Lauren's Lifestyle

A glance at my experience on the road and in recovery. 

[laurenduffy44]

Arizona

Our ride from California to Arizona was a long one. Sarah and I were up and out of the house fairly early to head to Tucson. On our way, on two separate occasions, we were told how horrible Tucson was, so we were obviously really excited to get there.

At this point, I was unaware that monsoon season was a thing. Apparently, Arizona does not always consist of desert like conditions. From July through October monsoons are very common in the four corners area. That is what inspired the negative comments on Tucson. Unlike Southern California, Tuscon, Arizona was experiencing heavy rain and reasonably humid conditions.

While on route to Tucson, we drove past a sign. I honestly have no memory of what the sign specifically said, but it was interesting enough that we pulled off the highway to go see this western California “attraction.”

This stone watch tower overlooked a valley filled with rocks. It was very dry and it looked like it had not rained in that area for years. The area was privately owned by a man who had the desire to live in a hollowed out boulder, which seemed quite odd to me. He also seemed quite odd to me, but not the kind of odd that was a threat, so Sarah and I continued to explore. The place was overrun with dogs, which looked like they hadn’t been bathed in weeks. That part, along with many other parts, was quite strange. I did find a friend in the pug that was hanging around.

Inside the tower was a gift shop, filled with bumper stickers, jewelry and scorpions encased in glass. We decided to pay the $6.50 fee, which allowed us to walk to the top of the tower and explore the zoo of rocks on the property. The top of the tower did not have that glorious of a view. There was some sort of fence in the way - made of a mixture of wooden planks and metal bars - and although the mountains were in the distance, the closest mountains were massive piles of small rocks, which resembled a construction site. The zoo of rocks consisted of a bunch of rocks with eyes and mouths painted on them. Before leaving, the owner decided to show us his boulder house. This was a little too sketchy, so at that point it was time to get back on the road.

Chiricahua National Monument

Although Sarah and I were staying at an Airbnb in Tucson that evening, we also planned on stopping at Chiricahua National Monument for a mid afternoon hike. Our hike was a rough one, but the views continued to get better and better the further we walked. Chiricahua National Monument is the end result of a volcano that erupted 27 million years ago. It is known for its stone columns, referred to as hoodoos. See for yourself.

Tucson

Our Airbnb for that night was with a man named Ron. After staying at a bunch of airbnbs, I now realize that some people were born to be Airbnb hosts and some people are not. Ron is the host that goes above and beyond. Sarah and I had been excited to stay with him from the start. He mentioned that he used to work on Long Island, at South Oaks, years ago. He also mentioned how he makes killer omelettes and waffles for his guests every morning. The man also charges next to nothing for his rooms. Clearly, he enjoys the gig more than he enjoys getting paid for it. Needless to say, Sarah and I were so sad to find out Ron had been rushed to the hospital earlier in the day. We were not given the details, but we certainly hope he is getting better. The room was so well prepared that we didn’t require anything more for our stay, but I’m sure it would’ve been better with Ron’s enthusiastic presence.

The following morning, we packed up the car and I was forced to drop Sarah off at the airport to head home. Her short visit was incredible, although not nearly long enough for my liking. For the next three weeks I was going to be solo and even though I would have loved Sarah’s company for a little longer, I was looking forward to some time by myself.

Sedona

A few people told me that Sedona was a must-see. I trusted what those people said without looking too much into the area before arriving. As I got closer, I was confused at why people insisted I travel here. It did not look like there was anything super exciting to see. It wasn’t until I pulled in to the actual town of Sedona that I saw what everyone was talking about.

At this point, I had already seen a lot of places - all incredible and inspirational in their own way, but Sedona was my favorite of them all. It was absolutely breathtaking. Never had a landscape left me as awestruck as each and every one seemed to in Sedona. As I write this, I’m not far from the end of my trip and I can honestly say that Sedona was my favorite place. If I can retire to Sedona, I will be a very happy woman. Part of me wants to move there now - just drop everything and move to Sedona to hike and work at a crystal shop for the remainder of my days. Sadly, I’m way too much of an overachiever to do that, but I will definitely be back for frequent visits.

My first stop in Sedona was the Chapel of the Holy Cross. The church is built into the red rocks of Sedona. It is a quaint, but spiritual place with glorious views. Kathy O’Connell crossed my mind during my visit. I thought of how much she would enjoy this place and I lit a candle in her memory. I’m looking forward to seeing her son when I return and together, making the trip to visit Kathy at her resting place.

