figuring it out

raiv • 23 • they/them • eng + kor • polytheistic norse pagan • working with loki and freyja follows from: lietpolska

[laufreyjarson]

hi !!

my name is raiv (they/them) and i’m a gender nonconforming + bisexual polytheistic heathen who worships loki and freyja! :)

i’ve been a pagan since 2017 but have recently adopted the more specific term of heathen after feeling this is the right path for me! this blog will mostly be me figuring out how this new chapter is going to work in my life and sharing/consuming any information about the religion that i can!

i’m also interested in other pantheons as my general ancestry lies in multiple regions of europe and i feel drawn to so much of it, so there’ll be some posts of information with those every once in awhile as well.

for the record, this blog has no tolerance and no place for any;

• terfs / transphobes

• homophobes

• neo-nazis

• white supremacists

• racists / xenophobes

• ableists

• etc

if you’re none of these or anything of the sort, you’re welcome stay for the journey into heathenry with me!!

[laufreyjarson]

i definitely need some good news soon. too much stuff has been thrown at me these past few months. i hope everybody's doing good and well wishes to everybody :)

[laufreyjarson]

you know, something i've been thinking about recently is identity in relation to worship and devotion.

so often i see people rearranging their entire lives to accommodate what they think a devotee should look like. but i've always thought, isn't it so much more meaningful to incorporate your deities into who you are?

i have so many interests that have nothing to do with my deities. my main hobby/interest that i spend most of my time and money on doesn't involve paganism at all. i work with loki and freyja, yet my room and the area around my altar are filled with pastel pinks/blues and the walls are covered with posters.

i wanted to make bracelets for both of them that i could wear everyday, and so i coordinated palettes for both of them that fit with my usual wardrobe. i had some alone time at home the other day, and instead of using it to sit at my altar and do some typical divination (that i would normally do), i decided to light their candles while i had a dance party.

everyone's practice is their own, and i encourage you to do what's comfortable for you. if that means revolving a lot of your life around your deities, i totally respect that! but i also think there's beauty in balancing other things with your devotion, and maybe letting your gods into it too. letting them know that they matter to you and you want them to be part of it. that you'll carve out a space for them, no matter what it is.

[lokavisi]

I know I've had my struggles with this. I think if you grew up in a certain brand of Christianity like I did, where you were taught that Jesus/God/the Church, etc. should be Everything™️ to you; it's easy to feel like our devotion and relationship to deity needs to be very visible and apparent in all facets of our lives. And not just being present, but being the entire focus of all aspects of your life.

Inviting Loki and other deities into the life I'm already living has been so much more rewarding and healthy for me mentally and emotionally. It can be hard to remember sometimes because of my upbringing, but it is much simpler to invite Loki to join me on my daily commute than to go out of my way to forego social obligations or community bonding that I would otherwise benefit from just to spend time with them. Restructuring my life to focus on them deprives me of so much of life that Loki has repeatedly told me to live. So it would contradict our work together, which makes doing that seem all the more bizarre.

I also feel like it makes the relationship more reciprocal. When thinking about the gifting cycle and hospitality, both core values in Heathenry, it feels better to be yourself and share that with them than become something you're not in an effort to please them. I feel like the more authentic you are with them, the more authentic they will be with you. Your relationship with them, like all others, is a two-way street that works best when everyone is honest and true to themselves.

Just my thoughts and opinions on the matter. I hope I didn't stray too far from OP's intended message. 😅

[laufreyjarson]

i absolutely agree!!

i think it's really interesting to get this from an ex-christian perspective because my parents are christian, but i had identified myself as being agnostic from around age 7 until 15 (when i converted to paganism), and we've arrived at the same conclusion!

i had never gone to church unless forced by other relatives (my parents didn't want my siblings and i to attend) and it never interested me. i formed an entire life, routine, and identity completely separate from religion, which created a lot of struggle in the earlier years of work with my deities!

i've found it easier to adjust when i incorporated my devotion into my pre-existing lifestyle, instead of trying to carve out a specific space for religion that has never been true to who i am anyway, and would only exist for image-related purposes in the pagan community

at the end of the day, i just want to share my life with my deities/let my guard down with them, and the way i do things kind of reminds me of when my grandma puts figurines of football players in her nativity scene every christmas...😆

[laufreyjarson]

i cannot stress the importance of having a devotional journal that is just filled with notes and scribbles and nonsense. i love to write letters or prayers in mine but i also jot down notes, write lists, draw doodles that have nothing to do with my devotional work. it keeps me in the habit and makes it easier to have the journal on hand for various needs, which in turn, encourages me to write in it more

i definitely do understand the need to have everything separated (i mean, really. you should see the organizational systems i live by regularly), but something about having letters to my deities right next to outfit plans, makeup look routines, vacation packing lists, or a variety of notes/brainstorming sessions is so satisfying to me and starts to deepen my bond with the figure(s) i am working with

[laufreyjarson]

i've never really been confident in my looks throughout my life. i think gods are only worth what you make of them, and can only fit into your life if you can interpret what a deity wants for you as an individual.

to me, Freyja is a goddess of self-worth. i believe loving yourself and celebrating your beauty are battles she wants you to fight. it's part of why i got her name tattooed on my wrist. on days like today where i feel down because i'll never be able to understand why i look the way i do and why i dislike it so much, i like to think she's the person in my corner who wants me to overcome more than anybody else.

nothing really beats that feeling!

