward the boy who you loved most in the world was not something that could be talked about easily.
especially since he was the one who shattered your heart to pieces in the first place.
but today was different. today, you found yourself needing to talk; needing to vent; needing to find out the reason 𝒘𝒉𝒚.
"i just don't understand why, jacob," you managed to croak our past the lump in your throat. "i don't understand what i did wrong."
the tears weren't falling yet, but they were close. crying in front of him was going to make it worse, but it was going to happen. you couldn't avoid it. not after all the pain he had caused.
"i- i loved you. I loved you so much. I thought the absolute world of you," you whispered. "you made me so happy."
jacob's eyes were now trained on you. he could feel the pain in your voice and it killed him. however, it was better for you to feel like this than to still be with him.
"every day i woke up and thanked the world that kevin introduced me to you because what would i be without you. who would i be without you? you were my person, my rock. you were the person who i wanted to spend my entire life with." you scoffed, shaking your head. your right hand ran across your cheeks to rid your skin of the tears. this time anger was in your voice.
"i can't believe after all that you had the nerve to break up with me over text. what? did a phone call seem like too much? a voicemail would have even been better than a stupid text, jacob."
the blonde boy flinched at his name. he knew he was in the wrong. he knew the way he broke up with you was wrong, but he didn't have a choice. he couldn't have done it in person.
your voice was fragile when you spoke next. "was i not good enough? was that it? did a year go down the drain all because of me?"
you weren't talking to receive a reply, so you were shocked when jacob actually spoke.
his words were careful. "don't talk about yourself like that. you deserve the world and more."
"then what went wrong, jacob?"
he sighed, running a hand across his face in frustration. not frustration because of you, but because of himself.
"look, i know you're still hurt and there's nothing i can say and do that will excuse my actions, but i love you, okay. i just didn't want to hurt you anymore. i didn't want you to suffer because of me and for that, i am sorry."
jacob's words caused the tears to let loose from your eyes and you tried to hold back a sob. "what do you mean hurt me? you weren't hurting me and I wasn't suffering. what hurt was the fact that you didn't give me an explanation."
now it was jacob who was trying to hold back tears. how was he supposed to explain to you what was wrong? how was he supposed to explain the fear and self-hatred?
"i know you were starting to realize that I was acting different. i was acting more distant. it seemed to you that every time I talked to anyone i was irritated or annoyed. you started to see my personality change, but i know you were choosing to ignore it. you figured that if you continued to be nice that everything would go back to normal. but i hated that. i hated knowing that i was treating you horribly, but i couldn't help it. i was just so angry and sad all the time and i didn't know how to handle it."
you could see the tears coating jacob's cheeks and you had the urge to wipe them away, but you knew that wasn't an option. "so that's why you decided to break up with me? i could have helped you, jacob. we could have gotten through all that together, but instead you pushed me away."
jacob shrugged. "i wasn't going to stay around long enough to bring you down."
a sob left your lungs at his words and you buried your face in your hands, unable to even form a sentence to express the internal turmoil you felt.
"i wanted to reach out to you for so long now, but you know that i always ran from conflict. i'm a coward and because of my cowardliness I couldn't tell you what i was going through. i hurt us both and i just saw no way to fix it. so i just kept running. I am so sorry."
you lifted your head up and almost on autopilot you reached out for him. without hesitation, he pulled you into his arms.
jacob's embrace felt like home and instantly brought about a sense of comfort. you missed his scent. you missed the feeling of safety he created. you missed him.
he rubbed your back softly as he waited for your tears to calm down. the burden now felt like it was off his shoulders, but he knew the regret of not telling you sooner would haunt him for all eternity.
it had to be ten minutes before you were able to speak once more.
"can we just start over?"
jacob nodded, his arms tightening around you as he rested his chin on the top of your head. "yeah, i would like that."
suddenly you heard the lock to the bathroom door click and hyunjae rushed in, nearly jumping for joy.
genre: high school au, best friends to lovers, fluff, angst
warnings: cursing, a kind of dumb and very oblivious reader, cheating (idk if this is a warning but oh well lol), hyunjae is depicted as a pos
word count: 2.3k
written by: tiff
description: you’re constantly dating people who don’t treat you well and eric is always by your side, even if you’re a dumbass.
a/n: i wrote this sooo long ago and i apologize if there’s any inaccuracies or plot holes. i just wanted to post something about eric since deobis have been missing him a lot lately. hope you enjoy!
i.
