boundless

jung haneul. 20. sophomore. second-in-command of the artists.

[kshaneul]

✉

✉ : Do they tend to rely on words or actions more?

— actions. contrary to popular belief, haneul is actually bad at explaining herself most especially when it has to do with her emotions. so she’d opt to just show it one way or another in the most subtle way, if possible.

[kpopsongoftheday]

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[kshaneul]

☯

☯ : Do they believe for every darkness there is a lightness? If not, why?

— haneul has always been one to fixate her mind on the brighter side of everything, even when she could be too positive at best. personally, the artist thinks it wouldn't bring her any good to dwell much on darkness and often has the thought of things doing well, eventually, on her mind.

[kshaneul]

; acquaintances.

[kshaneul]

ksdarae:

If there was someone Darae didn’t expect to find at Keisung, that was Jung Haneul because as far as she knew, no one in their circle had seen her for a long while and there were even a couple of rumors going around about her moving overseas.  As she stared at the older girl, though, she realized that Keisung was the best place for her to hide after breaking her arranged marriage.  Seeing as Darae was in the same predicament, part of her wondered if Haneul was happier now that she was free but pushing the thought away, she offered a polite smile at the older.  “Haneul, hi. Goodness, how long has it been? How you been?” As Darae inquired about the artist’s life, she tried to come up with a reason for her to be studying here and since most of her friends though she was attending a school overseas, she had never expected she would need to come up with an excuse.  “How are your parents? Mother had been dying to have a lunch date with your mother but their schedules never seem to allow for that to happen.”

haneul tried to make sense out of darae being in keisung. after all, it was far from being a top tier academy and if she were to take into account the kangs’ background, the artist cannot even imagine the inferior’s parents holding or allowing their daughter to such a standard. not that she was attacking her own alma mater but everyone, if not most of the politicians, would naturally push heir apparent or anyone of their lineage toward ivy leagues as much as possible ( based on her own experiences, of course ). nonetheless, she decided to deprive herself from asking out of respect and figured the younger can just open the topic herself should a chance arise. “i’m good! sophomore here, and majoring in theater arts. how ‘bout you?” with the mention of her parents though, haneul’s face freezes - teeth sinking into her inner cheeks as she tried to reply without having to lie so much. but she didn’t really have a choice. “oh, i guess mother’s currently busy with the business, no? she’s trying to branch out overseas, after all so that must’ve been why. yes. hm. your parents, how are they?”

[wordsnquotes]

I just want to be me - I just want to be useful and… content. I want to stop wondering if I’ll ever feel whole and just be whole. I want to have a purpose, one that I can look at without feeling I’m less than I was.

Ellis O'Neal, The False Princess (via neverwrites)

[kshaneul]

; happy holidays.

[kshaneul]

ksjinwoo:

it was ironic how the nagging feeling in the back of his head wanted to prevent himself to leave, almost begging to turn around and try to talk to her – to place his calm against her cheek and tell her that he’s sorry. he supposed that was the difference between a year ago and now, he didn’t want to leave. though that feeling of guilt was soon replaced by a rise of panic in his throat as he continued to try to budge the door open, twisting the knob before placing his fingers flat against the door and pushing but it wouldn’t open. “it was – it was open when i got here and i thought junhwan would be here,” he tried to reason before trying one last push against the wooden frame. “and everyone’s gone for the holidays already…no one’s out there.”

he almost wants to ask her why she’d been sleeping in the music room and how long had she been doing so but he figured it wasn’t his place to ask anymore so instead, he just thinned his lips and watched her shout as if it would help them. he, then, frowned at her question and felt his pockets – only to remember he felt it in the car because he thought he would only be gone for a few minutes. god, if haneul wasn’t going to kill him then his family surely will. “i left my phone in my car,” he sighed and rubbed the back of his neck awkwardly. it was that familiar tension between haneul and himself that caught jinwoo at a loss for words and made his eyes avoid her to steer clear away from the sudden ache in his chest. hjinwooe took a few steps away from the girl. “there’s a night crew, right? every school has a night crew – they have to find us, eventually.”

this is nowhere near foreign. haneul knows the level of desperation to simply escape; memories a part of her now no matter how she scrubs herself clean over and over again. it’s a laugh in itself to think she has been alright all along - that keisung’s the haven for those who has something to hide from, for those needing for a chance to start anew. because here they are, sitting at the curve of her spine just waiting to protrude once more; here is the feeling of suffocation ( ‘dad, please open the door.’ ) tears brimming every time her parents decides ( ’mom, i will do well, i promise - please let me out..’ ) her marks are lacking still. she remembers this and it tears her down. the artist slams the door harder and harder, hands already flushing a shade of red but it doesn’t stop haneul from doing so. “let me out. please help! please. please, anyone.. please help me!” she shouts, hands trembling as cold beads of sweat trickles down her cheeks. 

