[redstonedust]

tumblr blaze is such a funny feature. every blazed post ive ever seen has replies full of people cursing op out for forcing them to see it. for a small fee you too can invite strangers to be mad at you. pay money to be publicly shamed for your x reader fic. incredible.

[gaynehollander]

Can I just remind you that "if Ilya's a good top, he eats his ass in episode two" is a thing Jacob said.

[captain-price-returns]

[teathattast]

[flyinghellfish]

[krafterwrites]

[burgertv]

[theprofessional-amateur]

link to bluesky post

[theprofessional-amateur]

In addition to how to turn various things, it includes:

Other useful AI Removal/Detection links

How to spot AI Hallucinations like a Reference Librarian (originally on Substack)

Library Freedom Project has a lot of handouts about AI on their Resources page

[transheadcrab]

why do they always show cranberries in thos big pits n its implied its wet and possibly swimmable. do cranberries really grow like that. wh

[khamingbird-blog]

You’ve never heard of The Bog?

[transheadcrab]

th

the what

[transheadcrab]

EACH ADDITION TO THIS POST MAKES MY BLOOD RUN COLD

[punkrorschach]

This is a cranberry bog (unflooded) it’s how cranberries grow. Once they’re ripe, the blog is flooded and the cranberries harvested.

Basically by using big floaty things to round them all up and then scooping them out of the water.

[transheadcrab]

thank u. i hate it a little less but the horrible little man in my head is still screaming “BOG BODY BOG BODY BOG BODY”, but i appreciate the education,

[bomberqueen17]

oh here is a fun lil perspective on cranberry harvesting i never heard about anywhere else. the guy who owns the restaurant right down the road from the farm, who fries our chickens sometimes, is from Boston, with the strongest Boston accent ever, and in a former life before he started slinging reasonably priced barbeque and occasional organic chicken, he was a cranberry farmer.

His farm was on the leading edge of kinda using organic/sustainable pest control methods, and one of the things that they did to keep insect damage down was that they encouraged wolf spiders to live in the cranberry field, to eat the bugs. 

This was all fine and good until they flooded the bog. Now, you don’t just like flood the bog and then go around it in a boat or whatever. No, you use hip waders to get in there and put the big floaty things where they go and get all the berries and such.

Well when you’re in the bog in hip waders, that makes you the tallest thing. Wolf spiders can swim a bit, but they don’t like it, so they’re, quite understandably, looking to climb out of the water onto a tall thing.

So yeah the first interview question he always asked potential cranberry bog harvester hires was “are you cool with spiders?”

“You’d be amazed,” he said to us, shaking his head a little, “how many guys would just straight lie. Like, you think I’m asking you that question to be cute? Nah man you’re gonna have like a hundred wolf spiders trying to climb your eyebrows, you gotta be chill, those wolf spiders are fellow employees. You really gotta be chill with spiders if you’re gonna work a cranberry harvest.”

[antiocheanism]

happy international workers day to the cranberry bog spiders

[massachusetts-official]

Official Post of Massachusetts

[jawline-of-steel]

New Jersey erasure. I do not drive past massive cranberry bogs daily for Mass to get all the credit

[big-condiments-official]

also Wisconsin

[hungry-skeleton]

Peace and love on reddit dot com

[schmergo]

Yesterday, I was at dinner with some friends and briefly forgot Harrison Ford’s name, but I was like, “His name is a president and a car,” which is how we got such acceptable alternatives as McKinley Camry, Van Buren Gremlin, Clinton Infinity, and Range Rover Cleveland.

[caesarsaladinn]

Lincoln Lincoln

[kryptoclark]

god… just imagining his old ass sending you, his sweet younger girlfriend, selfies when he has a free moment because he knows you miss him when he’s gone long hours (night shift + a SWAT call)

you always coo out sweet responses (texts or voice memos because you can’t help yourself), calling him handsome and telling him how much you miss him n can’t wait to see him <333 not to mention when you’d refer to him as your man and send photos of your own, doing your own daily living things.

at first he’s unused to how much you’re enamored with him, because… well, look at him? he’s pushing fifty, no longer has natural brown roots, there’s more wrinkles on his face than smooth skin, he’s scattered with age spots that you call his ‘freckles’ and he doesn’t have the heart to remind you he wasn’t born with half of them. but you just openly adore every inch of him.

in his presence, you kiss every freckle, every wrinkle, every spot you can reach, all while showering him in the most compliments. you probably make him feel the most secure in a relationship he’s been in in a long time. no, not secure. cherished.

