Queer Black disabled LDS autistic spoonie. 33. Facet-fractured OSDD with C/PTSD. Polyam with Husbear & 2 life-partners. Cat mom. Poor af. Cassgenderfluidwtf; she/they/he/xe. Lover of words and faerie tales, jax of many trades and mastrix of a few, fanfic writer, book reviewer, villain & monster lover, SFF writer on the come up. Lover of Nuada Silverlance, Loki, Killmonger, Gen 2 Star Trek, Stranger Things, Babylon 5, Pokémon, Sailor Moon, Disney.
This is a bit from the new fic I am working on.
That's right, a BRAND NEW FIC. Featuring these two goobers
This was certainly not covered in her etiquette lessons, lol.
It's called The Price We Pay, and will start posting in June.
The tadfools had broken apart as soon as the brain hit the water, but it was fine. Natavia Dekarios had found her happily ever after.
Right until her new husband took the Crown of Karsus and disappeared. Not to ascend, not to return to the graces of Mystra, but simply vanished so thoroughly that not even Elminster could locate him.
And left her with an unpayable debt. The price of every magical artifact Tara had stolen during his confinement. The law was clear; she could not pay, and so she was remanded to a labor camp to work it off.
Six years later, her choice to help Astarion ascend, the choice that had dissolved the fragile alliance of the tadfools, comes back to haunt her when he pays off her debt and offers to help find Gale.
For a price.
A little taste:
"Astarion, my mother would never have let me marry down like that." The words came out coldly; a lifetime of keeping her emotions out of what boiled down to the sale of her body. "I was her prize, to buy back the relevance of the family with. A betrothal was being negotiated with the head of House Selemchant in Athkatla when I was kidnapped."
His eyes flickered oddly, but he said nothing.
"Now, of course, I'm entirely ruined."
"If only," Astarion gave her an appraising look. "It would suit you perfectly, being utterly wrecked. A damned shame, too, given that you and the wizard can't even manage a proper kiss."
"Astarion!" The hot flush reached practically to her toes.
"Merely making an observation, no need for hysterics." He tilted his head. "You know, I could help. Not with the wrecking, of course, darling, but kissing? That I could lend a hand with."
"No, thank you."
"I really must press you to reconsider my proposal, if for no other reason than it's painful for the rest of us to watch."
Tav folded her arms. "You know, Gale isn't complaining."
"Gale practically spends his trousers every time you hold his hand. His judgement is meritless in this arena. I, on the other hand, am an expert."
"Astarion…" she sighed, the same old argument about to start.
"I promise, I won't make this about how you are much too good for the likes of that sad sap." He gave her one of his rare, true smiles. A little peek of fang on one side, eyes soft and slightly lopsided. "No, this is about you."
"It's not appropriate," she whispered. "I'm promised."
"But not betrothed yet, are you? No contracts drawn. The wizard hasn't so much as seen your father from across the street." Astarion's voice dropped low, a rough and hungry edge to it. "It's one kiss, darling. And it will be Gale who will be reaping the rewards of your tiny indiscretion, is it not?"
This was the problem with her beloved rogue; he could make the most untenable things sound perfectly reasonable. Feeling the full force of his seductive intent turned on her again for the first time since she'd told him no at the party by the river, she understood how he'd taken so many victims.
She absolutely would have followed him to her death, she realized.
His hand snaked under her chin, a gentle grab, but the press of his cold fingers into her felt like fire. She'd spent a hundred moments with Astarion that no chaperone would have ever allowed, but they'd never touched like this. Never beyond the tiniest incidentals and a few moments of handholding.
Seen. That's what she felt under his gaze. Not her smooth skin or white teeth, but the parts of her that mattered. He saw every flaw she hid, and he wanted her in spite of every failure.
"You know, now that I'm free to decide who I kiss," Astarion mused, his eyes flicking down to her lips and sending a sudden inferno through her body. "I can't think of anyone I'd rather start with."
"This is a bad idea. A terrible idea," she said, silently begging him to ignore her, her own gaze falling to his lips, wondering if they would be as cool as his hands.
"Natavia," he said her name like he was starving for her. "I will not kiss you without your permission."
A palpable pull formed between them; she knew she should fight, but she let herself fall towards him, their foreheads touching before she whispered, "Then kiss me."
Thanks for creating this awesome questionaire @njuta!
This was an amazing exercise to put together and I really loved thinking about these questions.
attached here is the og link for anyone who wants to check out the template: longfic author interview template
The fic: Threadbare
When two souls are destined to be together, they are connected by an invisible thread. No matter the time, place, or situation, this thread may stretch or tangle, but it will never break - The Red Thread of Fate
Two survivors, kindred spirits, thrown together by accident -Or was it?
Rating: Explicit (please do mind the tags)
Pairing (Main): Astarion X Original Character (Nora)
Background pairings: Wyll/Karlach, Shadowheart/Lae'zel, Gale/Rolan
Minor/Temporary Pairings: Gale/Nora, Gale/Karlach, Petras/Lady Antilia
Characters: The entire canon cast of BG3 + appearances by Lord Neifion, Corellon Larethian, Lolth, Ellistrae, Vhaeraun, Lady Antilia, Mephistopheles, and expanded roles for Cazador, Ulder Ravengard, Devella Fountainhead, Counselor Florrick, Lady Jannath, Nine Fingers Keene, and more, along with a multitude of original characters.
Completion Status: I am actually rewriting the first version which was 2/3 complete at 437,000 words. The current version is at 73,000 words and updates on Fridays - although it is on hiatus until January 9 2026. I fully expect that this story will end up topping 500,000 words.
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Plot Summary
Nora's a 47-year-old woman most recently living in Cleveland, where she teaches math to middle schoolers. While taking the train to Chicago to go help search for her missing ex-fiancé with their army brothers and sisters, she falls asleep, only to wake up in a nightmare.
This is a VERY canon-divergent main story line fic, but based heavily in DnD lore. Loreplay is foreplay, babes.
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The Vibes
While the romance that unfolds between Nora and Astarion is certainly a focal part of the story, I'd argue that the central theme is about the ethics of autonomy, utilizing the concepts of choice versus destiny.
The story is told mainly from Nora and Astarion's POV, changing in different scenes.
Every character in the story faces situations, both large and small, where they have a destiny, or at least an expected outcome, but must ultimately choose the final outcome. The question Threadbare asks is: at what point are we responsible for the outcomes of our choices - especially when you lack full autonomy?
Can you truly love someone destined to be your soulmate? Can you be held accountable for choices you make when your other option was a fate worse than death? Are you responsible for choices you can't even remember making? Or were too young to have the understanding of? Or when the necessary information was kept from you in order to understand the consequences?
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Short snippet - from Chapter 8 - Venn Diagram
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What other media inspired this fic?
It started with the very first BG3 fic I read: Part 2: Broken Bits: A Love Story. (You can start with part 2) by the fabulous MsAditu
Nora - wishing someone would give her a reason to unleash.
But also, Nora herself is a character I designed for a real-world DnD game that was to placed in a modern campaign inspired the urban fantasty of Charles De Lint.
The main BG3 fic that has directly inspired my plot is
@Atsadiwrites fantastic series These Two Shitheads
While the plot hasn't been as much inspired, my prose has been heavily improved and inspired by stories such as @magmethius' Surround Sound, @Tavyliasin's entire body of work, @bloodinwine's Until You, @goodgirlgonebard's Dealbreaker, alcetryx's By Proxy, and probably a thousand more I no longer remember the titles of.
I also have to give an enormous shoutout to the BW3 Writer's Discord Server for being incredibly supportive, with great concrit if you ask for it, and tons of resources and ideas.
My dialogue has been greatly improved by @amischiefofmice's fantastic story Those Left Behind, as well as my understanding of Astarion's inner world in general.
My understanding of the creature part of being a vampire - of the very notion of the undead experience - has been improved by @Raayide's body of work that explores this experience gorgeously, with some of the most lush and disturbing prose I've ever read.
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Other Inspirations
On fighting and battles: The medieval swordfighting classes I've taken at Forenza Fitness in Chicago (highly highly recommend) helped me a lot with understanding the physicality of both fighting with blades as well as some of the experiences of battle.
As a middle aged, large women in middling shape, I can confirm this was a workout experience I not only enjoyed, but thrived in.
Another helpful experience were the 15 years I spent commuting by train to the city of Chicago, and fighting through Union Station during rush hour. I stand on business that it isn't far from the crush of a battle.
Seriously - this was my life twice a day for FIFTEEN years.
Some other things that have informed the story:
My maternal ancestors' stories and tales of living in Appalachia, going back to the 1600s, passed down through generations of women trying to build strong women, which informed my understanding of Nora's childhood, being raised by her elderly grandmother.
A house similar to the historic cabin that Nora grew up in. Note the outhouse in the yard. These cabins weren't well insulated, and the upstairs sleeping areas had no windows.
The town of Keystone, WV. Nora's hometown and not so different from the small towns my ancestors lived in.
My own experiences with serious hikes, hunting, butchering, and backwoods camping. My special interests in linguistics, emergency medicine, airplane crashes, and true crime. My friends' special interests in mathematics, cryptography, and their lived experiences in the military.
And, of course, I've done a ton of research trying to make this story as real as I could.
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What character trait did you amplify or minimize to make your version of a character work for your story?
For Astarion's character, I minimized his self-awareness, a little. He lies to himself so constantly, for so long, that I feel like he'd be a little less self aware than he comes off in the main story sometimes.
In addition, because I so greatly lengthened the timeline of their journey and the story - taking it almost a year from start to finish - His growth arc is both stretch and heightened. He is much further along by act 2 than in the game, but he also keeps that edge from Act 1 for far longer, often making downright cruel choices for seemingly no reason (there's a reason, there's ALWAYS a reason, but those reasons require you to really get in his head.)
