Turn those lights off!

[flightsofwonder]

being an adult is just saying to yourself “this is the weekend i’ll clean my [x]” and then proceeding to not do that because it’s the weekend and you deserve to relax, goddamnit

[flightsofwonder]

why does this have 85K notes

[randomslasher]

because we reblogged it instead of cleaning our [x]

[snail-cupcakes]

seeing vincent price and peter lorre together feels like this to me :]

[betasunkern]

[captain-price-official]

[grinnersmiler]

[osmosisjones]

love wins

[solstacoded]

Visit Original Link

[cerayanay]

Claudia watching Lestat from hell mourn by writing a song honoring her and being offended by Louis paying someone to pretend to be her

[some-pers0n]

TWO FACTOR AUTHORIZATION

light thats not how the book works

MICROSOFT TEAMS

[faggotette]

[mlarayoukai]

[noelle-ism]

*finishes a movie* that was awesome. i cant wait to see what 2-3 middle-aged dudes from milwaukee that people write rpf about had to say about it. i hope they like it

[noelle-ism]

theyre having middle-aged gay sex instead of talking about the movie again. damn it

[kittensnax]

nothing in tf2 can ever compare to overwatch sprays

[nice-homestuck-reference-bro]

how come the furry in the spray looks like OP’s icon

[nice-homestuck-reference-bro]

[joey-wheeler-official]

Staff approved version

[tyrannosaurus-rex]

[rugbin]

Dinner at the Diner

[viralfrog]

[antigonickpdf]

overheard in the coffee shop from a middle aged gay man to his (female) friend: “are you embarrassed? about being foolish? please manage yourself better in this situation. this man is not behaving as if he is interested in you.”

[antigonickpdf]

“he’s evil. like jeff bezos. Do you understand.” and she’s just nodding with eyes downcast in shame

[antigonickpdf]

meanwhile some influencer is filming a mukbang three feet away. he’s wearing a domo hat exactly like this one but it’s neon blue and he’s slurping loudly over the idiot sandwich lecture happening nearby

[antigonickpdf]

i forgot to add this until now but after the gay guy was done scolding his friend and they left, their table was taken up by an aging european twink telling a wealthy-looking bubbe with increasing distress about how much cold cut meat he’d eaten the night before and the funnier she found it the more distraught he got about his nighttime deli frenzy

[antigonickpdf]

he was like [completely unidentifiable european accent] after you went to bed. i ate ze ham. and ze mortadella also… and. also the prosciutto. no stop giggling at me zis is not funny it was 500 grams each. i ate 500 grams of ze ham and 500 grams of ze mortadella and 500 grams of ze prosciutto and that is ONE POINT FIVE KILOGRAMS OF MEAT !! I ate so many meats!!! Stop giggling at me i am going to be fat!!!! I even ate ze cheeses!!!

[antigonickpdf]

so many people are tagging this with some variation of “that coffee shop was full of such interesting people i wish i could go somewhere like this to people watch” and as a seasoned eavesdropper i need you all to know that people are this weird wherever you go. recently my gf and i were observing a gaggle of real estate broker bros hopped up on stimulants pacing around like caged tigers and performing homoerotic rituals through the proxy of their iced lattes and it wasn’t even 10am on a tuesday. the world is a beautiful place full of intricately bizarre human animals waiting to be studied

[liro-art]

Maybe some locks were only meant for one key 👀

[yournonbinarypal]

[estrogenesis-vaporeongelion]

"I have decided to stick with love. Hate is too great a burden to bear. For everything else, there's Mastercard."

[angelicguy]

guy left at work today and someone replied to his goodbye email with this

[vren-diagram]

a hot tip you may not know about tumblr desktop: you can use the j/k keys to go back and forth by one post! it's like vim!

[vren-diagram]

crucially, it doesn't matter how big the post is!

[official-kircheis]

unfortunately 'd' doesn’t delete someone else’s post