[insecuregodcomplex]

[steveyockey]

affirmations they will not kill me at work today. it is not in my job description to get killed. if they did kill me at work that would be weird and probably not worth it for them

[00000066]

[escuerzoresucitado]

[distantwave]

[dailynarnia]

is jake gyllenhaal gay??

why would you ask us, a narnia blog, this

[helloitsbees]

happy pride month to this post specifically

[greenmossloveisreal1998iloveyou]

you should be addicted to shutting the fuck up

You wanna fuck me so bad it makes you look stupid

[whyenn-reader]

[deepspaceboytoy]

You try to finger my hateful pussy and my clit bites you like a snapping turtle

[dogpuppy]

[jame7t]

She gave me what she called a “spiderjob” which freaked me & everyone else out

[dragonpyre]

Ngl I totally forgot fandom discourse was a thing. I don’t care man, I have car payments

[rootbeerrex]

starting a collection

[clever-fandom-reference]

If I may submit:

[kisskisscantfallinlove]

[cryptotheism]

Caveman barista: Gug not allowed to wear skull of great tusk predator at milk mammoth job anymore. And gug only paid five smooth pebbles.

Neolithic Pharell on the loudspeaker: 🎶Knap along if you need to process some grass and shoots 🎶

[ishowdespair-deactivated2026012]

[flemmboyant]

this shouldn't be hidden in the comments:

[the-most-phenomenal-banana]

the way trump is talking abt hillary makes him sound like a scorned lover lmao what if monica wasn’t bill’s only side bitch??

[the-most-phenomenal-banana]

you gotta be fucking kidding me

[thefleetingflashofa-sword623]

Im probably never going to get to blow up a gas station before I die

[thefleetingflashofa-sword623]

[goldensunset]

idk who needs to hear this but if you have been putting something off bc it doesn't need to be done until the end of the month. we are almost done with the teens we are approaching the big numbers (the twenties). that date shall dawn upon you swiftly and without mercy before you know it. psa for everyone except me i got plany off time

[redstonedust]

hey babe im gonna be home late tonight do you mind picking up dinner. yeah sorry the king has us working over time, some fuckin egghead sat on the wall and had a GREAT fall. we've got all the men working on this but idk if we're gonna be able to put him back together again. yeah we've tried the horses. ok bye love you.

[eggblackoutpoetry]

“egg [x6]”

[facts-i-just-made-up]

Why do leaves turn colors before they fall off the tree

The color a leaf turns is an indicator to how the leaf died:

Red- Old age

Orange- Mafia hit

Yellow- Vehicular manslaughter (non-alcohol-related)

Brown- Eaten by bugs

Tan- Syphilis

White- Consumed by fungi

Black- Burned for heresy

Crosshatched black and white- A Gorey death of ennui

Purple- Poisoned by the Queen of Thorns

Beet-Leaf Chartreuse- Said "Beet Chartreuse" three times

Clear- That was not a leaf, the tree was learning glass blowing

Green- Electrocution and/or drug overdose

Candy vermilion with gold glitter- Pride

[facts-i-just-made-up]

Still yellow but matte instead of glossy.