I also fleshed out some of the vagueness of his time in the palace, which I think necessarily informed his character in ways that are changes to the game.
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How did your understanding of the characters change while writing this?
Well, I'm rewriting the entire story lol so many things changed.
Nora is a lot quieter and more reserved than I wrote her the first time. She still has that loud, brash soldier inside of her, but she hides it from those she doesn't have that kind of trust of life or death with. It takes her a while to get to that place in the rewrite, which necessarily altered the early story.
She's also far more sensitive. She's been hurt - A LOT - far more than anyone has treated her with care, and while she pretends she is above it, in reality there's a fragility to inner self that I didn't understand at first.
My understanding of Karlach - who while not one of the main two is probably the most prominent and important of the other tadfools in the tale - really evolved. I originally understood her in a way I think most people get at first - the happy, warm, bon vivant who enjoys a fight and a drink but mostly loves people. I've come around to understanding that that persona isn't her inner nature - it's an active choice. An active choice that doesn't always come easily to her, either. Part of her will always be that person she became to survive Zariel and the Blood Wars, even if she'd rather it wasn't true.
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What’s one thing you put in—trope, character beat, scene—that was just extra shamelessly self-indulgent?
At some point, Nora's gonna fold Astarion like a lawn chair and peg the Elf. Does it need to be in this story? No. It could work fine without it. But something about how it shows the level of trust she's been able to build with Astarion over the story just... chef's kiss, for me.
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What’s the structural choice you made on purpose—POV, timeline, chaptering—that most shaped the story?
The timeline. Because of the massive canon divergence I've added - mainly Nora's story and the greater story of the upper city (ie what are Ulder, Cazador, Gortash, etc doing during Act 1 and 2) - I had to extend the timeline to make room for all the activities, challenges, and events.
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Which theme emerged accidentally, and which one did you pursue deliberately?
I deliberately always wanted this story to be about informed consent and autonomy, I've accidentally also made it about the struggles of healing (i,e nonlinearly and not how you expect it to look.)
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What was the biggest risk you took with this fic?
Uh, rewriting it when I was already on Chapter 83 and in Act 3? I think that might count? Yeah??? I had 134 subscribers and almost 100 bookmarks and went ... what if I just noped out and started over from scratch, after the popularity of the fandom has fallen, and there is so much more wonderful fic to compete with for attention?
But honestly, it was the best decision. I really feel like this time I'm telling exactly the story I had wanted to write the first time. It was my very first piece of fiction writing in my life, and I simply didn't have the skills or knowledge to do it right the first time.
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In a hypothetical scenario where you are forced to rewrite the whole story from scratch, what would you do differently?
Well, it's not hypothetical. I'm doing it right now. Here are just some of the biggest changes.
1. The POV is now Astarion or Nora (except there will be a few rare scenes otherwise)
2. I changed Nora's character early on, which shifted the plot because she didn't reveal much about herself early on, which also meant the others were quieter with their secrets as well.
3. Nora ends up hooking up with Gale. Nora is a person who, in her life, very much uses casual sex like many people use alcohol or drugs - to forget, to feel better, or just to burn off anger. She knows Astarion is a giant red flag from the moment they meet, so she'd avoid him like the plague. The hot nerd, though? Right up her alley for a no-strings-attached fling.
4. The on-again-off-again thing with Astarion is going to be a bit less drama-filled and a bit more character-informed.
5. The visit to the feywild goes VERY differently. I was always deeply unhappy with that plot thread, and it never really worked later on for the payoff it was supposed to deliver. Now it really hooks into to that act 3 / Upper City plot line tightly.
6. I made Astarion a lot more, well, Astarion. Meaner, crueller, harder. That softness doesn't start to seep out for a long, long time, and he fights it at every single drop until he just cannot anymore. It's there the whole time, but the reader cannot see it much - because he hides it from the others, and lies to himself about it so much.
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This was a super amazing exercise. I'm so glad I saw it @goodgirlgonebard, and I would really love other longfic authors to participate. Tagging a few below:
@shandoratheexplorer @alwaysmauria @pixel7777 @amoremagnificentbastard @dbglow @missfortunetherogue
summary: Adam chases reader through the forest after she saves Victor from the monster, until Adam decides he's done playing with Victor and wants to play with her, instead.
pairing: the creature x reader
word count: 5,913 words
themes: dubcon, light non-con, this is a dark fic, unprotected sex, oral, monster sex, talk of murder and death, violence, cat and mouse, alludes to reader being a virgin, victor being a bitch, fear, stalking, 18+ ONLY MDNI
author's note: this adam makes me fear for my life and i love it i wish this was me and my therapist will be hearing about this
You grew up on stories about the monsters in the woods.
Shadows that walked. Voices that mimicked. Eyes that gleamed between the trees, watching from the treeline whenever a light burned too late in a cottage window.
Parents told those stories to keep their children close.
The monster, they said, would take you if you wandered.
You believed them, of course, until you got older. Until you saw what real monsters looked like.
The monsters weren't ugly and uncivilized, the monsters were men. Men with polite smiles and cold hands. Men who drank too much and laughed when you said no. Men who looked at you like a prize instead of a person.
Compared to them, the thing in the forest felt almost… honest.
At least monsters didn’t pretend to be anything else.
You might have gone your whole life never knowing whether the tales were real, if not for the night Victor Frankenstein staggered through your front door drenched in rain and pure terror.
You found him on the road, mud splattered up his coat, eyes wide and bloodshot. You thought he was drunk at first, or maybe sick. Then, he clutched at your wrist when you reached for him.
“He’s coming,” Victor rasped. “Please. Please. I’ll pay anything. Just let me in. He’s coming.”
You should have turned him away, stranger ranting about some unseen threat—nothing good could follow. But the urgency and fear in his voice compelled you to open your door to him.
So you let him in anyway.
You always were too soft-hearted, as your father reminded. Too curious, too easily hooked by disaster or a firing gun.
He sat by the fire and shook like he was freezing from the inside out. As the hours passed and the wind howled outside, pieces of the story slipped out between trembling lips.
He was a doctor. No, more than that. A genius, he said. Brilliant. Visionary.
Arrogant. Pompous. Vain.
He spoke of graveyards and lightning and blasphemy dressed up as science. He told you he had built something, a man, almost, stitched from death and dragged screaming into life.
You would have laughed if he hadn’t looked so utterly, irrevocably haunted.
“He hates me,” Victor whispered, staring into the flames as if he saw something else there. “He should. I made him…and then I left him. I ran. I thought—I thought time would dull his rage.”
“How long has it been?” you asked.
He swallowed. “Years.”
“And now?”
Victor’s jaw clenched. “Now he’s found me again.”
There it was. The monster in flesh and blood, no longer a myth, but a man-made nightmare. You should have told Victor to leave, yet you didn’t.
You let him stay and sleep in your spare room. You tried to convince yourself the heaviness in the air was just a storm rolling in, not fate tightening its grip around your throat.
On the third night, the trees began to whisper.
You woke to a sound outside your window. Not an animal and certainly not the wind.
A footstep. Heavy. Measured. Terrifyingly calculated.
You crept to the glass as quietly as you could. The forest beyond your cottage was a dark mass of trunks and shadows, the moon a blurred coin behind clouds.
At first, you saw nothing.
Then the world shifted, and you realized the “tree” you’d been staring at…was breathing deeply and unevenly.
He stepped forward into the moonlight and every story you’d ever heard about monsters felt like a children’s rhyme compared to what stood before you.
Tall didn’t even begin to cover it. He towered. Massive shoulders, heavy arms, hands that could probably crush bone without effort. Scars crisscrossed his face and throat, some puckered, some clean like old surgical work. His hair was dark and tangled, dishevelled to match his ghastly appearance.
He was grotesque. He was beautiful. He was wrong.
His eyes found your window with unnatural precision and you froze. He just stared, standing motionless.
You didn’t know how long you stood there, locked in his gaze. Long enough for your breath to slow instead of quicken. Long enough to understand instinctively: he could see you. Really see you. Not just as another warm body in a lit room.
As you.
Then he turned his head slightly, like he heard something in the distance. You watched as his lips peeled back in a humourless hint of what you could only describe as a smile.
Without a word, he disappeared back into the trees. That night, you didn’t sleep.
Victor insisted in the morning you must have dreamt it. But you saw the way his hands shook when you mentioned a figure in the dark and you saw the sweat bead at his hairline.
“He won’t come near you,” Victor said too quickly. “He wants me. Only me.”
You weren’t sure if that was meant to comfort or reassure himself. It did neither.
The next day, the villagers spoke of deep footprints at the forest edge. Broken branches and trunks. A cow had gone missing from its pasture.
By sunset, the sky bruised purple and black, and you felt it—like something in the air shifted, the tension drawn tighter.
You knew he was close.
You just didn’t expect him to walk straight out of the trees before your eyes under the darkening sky.
It happened near the clearing beyond your garden after Victor insisted on “getting some fresh air.” He nearly jumped out of his skin when a crow flapped its wings too close to him.
“Maybe we should go back insi—” The words died in his throat.
Because something was stepping out of the tree line. Not hurried. Not stealthy. Certain.
You recognized him.
That impossible body, that scar-drawn face, those eyes that looked less like an animal’s and more like a god who’d been dragged face-first through hell.
Adam.
You didn’t know how you knew his name. No one had spoken it. Maybe it was the way he carried it in his bones.
Victor stumbled backward. “No—no, no, no—”
Adam’s gaze slid right over him and landed on you.
This time, there was no glass between you. No safety. No distance. Just cold air, damp earth, and the weight of a creature whose existence should have been impossible staring at you like you’d been placed here for him.
