I need to talk about Azriel's bonus chapter for a minute.
First of all, this is peak yearning. My man is dying for Miss Elain Archeron.
"Too many razor-sharp thoughts sliced him anytime he grew still enough for them to strike. Too many wants and needs left his skin overheated and pulling taut across his bones. So he only slept when his body gave out, and even then only for a few hours."
This language is so intense. He's practically crawling out of his skin because of his desire for Elain. Imagine wanting someone so badly that the thought of them alone makes it feel like your skin is overheating, pulling tight against your bones, and being sliced with razors. He's in pain.
"Soft steps padded from under the stair archway, and there she was."
Not there Elain was. There SHE was. He's consumed with thoughts of Elain, and then she appears. There is only one SHE for Azriel, and it's Elain. She glows like the sun at dawn. Azriel is waxing poetic again, just like he did the first time he met Elain.
"She hadn't bought her mate a present. But she'd gotten Azriel one last year--a headache powder he kept on his nightstand at the House of Wind. Not to use, just to look at. Which he'd done every night he slept there. Or attempted to sleep there."
Elain isn't doing anything to encourage Lucien or his affection, but she is for Azriel.
The intimacy of putting something on your nightstand to look at...you see it before you close your eyes to sleep at night and you see it the moment you wake up. He's thinking about Elain at the most intimate times of the day, during the night when we are the most vulnerable, alone, and quiet. He's consumed with thoughts of Elain and her attention to him. The way that she notices him.
"He chuckled...he offered a smile back."
No one is eliciting joy this consistently out of Azriel except Elain. She has him laughing and smiling.
"Her mate had been in the family room and Azriel had needed to stay by the door the whole time because he couldn't stand the sight of it, the scent of their mating bond, and needed to have the option of leaving if it became too much."
He is so tormented by that mating bond that he can't stand to be in the same room, even as Elain shows zero interest in Lucien. He can't even stand the thought of something being between himself and Elain, and it hurts him so much that he needs to be able to flee the scene because it triggers such a visceral emotional reaction. Damn, baby.
"Put it on me?" His head went quiet.
What?? Mr. Razor-Sharp thoughts finally has a moment of peace in his restless, tortured brain? Because Elain is making her affection for him clear? You don't say.
He thinks at length about how wrong it is to touch her. While I think he respects mating bonds in general, most of his thoughts are about how he isn't worthy to touch her. He thinks about his own faults more than anything. This one kills me:
"Such terrible things that it was sacrilege for his fingers to touch her skin..."
Excuse me, sir? He thinks he would be desecrating something HOLY to touch her. This man is worshipping her. Forget the Cauldron and the Mother. Elain Archeron is his religion.
But he could have this. This one moment, and maybe a taste, and that would be it...Just this taste in the dead of the longest night of the year, where only the Mother might witness them."
HELP. In the quiet, cloaked in the stillness of night and darkness, he could have a taste of Elain. Finally, this woman he's been longing for, pining after, is offering herself to him. This is so tragic and devastating for someone who is the king of restraint, who works and trains until he collapses, to finally allow himself a taste of what Elain is offering him. Only on the longest night of the year, in secret, can he finally have what he wants.
"Elain's mouth parted slightly, her eyes scanning his before fluttering shut. Offer and permission."
SOS! HELPPPPP. It's mutual! She wants him as badly as he wants her. Under the veil of night they can finally show each other how they feel. 😭😭😭
So... obvious setup for Elain and Azriel's story. Here's what SJM is hinting at:
Sneaking around. They're going to do it under everyone's noses. They both knew who was in the house, and they knew they were in the hallway, not locked away in some room, in private. We are going to get scenes of those two risking it all. Risking getting caught because they need each other so badly. 🥵
Forces trying to keep them apart. Fae society. Politics. Their own flaws. Potentially nefarious outside sources.
Their love story is going to be so epic, fam. I can't wait for their books!