Be That As It May....

Your iota of potential truth ain't worth shit here

[woonyoung]

Dino rhythmic gymnastics and Trex’s improvement. Please enjoy~ :) 

[snowysauropteryx]

Can you lick the science? An abbreviated list.

Genetics: Do not. Unless cheek swabs?

Chemistry: NO!!!!! DO NOT!!!!!!

Archaeology: Perhaps. But might be human bone.

Geology: Sometimes needed, sometimes dangerous 

Psychology: Best not.

Physics: ????????? How??????

Zoology: In zoology, science licks you. 

[seananmcguire]

Anthropology: Maybe ask first.

Herpetology: bad plan bad plan BAD PLAN

[whisperwhisk]

Sociology: Yes, if you have time and dedication and a willingness to piss a lot of people off.

Botany: You might hallucinate or die, OR it might be delicious

Computer Science: the tingle of electricity on your tongue is how you know it’s working

Epidemiology: FOR THE SAKE OF THE WORLD PLEASE DO NOT

[carpebutts]

Linguistics: Despite the name, please probably don’t.

[son-of-rome]

Engineering: Maybe, but it’ll probably taste like spreadsheets 

[thyrell]

Software engineering: nothing else has made the code work so you might as well try it

[thegutsofgod-deactivated2022040]

Astronomy: ….how long is your tongue?

[vivacia-18]

Microbiology: Jello for bacteria is not jello for humans so no, not a good idea.

[st-pam]

[kateordie]

Yeah c'mon

[boredpanda]

Dad Of 4 Girls Tweets Conversations With His Daughters, Proves Parenting Is Fun

[sourcedumal]

Lmfaoooooo children will roast you. Truly

[amuzed1-deactivated20241106]

The 5-year-old is SAVAGE. LOL

[thislifeshitistrash]

“I read her the instructions” 😂😂😂

[kurtwagners]

Well if you want to see how the Tibetan community as a whole thinks about Doctor Strange, heres some stuff from my Facebook feed

Tendor and the people mentioned in his post are all pretty well-known public activists and personalities in the Tibetan community so I didn’t bother censoring names.

check out this new video where SFT member Pema Dolma talks about Doctor Strange 

[notatroll7]

islandnymph:

justjengie:

hersheyhipster:

the-pareidolia-paradigm:

you have been visited by the seven magic dragon balls your biggest wish will be granted but only if you reblog

Couldn’t risk it.

didn’t realize they change colors. now I know o gotta wish.

THIS SHIT IS REAL I GOT THE JOB I WAS NUTS ABOUT BC I REBLOGGED THIS YESTERDAY maybe it’s a coinkidink but it okay just take the necessary steps to achieve what you’re wishing for and YOU CAN DO IT

[gael-garcia]

video

[kehinki]

I want an inverse spy flick. The spy is a woman. Her whole team is made up of diverse women. All the villains are women. There is only one man in the entire movie and he is a Strong Male Character who is like 25 and decently ripped and has a scene where he slowly steps out of a pool wearing speedos because he is Confident and In Control of His Sexuality. We see his ass when he has to tug down his pants to get at the knife strapped to his thigh. His nipples are always erect for no fucking reason.

[saskawitch]

They are undercover in a nightclub. In order to keep their cover from being blown, he has to kiss another man. 

He knits to relieve stress and to keep his mind sharp. It is never discussed by any of the characters. 

[followthebluebell]

Someone asks him how he knows how to do Traditionally Feminine Thing. “I have four sisters,” he answers.

This is also how he knows how to fight while armed with nothing but a purse, a high heel shoe, and a can of hair spray.  During this fight, he is, for no apparent reason, shirtless.

[roachpatrol]

The lead spy is Helen Mirren. She nails the Action Boy in the shower. There’s a lot of lingering closeups on the way the shower spray runs across his breathlessly ecstatic face. We also hear every breathless whimper of his climax, while out in the hallway Lucy Liu is smoking impatiently, a duffel bag full of rocket launchers slung over her shoulder. The President isn’t going to kidnap herself, here, christ. 

Action Boy emerges in a small towel, sheepish yet radiant. Helen Mirren emerges in a tuxedo, also smoking, also with a duffel bag of rocket launchers. 

[teashoesandhair]

In one scene, the lead villain captures the Strong Male Character. He is, once more, inexplicably shirtless as she ties him to the chair. He makes some quips about his sexual independence before he is rescued by a sweat-drenched Helen Mirren, who kicks down the door and nukes everyone in the room. Strong Male Character’s hair remains perfect throughout the ordeal. 

[gateswideopen]

Strong Male Character is heartlessly slain in front of Helen Mirren’s eyes despite all of his skills and combat prowess. His body slumps to the ground, lifeless but supple. Helen Mirren makes a witty quip at Strong Male Character’s killers before quickly and dramatically slaying them all.