“Victor,” Adam said, his voice a low rumble that seemed to vibrate in your ribs. “You ran.”
Victor’s breath hitched. “Please...don’t—”
“I gave you time,” Adam went on, ignoring his plea. “Years. I learned. I watched. I waited. I asked myself if I could forgive you.” His eyes didn’t leave your face. “The answer was no.”
Victor shook his head, stepping between the two of you. “She has nothing to do with this.”
Adam tilted his head slightly, eyes glittering. “Is that so?”
He took one step closer.
You should have moved back, but you couldn't find the will to do so. Your body felt carved from stone and adrenaline, sown to the ground you were standing on.
Adam’s attention dropped, just for a heartbeat, to Victor’s hand where it hovered near you.
You saw how his jaw ticked and worked.
“Funny,” he said coldly. “He said the same thing about me once. ‘Nothing to do with this.’ A side effect. A mistake.”
He took another step.
Victor’s voice rose in pitch. “Please...if you must kill someone, kill me—”
Adam still didn’t look at him. “What’s your name?” he asked you, calm and low.
You swallowed, your mouth dry. You told him. He repeated it, like he was testing how it tasted in his mouth. You felt that more than you should have.
“Pretty,” he murmured. “Does he own you, too?”
“No,” you snapped before you could think. “No one owns me.”
Something flickered behind his eyes. “Good,” he said softly.
Victor grabbed your wrist. “Get inside. Now.”
Adam’s gaze dropped to where Victor touched you and the air changed immediately.
Slow and deliberate, he stepped around Victor like he was a piece of furniture and not a man. Victor tried to block him again, but Adam merely placed one large hand on his shoulder and pushed.
Victor flew.
He hit the ground hard, the air knocked out of him. Adam didn’t spare him even a flicker of a glance.
He stopped in front of you, close enough that you had to tilt your head back to look up at him. Close enough that you could see the stitches at the edge of his jaw, the small irregularity in his left pupil, the faint scent of rain and forest and something metallic clinging to him.
Up close, the “monster” was less a horror and more…a collision of contradictions. Rage and restraint. Power and precision. Violence and, somehow, a thread of aching loneliness wound tightly beneath it all.
You realized, in that moment, that Victor hadn’t just created a monster. He’d created a man and then abandoned him.
Adam looked down at you like you were an equation he was solving.
“You let him stay in your home,” he said quietly. “You fixed his wounds. Fed him. Kept him warm.”
Your lips parted. How did he know?
“You watched me from your window,” he added calmly. “You didn’t scream.” His eyes searched yours. “You should have.”
“I wasn’t afraid,” you lied, watching as his mouth twitched.
“You were,” he said. “Just not the way you think.”
Your heart stuttered as Victor coughed behind you. “Please...leave her out—”
Adam’s expression didn’t change, but his voice dropped, dangerous and soft.
“Get up again,” he said without looking at Victor, “and I will break something in your precious body.”
Victor stayed on the ground while Adam’s attention shifted entirely to you.
“I’ve been watching him for a long time,” he murmured. “Running. Hiding. Lying.” His gaze dragged slowly down your body, then back up, not lecherous, not polite, just…assessing. Claiming. “And then I saw you.”
You swallowed. “So what, I’m a witness?”
His pupils thinned. “No,” he said. “You’re a variable.”
You didn’t know whether to shiver or scoff. “What do you want?”
A slow, dark smile ghosted across his lips. “I want to see something.”
You don’t know why that scared you more than any threat could have.
He took a step back from you, just enough that you could move if you wanted to. The forest loomed at his back, every tree suddenly feeling like part of him.
His eyes gleamed.
“Run,” he said.
Your stomach dropped. “What?”
He nodded toward the trees. “Run.”
Victor wheezed, “Don’t you touch her—”
Adam’s hand twitched once, annoyance flickering across his features. “This isn’t about you anymore,” he said flatly, still looking at you. “It’s about her.”
Your voice came out quiet. “Why?”
“Because I want to know,” he murmured, “what you do when you’re afraid.”
His tone was almost gentle and that made it worse, but still, you didn’t move.
You stood there, heart hammering, while every instinct screamed at you to obey and bolt—but there was something else, too. Something traitorous. A spark of heat in your chest that had nothing to do with fear.
He watched you, patient.
“Run,” he said again, this time softer, more dangerous. “Before I change my mind and skip straight to the part where I catch you.”
That got you moving.
You turned and sprinted toward the tree line, lungs seizing with cold air, skirts tangling around your legs. The forest swallowed you fast that the cottage vanished from sight, the world shrinking down to your beating heart, cracking twigs, and the rush of your own breath.
For a few fierce seconds, you could almost pretend this was just another late-night dash through the woods like you’d done as a child. You knew these trees, you knew these paths and if you could reach the creek, the old oak, the slope.
A low laugh rolled through the darkness behind you. You risked a glance over your shoulder. He was there. Of course he was there.
Not right behind you—no. That would have been mercy. He walked.
Effortless. Unhurried. His long strides ate up the ground with terrifying ease, but he didn’t run. He was holding back.
He was letting you widen the gap. Letting you think you were doing something. You simply pushed harder.
Branches whipped your face, roots lurked like traps beneath the leaves. The cold cut your lungs raw, causing a deep ache. Still, you ran. Because if you stopped, if you let yourself feel the way his gaze burned between your shoulder blades, you didn’t know what would happen.
“You’re fast,” his voice drifted through the trees. “For someone who’s never been hunted before.”
You nearly tripped at the sound. It was closer than it had any right to be.
“How—” you gasped, putting all your weight into climbing a small hill, “—are you...still talking?”
He chuckled and the sound was dark and almost joyful.
“You’re the one running,” he said. “I’m just enjoying my view.”
Heat flared in your chest. Anger. Embarrassment. A reluctant, unwanted thrill you didn’t have time to unpack. “You’re insane!” you shouted.
“Probably,” he called back. “Keep going. I want to see how far you think you can get.”
Your legs burned.
You veered left, deeper into the forest where the undergrowth grew thicker. You could hear water nearby, it was the stream. If you crossed it, maybe you could mask your scent, hide under the overhang near the rocks like you did as a child. You half-slid, half-stumbled down the incline toward the rushing sound.
The stream appeared in front of you, black and fast. You didn’t hesitate.
You splashed through, cold water biting into your boots, soaking your skirts. You reached the other side and scrambled up the muddy bank, fingers digging into damp earth. Your lungs screamed and your heart battered at your ribs.
You tucked yourself into the hollow under a large, tangled root system, the earth cool against your back. You stifled your breathing as best you could, pressing a hand over your mouth to muffle the gasps.
Silence.
Then, a footstep.
On the other side of the water.
Your entire body went still.
You couldn’t see him from where you hid, you could only hear him. The deliberate slosh of boots through water, the slow crunch of leaves on your side of the stream.
He knew. You squeezed your eyes shut, as if that would help. His voice came from far too close.
“Clever.”
You flinched.
“Most people run in a straight line,” he mused aloud, as if chatting with himself. “They don’t bother with cover. They think speed is enough.” A pause. “You broke my sightline. You crossed the water. You hid.”
Dry leaves shifted just beyond your hiding place.
“Very clever,” he repeated softly. “But you’re shaking the ground with your heartbeat, do you know that?”
You clamped your teeth down on your hand, hard enough to sting. He stopped right in front of your hiding spot. You didn’t breathe, couldn't breathe.
Time stretched. Hung. Trembled. Stopped altogether.
Then, with infuriating casualness, he crouched down and flipped the dangling roots aside like a curtain.
"Found you." He sang.
You stared up at him, chest heaving. He filled the entry, blocking the faint moonlight behind him. For a moment, neither of you dared to move.
His eyes roamed over you, taking in your damp clothes, mud-streaked knees, trembling fingers digging into the earth.
You expected mockery. Instead, he looked…pleased.
“You made it farther than he would have,” Adam said quietly. You didn’t have to ask who he meant, Victor probably already halfway to the next town over.
Coward.
“Let me go,” you managed, your voice hoarse. “You’ve proven your point.”
His head tilted. “Have I?”
“My heart is pounding, I’m filthy, I’m terrified. Congratulations.”
“Are you?” he asked. You frowned. “Am I what?”
“Terrified.”
Your throat tightened. “Yes.”
He reached in. You tried to kick, lash out, claw at him. It didn’t matter because his hand closed around your ankle with an unyielding grip, warm and solid.
He only had to tug once.
You slid straight out of your hiding place like prey dragged from a den.
You hit the ground on your back, air punching out from your lungs. Before you could scramble away, a shadow moved over you, and then he was there. One hand braced beside your head, the other still wrapped around your ankle, pinning you down with a fraction of his strength.
You could feel how careful that fraction was.
He leaned over you, his body heat seeping through your soaked clothes, the scent of damp earth and something electric clinging to his skin.
“Look at you,” he murmured.
You glared up at him. “Get off—”
“You’re shaking,” he cut in. “Breathing like you’ve swallowed the storm. Skin flushed. Eyes blown wide.” His gaze darkened. “You call it fear.”
Your chest rose and fell too fast and too uneven. “What else would you call it?”
His hand slid from your ankle to your calf, then to your knee, his touch slow, deliberate, never fully gentle. You felt every inch of contact like a spark.
“I’ve seen fear,” he said. “Real fear. The kind that stinks of sweat and piss and desperation.” His eyes burned into yours. “This isn’t that.”
You fought the urge to squirm. “Stop pretending I want this,” you snapped. “I didn’t ask—”
A harsh, humorless sound escaped him. “You didn’t say no either.”
Your breath stalled. “You told me to run.”
“Yes,” he said simply. “And you did. But not the way they do.” His eyes flicked down to your parted lips, then back up. “You looked back three times. Do you know that?”
