nhl The kind of captain every team searches for! // Wishing you all the best in retirement, @/jonathantoews!
ig 26.6.19
d e v o n
almost home
RMH

#extradirty

Andulka
Cosimo Galluzzi
dirt enthusiast
Sade Olutola

Origami Around

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Not today Justin
h
Monterey Bay Aquarium
Mike Driver
$LAYYYTER
KIROKAZE
occasionally subtle
he wasn't even looking at me and he found me
PUT YOUR BEARD IN MY MOUTH

@theartofmadeline

seen from Poland

seen from Pakistan
seen from Nepal
seen from United States
seen from United States
seen from United States
seen from United States
seen from United States
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seen from United States

seen from United States

seen from United States

seen from United States
seen from United States
seen from United States
seen from United States
seen from Türkiye

seen from Bangladesh
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seen from United States
@larrylove-x
nhl The kind of captain every team searches for! // Wishing you all the best in retirement, @/jonathantoews!
ig 26.6.19
“Shane fuck Shane help we fucked up, we lost Ilya, I swear he was here one second ago and now-“
“Haas, where are you right now?”
“The club by the hotel.”
“And he’s not in the bathroom?”
“No.”
“Not on the roof?”
“No.”
“Not trying to access any of the dancers poles?”
“What? Why would- Oh, Troy says no.”
“Is he hanging out with drunk girls in the women’s bathroom?”
“Umm, one sec. Harris, can you ask her if Ilya is in there? … Harris says no.”
“Ok. What were you talking about before he disappeared?”
“We were trying to figure out where to eat.”
“Did anyone bring up sushi?”
“He didn’t say he wanted-“
“Just answer the question.”
“Uh yeah, someone suggested it, but he said he wanted-“
“He’s at the pier.”
“What?”
“He got bored, sushi put fish on his brain, which made him think about water, and he likes going to piers, and the hotel is walking distance from a boardwalk by the water. He’s there, most likely trying to look at fish going under the dock.”
“… How do you know that?”
“Do you have any ideas how many times I have gotten this exact phone call? He’s easier to catch if you bait him with mozzarella sticks but make sure he knows he only gets them if he comes quietly. If you let him negotiate he will take the sticks and run. Cliff always fell for that.”
Early in Shane’s first year with Ottawa, he takes a bad hit on the ice and is knocked unconscious. When he wakes, he discovers he can hear everyone’s thoughts. His excitement is quickly dashed when he discovers that Ilya thinks primarily in Russian so even though he can hear his husband’s thoughts, he can’t understand most of them. Shane doubles his efforts in studying Russian. He hires a tutor and basically any free time he has, he’s studying Russian. He even asks Ilya to speak Russian to him when they’re at home so he can learn faster. Ilya is happy to oblige and by the end of the season, Shane can understand most of Ilya’s thoughts.
They’re warming up on the ice when Shane zeroes in on Ilya’s thoughts. They’re in Russian but he can pretty much understand everything: ‘God, my husband is so hot doing his little stretch. Everything he does is so fucking hot. I’m so fucking lucky. I need to focus, but I really want to kiss him. Would he get mad if I kissed him right now? Maybe just on the cheek? Or-oh shit, he’s looking at me! Why am I so nervous? Oh, he’s coming over here! Maybe to talk about the game? AH! He kissed me on the cheek! The way he’s looking at me, my heart is about to beat out of my chest. Yes, my love, I will calm down…wait, how does he know I’m flustered? Oh, Shane says my smile is goofy. For a second, I thought he could read my thoughts. That would be crazy…unless…Shane if you can hear my thoughts, kiss me on the lips. AH! HE KISSED ME ON THE LIPS! SHANE, MY LOVE YOU CAN HEAR ME, YES? I LOVE YOU! DO YOU HEAR ME, I LOVE YOU! COME BACK HERE! DON’T SKATE AWAY FROM ME!’
Oh shit wait ok
So one year for charity different pro athletes get asked to participate in a live game based on one of those “how well do you know your partner” games but instead it’s “how well do you know your rival” and participating means you get to raise money for a charity of your choice and obviously Shane and Ilya want to promote the Irina Project so they agree and go up against other current famous rivals from other sports