“baby, you’ll give me a big head with all this attention,” he murmurs on one of his nights off. he’s lounging on his couch, one arm resting against the headrest and the other wrapped loosely around your waist.

you’re straddling his lap, hands buried in his graying locks and lips peppering loving kisses along salt and pepper stubble, nosing the area occasionally. you giggle against his skin, pressing a kiss to his cheek before answering, “good. you deserve it.”

you’re his sweet little girlfriend who adores every inch of him, kissing him any chance you get, having your hands on him in one way or another (interlacing your hands at the grocery store, linking arms while walking, you name it. you’re on him.)

he loves it.

he’s just as obsessed with you, too. he watches with rapt attention when you apply your skincare and makeup, especially your gloss which shines against whatever light hits them. he has to resist not kissing the sweet stickiness off your lips every time. sometimes he fails, earning a giggle and whine from you that you’ll have to reapply it.

“honey, i think i’m way past the age of saving my wrinkles,” he murmurs, amused as you spread a moisturizing cream all over his face, gently massaging the product into his skin.

“oh, hush and let me do my thing,” you huff, one side of your mouth tugging up but you remain concentrated.

“yes, ma’am.” he grins.

he loves seeing you get all dolled up for him when you’re going on a date.

his brows raise as you smooth out nonexistent creases of a pretty little dress you got that hugs your figure in a way he thinks should be illegal. it makes him wonder how on earth he managed to snag a pretty thing like you, getting all dressed up for his old ass. hell, he’s old enough to be your father. 

you have no business dating anyone but in your age range and here you are, with him. he advised you against it when you first batted those pretty lashes and complimented him at the bar you frequented so often with your friends. but you stood strong, making your interest loud and clear. and who was he to deny a pretty girl he’d been eyeing all night?

“my baby gets dressed so pretty f’me,” he murmurs lowly, hands landing on your waist from behind as you look at yourself in the mirror, leaning down to kiss the juncture of your neck. “‘m a lucky man.”

you smile in the reflection, leaning back in his embrace. “mmm, maybe you’ll get luckier later,” you respond cheekily.

and boy, does he. he doesn’t know what he did in a past life to deserve you, let alone how you pleasure him.

“am i being good for you, jackie?” you pant from above him, thighs trembling around his hips as you bounce atop his thick cock. you mewl every time his head pressed against your cervix.

“so, so good, baby,” he grunts between clenched teeth, hands clutching your hips so tight and guiding your movements, you won’t be surprised if there are handprints tomorrow. “my sweet girl rides me so well.”

your walls flutter around his pulsing cock from his words alone, moaning in delight. you can feel the ridges of his veins every time you sink down atop him.

“is it good, baby? my cock making you feel good?” he asks. because sometimes he has to. he needs to know he’s making you feel as good as you make him. you give no indication that it’s anything but, but he still yearns to hear it from your lips.

and because you’re an ever-loving girlfriend, you of course let him know. “mhm! mhm, s’good, jackie!” you mewl, head thrown back as you ride atop him. “y’fill me up so good! feel you in my tummy!” your thighs start to burn but it doesn’t seem to deter you.

he groans at your words, balls tightening as he feels his orgasm fast approaching. sweat rolls down his temples and he tugs his lower lip between his teeth. “‘m about to cum, sweet girl,” he warns you with a grunt. “you close, too?

you nod frantically with a broken moan, your muscles aching and jack can tell, rutting his hips upwards to aid in your faltering pace.

“let go, baby, i’ve got you,” he murmurs lowly, gripping the fat of your ass tightly as he lifts you and bounces you on his cock repeatedly. “need you t’a finish for me. let me feel it.”

you nod again, bottom lip pulled between your teeth. with a final thrust, your pussy clenched around his cock like a vice and your vision goes white. you fall over the edge with a shrill moan of his name.

jack soon follows (how could he not when your pussy is squeezing him so tight like that?), spilling hot ropes of gum into your waiting walls, groaning softly as his balls twitch. he feels your body trembling above him and he’s quick to catch you as you collapse onto him.

“atta girl, sweetie. y’did so good,” he praises in your ear, one calloused had rubbing you back affectionately while the other runs through your hair.

“you, too. you make me feel so loved,” you murmur softly against his neck, sniffing his natural musk which provided you a semblance of comfort as you come down from the high of your orgasm. “love you, jack,” is the last thing you slur before you inevitably fall asleep from blissful exhaustion.