She steals one last glance at Strong Male Character. His beautiful eyes stare back from a handsome face with perfectly tussled hair, lips positioned a if in a gentle sigh. There’s no bringing him back now. Helen Mirren walks away, stronger than before. Strong Male Character’s death has hardened her, but given her the strength and resolve to complete her task. 

[imorca]

Roll credits. 

An after credits preview clip comes on as a teaser. Helen Mirren with a huge explosion tearing things up behind her walks toward the camera with a new Strong Male Character wearing the tiny, tattered remnants of a burned shirt about his flexing pecs and deltoids, and he is carrying the bag of rocket launchers as he steps in behind her. 

[tygermama]

So Matt Bomer?

I’m seeing Matt Bomer

and then fandom burns itself to the ground trying to find some guy to slash him with

[valeria2067]

Nah, Matt Bomer is almost 40. Despite his good looks and great bod, he’s way too old to play the shaggable romantic supporting character to 70-year-old Helen Mirren.

Matt Bomer plays Helen Mirren’s sadder-but-wiser ex, computer-savvy, gorgeous but still single, fiercely independent (but it’s all an act).

Helen Mirren shows up on his doorstep to ask him for one last hacker job, for old time’s sake. Matt hauls off to slap Helen in the face, but Helen catches his wrist, pulls him close, and kisses him long and hard. Matt struggles at first but finally melts into her embrace.

Lucy Liu strolls past them into Matt’s chic apartment, slapping Matt on the ass as she mutters “Some things never change, do they?”

Late the next night, as Matt and Helen hack into the CIA database, Helen tucks a stray lock of Matt’s hair behind his ear and asks him why there’s no husband or kids in the picture after all this time.

Matt turns his sad, beautiful eyes toward her and confesses that there has only ever been Helen for him, but he couldn’t stand never knowing if she would come back alive when she left on a mission. Helen and Matt nearly have a moment, but the computer beeps with the results of their search.

The next morning, Helen goes into the kitchen to find Matt’s 20-year-old nephew has come to stay for the weekend. Helen and the camera slowly pan up and down his gorgeous, toned, oiled-up and glistening body as he stands, nearly-naked but for his tight, black satin booty-short underwear, and starts making a gourmet vegetarian omelet.

He turns around and smiles at Helen. “You must be a friend of Uncle Matt. I’m Caden. You hungry?”

Helen’s eyes drift down to Caden’s bulging crotch. “Oh, I could eat,” she quips.

[elementilda]

Helen Mirren and the actor who plays the 20 year old nephew get together in real life. Everyone is delighted by this. 

[fidelioscabinet-blog]

I don’t think financing this would be a problem; distribution probably would. We could hack into the network feed for the Super Bowl, perhaps.

[deep-fried-devil]

I would watch this a million times

[jennaambervisions]

I love this so much I’m gonna illustrate it.

Here is @kehinki‘s part 1

[glitterv4]

OK, seriously, why isn’t this movie already real?

[ospreyarcher]

Somewhere a male studio exec has woken up screaming in agony, and he doesn’t know why. 

[themarysue]

this post wins ALL OF THE AWARDS

(after-credits sequence reveals Ming Na-Wen was the REAL mastermind all along, as she lights a cigar and puts her feet up on The Rock’s naked, crouching form)

[eternalsojourn]

You are all hired.

[yagazieemezi-deactivated2022030]

I lose followers every time I say “trans women are women”

so I’m gonna keep saying it until I weed out all ya

[audscratprophetlilith]

I’d rather see my follower count drop than have anyone following who can’t handle the notion that TRANS WOMEN ARE WOMEN.

[ravennomad]

Very very true.

[justsylvari]

Maybe it’s a magic spell of “ass be gone” 

Trans women are women. True fact. 

[nezclaw]

TRANS WOMEN ARE WOMEN.

TRANS MEN ARE MEN.

[stfuprolifers]

I honestly lose followers every time I make this affirmation. Like what the hell?

[pro-abortion-rights]

I need to say it AGAIN? Trans women are women. Trans men are men. Come on, people.

[shut-up-hippie]

TRANS WOMEN ARE WOMEN TRANS MEN ARE MEN THEY ARE STILL VALID EVEN IF THEY CANNOT GO THROUGH TREATMENTS

[fromchaostocosmos]

Trans women are women and trans men are men. No matter what.

They are always valid no matter what.

[sherlockscarf]

TRANS WOMEN ARE WOMEN

TRANS MEN ARE MEN

Doing a little follower-weeding of my own.

[tzikeh]

I like this

[refinery29]

This is what it looks like when non-straight, non-white, non-male people get to host late night shows

Dunking on the “Blacks for Trump” woman and a Carmilla shoutout is the kind of glorious content we have to look forward to when networks finally stop hiring only straight cis white dudes to host late night shows. Please.

Gifs: Late Night with Seth Meyers

[anti-capitalistlesbianwitch]

I just discovered the “Jokes Seth Can’t Tell” segment last night, and I am delighted.