I made a meeting later on that evening. Sedona, it seemed, was not just spiritual in the chapel. I was welcomed at the meeting with open arms. People shared honestly about their progress, their failures and their higher power and it was truly inspiring. The room was not overpowered with religion, which I find refreshing. I have no problem with organized religion, but it’s not my way of doing things and it’s always nice to listen to people share with similar experiences.

The following day, my Airbnb host suggested I hike to Devil’s Tower. She is a kind woman and I trusted her judgement without doing any research. I looked up the location of the trailhead and  just went. I’m so glad I did. The hike, for the most part, wasn’t too strenuous, but the last half mile was practically rock climbing. It lead to a miraculous view and a prime spot to take a photo. Some people were too afraid to walk out onto Devil’s Bridge. Perhaps it was because of the name, but mostly it seemed due to a fear of heights - a fear of which I do not identify with. Personally, I enjoyed walking onto that bridge and looking to see all the beauty beneath me - and all around me.

Later on that evening, I was going on a jeep tour that drives throughout the red rocks in Sedona. It cost me an arm and a leg, but they seemed to be very popular in the area. The tour took myself and five other people, to some very secluded spots as the guide drive over the red rocks. The beauty of the blue sky next to the deep color of the red rocks was astonishing.

Sadly, it was time to leave Sedona and I headed to a really grimy hotel in Flagstaff. My stay would be brief. I was only staying overnight - just enough time to get myself ready for my mule ride alongside the south rim of the Grand Canyon.

Grand Canyon

Throughout my time at the Grand Canyon, I forced many strangers to take photos of me in front of the dazzling view. While on the mule ride, as well as exploring the south rim on foot, I was able to see some excellent views of the canyon, but while on foot, I didn’t explore for too long. The Grand Canyon was packed with tourists, many of them children under the age of ten, so that did not encourage me to stay for a long period of time. The mule ride was a quieter, calmer and less claustrophobic way to experience the canyon. It allowed me to really take in the experience, rather than be interrupted by a crying toddler. It was much more pleasant.

Antelope Canyon

My final stop in Arizona was Antelope Canyon. The tour guide in the canyon repeatedly stole my iPhone to change up the filters and get the most picturesque views with my camera. The canyon fills up with water regularly during monsoon season. There are logs stuck throughout the canyons to prove it. They floated inside Antelope Canyon during the monsoons in years past and still remain there today.

[laurenduffy44]

Southern California

Santa Barbara

At this point, the majority of my trip had taken place in 60 degree weather. I was not prepared for this. I had just assumed it was warm everywhere in June and July. I only brought so many sweatshirts. Depression, due to lack of sun, was beginning to sink in when Thomas and I drove into Santa Barbara. Beautiful, sunny, hot Santa Barbara. Sadly, we had only planned for 24 hours in the city, but we made the most of it. Our first afternoon there Thomas and I spent sunbathing on the beach and it was glorious. I had missed my beach bum days terribly.

The beach was beautiful. The area surrounding the beach was mildly touristy, but quaint. It was in Santa Barbara where I realized I was always going to need a beach in my life - but a warm one. Preferably the one in Santa Barbara. If it were up to me, I would still be sunbathing there right now.

That evening, Thomas made good use of our airbnb host’s kitchen and made us a gourmet meal of angel hair with pesto and chicken cutlets, basil, mozzarella and garlic on Italian bread. It was the first home cooked meal I had eaten in weeks and I was over the moon about it.

That same evening I was missing my boyfriend quite a bit. He was out and about at the St. Rose fair in Massapequa. I was quite jealous that he was spending the evening with his adorable nephews and the fair’s legendary zeppoles. I felt even more jealous when he sent me this photo. Such cuties - all three of them.

The following morning Thomas and I were heading to Los Angeles, but first we needed a few more hours at the beach.

Los Angeles

Reaching LA meant I was at the halfway point on my trip. I’m not sure if that was really the case, but that’s what it felt like. I know I had been in California for a little while, but to me, when I arrived in LA, I felt like I was actually on the other side of the country.

I had plans the evening I arrived, as did Thomas (separate plans I should mention.) I went to meet with two friends, who I hadn’t seen in years for a play reading. The play itself, written by Lee Blessing, was a well written, bitter sweet story and I was pleasantly surprised by the quality of the cast.  My favorite part of the evening, however, was seeing those two friends that I love so much. More about them later.

The majority of the touristy activities were planned for my first couple days because Thomas would still be with me. Thomas and I started our tourist adventures by visiting the Hollywood Walk of Fame. We began by frantically searching for Britney Spears and ended with each of the four Beatles - with so many other celebrities in the middle.