[r4bidabbott]

Sammys wife who takes sexy Polaroids of herself and sneakily puts them in Sammy’s wallet before he leaves 4 work 👀?

sammy had been an officer long enough to know when something was out of place. it was part of his job. when a chair was moved slightly from where it originally sat, when a door that should be locked was left unlocked, when his favorite coffee cup was sat on the opposite side of the desk, when a photograph had been tucked into his wallet. the last one was the first clue that you were up to something.

it was early in the morning, sammy stood before the large mirror in your shared bedroom as you laid still asleep in the bed. he was buttoning the last button of his uniform shirt, running his hands over it a few times to remove the wrinkles. he checked his reflection again, eyes scanning over everything to make sure he didn't miss anything. he pulled his wallet out next, every morning being sure he had his license and credit cards. it was a typical routine that never changed for him. something was different this time. a small white corner stuck out slightly from behind his license, his eyebrows immediately furrowed in confusion. he didn't put anything there.

as he pulled the corner, his eyes widened a little, jaw clenching tightly at the sight of the photo that now was between his two fingers. he glanced back at the bed to make sure you were still asleep before he was bringing the picture closer to inspect it. there you were sitting on the edge of the bed dressed in the lingerie set he had bought you for your first wedding anniversary. he remembered back to when you both giggled and laughed as you opened it, taking it more as a joke than serious. this wasn't a joke. you weren't even doing anything particularly scandalous in the photo. you were just looking at the camera with that big playful smile like you knew what his reaction would be. on the bottom in your pretty hand writing it read 'have a good shift, i love you' he swallowed hard as he shoved the photo back into his wallet, quietly making his way over to the bed to press a soft kiss to your head as to not wake you before he was making his way out the door, the image of you burned fresh on his mind.

the morning felt like it was dragging as he sat at his desk, his second cup of coffee already gone. all he wanted to do was come home to you. the buzz of his phone in his pocket snapped him from his thoughts, hand reaching into the jacket when he froze. no way. he slowly pulled the photo out, lip immediately going between his teeth as he stared at it. you again. this one was different. a different lingerie set, but now you were stood in front of the mirror, bent slightly so your tits were on full display. 'you didn't think there was only one, did you?' he read at the bottom, a small laugh leaving his lips. "what's got you so giddy?" nate spoke from beside him, sammy quick to shove the photo back in his wallet. "just something funny," sammy mumbled, a shrug of his shoulders as he pulled his phone out, immediately pulling your contact up. he could feel nate's stare on him, probably thinking he had gone crazy but he couldn't care less.

two?

you smiled at the text that came through, a small laugh leaving your lips as you stared at the phone. he was staring intently at his phone, the little text bubbles from you appearing and disappearing over and over. he knew you were trying to come up with some witty reply and it only made him smile more.

you haven't found them all.

was all your reply said, sammy quick to huff and grab at his hair again. you always liked playing little jokes on him, but this felt like a cruel torturous prank. he dug around in his bag, sure that you had probably slipped one in there. nothing. he flipped through his wallet again, nothing. he felt like he was truly going crazy. the rest of the day was spent checking anything he knew you could get your hands on, his stomach filled with adrenaline. when he finally found the third one shoved deep into the center console of his car, he called you. "i win, i found the third one," he smirked into the phone as he began the drive back to your house. his eyebrows furrowed at the loud laugh that left your lips through the phone. after you had finally quit your giggling, you spoke simply, "there's four," before the phone clicked.

the front door to your house opened and slammed that evening, a wide smile on your face as you laid in the bed waiting for him. "you're missing something," you hummed as he came into the bedroom, the top buttons of his uniform already undone as he stared at you. "where is it?" he huffed, his poor cheeks pink and his bottom lip pouted slightly. you couldn't help but giggle at his frustration, shrugging your shoulders. "find it." he was quick to immediately begin digging through the dressers, the closet, the nightstand. anywhere he thought you might put it was completely empty. you could tell his frustration was growing, his hands shoving back into both pockets this time.

his face immediately softened, an evil smirk spreading across his lips as he pulled the fourth photo from the opposite pocket of where he looked this morning. "you made me search all day," he mumbled, eyes immediately fixated on the photo of you. this one was much different. your face wasn't shown, but he would know your body anywhere. you were laid out on the bed, completely naked this time which had him groaning. "you're a cop, should know to look more thoroughly," you teased him, sammy tossing the polaroid on the dresser before he was climbing onto the bed to hover over you. "and you're trouble. teasing me all day," he sighed, forehead coming to rest against yours. "you married trouble."

[my-dailydreams]

[amygdalae]

kind of hate my stupid caustic pussy for dissolving my underwear over time but it's kind of cool, like, scientifically

[destinationtoast]

dying at this sequence from @pinkydragon01 :

[halfbloodfanboy]

[ruledbysaturns]

pope cody smoking a joint, u mean so much to me 🎀

[idc0o]

some of yall didnt go insane at 15 and it shows

[senatortedcruz]

This is what it’s all about. Saturday night. At home. Switching between the same 4 apps on my phone. Getting scared.