You said nothing.
“You wanted to see me,” he murmured. “You wanted to know how close I was.”
“Because you’re hunting me,” you spat.
His mouth curved in a sinister way.
“Yes,” he admitted. “But tell me the truth.” His face lowered, his nose brushing the side of yours, his voice dropping to a rasp. “Did you really want me far away?”
Your heart slammed so hard it hurt.
You hated that he could read you. Hated that you couldn’t lie convincingly right now. Hated that somewhere beneath the panic and adrenaline there was a twisted, burning thrill at being seen like this by something so utterly, terrifyingly focused on you.
“Even if I did,” you whispered, “what difference does it make?”
Everything in his expression shifted.
He loosened his grip on your leg, only to slide his hand to your hip, fingers spreading as if measuring how much of you he could hold in his palm.
“It makes,” he said softly, “all the difference in the world.”
He lowered his head to your throat and you froze.
His nose brushed your skin, his breath warm against the rapid pulse hammering under the surface. He inhaled slowly, deeply, like he was committing your scent to memory.
A shiver tore through you. You couldn’t help it. He felt it too.
A low, pleased sound rumbled in his chest. “There,” he murmured. “That’s the truth.”
Your voice trembled. “You said you wanted Victor. Not me.”
“I wanted revenge,” he corrected, his lips ghosting over the hollow at the base of your throat without ever really touching you. “That’s different.” His grip on your hip tightened. “You, I want for something else.”
“Like what?” you asked, though part of you already knew.
His head lifted, his eyes locking onto yours.
“You really don’t know?” he asked, almost amused.
“I want to hear you say it,” you shot back, surprising even yourself with the challenge in your tone.
For a heartbeat, he just stared at you. Then the corner of his mouth lifted, not kindly. Dark. Wicked. Dangerous.
“Dangerous,” he murmured, almost to himself. “You’re dangerous.”
He shifted, his body settling more fully over yours, bracing his weight on his arms so he didn’t crush you but kept you pinned between him and the unyielding forest floor.
You were trapped.
“I’ve spent years alone,” he said, his voice growing rougher with every word. “Hiding in shadows. Watching life happen to everyone but me. Listening to their laughter, their pleasure, their cries.” His eyes flared. “Wanting. Always wanting. Never allowed to have.”
His hand slid up your side, fingers splaying against your ribs, the heat of his touch burning away some of the chill from the stream.
“And now…” He swallowed once, thickly. “Now you stand in front of me and tell me I should pretend I don’t want you?”
Your breath hitched.
“I didn’t—”
“But you didn’t tell me to stop,” he said. “You didn’t tell me to let you go. Even now,” he added softly, “you’re not telling me to get off you. You’re asking me questions.”
He leaned down until his lips hovered a breath away from yours.
“Tell me to stop,” he whispered, “and I will.”
The forest held its breath with you.
You stared up at him, every nerve lit, every rational thought drowned under the weight of his body, his voice, his attention. The world had shrunk to the space between his mouth and yours.
You could say it.
You could end this.
You could turn away from the cliff edge.
You parted your lips.
“…Don’t...don't stop,” you whispered.
His eyes flashed and for a moment, he looked almost startled. Then, slowly, something unmistakably feral slid into place behind his gaze.
“You are going to ruin me,” he said hoarsely.
His hand at your hip flexed, pulling you against him. His other braced by your head, fingers biting into the earth.
“Or I’m going to ruin you,” he added. “Maybe both.”
His forehead dropped to yours, the contact almost jarringly intimate.
“Say it again,” he murmured. “Tell me not to stop.”
You swallowed. “Don’t stop.” His jaw clenched.
“Once I start,” he said, voice shaking with a cocktail of hunger and warning, “I won’t want to stop. I won’t want to be gentle. I’ve never been given anything gently. Everything I’ve ever had, I’ve had to take.”
You held his gaze. “Then take me.”
Silence. Absolute, shattering silence. Then, something in him broke, quietly and completely.
“Gods,” he breathed. “You don’t know what you’re asking for.”
His mouth brushed your jaw, the corner of your lips, the edge of your throat. Each almost-touch made your body arch toward him of its own accord, seeking more.
His lips finally pressed firmly against your throat, not biting, but not soft either. His hand traveling your body drew your attention away from the cold, from the mud, from everything except the paths he traced.
The monster in the woods was worshiping you like a man starved.
The moment Adam caught the edge of your skirts, it was with a desperation that felt older than the grave. Fabric whispered and tore as he dragged it upward, his touch neither gentle nor hesitant, like a creature who had only just learned what wanting was.
Cold night air lashed your skin, raising gooseflesh that made you shiver. He noticed. Of course he noticed. There was nothing human left in his gaze now, only hunger, devotion, and something far more dangerous.
Moonlight broke through the clouds just long enough to illuminate the ruins of your clothes, scattered and ruined as he held you pinned between his body and the damp, trembling earth.
“This,” he growled, voice cracking like thunder, “was carved into my fate. I have earned it.”
He lowered his head, breathing in your arousal in like a man starved of warmth, starved of life itself. The air between you thickened, your own traitorous longing betraying every rational thought you’d ever clung to.
When your eyes met his, a crooked, sinful smile tugged at the edges of his mouth—too wicked for any mortal man.
“Scream,” he murmured. “No soul dares to wander far enough to save you from me.”
Then he claimed you, not with gentleness, but with the reverence of a worshipper kneeling before a forbidden altar. His touch was fevered, greedy, tasting, learning. His arm held you steady when your body tried to escape the intensity of him, though you no longer knew whether you wanted freedom or surrender.
Your breath hitched. Your voice broke. The world spun.
And yet it was not fear that hollowed you—it was something far sweeter, far more damning.
“I’ve decided,” he whispered against the tender skin of your thigh, breath uneven, “that I could spend eternity discovering you.”
He returned to your centre with slow, deliberate devotion, savouring every trembling moment. Your hands, dirt-streaked and shaking, flew to his hair, unsure if you meant to pull him closer or push him away.
Even you didn’t know.
“Harder,” he groaned, voice fraying at the edges. “If you wish to hurt me… then hurt me. I am yours to ruin.”
Stars burst behind your eyes like dying worlds, a pleasure you had never known until tonight. Adam rose in the moonlight, looking wild and starved and achingly alive. Hunger darkened his gaze as he captured your mouth with his, stealing whatever breath you had left.
This was wrong. This was sacrilege. You were betraying every law written for mortal souls.
“My creator,” Adam murmured against your throat, words sending a tremor through you, “must have shown me mercy.”
His weight shifted, his heat pressed to your hip, and your head tipped back with a gasp.
“I should have thanked him,” he said, lips curling into a wicked smile. “Because even after death, he left me the parts that make me a man.”
He didn’t let you answer, instead claiming you fully, and your body arched beneath him as the forest seemed to hold its breath. You clutched at his stitched, unholy skin, marking him with crescents of dirt and desperation, your claim etched into him like scripture.
The ground trembled. Birds erupted from their nests in panicked flight as Adam roared into the night, your bodies moving as though summoned by some ancient, terrible rhythm.
He pressed shuddering kisses along your neck, between gasped-out half-words, his voice a rough, reverent rasp in your ear.
“Mine.”
“Look at me.”
“Don’t hide from me.”
“Say my name.”
You didn’t know when you started saying it, but once you did, it didn’t stop.
“Adam.”
His body flinched the first time you whispered it.
No one had said it like that before. His breath hitched and his rhythm broke, but you didn’t care, you only clung to the dark, rising heat curling tight inside you, desperate now to chase it to its end.
You said his name again, and his control frayed further, his movements growing more desperate, more claiming. His hand tightened at your hip, his mouth hovering, then pressing, then dragging along your pulse.
You were both hanging off the edge by fingertips.
“You’re are mine,” he growled. “And I am yours.”
His hand closed around your throat with the helpless instinct of something made for ruin rather than tenderness. Through the blur of your tears, you managed only his name.
"Adam."
Then the two of you collided like storm-torn constellations, souls striking sparks in the dark as the sky twisted above you. His uneven breath tangled with yours, and an impossible, shattering pleasure unfurled between you as though the night itself had split open.
You didn’t know how long you stayed there, tangled in breath and heat and half touches under the watchful shadows of the trees. Time had no meaning in that hollow. There was only the rise and fall of his chest and the frantic rhythm of your heart.
When he finally pulled back, it wasn’t because he wanted to.
It was because he had to.
He stayed close, kneeling beside you in the leaves, one hand still on your waist as if to reassure himself you were real.
Your clothes were damp, your hair was a mess, your throat felt raw.
You couldn't have cared less in this moment. Adam watched you like he was memorizing the sight.
“What now?” you asked quietly.
He looked toward the direction of the village, where faint distant lantern lights flickered between trees.
“Now,” he said, “I finish what I came here for.”
Cold crept back into your chest. “Victor,” you whispered.
Adam’s jaw hardened. “I could break his neck with two fingers.”
“Will you?” You asked. He was quiet for a moment.
“I wanted to,” he said. “For years. I thought about it every night. About how his skull would feel in my hands. How easy it would be.”
He closed his eyes, jaw tense. When he opened them again, the anger was still there, but something else had joined it.
“You changed that,” he admitted.
You blinked, thrown. “Me?”
“You’re the first person who didn’t scream when they saw me,” he said. “The first who didn’t pretend I was invisible. The first who didn’t try to use me or run from me without looking back over their shoulder like they wanted me to follow.”
His gaze softened in a way that felt dangerous. Manipulative.
“You gave me something more interesting than revenge,” he said. “That’s… inconvenient.”
You almost laughed. “Sorry?”
“Don’t be,” he said. “If it weren’t for you, I’d be on my way back there right now to paint the trees with his blood.”