Later on in the day we had a studio tour scheduled at Warner Bros. Due to my obsession with Gilmore Girls, I was acting like a child from the moment we arrived. It didn’t take long before I saw Miss Patty’s, Chilton and Luke’s Diner up close and personal. Thomas was also having a field day over all the Shameless spots. We took a look at the Bing Bang Theory set, held an Oscar and had a cup of coffee at Central Perk.

The following day we took a drive outside of LA to meet up with my lovely friend Laura at the beach in Malibu. The beach seemed much wider than in New York and the sand seemed much lighter. Whether either of those facts are true is irrelevant because no matter what it was a beautiful day and Thomas and I left a shade darker. The only bummer of the day - someone stole our Doritos.

Sadly, Thomas had to return home eventually, so I was running solo for a few days - sort of. My solo time pretty much consisted of hanging out with some more old friends. I don’t remember the exact order, so I’m just gonna do some name dropping.

- Breakfast with Anna Vlasova

- Dinner and Open Mic Night with Mike Miller and his lovely wife Celeste

- Open mic night visit from David Brown

- Venice Beach with Laura McDonald

- Tea with Bryon Azoulay

- Oh and dinner at Moby’s vegan restaurant with Keith Berkman. Sadly I forgot to take a picture. I was too distracted by the surprisingly delicious food. 

It was a comfort to see each and every one of these old friends. I loved seeing how they were doing, whether it be great or struggling (usually it was a little of both.) I was happy to be able to share my trip and the new parts of my life with them. 

After seeing all of those wonderful faces, it was time to pick up Sarah Scuderi from LAX. Never have I been more excited to see a person.

San Diego

My last day in California consisted of Sarah Scuderi and San Diego. We spent the afternoon at La Jolla Cove, which was absolutely gorgeous. The sea lions were so close and the water was super clear and the perfect temperature for swimming. Sarah and I took turns in the water, taking photoshoots of one another. We spent the evening at a local park, watching Grease on a big screen with a couple of Sarah’s friends from college. What a wonderful day on the west coast.

[laurenduffy44]

Northern California

After dropping my mother off at the airport, I was finally on my way to California.

After a month of being on the road, reaching the other side of the country gave me a feeling of comfort. I also knew I would have very little alone time in California. I had two friends flying out to see me over the course of the next two weeks, not to mention the numerous old buddies from years past who live in the Los Angeles area.

Crescent City

The Pacific Ocean is a thing of beauty. My first sight of the water gave me an instant feeling of gratitude and relief. I have lived 15 minutes from the ocean my entire life. Until that exact moment, I wasn’t aware how much I needed it. Although, I couldn’t do much more than put my feet in considering the weather. Sadly, when you drive into California, the temperature does not automatically increase by 25 degrees.

Crescent City was a beautiful area with plenty of scenic areas throughout the town including places to see all the sea lions off the coast. My main purpose in the stop, however, was to view the redwoods firsthand. 

I woke up early the next morning to beat the crowds of tourists in the redwood park areas. I chose to take the popular Boy Scout Tree Trail. The drive to the trailhead was overwhelming. I had people mention to me how stopping to see the redwoods was a necessity. Although I took their advice, I didn’t really understand what they meant. They were just a bunch of trees, right? Wrong. I was so, so wrong. Never could I have imagined them to be so massive. These giant trees seem to completely take over the area. Each one seemed to be larger than the next. These were two of the largest I saw - the one standing next to me and the one lying on the ground that still manages to tower over me. Special thanks to the smaller tree across from them that took the picture for me. Thank goodness for photo timers.

Fort Bragg

The following day I was headed to Fort Bragg to see Glass Beach for myself. But apparently it’s not as exciting as it used to be because there was no glass to be found. At one point, to my understanding, the place was coated with colorful pieces of glass. They do not allow people to take any of this glass anymore and now I understand why - because it looked like this:

Just sand and rock. Pretty? Yes, but no glass. 

San Francisco

I am not a big fan of San Francisco. I’m glad I went, but there’s too many hills and I’m afraid my parked car is going to fall down them. On the plus side, the view from the Airbnb was very pretty.

My first day in San Francisco, I was very impatiently waiting for Thomas’ arrival. On my way to our Airbnb, I decided to stop and hike to the Point Bonita lighthouse, which had some gorgeous ocean views. I spent the remainder of the night doing laundry because it desperately needed to be done. Then the next day I went to pick up this gem!

I don’t know if any of you noticed his eyebrows, but I was sure to put makeup on that day, so I could make mine look as good as his. 

That evening, we went to The Stinking Rose, a popular tourist oriented restaurant that is garlic themed. Thomas and I were both a tad nervous ordering Italian food outside of New York, but there was no reason to be because the food was incredible. We were incredibly stuffed when we left, but managed to catch the cable car down to fisherman’s wharf, where we found some gorgeous views.

