The feeling of Falling, a feeling I thought was set in stone.
(Ambiguous partner for Lance)
One late night Hunk and Lance chat
It’s late when Lance answers Hunk's video call, he still has a mountain of students' assignments to finish grading but he could always get them done at home or in the morning if he came to school early enough. Sometimes it felt surreal to Lance that he had his life, that he had, speaking with his friends and former paladins didn't make it feel any more real.
He had been talking to Hunk about intergalactic laws that made it hard for him and Shay to adopt different alien kids that weren't Balmera when the conversation shifted to him.
"And how is teaching going?" Hunk asked, "Are you still enjoying it?"
He shrugs a small laugh slipping out, "Let's just say I kind of understand why Iverson was the dick he was to me" he chuckles sadly as that nagging feeling in his chest appears.
"Lance," Hunk says his name softly, eyes no longer shining with happiness. “ We have talked about it, what he did, the way he treated you, that is not how you treat a kid.” Hunk said, “Or am I wrong? Do you ever try to speak to your students like that? Do you make them feel small and insecure?”
Lance shrinks into himself, he knows that he would never speak to a kid the way Iverson did to him- the unnecessary cruelty that man inflicted on Lance, the way he made him feel so sad and lonely not only that but for many years Lance truly thought he had been a useless asset, a seventh wheel, some spare thing that the rest of the team had to deal with him and God was it hard to deal with those feelings but more than anything it had been so much worse to confront his teammates about the way they had made him feel, specially Pidge.
Pidge and he had been close at the beginning, they were part of the garrison trio with Hunk, they had been friends for a while back then but then after the revelation that she was a girl and Shiro disappearing, she did a 180 and had almost made it her mission to make Lance feel like an idiot and now as an adult he could understand that she was going through her own hell and dealing with her own demons, losing both her brother and father, looking through them in space but it most definitely didn't allow her to speak to him in a way it made him want to never speak again or how every time they interacted he wanted to hide.
He wishes he could have talked to Allura about it too, even in the short time they were together they never really talked about intimate things like his feelings and his experience in space or… the time he died. He didn't regret, saving Allura but till this day sometimes he wakes up in the middle of the night frightened, surrounded by darkness and the feeling of falling.
“No,” he whispered and shook his head, “Of course not.” he sighed and wrapped his arms around himself.
Hunk gives him a small smile, “Have I ever told you how grateful I am for your sister?” he says as he picks up a picture on his desk.
“Huh?” he reacts confused, “Rachel?” he asks, he knew Hunk had asked for Rachel’s help once or twice for diplomatic reasons when dealing with other planets' governments.
Hunk snorts, “ NO, Veronica,” he says putting down the photo, at the new angle Lance could see it was a picture of his family and Hunk at his engagement party.
“Oh? No, I don't think we have ever talked about it.”
“When Allura died, no one knew how to help you or truly even really speak to you.” Hunk admits with some regret but there is also some acceptance like he had enough time to make peace with it. “What we went through, being kids fighting in a war changed us, and maybe not for the better but it did nonetheless.” He states, “But the way Allura and space change you Lance, it frightened me.”
Lance froze not knowing how to react to this admission.
“I had known you for so long but after coming back to earth you had shut yourself and now that years have gone through I can admit that maybe I could have done better on my end but I was also a kid.” he admits with a small smile, “ I had this fear that you were ready to give up and that Allura dying was the last straw, that you would lose everything that made lance, my best friend.” Hunk whispers and there is a sniffle and he can see Hunk whip some tears away. “ No one knew how to talk you through your grief and then you started speaking about the farm and Alluras life and message and what Allura wanted and what you wanted for her memory”
Lance can't do more than just stare at his hands hearing about this.
“ I rarely heard about you,” Hunk says and Lance nods feeling the tears build up in his eyes. “ About what you wanted to do”
“But one day on one of our group calls, you talked about Veronica and how she had told you about becoming a pilot teacher and all the help that was needed at the garrison and I saw it for a moment I saw the spark of the boy who found the Blue lion,” Hunk stops and takes a breath. “ Then you got the job and Lance…” He pauses again, “ It was like you were back.”
Lance remembers he remembers very well how Veronica was the only one who didn't tip-toe around him and his emotions. How she one day burst into his room and ripped his sheets away from him and yelled at him, crying, feeling scared because even tho he wasn't dead she felt like she had lost her brother. That day he got up and spent the whole day at the garrison helping out, by accident meeting the new cadets. It had been love at first sight. He laughs thinking about Allura and his supposed love for her, yeah not even his spouse could rival his love for his job and the kids.
Lance tries to say something but it gets stuck in his throat and gives Hunk a teary smile, hunk gives him one back, and they stay in silence for a bit when he feels his phone vibrate and there is a new message
Hey I know is a late night at the school but the kids are asking for you.
And they are asking for your cooking.
He snorts and wipes his eyes with his sleeve.
The sound catches hunks attention, “ Everything okay?” he asks but he has a huge smile on his face having a suspicion of who was texting him.
“Yeah yeah dude,” he answers with a bright smile and a more cheerful tone.
“ Your other job?” Hunk jokes, amusement, and endearment in his tone.
“Well you know what they say,” he shrugged, “ Being a dad is a full-time job even when you already have a full-time job,” he says packing some stuff in his bag, to him seems like he had done enough work for today and honestly the only thing he wanted was going home and be with his family.
Hunk laughs and observes Lance getting ready to leave, he smiles proudly at his best friend.
“You know Hunk,” he says looking at his best friend leaving on the desk, “I'm also grateful for my sister,” he says. “If it wasn't for her who knows where I would be,”
Hunk decides to avoid thinking of that, “ I don't know buddy but you are here, you are happy and that is the most important thing.”
“ Yeah, you are right,” he says, “ I'll see you, buddy, I expect you to come over soon, I miss you,” he says honestly.
“I will try my best to be home soon,” he replies, “ Love you, buddy,”
“ Love ya, buddy,” he answers and hangs up the call.
After he presses the button, he stays there thinking, where would he be if Veronica hadn't dragged his ass out of his grief? Would he be happy? Would he be alone? No partner and no kids? Would he have a purpose or a career?
He shakes his head and smiles even when some tears make it out and go down his cheeks. ‘
He is happy, very happy. He has proved everyone who doubted him wrong.
He is very successful as a teacher and earth's best snipper, he is the favorite teacher and sometimes the favorite parent.
He is no seventh wheel, he was voltrons blue paladin.
He breathes in calming his urge to cry and looks down at his phone with a picture of his kids.
And if he feels a very cool sensation surround him almost as if blue was there again with him, hugging him. That's just a bonus to how good he feels after his conversation with Hunk.
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