You shivered. Not entirely from fear. “What will you do instead?” you asked.
His fingers flexed on your waist. “I’ll let him live,” he said slowly. “For now.”
Relief and dread twisted together in your gut. “So you’ll leave?”
His hand tightened. “No.” The word dropped like a stone.
You stared. “Then what—” He leaned in again, his mouth hovering by your ear, his voice quiet and cruelly tender.
“I’m not leaving without you.” Your breath caught. “What?”
“You heard me.” You shook your head, trying to sit up fully. He let you, but stayed close, his presence a wall at your side.
“I can’t just disappear,” you said. “I have a life here. A home. People will—”
“Forget,” he said with a shrug. “They always do. Or they’ll tell stories about you the way they told stories about me. The woman the forest took.” His lips curled. “You’ll be a warning for children who think they can stray too far.”
“That’s not funny,” you snapped.
“I’m not joking.”
He cupped your face again, calloused thumb brushing the edge of your lip.
“I’ve spent years wandering alone,” he said. “I’m done.” His eyes burned. “You ran from me, and then you told me not to stop. You said my name like it meant something.”
“It does,” you said before you could stop yourself.
His breath hitched. "Then you understand,” he said. “I’m not leaving you here.”
“And if I say no?” you asked quietly.
He considered that, really considered it. You saw the war flicker across his expression.
“I don’t want to force you,” he said at last, voice raw. “I’ve had enough of being forced my entire existence.”
“But?” you pressed. He swallowed, his nostrils flaring.
“But if you stay,” he said, “they’ll hurt you. Not the villagers, the world. Men like him. Men worse than him.” He nodded vaguely toward where Victor might still lay. “They’ll see you, and they’ll want you, and they’ll try to take from you what you offered me freely.”
His eyes went black.
“I’ll feel it,” he whispered. “Even from miles away, I’ll feel it. And I’ll come back here and tear this place apart. I’ll kill them all.” His fingers dug into your jaw. “And it will be your fault.”
Your blood ran cold. “That’s not fair,” you said.
“I know,” he replied. “I never said I was fair.”
Silence hung between you, heavy and terrible.
“You’re asking me to choose,” you said. “Between my home and… you.”
“I’m not asking,” he said. “I’m telling you what happens either way.” Your chest hurt. “And if I go with you?”
His grip gentled and he stroked your cheek once, almost reverent.
“Then I’ll burn for you instead of the world,” he said simply. “I’ll be your monster. Your shield. Your ruin. I’ll give you every violent, ugly, precious part of me that no one else wanted.” His mouth hovered above yours again, close enough to feel the warmth. “And I won’t let anything touch you unless you ask for it.”
Your heart hammered against your ribs, bruising. “I don’t even know what that life looks like,” you whispered.
His smile was sharp and soft at once. “Neither do I,” he said. “We’ll find out.”
He straightened then, towering over you once more. He held out a hand as the forest watched.
The cottage stood somewhere behind you, full of fear and lies and the same grey days you’d always known.
In front of you, a monster who wanted you with unapologetic, terrifying clarity. A man stitched from rage and loneliness who’d decided you were the one thing he wouldn’t let the world keep from him.
He wouldn’t beg.
He wouldn’t promise you safety.
He wouldn’t promise you sanity.
What he offered instead was devotion sharpened into a weapon, and a life lived at the edge of the firelight.
You took a breath and you put your hand in his.
His fingers closed around yours, firm and absolute. Something like relief flickered across his face before he smothered it.
“Good,” he said, voice low. “Very good.”
He pulled you to your feet and didn’t let go.
You walked back through the trees together, his grip steady, his frame a shadow at your side. The cottage came into view, lantern light flickering weakly against the dark.
Victor still sat there, hunched and small on the ground near the clearing like a discarded marionette.
He looked up as you emerged. His eyes widened, darting from Adam’s hand around yours to your face.
“You can’t...” he croaked. “You can’t go with him. He’s a monster. He’ll...he’ll destroy you.”
You glanced at Adam as he watched Victor with the same sort of detached irritation one might reserve for a buzzing fly.
“You had your chance to care about what happened to me,” Adam said mildly. “You chose yourself.”
His gaze slid back to you.
“You’re sure?” he asked quietly enough that Victor couldn’t hear. “You can still say no.”
“And you’ll leave me alone?” you asked.
His jaw flexed once.
“No,” he said honestly. “I’ll just leave you. The rest of this place?” His eyes flicked to Victor. “I make no promises.”
You believed him as the weight of your choice settled in your bones like cold iron.
You squeezed his hand tighter. “I’m sure,” you said.
He nodded once. No smile. No grand display of joy. Just a small, precise shift in his posture, like something inside him finally unclenched.
He turned to Victor.
“You get to live,” Adam said. “You’ll tell them whatever story you like about what happened here. You always were good at lying.” He tilted his head. “But if I hear you’ve tried to chase us, to take her back, to drag her name through the dirt,”
He stepped forward, and Victor shrank back. “I won’t be nearly as merciful next time.”
Victor opened and closed his mouth, but no sound came out, but Adam didn’t wait for one, instead he tugged your hand.
“Come,” he said. “Before I change my mind and kill him anyway.”
reposted from my old blog, which got deleted:
Mary was a beautiful baby, sweet and affectionate, but by the time she’s three she’s turned difficult and strange, with fey moods and a stubborn mouth that screams and bites but never says mama. But her mother’s well-used to hard work with little thanks, and when the village gossips wag their tongues she just shrugs, and pulls her difficult child away from their precious, perfect blossoms, before the bites draw blood. Mary’s mother doesn’t drown her in a bucket of saltwater, and she doesn’t take up the silver knife the wife of the village priest leaves out for her one Sunday brunch.
She gives her daughter yarn, instead, and instead of a rowan stake through her inhuman heart she gives her a child’s first loom, oak and ash. She lets her vicious, uncooperative fairy daughter entertain herself with games of her own devising, in as much peace and comfort as either of them can manage.
Mary grows up strangely, as a strange child would, learning everything in all the wrong order, and biting a great deal more than she should. But she also learns to weave, and takes to it with a grand passion. Soon enough she knows more than her mother–which isn’t all that much–and is striking out into unknown territory, turning out odd new knots and weaves, patterns as complex as spiderwebs and spellrings.
“Aren’t you clever,” her mother says, of her work, and leaves her to her wool and flax and whatnot. Mary’s not biting anymore, and she smiles more than she frowns, and that’s about as much, her mother figures, as anyone should hope for from their child.
Mary still cries sometimes, when the other girls reject her for her strange graces, her odd slow way of talking, her restless reaching fluttering hands that have learned to spin but never to settle. The other girls call her freak, witchblood, hobgoblin.
“I don’t remember girls being quite so stupid when I was that age,” her mother says, brushing Mary’s hair smooth and steady like they’ve both learned to enjoy, smooth as a skein of silk. “Time was, you knew not to insult anyone you might need to flatter later. ‘Specially when you don’t know if they’re going to grow wings or horns or whatnot. Serve ‘em all right if you ever figure out curses.”
“I want to go back,” Mary says. “I want to go home, to where I came from, where there’s people like me. If I’m a fairy’s child I should be in fairyland, and no one would call me a freak.”
“Aye, well, I’d miss you though,” her mother says. “And I expect there’s stupid folk everywhere, even in fairyland. Cruel folk, too. You just have to make the best of things where you are, being my child instead.”
Mary learns to read well enough, in between the weaving, especially when her mother tracks down the traveling booktraders and comes home with slim, precious manuals on dyes and stains and mordants, on pigments and patterns, diagrams too arcane for her own eyes but which make her daughter’s eyes shine.
“We need an herb garden,” her daughter says, hands busy, flipping from page to page, pulling on her hair, twisting in her skirt, itching for a project. “Yarrow, and madder, and woad and weld…”
“Well, start digging,” her mother says. “Won’t do you a harm to get out of the house now’n then.”
Mary doesn’t like dirt but she’s learned determination well enough from her mother. She digs and digs, and plants what she’s given, and the first year doesn’t turn out so well but the second’s better, and by the third a cauldron’s always simmering something over the fire, and Mary’s taking in orders from girls five years older or more, turning out vivid bolts and spools and skeins of red and gold and blue, restless fingers dancing like they’ve summoned down the rainbow. Her mother figures she probably has.
“Just as well you never got the hang of curses,” she says, admiring her bright new skirts. “I like this sort of trick a lot better.”
Mary smiles, rocking back and forth on her heels, fingers already fluttering to find the next project.
She finally grows up tall and fair, if a bit stooped and squinty, and time and age seem to calm her unhappy mouth about as well as it does for human children. Word gets around she never lies or breaks a bargain, and if the first seems odd for a fairy’s child then the second one seems fit enough. The undyed stacks of taken orders grow taller, the dyed lots of filled orders grow brighter, the loom in the corner for Mary’s own creations grows stranger and more complex. Mary’s hands callus just like her mother’s, become as strong and tough and smooth as the oak and ash of her needles and frames, though they never fall still.
“Do you ever wonder what your real daughter would be like?” the priest’s wife asks, once.
Mary’s mother snorts. “She wouldn’t be worth a damn at weaving,” she says. “Lord knows I never was. No, I’ll keep what I’ve been given and thank the givers kindly. It was a fair enough trade for me. Good day, ma’am.”
Mary brings her mother sweet chamomile tea, that night, and a warm shawl in all the colors of a garden, and a hairbrush. In the morning, the priest’s son comes round, with payment for his mother’s pretty new dress and a shy smile just for Mary. He thinks her hair is nice, and her hands are even nicer, vibrant in their strength and skill and endless motion.
They all live happily ever after.