emotions take over and she’s suddenly gasping for air, falling onto the ground as her heartbeat rapidly increases upon the realization of the situation she’s in. “junhwan-oppa, please.. get me.. out of here.” the artist pleads in between sobs as memories of the older appears before a pitched black room, trying to help her even for a little while just for the grim figure of his father to appear yet again dragging her to hell himself. everything hits her all at once and numbed palms make their way onto both of her ears, haneul trying hard enough to block all the toxicity coming out of her own parents’ mouth from reaching her. it doesn’t even strike her anymore that jinwoo’s there to witness how much of a mess she is. that no matter how much she has tried to hide it from everyone by trying so hard to be the artists’ poster girl for positivity, it wouldn’t take long enough for her to break. it didn’t matter. for this moment, haneul was losing. was she ever meant to win in the first place, anyway?

[kshaneul]

☾

☾ : On a sleepless night, what would they be found doing?

—wondering about a lot of things. staring at her parents’ contact number on her phone for hours without the strength to actually call them. crying. lots of crying only to binge-watch kdramas or whatever tv shows are available just to keep her mind busy.

[kshaneul]

ksdaewon:

With an apologetic smile, he watched as Haneul bowed back but before the apology that was on the tip of his tongue left his lips, she spoke.  At her words, he found himself laughing and shaking his head, he offered her a sheepish smile.  Maybe it was the fact that he was her fan but he always felt nervous around Haneul.  Then again, it might also have to do with the fact that he felt like she had a reason to think that he was a stalker and since then he didn’t know if he was saying the right thing.  Even now, as he stood in front of her, he wondered what he could say to push away that awkwardness that came when talking to someone you didn’t know that well.

When she agreed, he inwardly sighed in relief and at her request, he immediately nodded.  After all, it was in the way and suddenly thinking about the convenience store reminded him of how thirsty he was.  “Of course not, I was planning just to head back to Keisung but now that you mention, I am in need of some snacks and some cold water.” He signaled her to go first and then he began walking next to her as he looked around, making sure to keep an eye out for trouble.  He was not a fan of violence but if they did run into the mugger, he was not opposed of teaching the man (of course, it might be a woman but he hoped it wasn’t) a lesson before dragging him to the nearest police station.

“Will I get to see you perform any time soon?” He asked, unsure of what else to say or ask her and glancing her way, he tried to figure out if he should have asked something else.  “Um… I am just asking because it feels like it has been a long time since I have but it might not be that long…”

“that’s great then,” lax steps made their way as he motioned for her to go first, the artist maybe a little too comfortable as compared to the misfit. of course the muggings have been keeping her on her toes lately but the presence of someone to go home with was somehow able to lessen her worries. when they reached the convenience store, haneul opened the door herself and waited for daewon to enter before heading to the snacks station - glancing at her short groceries list saved on her phone. right now she’d have to settle with ramyun noodles and eggs since the month’s salary have been used up already. she also didn’t forget to get a set of strawberry milk mini cartons, taking a sip from one as she computed for her total prior to paying.

haneul marveled at his inquiries, not even knowing how to start because she just had a lot to share. it wasn’t every day that people would ask the second-in-command about these so, in a way, she was thankful that someone was willing to listen to her. “i actually got this role for the drama club’s les mis! didn’t even expect to get eponine at first because i messed up during the auditions, but then came the callbacks and i was in!” she started, eyes glimmering while looking at him from time to time. “of course we’ll have to practice and stuff, so 2-3 months at most, maybe? i’ll make sure to tell you, and maybe give you complimentary tickets if they’d give us some.”

she didn’t know much about daewon other than him being a film major, a fan of musicals and theatrical shows; the main reason why he’s familiar with her works in the first place (though for one, haneul applauds him for even noticing her given the almost unnoticed appearances). “ how about you, daewon-ssi? any projects you are working on, at the moment?”