[laufreyjarson]

i've got this residual nausea settling in my stomach, this thrumming in my chest that makes me tremble. it's like something inside of me is trying to break free and i'm stifling it, or maybe my environment is stifling it, maybe it needs to be stifled. it's this feeling that i should be somewhere else, and i used to feel this way so much while growing up and i still can't figure out what it's trying to tell me! i could just need to get outside more. i should slow down and think. maybe i'm meant to keep daydreaming about the nap i took on the spongy grass of the lofoten islands 7 years ago. i don't know, but i keep crying with no explanation and hoping for something to happen, some kind of answer to this restlessness i can't settle

[aleck-le-mec]

“Where are your pagan gods now?”

Gardening

Comforting your abandoned dead

Reclaiming

Rerooting

[laufreyjarson]

been a little inactive for a bit, hi everyone!

i got a new job that i start later this month, so i've been doing everything i have to in order to prepare for that

other than that, i've been loving this autumn weather. what a simple pleasure it is to sleep with my bedroom window open at night ☺️

[laufreyjarson]

five months later, i'm still working this job (preschool teacher) and i love it! but oh my goodness the work/life balance is terrible. i cannot figure it out. i haven't had time for anything devotional because i haven't had time for anything at all- i am not a person outside of work these days! no motivation whatsoever and it's really saddening sometimes because i have so many hobbies i love to do that i haven't had time for...

i'm giving my altar a bit of a makeover these upcoming weeks because it's not very functional right now so that will hopefully help!

if anybody happens to see this and wants to give some advice on how to navigate having a life/personality outside of a full time job (working 9am-6pm everyday mind you) , please feel free to share!!!

[laufreyjarson]

something about the start of spring makes my heart try to burst out of my chest, it races so easily these days. my skin is buzzing and i'm restless. i don't know what it is about this time of year but it feels so magical and i'm so in tune with my surroundings- i feel so light on my feet like i'm floating yet still so weighted. is it the new life? cool breezes? warmth after a long winter? seeing a cluster of purple flowers growing in my yard? i don't know! but everything is just so tender and my heart is aching all the time, and it almost hurts but i love it all the same

[laufreyjarson]

been a little inactive for a bit, hi everyone!

i got a new job that i start later this month, so i've been doing everything i have to in order to prepare for that

other than that, i've been loving this autumn weather. what a simple pleasure it is to sleep with my bedroom window open at night ☺️

[chrissabug]

Sol and Mani

The Sun and Moon

[jaded-witch-baby]

Casual late night reminder that witchcraft does not always need to involve spells and candles and crystals and cards. Some days it is my embroidery and my tea against the world and that is OKAY

[samwisethewitch]

One of my favorite parts of working with Freyja is getting to witness her constant shifting between different aspects. She's a goddess of plenty. She's a goddess of the dead. She's the fertility of the earth and the bounty of the harvest. She's vengeance. She's a goddess of womanhood. She's a goddess of sexual "deviancy." She's the glitter of gold and gems. She's the Seeress prophesying doom. She's all of these things at once, and I love witnessing her vastness.

[laufreyjarson]

you know, something i've been thinking about recently is identity in relation to worship and devotion.

so often i see people rearranging their entire lives to accommodate what they think a devotee should look like. but i've always thought, isn't it so much more meaningful to incorporate your deities into who you are?

i have so many interests that have nothing to do with my deities. my main hobby/interest that i spend most of my time and money on doesn't involve paganism at all. i work with loki and freyja, yet my room and the area around my altar are filled with pastel pinks/blues and the walls are covered with posters.

i wanted to make bracelets for both of them that i could wear everyday, and so i coordinated palettes for both of them that fit with my usual wardrobe. i had some alone time at home the other day, and instead of using it to sit at my altar and do some typical divination (that i would normally do), i decided to light their candles while i had a dance party.

everyone's practice is their own, and i encourage you to do what's comfortable for you. if that means revolving a lot of your life around your deities, i totally respect that! but i also think there's beauty in balancing other things with your devotion, and maybe letting your gods into it too. letting them know that they matter to you and you want them to be part of it. that you'll carve out a space for them, no matter what it is.

[laufreyjarson]

just saw an advertisement for a $200 certificate that "initiates you as a völva" and "unlocks new powers and seiðr magic"

like this is definitely bs right...or am i just jaded from people capitalizing off of neopaganism? who is this authority that is initiating you and why do they specifically have a say over peoples' spiritual journey, when norse paganism is decentralized? am i missing something??

also isn't seiðr magic something you need to personally work on to develop?? i can't imagine paying $200 just does that for you immediately...?

please let me know if anybody has paid for one of these and it actually helped them out ;; i'm just feeling immediately so suspicious and doubtful that some random person online has the capacity to do this only under the condition that you pay money to do so ...?

[kopetspasite]

Внезапный самый лучший бог мне на стеночку хаааа

[gods-and-accolades]

Whether you’re a devotee or a worshipper, you’re not always gonna be at your best, and there are gonna be times - maybe lots of times - where you may not feel you can give 100% to your deities. You may not even be able to talk to them at all.

That’s why I LOVE devotional jewellery or any other kind of devotional item that you can carry with your person. Just the simple act of putting on a necklace or a ring or something similar is such an amazing way of showing your deities “hey, I’m still here. I still love you. I still carry you with me.“