[jhameia]

This is so great, everyone’s having fun and laughing with each other and just enjoying sharing each other’s delivery of the joke

[micdotcom]

Watch: Anti-racism activist Tim Wise traces the historical context of Donald Trump’s use of race

[justlatasha]

Is this man still alive

[writing-prompt-s]

You’re in charge of assigning every child on Earth the monster under their bed. One child in particular has caused every monster assigned to him/her to quit. You decide to assign yourself.

[kittenwiskers]

Case: #273402 Status: Disastrous.

I stare at the file and realize I have no options, over the last 2 years every monster assigned to Charlotte Dower has quit, every last one. Her first monster; a giant goldfish-faced humanoid named Bubba, had been with her for four years, and then she wasn’t scared of him anymore. After that it was a string of different common, uncommon, and rare monsters… I even assigned a sentient sock monster to her. He came back crying! I look on my tablet, only one assignable monster left; myself. Field work has never been my cup of tea, but desperate times call for desperate measures. So at 8:03 pm, after Mrs. Gideon tucks in Charlotte and her little brother Daniel; I slither into the space beneath Charlotte’s bed. Across the room underneath Daniel’s crib is a rookie, Chico, a standard Creep kind of monster. I turn my attention to the bed above me, Charlotte is still awake but barely, I reach up over the bed and run an ice cold finger over her cheek, silence, so I do it again. “I’m not afraid of you monster!” She whispers, but her voice is shaking. I can see a small clock on the wall 8:14, a door somewhere in the house slams and there is an audible hitch of breath from above me. A few minutes go by I can hear Francis Gideon yelling at his wife. There are heavy footsteps on the stairs, and loud panting breaths, Charlotte scrambles off the bed and… She. CRAWLS. Under. The. Bed. With. Me. “Move. Over!” Charlotte hisses at me. I do. The door to the bedroom slams open and I smell the stench of human intoxicants before the man even steps inside. I know why Charlotte isn’t afraid of any of my monsters; she’s afraid of her own. Francis reaches a hand under the bed and I thrust my wrist into it, he starts to pull, I slither out. “What the…” I cut Francis’s next words off by unfolding to my full 12 foot height. Looming over the drunken man I caress my cold fingers down his face. “If you ever touch, scare, or harm my child again, I will find you, and I will do the same to you, for all eternity.” I promise to him. As Francis runs from the room he soils himself. I pull Charlotte from under the bed, tuck her back under her covers and kiss her forehead goodnight. “I’ll be back tomorrow night, sleep well darling.” Charlotte Dower is my child, I am the monster under her bed.

[bi-est-witch-of-middleearth]

WELL GODAMN, WE HAVE OURSELVES A WINNER

[gabbyzvolt25]

Holy shit I’m gonna cry that’s beautiful.

[freifraufischer]

[badscienceshenanigans-deactivat]

DRAG THEM NEIL

[did-you-know]

Doohan served with the Canadian Army, and lost the middle finger of his right hand when he was shot at Normandy. 

He did his best to conceal the missing finger during his acting career, but sometimes tribbles happen.

Although technically he was not a member of the Royal Canadian Air Force, he was once labelled the “craziest pilot in the Canadian Air Force” due to things like slaloming a plane between mountainside telegraph poles just to prove it could be done (which earned him serious reprimand).

Source

[stfuprolifers]

Pregnancy-Related Deaths Doubled in Texas After Abortion Clinics Closed

Funny how those two things coincide.

Two years after the closures, researchers found that the number of Texas women’s-health program served was cut in half — and low-income women in particular had more unwanted pregnancies and more babies. What’s more, a survey conducted in 2015 found that, since the closures, an estimated 100,000 women in Texas have attempted to self-induce abortion. 

This is horrifying and unacceptable.

[eve-made-the-right-choice]

This is what anti-choicers want. This is not a bug, it’s an intended feature. We’ve been telling them that this would happen for decades. They know.

[stayingwoke]

Y’all still not voting.

[newwavefeminism]

Jarring

[liberalsarecool]

The design of Republican policies is to make things worse.

Abortions are Constitutionally allowed. If your opinion is you don’t like them, good for you. You don’t get to control or intimidate others.

Ever notice no doctors are behind legislation. It’s only male, conservative politicians from rural districts. No one from a big city is fighting to hurt mothers. No one from NYC or LA or Chicago is trying to shut down Planned Parenthood.

[steviemcfly]

Trump is only two points ahead in Texas now. If you’re in Texas and vote third party or don’t vote this year, I will personally never forgive you for stealing the joy of watching the GOP freak out at Texas going blue from me.

[cumaeansibyl]

hell, even if Trump only wins Texas by two points it’ll be hilarious, given that Texas always goes red by double-digit margins

Arizona, Utah, and Georgia are also in play, I believe. if you live in a traditionally red state, double-check your polls. it may be a lot closer than you expect.