And Shane and Ilya discuss ahead of time that obviously they’ll have to just play things off as they usually do, light hearted chirps back and forth and what not, “winning” is just for the show and won’t impact how much money gets made for their charity so it doesn’t matter. Except then they get there and become overtaken by the need to Win and Be the Best and they are the best. So without needing to discuss changing the plan, as soon as the questions start they lock in and decide that actually they have to demolish everyone else
The other rivals are laughing and making jokes at the questions but Shane and Ilya are deadly serious and the host starts to get a little weirded out by the fact that they actually know the answers and aren’t just saying things like “how many goals last season? Probably one less than me haha” and actually have each others stats memorized
Because the audience is loving it they go to a lightning round that’s just Shane and Ilya and it’s now the usual couple game questions and they’re still getting them right because they can make excuses for knowing later, right now is about Winning
“What is Shane’s favorite breakfast?”
“Kale protein shake with a scoop of peanut butter and a handful of blueberries.”
“Ok um, what is Ilya’s favorite breakfast?”
“Two sausage egg McMuffins with an extra slice of cheese and hashbrowns.”
“What is something on Shane’s bucket list?”
“Sleeping in one of those see through igloos under the northern lights.”
“What is something on Ilya’s bucket list?”
“That thing where you feed giraffes at a zoo.”
“Ok last one. I think we all know Shane’s answer is former paramour Rose Landry, but who do you think is the most famous person Rozanov has ever slept with is?”
*through teeth gritted so tight he is in danger of chipping one* “Probably a model. Or something.”
“… Yeah, let’s go with that.”
Years later when they’re out Shane reshares the clip and the only non-PR approved thing he says on the matter is “It was me, by the way. I am the most famous person Rozanov has ever slept with.”
HEATED RIVALRY 1.06: THE COTTAGE + HRTwT VERSION
he was down SO BAD IMMEDIATELY
it's starting to get blurry here
I have this head canon that in 2015 shane accidentally steals ilyas lucky hoodie. It's 2015 specifically because it's the year after ilya wins the cup and the year shane wins the cup for the first time. And shane has had it in his possession for every cup he's won. He's been hidding it in his pillow case and sleeping with it in his bed the entire time. I can't decide if shane himself has independently found the hoodie to be a good luck charm or not. Ilya doesn't find out shane had it the entire time until they are packing shanes home in montreal. Ilya is conflicted of course he goes back and fourth on feeling betrayed and besotted. On one hand his shane stole and kept a piece of his clothing and slept with it in his bed to feel closer to him. On the other shane stole his lucky hoodie and won 3 cups with it.
okay stay with me for this one.
When Ilya moves to the Centaurs he doesn’t get to keep his number. Some old fuck on the team already has it and refuses to trade, no matter how much Ilya bribes him.
so, in true Ilya Rozanov fashion, he picks the number 24. People think he did it to be an asshole, which is true, but he also did it to have Shane with him all the time. Shane was both infuriated and touched by it.
but then of course, years later, SHANE transfers to Ottawa. And lo and behold, the old fuck who had number 81 retired, so when Shane has to choose a number?
81 is available.
so the first day of training, Shane walks into practice in a jersey that says Hollander, 81, with an absolutely shit-eating grin on his face.
and Ilya goes insane.
Okay I'm gonna write it
Ilya Rozanov, service top
mr. & mr. real estate ♡
Pens superstars share special bond.
19 💌 88 : ON BECOMING THE #1 US-BORN POINT SCORER ↳ PRE-GAME CEREMONY - VGK @ DET (MAR. 4, 2026)
people have said good things about you behind your back, without your knowledge. people have shared their love for you with others.
actually insane LOL
bropenice ig
And is that what you want? To be together? So much. So much it scares me.