*
Here’s another story:
Gregor grew fast, even for a boy, grew tall and big and healthy and began shoving his older siblings around early. He was blunt and strange and flew into rages over odd things, over the taste of his porridge or the scratch of his shirt, over the sound of rain hammering on the roof, over being touched when he didn’t expect it and sometimes even when he did. He never wore shoes if he could help it and he could tell you the number of nails in the floorboards without looking, and his favorite thing was to sit in the pantry and run his hands through the bags of dry barley and corn and oat. Considering as how he had fists like a young ox by the time he was five, his family left him to it.
“He’s a changeling,” his father said to his wife, expecting an argument, but men are often the last to know anything about their children, and his wife only shrugged and nodded, like the matter was already settled, and that was that.
They didn’t bind Gregor in iron and leave him in the woods for his own kind to take back. They didn’t dig him a grave and load him into it early. They worked out what made Gregor angry, in much the same way they figured out the personal constellations of emotion for each of their other sons, and when spring came, Gregor’s father taught him about sprouts, and when autumn came, Gregor’s father taught him about sheaves. Meanwhile his mother didn’t mind his quiet company around the house, the way he always knew where she’d left the kettle, or the mending, because she was forgetful and he never missed a detail.
“Pity you’re not a girl, you’d never drop a stitch of knitting,” she tells Gregor, in the winter, watching him shell peas. His brothers wrestle and yell before the hearth fire, but her fairy child just works quietly, turning peas by their threes and fours into the bowl.
“You know exactly how many you’ve got there, don’t you?” she says.
“Six hundred and thirteen,” he says, in his quiet, precise way.
His mother says “Very good,” and never says Pity you’re not human. He smiles just like one, if not for quite the same reasons.
The next autumn he’s seven, a lucky number that pleases him immensely, and his father takes him along to the mill with the grain.
“What you got there?” The miller asks them.
“Sixty measures of Prince barley, thirty two measures of Hare’s Ear corn, and eighteen of Abernathy Blue Slate oats,” Gregor says. “Total weight is three hundred fifty pounds, or near enough. Our horse is named Madam. The wagon doesn’t have a name. I’m Gregor.”
“My son,” his father says. “The changeling one.”
“Bit sharper’n your others, ain’t he?” the miller says, and his father laughs.
Gregor feels proud and excited and shy, and it dries up all his words, sticks them in his throat. The mill is overwhelming, but the miller is kind, and tells him the name of each and every part when he points at it, and the names of all the grain in all the bags waiting for him to get to them.
“Didn’t know the fair folk were much for machinery,” the miller says.
Gregor shrugs. “I like seeds,” he says, each word shelled out with careful concentration. “And names. And numbers.”
“Aye, well. Suppose that’d do it. Want t’help me load up the grist?”
They leave the grain with the miller, who tells Gregor’s father to bring him back ‘round when he comes to pick up the cornflour and cracked barley and rolled oats. Gregor falls asleep in the nameless wagon on the way back, and when he wakes up he goes right back to the pantry, where the rest of the seeds are left, and he runs his hands through the shifting, soothing textures and thinks about turning wheels, about windspeed and counterweights.
When he’s twelve–another lucky number–he goes to live in the mill with the miller, and he never leaves, and he lives happily ever after.
*
Here’s another:
James is a small boy who likes animals much more than people, which doesn’t bother his parents overmuch, as someone needs to watch the sheep and make the sheepdogs mind. James learns the whistles and calls along with the lambs and puppies, and by the time he’s six he’s out all day, tending to the flock. His dad gives him a knife and his mom gives him a knapsack, and the sheepdogs give him doggy kisses and the sheep don’t give him too much trouble, considering.
“It’s not right for a boy to have so few complaints,” his mother says, once, when he’s about eight.
“Probably ain’t right for his parents to have so few complaints about their boy, neither,” his dad says.
That’s about the end of it. James’ parents aren’t very talkative, either. They live the routines of a farm, up at dawn and down by dusk, clucking softly to the chickens and calling harshly to the goats, and James grows up slow but happy.
When James is eleven, he’s sent to school, because he’s going to be a man and a man should know his numbers. He gets in fights for the first time in his life, unused to peers with two legs and loud mouths and quick fists. He doesn’t like the feel of slate and chalk against his fingers, or the harsh bite of a wooden bench against his legs. He doesn’t like the rules: rules for math, rules for meals, rules for sitting down and speaking when you’re spoken to and wearing shoes all day and sitting under a low ceiling in a crowded room with no sheep or sheepdogs. Not even a puppy.
But his teacher is a good woman, patient and experienced, and James isn’t the first miserable, rocking, kicking, crying lost lamb ever handed into her care. She herds the other boys away from him, when she can, and lets him sit in the corner by the door, and have a soft rag to hold his slate and chalk with, so they don’t gnaw so dryly at his fingers. James learns his numbers well enough, eventually, but he also learns with the abruptness of any lamb taking their first few steps–tottering straight into a gallop–to read.
Familiar with the sort of things a strange boy needs to know, his teacher gives him myths and legends and fairytales, and steps back. James reads about Arthur and Morgana, about Hercules and Odysseus, about djinni and banshee and brownies and bargains and quests and how sometimes, something that looks human is left to try and stumble along in the humans’ world, step by uncertain step, as best they can.
James never comes to enjoy writing. He learns to talk, instead, full tilt, a leaping joyous gambol, and after a time no one wants to hit him anymore. The other boys sit next to him, instead, with their mouths closed, and their hands quiet on their knees.
“Let’s hear from James,” the men at the alehouse say, years later, when he’s become a man who still spends more time with sheep than anyone else, but who always comes back into town with something grand waiting for his friends on his tongue. “What’ve you got for us tonight, eh?”
James finishes his pint, and stands up, and says, “Here’s a story about changelings.”
Everyone is born with 3 dates on their wrist. One represents when you will accomplish your life’s goal, one is when you will meet your soulmate, and one is when you will die right down to the second. Yours are all the same day within a minute of each other.
I was five years old when I found out what the numbers on our wrists were. It was whispered about on the playground, imparted in the same hushed tones that would share bad words, or question the existence of Santa Claus, or discuss where babies really came from.
My best friend’s big brother had just hit one of his dates, at 13. The day he met his soulmate, a boy in the year above him at his new school.
At five, we didn’t use the word “soulmate”. The way Anna explained it to us was instead: “One of them is the day you finish your biggest goal, one of them is when you meet your true love, and one of them is when you’re gonna… die.” That last word was whispered, but we all still heard it and felt how ominous it was.
We compared our dates, because of course we did. Counting on our fingers how far away the dates were. Some of them were close together, some where not. My numbers were special, being all the same day. What a day that would be. But 26 sounded so very far away.
As I grew up, I realized that 26 was not really very old, though. For a while, I felt very put upon. It wasn’t fair that I was going to hit all three milestones within a minute of each other. Not even getting a chance to enjoy my success or my true love before it was time for me to die.
I was there when Anna met her husband to be. We were 19, and she had been talking about nothing else for like a month in advance. But we got lost in conversation, and when he knocked on her shoulder to hand her something she had dropped, she didn’t know what time it was.
But as she turned to face him, I saw the numbers light up on both of their wrists for a moment, and then fade away. And I knew. Of course, I could’ve told by the looks on their faces as well, they were ridiculously and immediately besotted. I don’t know if it’s a self-fulfilling prophecy or not, that priming yourself to meet your soulmate might make you more open to it when it happens, but I’ve seen it happen enough times to know that it’s the real deal either way.
It’s kind of strange, knowing what your life expectancy is like. The people with years ahead of them plan differently than the people who know they’re going to die young. I dated a bit, but never got serious. I’ve seen plenty of people have good relationships with people who are not their soulmates, perhaps even marriage and children, knowing that their soulmates are years away still.
But for me, I never got super into any relationship. I didn’t want to hurt anyone. And kids were never an option for me. Not that I didn’t want them, but leaving them motherless so young seemed cruel.
So I threw myself into my work. For me, my goal was to write a story that had a real impact on someone else’s life. A lot of the people I knew who were destined to die young had goals like mine, wanting to leave some kind of lasting impact on the world.
Researching my story, I made contact with a brilliant surgeon named Kathryn. She lived in another city, but we had a good online relationship. She was funny and smart, and didn’t treat me like I was crazy when I came with her with strange medical hypotheticals to work out for my story.
I put her first in the list of people I wanted to dedicate the book to, and invited her to the big release party, and to my surprise she said yes. I hadn’t told her it was on my date. I hadn’t told anyone about my dates for a long time.
I sat at a little table to sign my book for anyone who wanted it, and my publisher’s daughter came up, clutching the book to her chest and with a look of awe on her face that made me smile to myself.
“Miss Daren? I just wanted to tell you, this book changed how I look at myself, and…”
She kept talking, but I could barely hear her, because I noticed one of my dates had just flashed up and then faded away on my arm. So this is it, I thought to myself, as I smiled at the girl and signed her book when she offered it to me. My life’s goal all out of the way.
I felt a hand on my shoulder, and turned around just to come face to face with the most gorgeous woman I had ever seen. Tall and dark, with her braided hair in an advanced style and wearing an amazing red dress. I recognized her immediately from the photos I’d seen of her online.
“Kathryn?” I sighed, both so happy to finally see her in person and realize that hey, I actually got to know my soulmate, just without knowing that that was who she was, and at the same time so angry at a world that would give me such perfect happiness just to snatch it away. Angry at a world that would make me hurt her like this.
She had seen the numbers flash up on both of our arms and then fade away. She was smiling at me, and I wanted to be happy, but all I could say was “I’m so sorry,” before the stress of the moment, combined with an unknown congenital defect in my heart made the darkness rise up from behind my eyes and claim me.
And then something I never expected happened.