[cittamemes]

In Depth Headcanon Prompts;

☠ : Are there any recent/daily thoughts they have about death or dying? ☯ : Do they believe for every darkness there is a lightness? If not, why? ♥ : Name one thing about the way their emotions work that they despise. ☆ : Would they ever wish upon a falling star? If so, what would they wish? ☁ : Describe how they would spend a stormy, overcast/rainy day. ☂ : Storms or clear skies? εжз : What about nature do they find calming? What about nature do they find disagreeable? ☎ : List three or more people they would call out for during an emergency. ☛ : What is their typical response to being given orders? ☢ : Describe a thought or dream that would cause them to have a mental meltdown. ✄ : Are there any reasons why they would ever think of self-harm? If so, what are they? ❤ : Describe a physical action that shows complete trust. ❥ : Describe a verbal way they would express complete trust. ✗ : Explain how they portray feelings of hostility or dislike. ⊗ : What is something that causes them to question themself? ☾ : On a sleepless night, what would they be found doing? ☤ : Is there anything about their health they are continuously on edge about? Something they disregard? ✓ : Name at least two people who can trust them with their life. ❣: Describe a way that will earn affection (whether platonic or romantic) from them. ✖ : Describe a way to make them uneasy or apprehensive. ♆ : Are they prone to violent outbursts or thoughts? ✏ : What are their creative outlets? ✉ : Do they tend to rely on words or actions more? ♡ : Is there a certain scent that brings about nostalgia? If so, describe a memory this scent brings back. ۞: Are there any inner demons they can never seem to get rid of? What are they?

[kshaneul]

ksnari:

Part of Nari feels like she should leave it, like she should let the girl deal with her own problems & leave it at that. But after watching everyone suffer, she knows she can’t just sit in silence anymore. Haneul was giving countless excuses & Nari needed her to stop. She needed an answer. “Haneul I know you’re not okay, I can see it….you know you can talk to me…..you trust me right?”

“nari, please. can’t you just give me this one?” haneul was compelled to return strongly upon the other’s question, gaze dropping to the floor as uneasiness takes over her. for a moment she considers if nari’s the one being wronged in this situation. then again, can the artist be blamed for keeping things to herself when that’s the only way, though deemed ineffectual by a lot, she assumes as the best to do? cracks didn’t have to be opened again, not when she has tried so hard for the past few years to patch them up clean and thorough. nari didn’t have to know. haneul didn’t have to suffer again and again. this was the best.

“sorry. i, uhm.. you wanna watch a movie? i borrowed one from my workmate. i heard it’s a real tearjerker," she tried to change the subject once more, standing up from her crouched position as she faces nari, a forced smile gracing her lips with the hope of the brainiac not taking it the wrong way.

[kshaneul]

“Are you wearing lipstick?”

despite being preoccupied by her phone in hand, haneul was still able to somehow deduce whose voice was the one who had questioned her. of course, despite the possibility of it not being his - her subconscious still hoped so much. “seok-oppa?” the second-in-command’s eyebrows raised, her mouth slightly agape as she stopped within her tracks to face the said person. a lot of weeks have passed ever since the artist leader disappeared to wherever he had decided to go to and it would be a lie to say that she did not have a hard time herself, but that didn’t matter anymore by the cesspool of happiness she was currently feeling. “you’re back, oh my god. i’ve missed you so! how are you? are you back for real? you sure you feel alright now?” she avowed rather forcefully, hugging the older tight in between annoying questions. 

[kshaneul]

; inebriation.

@kskai

haneul has been used to do the sight of it. people usually dine in to have a taste of the restaurant’s variety of food to offer but the night shift would be a different story. it is always the time for the influx of customers who, for whatever personal reason that the artist respects wholeheartedly, would most likely drown their already messed up systems with alcohol. humans and their vices, she never really had much to say, except for one - if only they could stop themselves from treating others like trash while under its influence. 

except it’s already the usual scenario every week - to the point that she’s like a soldier in a battlefield just waiting for her time to fight back. she’s tough, no? because tonight may just be the moment she had been trying to avoid so much. 

“what the fuck do you expect me to do with this, you bitch? that wasn’t my order, do you want me to kill you?” the man in her late forties raged, breath obviously reeking of alcohol as he pointed a finger at haneul.

she inhaled first, keeping everything under the false pretense of calmness, before answering the customer’s question. it wouldn’t help to act all weak, that’d just allow them to try and intimidate her more. “sir, this was your order. i even repeated myself to you before proceeding and you didn’t correct me or anything. we can’t offer any refunds or change it if the fault was on your part, sir. i’m sor–” the shatter of glass breaking halted her and the next thing haneul knew, the man was already grabbing her by the arm cursing to his inebriated self’s desires.

[everysongaday]

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NELL (넬) - The Day Before / And, Things Left Behind (그리고, 남겨진 것들)

I wonder if we’re sometimes standing in the same memory? I wonder if sometimes, time has stopped for you too?