You always considered yourself fortunate to have Eric Sohn in your life. From the moment the two of you were born, you were pretty much inseparable. He had been there for you through everything that had ever happened to you in life, and you were there for him the same way.
From the first day of kindergarten to the awkward puberty phase of middle school up until now, where you were about to graduate high school and were finalizing what colleges you wanted to attend in the fall. You were always so grateful for him, especially in the times you needed him.
Especially now as you shakily dialed his number, holding your phone up to your ear and covering your mouth in an attempt to stifle the sob that threatened to slip past your lips. However, the moment you heard his voice sleepily mutter a quiet “what’s up?” guilt weighed down your entire body.
“Did i wake you?” you asked, trying your absolute hardest to keep your voice even. but, he knew you better than anyone on the planet, and instantly knew something was wrong.
“Y/N, talk to me, tell me what’s wrong,” his voice was laden with concern, “and don’t try to tell me nothing because I know you’d be lying.”
You chuckled, ironically, sniffling a bit as you finally said, “I think Hyunjae cheated on me.”
A heavy silence filled the other end of the line. You knew Eric had ill feelings toward him the moment you introduced the two, but you stayed with him despite all of Eric’s warnings. You wouldn’t be surprised if your best friend immediately started in on the “I told you so” and “you should have listened to me,” but instead, he abruptly ended the call. you instantly started texting him.
𝗬𝗢𝗨: eric for the love of god please don’t go to his house
𝗬𝗢𝗨: if you do i will never forgive you
𝗬𝗢𝗨: i mean it
Despite all of your texting, he never replied to any of your messages. You sighed in defeat, flopping back onto your bed with fresh tears streaming down your face. You couldn’t help but stare at the video of your boyfriend - if you could even call him that at this point - kissing someone who was definitely not you.
How could you be so stupid? How could you not listen to the one person you trusted the most in this world? If you had, you wouldn’t be in the position you are now. You wouldn’t be feeling so heartbroken. You couldn’t help but text Eric again in hopes he would reply to you soon.
𝗬𝗢𝗨: i’m sorry for not listening to you
𝗬𝗢𝗨: i knew there was a chance of this happening and still got into a relationship with him anyway
𝗬𝗢𝗨: and then woke you up only to more than likely annoy you
𝗬𝗢𝗨: just…. please don’t bring harm to him, i’m afraid he’ll do something worse to you too.
You tossed your phone to the side, covering your face with your hands and letting a quiet, muffled sob rumble in your chest. You were too absorbed in your own thoughts to even hear the loud footsteps in the hallway or your door barging open. You only took notice when a weight was sinking down on the other side of your bed and a pair of arms were pulling you into their chest.
“What are you crying for, dummy?” upon hearing his voice in your ear, your practically melted into him, your tears soaking into the fabric on his shoulder.
He pulled you closer, squeezing your frame tightly against his own with a sad sigh. He hated seeing you like this, especially over a boy who didn’t give you the time of day to begin with. He just wished you weren’t so oblivious about what he felt for you.
Oblivious to how he could treat you so much better.
Finally, you pulled away and look up at him, wiping underneath of your eyes with a quiet sniffle, “I can’t talk about it here, I don’t want my parents to hear.”
“Let’s go out for a drive then,” Eric stated.
“Dude, it’s 11:00 on a school night, there’s no way they will let me leave,” you replied, half-heartedly gesturing to your desk, “besides, I have work I have to do.”
“Y/N.”
“What?”
“Do you really think you’re gonna do your homework in the state you’re in right now? Because I don’t,” he countered, his eyebrow raised slightly as if to question you.
You shrugged at his words, “even if you’re right, my parents still won’t let me leave.”
Eric clapped his hand onto your shoulder, a sly grin stretching across his thin lips, “that’s why we sneak out, idiot. When I came in I told them I was bringing you a textbook you left at my house. When I leave, just climb out your window and meet me at my car.”
He didn’t really give you much of a chance to answer before he was practically vaulting himself off of his bed and out of your room, closing the door tightly behind him. You sighed, shaking your head.
If you got caught, he was taking the blame.
ii.
Once you were finally far enough away from your house to stop worrying, you relaxed into the passenger seat of Eric’s car and willed yourself not to start full blown crying again. He was the first to break the silence.
“How did you find out?”