I woke up.
I woke up in a hospital room full of beeping machines and strange smells, and there was Kathryn in a chair next to my bed, still in that red dress and looking simply amazing, although kind of tired.
“How?” I managed to ask. “I was supposed to–”
“I know,” she whispered, taking my hand in hers and squeezing it gently. “Technically, you did. Luckily for both of us, I am very good at my job.”
“I never realized that it was even possible.”
“It’s rare, but it happens. Us surgeons are a stubborn bunch, and if we have to wrench you out of the hands of Death himself, then we will.”
I turned my arm over and looked at my wrist. A new number. Almost 80 years in the future. I took Kathryn’s hand, turned it over. Saw her one remaining number.
“We’re going to die together,” I said, disbelievingly.
“Only when we’re really old,” she replied.
And after a few moments, we both started laughing. And we laughed until we cried, and then laughed some more.
I can’t believe I get to grow old with her. I can’t believe I’m so lucky.
so i was watching cinderella while doing my nails and waiting for them to dry which was clearly a Mistake because now i can’t help but think -
the evil stepmother was always evil, okay. say her abuse of her own daughters was different than that of cinderella’s - but it was still abuse. giving them impossible expectations, telling them they were never good enough, never pretty enough, never smart enough. and then she gets married, and anastasia and drizella are ecstatic because this man seems kind and warm and maybe just maybe he can temper their mother, maybe with him around she won’t be so cruel. so they’re on their very best behavior in the beginning, they do just as their mother taught - they trot out their best upper court manners in an attempt to get their new stepfather to like them. but it just comes off as cold and snooty and they’re trying, they are, they’re just bad at it. and they see how he is with cinderella, the smiling girl their own age, and they are jealous. they don’t mean to be, they try not to be, they know it isn’t becoming of young ladies. but she gets hugs and kisses and affection and they get rulers slapped on their hands when they reach for desert and sharp jabs to their sides when they slouch and - soon they hate cinderella, not for anything she’s done, but for what she has and they dont
but then her father dies. and it’s all a tumble of things and cinderella is crying and they’ve lost their only chance at escaping their mother’s clutches and it’s terrible. and everything settles and there’s no reason to be jealous anymore but resentment is hard to let go of and they don’t know what to do. they’re only kids too after all. and they’re so terribly bad at comforting people, they can do flowery words and know all the right bows but cinderella is so sad and they just don’t know what to do with that, because they’re supposed to be sisters but they’re not even friends
and slowly but surely their mother starts abusing cinderella, starts making her a maid in her own home, and she’s their mother, what are anastasia and drizella supposed to do? she rules them with an iron fist, and cinderella doesn’t even like them anyway, it’s none of their business.
except one night anastasia crawls into her sister’s bed in the middle of the night and wakes her up. “i was thirsty,” she explains, eyes wide and shiny, and they’re bad at this with other people but drizella has no problems with pulling anastasia into her arms. the younger girl clutches her sister and continues, “i was thirsty and i went down to the kitchen to get some water and - and cinderella is still up! she’s doing the dishes, and she should be asleep, mom is going to make her make breakfast in the morning and -” she cuts herself off with a hiccup and whispers, “it’s not fair.”
“life isn’t fair,” drizella says, echoing one of their mother’s favorite phrases. but her sister is staring at her with wet eyes, and it’s not like their mother is likely to get up before sunrise anyway, she hates waking up, so she pulls herself and anastasia out of bed and off they go.
— summary: you’re a college student in need of some quick printing at the local library. while you’re there, you meet the newly hired librarian assistant: a 6’5 tall long-haired man with a sweet disposition
The compact clock ticks as it hangs over the wooden desk. The space is cluttered with scattered papers and pens as the spine of your back is hunched over it. The cheap plastic chair you bought on a whim for your apartment creaks under the weight of your shaking leg. Your laptop is posted in front of you with your fingers typing diligently away. You pause for a moment and recline against the chair. Your back arches as you bring your arms up in the air until a faint pop echoes through the small bedroom. Your eyes glance down to the miniature time on the corner of your laptop.
“It’s 5:37 PM… Still have enough time in the day to do whatever I want.” You mumble mindlessly to yourself.
Your hands lower to the desk and start clearing off the sheets of notes previously used for the essay. The sheets are placed inside of their designated folders as a faint ding comes from your phone. Your eyes squint in confusion as you read the notification on your lock screen.
ESSAY UPDATED REQIUREMENTS: Needs to be PRINTED and handed in person tomorrow for class.
Your jaw slacks almost cartoonishly, “Printed?!” A gasp leaves your lips. Your mouth open in a continued state of shock.
Your fingers rush to pick the phone up and fumble through your passcode. Your eyes scan the screen as they triple check the email from your professor. An exasperated sound comes out of your mouth while your hands tangle themselves in your hair.
“What do I do? I don’t have a printer!” You cried. You begin to anxiously pace on the carpeted floor. Fluffy socks padding against the wooly ground.
Your teeth bite down on your bottom lip out of habit, “I could head to the library? I think it was still open the last I went around this time.” You nod positively to yourself.
With a new sense of self-assurance, you promptly begin inserting your things into a nearby tote bag. Little huffs of air leave from your nostrils as a method to self-soothe. Your feet slip out of your house slippers and into a comfortable pair of shoes. The jacket that was previously thrown carelessly over your bed is now fitted on your body. With a quick look into the mirror, you try to flatten down any stray hairs into a more presentable look.
“Okay! Time to go.” You smile to yourself.
A gush of air flies through you as you exit the front door. The icy wind bites away at your face and you scrunch your nose in displeasure. Walking down the steel stairs connected to the apartment building, you make your way to the still parking lot. You hum a low tone as you unlock your car, trying to distract yourself from the cold seeping into your skin. Shoving your bag into the passenger seat, you situate yourself at the wheel and insert your key. The mechanical machine rumbles awake under your weight. After looking into your blind spots and the rearview mirrors, your foot press down onto the gas pedal. The drive to the college library was steady and peaceful, for a moment you forgot the reason for the late-evening drive. You pull up to the campus building and swiftly park into an empty parking spot. The lights from inside the library were still on but there was an absence of people evident. Pulling onto the handle of the driver’s side, you push the door open while extending your other arm to retrieve the tote bag. After slinging it comfortably on your shoulder, you tread towards the library’s doors.
Your fingers meet the cold metal of the handles as you push them inwards. The humming sound of the building’s AC fills your ears. Your eyes adjust to the intense illumination overhead. Rows of shelves containing books consume your worldview. Your footsteps are the loudest sound to be heard apart from the circulating whirring. Letting out a soft exhale, you pause and twist your head around to find the front desk. As your eyes scan the area, you spot a dark-haired man sitting behind a large desk to the left side of the room. Strands of his umber colored hair hide his features as he hunches over the novel. Large slender fingers tenderly hold the sides of the covers. You pause for a moment before leisurely walking over to him. The thumping of your steps grows louder as the distance closes between the two of you.
“Um, excuse me?” You call out softly.
The man’s figure jolts straight as he lets out a muffled grunt. His head shifts upwards towards the sound of your voice. His eyes are wide as he meets your gaze. Lips partly open as if he were nibbling on his bottom lip ever so lightly as he read. He rushes to stand up with a sheepish smile.
A low-toned voice sounds out, “Welcome. What can I assist you with?” He says with a manner of rehearsed presentation.
Your eyebrows rise in pleasant surprise at the sound of his voice. You feel at a loss for words while you study his previously hidden features. Pale, almost light blue skin, littered with faint red scars across his face with the biggest and prettiest brown eyes you’ve ever seen. His hair length is long enough to fall to his broad shoulders. He brushes a strand behind his ear.
“Huh…” Rings out in your head momentarily before you realize you haven’t replied to the man.
Heat rushes to your face. A sense of light-headiness waves over you as you fumble with your speech, “Oh, I just wanted to know where the printers were at?” You squeak out.
You mentally pinch yourself at the awkwardness, “Since when were the librarians here so attractive?” You rhetorically ask in your thoughts.
The last time you came here was for a study group after a biology class. Although the librarian at the time was an old sweet lady who had poor vision. You wonder if he was going to be a permanent addition to the campus. Your fingers grip the strap of your tote bag, grounding yourself with the rough material between your fingertips. His eyes study your nervous demeanor while his face furrows with a lightly pouted lip. His hands twitch at his side with some of his fingers bending outwards. You assume this as an anxious habit to your reaction and immediately stop your fiddling. You straighten your back somewhat and flash him with a small grin. He seems to relax at the change in posture, his shoulders dropping its tension.
“They are in the computer laboratory, next to the non-fiction shelves but I can lead you to them if you wish?” He steadily responds, an accent clinging to his husky voice.
You nod without a second thought, hanging onto every single word. He lets out a pleased huff and promptly stunters out from the chair. His sweater’s long sleeves drape over his knuckles, swaying with every movement. Your eyes observe the gentle maneuver of his limbs. He turns to you and wordlessly gestures with a tilt of his head to accompany him. A small noise escapes your lips as you pick your feet off the ground and follow behind. Your vision fills with the sight of his broad back. His shoulders drooped and arms hidden under the comfort of his sweater. A pair of black sweatpants hang on his hips and cut at his ankles. A sense of embarrassment fills your stomach as you ogle this poor man. You let yourself gaze over his body one last time but abruptly stopped by the same back. His sudden freeze in movement causes you to bump into him, face first.
“Ouch,” You whispered quietly, an awkward grimace appears on your features.
He lets out a small noise of surprise as he whips his head to you. His body is nearing closer as he brings his arms upwards. A whiff of pine tree and coconut scented soap circulates near you. Slender fingers delicately reach your bumped nose with an evident frown on his face. The full lashes on his face flutter rapidly in clear unsatisfaction.
