The Happy Cynic

"They found Mary, as usual, deep in the study of thorough-bass and human nature." DMA. Bi exvangelical. Age: 30s

[kyrsteniopsis]

This is a pro-boop blog

[theonion]

Admitting that the threat of a slow-and-low simmer was at the top of their minds, a majority of American voters responding to a Quinnipiac University poll published Thursday revealed that their greatest concern going into the 2026 midterms was of a big evil chef trying to cook them into stew. “Across age, income, gender, race, and party affiliation, voters are overwhelmingly afraid of a massive, immoral figure dunking them in a bubbling cauldron and gently stirring them until they are fall-off-the-bone tender,” said polling analyst Caitlyn Dominguez, explaining that while Americans diverged in their opinions on the economy, healthcare, and immigration, they were united in their fear of a cackling behemoth who would prepare them sous vide and serve them alongside a glass of fine merlot or cabernet sauvignon. 

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[bl00dfroma-fairy]

[lizclimo]

[roll1uptwice]

Dope

[pusheen]

[allthingseurope]

Cozzano, France

[frostedmagnolias]

Blue Silk Satin Bodice

c. 1891

Augusta Auctions

[thevaultoftheatomicspaceage]

[clockworkrobotic]

when i was a teenager i used to catch myself thinking "i'm really glad i'm alive right now because of all the cool personal technologies that exist" and when i did i'd think it through and reckon that well, its not like teenagers in the 70s and 80s knew they didnt have ipods or facebook or whatever. they were also happy with the tech they had. and i'd reason that in the future there would be more fun technologies that i dont know i'm missing out on right now and the future will be an even cooler time to exist

anyway i was dead fucking wrong about that last part. i hate personal technologies now. i miss having an ipod that doesnt advertise shit to me and i miss when my htc wildfire didnt harass me 45 times a day to install an ai assistant and then install it anyway when i say no and i miss when the internet wasnt 5 websites all of which i have to log into and i miss when i didnt need an app to talk to my landlord. sorry past me you were actually right about 2009

[tarragonthedragon]

i just got the "see where your blood has gone!" email from giving blood but it glitched and just showed me my current location. which. theyre not wrong. that is where most of my blood is

[liberalsarecool]

Change is happening.

Abdul Al-Sayed beat the billionaires, beat AIPAC, and beat the odds. What a groundbreaking primary win in Michigan.

[vedurnan-archive]

My longhouse is perfectly constructed. Every morning when I wake up in bed at the far end of my longhouse, I say my syllable. Then I spend all day sitting in bed. By sunset my syllable has traveled to the other end of my longhouse and back, and as it smacks me in the head, I fall asleep. My longhouse is perfectly constructed.

[vedurnan-archive]

[jacindaelena]

Nikon AF600, Fuji 400, Rhinog Fawr, Cymru by rabbet on bsky

[thesummoningdark]

The last week has been so ridiculous even the satirists can’t take it any more

[the-stray-liger]

the fucking timestamp

[thesummoningdark]

Happy tenth birthday to this post which will apparently haunt my notifications for all eternity.

It’s about Brexit, by the way. The timestamp is a week post-referendum. Newsthump is UK-based and I myself am scottish. And yes, things have 100% got worse since then, but personally I regard the referendum as the point at which we entered the Clownshoes Timeline.

[myfairynuffstuff]

Randolph Parker (b.1954) - Mount Harris. Acrylic on canvas.

[brucesterling]

Art mags of the Belle Epoque