You stared down at your lap, messing with a loose string at the end of one of your hoodie sleeves, “he went to a party with Kevin and Sangyeon. Apparently Chanhee as there too because he was the one who sent me the video.”
Eric’s grip on the steering wheel tightened and you could visibly see his jaw clench at your words, “they had the audacity to send you a video of it?”
You nodded, “at the end Hyunjae realized what was happened and practically begged Chanhee to turn off the camera. He said something along the lines of if I found out, I wasn’t going to let him live it down.”
After that, you continued to rant, allowing everything to be said into the open and lift the weight off your shoulders. Throughout all of it, Eric kept his eyes on the road but his ears open, listening to everything you had to say. He wanted you to feel like your feelings mattered and that he would always be by your side, no matter what.
Because he always would be, even if it broke his heart.
iii.
Despite the breakdown you had over Hyunjae, you still decided to give him a second chance. You talked with him and told him the next time anything of the sort happened, the two of you were done for good. Needless to say, Eric was more than pissed.
The moment he saw you walking hand in hand with the same man that cheated on you in the hallway, he saw red. You had only caught a glimpse of your best friend before he was storming out of the double doors, leaving school entirely.
Once fully settled in his car, he hit his hands roughly against the steering wheel, frustrated tears gliding down his face almost effortlessly at this point. When were you going to learn that you deserved better? When were you going to learn that when someone cheats once, they almost always do it again? When were you going to actually give a damn about yourself?
When were you going to acknowledge him?
As if on a queue, his phone chimed to several messages from you, ones of which expressed your concern as to why he was leaving school.
𝗬𝗢𝗨: are you okay?
𝗬𝗢𝗨: do you feel sick?
𝗬𝗢𝗨: do you want me to come with you?
𝗘𝗥𝗜𝗖: i’m fine. just didn’t feel up to being here today.
𝗬𝗢𝗨: do you want company?
𝗘𝗥𝗜𝗖: no, it’s okay. i just need to clear my head. besides, you have a test today.
𝗬𝗢𝗨: okay… be safe wherever you go today.
𝗘𝗥𝗜𝗖: i will.
𝗘𝗥𝗜𝗖: y/n?
𝗬𝗢𝗨: what?
𝗘𝗥𝗜𝗖: keep your guards up this time. i know for a fact he won’t hesitate to hurt you again.
iv.
You really wished that Eric’s advice would stop being right.
Here you were, once again, feeling your heart shatter into a million pieces. All because Lee Hyunjae didn’t know how to keep his hands to himself when he was around other people that weren’t you.
After receiving a plethora of unledgible texts from you, he was able to only make out that you needed to skip school and wanted him to come with you. He didn’t mind the skipping, really, because he hated school anyway so it was never an issue.
However, what he didn’t expect was to find you stumbling out of the bathroom with tear stained cheeks a puffy eyes. He didn’t even need to hear you say what happened before he already knew your current state was because of Hyunjae. Sighing, he grabbed your arm and practically drug you out to his car.
Once the both of you were inside, he began driving out to the spot you always went to whenever you wanted to skip class because you knew nobody would ever find you there; the creek.
The drive there was painfully silently, the car only filled with your cries and sniffles every once in a while. You could sense that Eric was fuming next to you, and you didn’t dare speak until he asked you to explain what happened this time. Within minutes you were parked in your spot, sitting at the edge of the creek with your legs drawn up to your chest. Eric studied you for a moment before he finally decided to start talking.
“Why do you always settle for the people who you know will find some way to break you?” his tone was slightly bitter as he spoke, “why do you always settle for scum?”
You were taken aback by his questions, “I- what? since when has anyone other than Hyunjae been scum? Please, enlighten me, Eric.”
“Hmm let’s see… Juyeon put you down every chance he could get, Younghoon never cared about your opinion or what you had to say, and Hyunjae cheated on you, and with every single one I told you they were gonna treat you horribly. Do I really need to continue?” he didn’t hesitate to spit out a list to you, and you felt anger beginning to bubble up in your stomach.
“Since when do you get to decide who I should and shouldn’t date?” you fired back.
“I never said that, Y/N, but I told you before all three of those relationships that you should seriously take into account how their last ones ended. I was right about them all, especially Hyunjae, and you still went back to him anyway.”
You scoffed, staring out ahead of you, “I cannot believe you just said that to me. As a best friend you’re supposed to comfort me now and tell me later that I was an idiot and needed to do better.”