[annie-valrob-deactivated2023091]

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[kshaneul]

ksxyongchul:

Yongchul chuckled awkwardly. “Yeah, yeah, I guess you could say that. I’m Yongchul. Not really a…party goer, so it was pretty inevitable that I wouldn’t have a good time,” He explained, his eyes wandering before returning back to the girl. She seemed like she’d been there for a while, a little sweaty and exhausted like any other person at that party would be. “How’s your night been going? I mean, if you’re bored enough to just be sitting out on the porch talking to a stranger, I can’t imagine that this has been the night of the century for you.” He laughed, hoping he wasn’t offending her.

peace has always been comforting, anyway. “i see. we’re the same in that aspect but i guess it was just the company that killed it for me,” she admitted, taking a sip out of her mango juice that she has been trying to convince everyone as something alcoholic just for them to stop forcing her to drink. “..eh, just alright. not that much of a mess, not that much of a masterpiece either. it was just really stuffy in there i think the only one missing was the university’s dean.” haneul snickered over her own joke, looking at the said stranger. he was rather familiar, actually. she often sees him in the music room whenever it wasn’t the artists’ time to use it. “well, i could tell you that myself. was the night so boring that you’re suddenly ranting to a stranger? i guess it must’ve been better for us to have kept ourselves unnamed just for the sake of it.”

[thequotejournals]

I’m not sure anybody ever gets completely over their first love, and that still rankles. Part of me still wants to know what was wrong with me. What I was lacking.

Stephen King

,

Joyland

(via

thequotejournals

)

[ksdaewon-blog]

@kshaneul

By now, Daewon was used to late nights at work and the tiredness that came with the dishwasher job he had.  He had been working there for about a year and even though it was not his dream job, it definitely beat working the graveyard shift at a convenience store.  The delivery job he had before this was too stressful and dangerous for his like so out of the jobs he had, working at the bbq restaurant was his favorite.  Stretching as he exited the establishment, he looked up at the stars and a soft smile appeared on his lips.  He was in a good mood, he decided but that good mood slowly ebbed away when he heard one of his workers, as they made their way towards the street, that reminded all of the female co-workers be careful.

There had been a couple of muggings the last couple of days around the neighborhood but the gossip about it had reached his ears until today when he arrived at work.  Knowing that Haneul was working today, he decided to wait for her as he leaned against the wall and he hoped she would not think that this time he was stalking her.  After all, they worked in the same restaurant, went to the same school and belong to the drama club so they saw each other constantly.  Even though they saw each other often, though, they mainly exchanged hellos and there was that time when he told her that he was her fan.  It was because of this that when the door opened, he scrambled away from the wall and bowing his head, he greeted her being maybe too formal.  

“Haneul-ssi, hello. Would it be all right if we walk together back to Keisung? I-I… it’s all right if you don’t want to but with the muggings happening around here, I would feel much better if we did…” Hesitant, he spoke as he offered her a friendly smile and shoving his hands on his pockets, he looked at the floor as he waited for her to answer.

[kshaneul]

time sure does fly fast. haneul figured upon realizing that she has been working in the restaurant for three months already. at first, it was overwhelming; the place gave her an inkling of the variety of emotions people are capable of (most of the time, humans were just downright rude and drunk) but was able to adjust regardless. it also helped that her coworkers were nice and welcoming - one of them, daewon, was even from keisung, as well. although for some reason, they never got to cross beyond the boundaries of acquaintances and were always stuck with the casual greetings.

before leaving, the artist made sure to take out her taser that she had been diligently saving for. with all the cases of mugging going around the area, she decided it was a good investment and would at least come in handy should the unexpected happen. upon opening the door, daewon’s greeting startled her a bit but she bowed back, anyway. it was the first time that the male had opened up a conversation and despite finding his offer odd at first, it didn’t took her long enough to accept his nice gesture. 

“really? i mean, if the manager coerced you to do this then don’t worry, i wouldn’t go all tattletale on you..” she joked, trying to ease the air between them. somehow he was always reserved, not that it was a problem for haneul. in fact, ever since he complimented her acting - she always had this urge to befriend him because it wasn’t everyday that someone ever gives her a positive review. it might just have to take her a little extra effort to do that. “but yes, sure! do you mind though if we drop by the convenience store, first? it’ll just be quick, i promise.”

[thequotejournals]

She is proud, she is struggling with herself; but kind, charming, generous.

Fyodor Dostoevsky

,

The Brothers Karamazov

(via

thequotejournals

)