He speaks out gravelly in an apologetic tone, “Please accept my apologies, I did not mean to hurt you.” His face scrunches up ashamedly.
“No, no! It’s okay, I was the one who bumped into you. I wasn’t watching. I was…um, distracted.” You rambled out clumsily.
You lift your own hands to his gently splayed fingers on your nose bridge. He diligently inspects the skin. An evident expression of displeasure sticks despite your words. His large frame overpowering yours as you take this moment to look closer at his eyes. One of his eyes seem slightly larger than the other, a faint shade of red swirls in it.
Before you could stop it, you mutter lowly, “Pretty.”
His fingers cease their inspecting motions, freezing under the touch of your fingers. His dark eyes widen comically large with a flush painting his cheeks and nose. A croak leaves your throat as you stare at him in shock. Your face burns deeply under his gaze. A knowing but shy smirk curls on his face. You drop your hands to your sides, fingers curling into your palms. He follows suit in an unhurried manner. Long sleeves swiftly fall to his torso as he turns back around. He lets out a shaky breath unheard by you. Fingers that held your nose delicately now twitched.
“The printers are located in this room here. I will be at the front desk if you require any assistance.” His voice deeply resonates out.
“Thank you…” You murmur.
He twists his head to face you one last time, letting his eyes fall over form. He intakes a sharp breath as he catches your eyes. There’s a strange but deep sense of affection in those doe-like eyes of his. You swallow a gulp before forcing yourself to part away from his heavy observation. He takes your reaction as his cue to leave, leaving you with a hesitant smile before rushing back to the front of the library. You stand motionless outside of the doors of the computer lab, watching the muscles of his back shift. A soft buzz brings you out of your frozen state. Your fingers reach into the tote bag slung over shoulder and pull out your phone. The notification was a set reminder to submit your essay on time.
You curse under your breath in annoyance. Twisting the handle of the door, you enter and instantly spot the large printer next to a row of computers. The door clicks shut behind you as you swiftly make your way to it. You draw out a nearby chair and slip your laptop out of the tote bag. Briskly typing in the login, you’re able to pull up your essay with no issue.
“Thank God for good Wi-Fi.” You mutter to yourself.
The printer whirrs and hums while processing the document. Letting out a stream of noise as it ejects the sheets of paper with freshly inked text. They’re warm on your fingertips when you carefully retrieve them. A pleased hum comes from you. After arranging them neatly in a folder, you stuff all your items back into your bag. You exhale dramatically in the quiet room. The recent interactions flash through your head. You let out an exaggerated groan but shake your head sideways as if to expel the thoughts. You press the power button on the side of your phone to briefly check the time. You weren’t sure when the library closed but you didn’t want to cause the cute guy, who helped you, to stay longer than needed. The phone slips back into the tote bag and you silently hype yourself up to interact once again with the unnamed pretty librarian on duty.
You exit the computer lab and start treading to the front desk. You see him sitting down reading the same novel as before but with a half-comfortable position. Almost as he was expecting to talk with someone soon.
You clear your throat before you speak, “How much per sheet? You ask.
He looks at you from under his dark eyelashes and grins sweetly, “It’s $0.15 per sheet.” He recalls with a hint of pridefulness at himself for remembering the detail.
“Okay! Here you go.” You reply cheerfully and hand him your student id.
He holds it meticulously and purses his lips as he reads it. His lips mouth your name in a quiet whisper.
“Hm. Pretty.” He mumbles.
You shift your weight on your feet in a flustered state. To play off normalcy, you continue pulling out your wallet and shuffle through your assortment of coins before you grab the ones needed. Your open palm is extended out towards him expectantly. His own scarred hand hovers over yours for a second. His eyes lock onto the passing touch of your skin as he picks up the coins with care. He counts them under his breath while he transports them from your palm to his. His gruff voice intimately low between the both of you. If you were reading too much into this, you would think he was dragging this exchange with purpose. A silly smile rests on his face as he finishes counting.
You let out a giggle at his expression, “Thank you…?” You pause, hoping to learn the name of this endearing man.
“Adam.” He responds with haste, the low rumble of his voice accompanying it.
He rubs the back of his neck as he huffs a chuckle. His chest rising and falling with the deep breaths he takes between the soothing action. You repeat his name back to him with a curl to your lip. He looks directly in line with your eyes and presents you with a toothy smile. A happy hum passes through his lips at the sound of your voice. He nods as to reassure you that that is his name, the one that so sweetly left your lips.
“Well, goodnight, Adam.” You say to him.
He hesitates before mimicking your farewell, “Goodbye.”
Your body moves away from the front desk before your mind does. Adam continues to stay upright as he watches you step out into the night. Scanning the form of your figure until you’re nothing more than a blob of colors hidden by the dark. He looks down to his hands and tenderly traces the skin of his palm. The same hand that was able to touch you for small but perfect moments. Thoughts of the sweet librarian consume your thoughts even as you reach your car. A hope blooms in your chest for the chance to see him again at a later date.
Tag - Your It: @zombrigit I wanna see Tavikka's
@meeshrox thanks for the tag!
Nora Feyre aka Ailioinora Lathanyll Feyre from from Threadbare
More explanations below the pics
Miss Feyre, sailing into Grymforge, already tired of this shit.
Animal: Black Mamba - A snake that is considered beautiful and also offputting, it is one of the most dangerous snakes. Generally shy, but becomes one of the most aggressive attackers when threatened.
Colour: Lavender - it's the color of her eyes
Food: Cornbread - Nora hails from Keystone, West Virginia. It had to be cornbread, fatback, or soup beans.
Drink: Bourbon - Smooth Ambler is a favorite brand, but any half-decent one will do. She drinks it neat, usually from a jelly jar, or straight from the bottle in a pinch.
Movie: V for Vendetta - Her favorite movie, although she liked the graphic novel better.
Inspo: The women in my own family history who were the reason my line survived long enough to make me, and who made the world just a smidge better while they were at it. This is not one of them - but is a pretty valid image if I had pictures of them.
Song: "She's an Actor" by Austin Giorgio.
The lyrics are such a perfect encapsulation of how Nora got to the place that she's in:
She's the good type acting like the bad guy
Was never really loved right, trust was always out of sight
Season: Summer – Nora loves summer nights, especially up in the mountains she grew up in, where the fireflies light the ground so bright it you don't need a flashlight.
I think once Wyll manages to get rid of the 24/7 demon surveillance he's had since before adulthood, that man is READY to get his Freak™️ on.
Wyll has had years of solitude and endless trashy romance novels to inspire him. He has a master list of sex acts and kinks he wants to experience or explore. They're all annotated and ranked based on how much he thinks he'll be into them. Each is listed from "easiest to do once he's released from non consensual devil chastity" to "practically a quest in of itself to achieve".
Wyll has traveled Faerun and seen all the beings it has to offer. He's canonically a monster fucker. He has a matching journal for his chosen partner so they can go decide what they want to pursue as a couple. Wyll may be old fashioned when it comes to courting but NOT when it comes to the bedroom.
Wyll: "Before we pursue this endeavor the poets call romance, before we decide to write our names in the stars as a shared soul of two bodies, before I call you mine and me yours, I must first ask you peruse this Tome of Desires I have created."
*slams down an absolutely massive book with tabs and streams of ribbon spilling out of it from all sides*
Wyll: "If you would just fill out the accompanying Tome of 'Yes, No's, and Maybe's' our love will begin expeditiously."
the fact that the end of All Systems Red implies that the entire thing is a letter from Murderbot to Mensah is so outrageously funny when you think about the fact that at some point after she realizes MB disappeared, she gets a gigantic letter from it that starts with "I could have mass murdered everybody, but I discovered TV first instead. Everybody say thank you, TV."
We should teach children about miscarriage during sex ed. Here’s why
A reported one in four pregnancies will end in miscarriage. Yet miscarriage, like abortion, is not included in most curricula
I feel this in my bones
Miscarriage and still births are still so taboo, which contributes to/exacerbates the feelings of isolation and despair which often follow. And it's not at all helped by the misinformation that's out there.
Some of the most unhelpful types of advice I frequently see involve versions of 'avoid stress', which, if you think about it for more than a minute is not only something of an empty platitude, but also makes no sense given the number of full-term babies born into extremely stressful conditions throughout human history
Properly understanding and talking about the potential vagaries of pregnancy might also go some way to challenging anti-abortion rhetoric, which tends to fetishise pregnancy (always at the expense of the pregnant person. And reality). It was quite apparent that some of them don't understand how pregnancy works when those US politicians started waffling about 're-implating foetuses' during in ectopic pregnancies... I dare say people like that have never heard of a molar pregnancy, for example.
Basically, we need to demystify pregnancy for everyone's sakes
Miscarriage is such a lonely, lonely thing, and people so often act like you deserved it. I think if people realized the percentage of pregnancies that end in miscarriage, that might, you know, stop.
I think this is the moment I completely fell in love with Iris - I mean, we already know her to be smart, and competent, and brave, and cool under pressure, and very believably ART's sister, but this. This is the passage that truly highlights her emotional depth and how much she loves ART.
And also, this is what made the concept of ART and other ships like it grounded in reality for me. Because, how do you make sure that an almost god-like machine intelligence with free will also has good will toward the humans it's surrounded by and has the power to annihilite on a whim? How do you prevent it from becoming the terryfying, murderous AI overlord we like to imagine when talking about non-organic intelligences?
And this is an answer I'm willing to buy - you love it. You don't just develop it in a lab, you give it a family. You give it loving parents, you make it someone's sibling, and you raise it, and let it grow and mature like you would a human child. You don't just value its utility, you cherish its personhood.
I just have a lot of feelings about ART and Iris's relationship, okay?