Eric rose to his feet, and started to pace back and fourth along the bank of the creek. He was fuming, and you knew it. You followed suit, standing up to start walking in the opposite direction of him before his words stopped you.
“I just want to know why you gave him a second chance after he broke you so badly the first time.”
You sighed, “I don’t know, Eric. I guess I just enjoy the feeling of someone loving me even if it’s twisted.”
“You deserve someone who truly loves you.”
You laughed sadly, stating, “well in case you haven’t noticed, nobody in my life seems to love me like that.”
Something within Eric seemed to snap, and the next thing you knew, his voice was echoing throughout the woods surrounding the creek, “I do!”
“What?” the tone of surprise was evident in your voice, “Eric, what are y-“
“I love you, okay? I have loved you from the beginning of our high school career all the way up until now. I have loved you even when you were at the lowest points in your life. I’ve loved you even when you were dating those shitty people,” he yelled, “and it has broken my fucking heart every time I have to see you get walked all over and every time you’re completely oblivious to me.”
He began to walk closer to you, standing only a few feet away from you now, his chest heaving and pain dancing effortlessly in his eyes, “I love you, Y/N, why can’t you see that?”
A small silence fell between the two of you before you quietly said, “I’ve been oblivious to you because I’m afraid of losing the one person I have ever truly cared about on this earth. If we were to ever date and break up, I really don’t think I could handle it.”
“You’re not gonna lose me,” eric’s voice cracked, but you could tell how genuine his words were, “even if you don’t feel the same, I’m content with loving you without it being returned. At least this way I can still have you in my life.”
Without any hesitation, you closed the distance between the two of you and pressed your lips against his own, taking the taller boy by surprise before he finally melted into you, his hands cupping your face gently. You pulled away, looking into his eyes before saying, “a part of me has loved you this whole time too, I’ve just been too afraid to admit to myself, let alone you.”
Eric only kissed you again, this time with the reassurance that you would never lose him, that he would never treat you the way any of the other people did. Somehow, you knew everything was going to be okay.
here is a list of fics we’re working on + a short synopsis of each!
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give me love ; kim seungmin x reader (stray kids)
you unexpected meet someone at a party that was also on sober friend duty, and soon you’re desperate for him to return the feelings you had for him. (strangers to lovers, college au, slight angst, fluff)
ghost of you ; kang dongho x reader (nu’est)
kang dongho is left behind by the person he dreamed of spending the rest of his life with for reasons he has yet to discover, only to be disappointed when he uncovers the truth. (shizophrenic!dongho, angst)
search the universe ; jacob bae (the boyz)
timers are stamped onto your wriststhat don’t light up until it was ready to start with the amount of days you had left before you either die or meet your soulmate. since you had gotten yours, you had a hard time believing it was the latter. (soulmate au, angst, fluff)
in the fire ; choi sungyoon x reader, lee jangjun x reader (golden child)
a deadly virus has broken out and left the world in shambles as everything you once knew gets flipped upside down and you’re fighting for your life alongside your best friends. the three of you decide to follow a pair of strangers to a city that supposedly has a large camp set up, but didn’t realize the amount of horrors you would have to endure along the way. (dystopia au, zombie apocalypse au, angst)
falling ; kim sunwoo x reader (the boyz)
no descrption, just a drabble
under cover ; wen junhui x reader (seventeen)
retrieving lost souls from hell was a job that was tiresome, but definitely worth the risk. so was the snarky demon who managed to grab your attention. (heaven and hell au, demon!jun, angst, smut, minimal fluff)
butterfly effect ; ten x reader (wayv)
after deciding to prank text a number written on the bathroom wall at a bar, your life takes a turn for the worst. (stalker!ten, angst)
most of these fics are things we have once written for each other, but decided to turn into things to share with tumblr! all are gender-neutral reader x group member. this is also a masterlist of masterlists so you’ll have to click on each link in order to reach certain groups!
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the boyz ❖ stray kids ❖ golden child ❖ wayv ❖ sf9 ❖ monsta x ❖ verivery ❖ nu’est ❖ seventeen
TIFF ❖ she/her ❖ 21 ❖ ult bias: jacob from the boyz
OLLIE ❖ he/him ❖ 21 ❖ ult bias: bang chan from stray kids
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we are both currently college students & have a lot on our plates so we might not post as frequently as we want, but still will at least once or twice every two weeks! if you want to get to know us more, please feel free to send us something in our ask boxes!
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