Our plan was initially to take the cable car back to Chinatown where we had parked, but the universe had different plans for us. While waiting on the incredibly long line for the cable car back uptown, we were offered a limo ride for the same price and we gladly accepted the invitation. Thomas and I are pretty glamorous after all.

The following morning, I forced Thomas to wake up super early so we could make our boat to Alcatraz Island, also referred to as “The Rock” - also a movie starring Nicolas Cage and Sean Connery. 

We were on the first boat of the morning and as soon as we arrived, the park rangers gave us some background on the prison and introduced us to William G. Baker, a former Alcatraz inmate who is now paid to participate in book signings. 

Most of the buildings facing the San Francisco skyline were broken down to rubble, but the remainder of the prison has been pretty well maintained. The audio, self guided tour directed us to portions of the area - showing us rooms such as specific prison cells, the cafeteria, and solitary confinement.

After hitching a boat ride back to the mainland, Tom and I drove to the Golden Gate Recreation Area to get a solid picture of the two of us with the bridge, which we managed to do successfully.

Thomas also required his own photo shoot. Who am I kidding? So did I.

Monterey

After our Golden Gate Bridge photoshoot, Tom and I started our drive to Monterey, which turned out to be much colder than expected. When we arrived, we found a Groupon for dinner in the cute town area of Monterey. Being at that restaurant was the first time I had been jealous of other drinkers in quite some time. Inside the specialty whiskey bar and grill, trivia was going on, which used to be a common pastime of mine with friends out east. Outside, was a massive fire pit, an outdoor bar and open mic night. It was exactly my kind of scene, except back in the day, I would’ve walked in and had 5 drinks within the first 15 minutes. While we were there, I texted a few people in recovery and I felt much better after our nachos arrived. 

Monterey as a whole wasn’t too eventful. Thomas and I were hoping for some beach time, which we did get, but we were wearing sweatshirts, not bathing suits. We did go whale watching while we were in town, which was very cool. I kept my phone in my purse the whole time because I didn’t want to risk dropping it, but we saw dozens of humpback whales and even a few dolphins. Thomas wanted to go wine tasting at one point, so I let him have his wine while I sipped on my sparkling apple cider. We also went for the 17-mile drive in Pebble Beach. This also required many more photoshoots for both myself and Thomas. 

After Monterey, we were on our way to Santa Barbara, which I will rave about shortly.

[laurenduffy44]

Oregon

Painted Hills at John Day National Monument

When I had pictured Oregon in the past, I had never expected it to have the same qualities as a desert. Painted Hills, however, definitely did. My mom and I went on a few different hikes, each giving us different perspectives of the painted hills. Each hike was gorgeous in its own way. We kept the hikes short due to the 100 degree, dry weather in the area. All the plants in the area looked reasonably close to death. All except for a few single sunflowers scattered throughout the trails.  

I would also like to mention that my mom had a $25 gift card to Olive Garden that she wanted to get rid of and didn’t have a good enough excuse to go there while on Long Island, so we went in Bend, Oregon. Everyone on Long Island hates on the Olive Garden, but it was glorious. Plus, our waitress was one of the greatest servers I have ever encountered and if I lived in Bend, Oregon, I would frequent the place just to be served by her. Oh. The tiramisu is really good and has no booze in it. Okay, I’m done.

Crater Lake National Park

Thirty-five years ago, my mother took a trip across the country. She drove to Crater Lake National Park, but was turned away due to blizzard conditions. When I was planning my trip, she mentioned this to me, so I made an effort to add Crater Lake into her visit. My mom was excited to see it, but I could tell she was even more excited when we finally arrived.

Crater Lake was just the opposite of Painted Hills. Instead of intense heat, and dryness, the area was covered in snow. In some areas, there were many feet of snow. But the weather was still consistently in the high 60’s and 70’s. Half of the park turned out to be closed due to snowy conditions. Mom and I still found things to do. We went on a trolley ride through scenic areas and we found a hike that was technically still closed, but definitely walkable.

The lake itself, which at one point was a volcano, was as blue as you could possibly imagine. It is the deepest lake in the United States and the water is considered to be some of the purest in the country.

[laurenduffy44]

Idaho

I did not spend a lot of time in Idaho, but my time there was very pleasant. Our Airbnb for our trips to Grand Tetons and Yellowstone was in Alta, Wyoming, which is just outside Driggs, Idaho. We went to quite a few restaurants in Driggs, all of which were surprisingly awesome.

Obviously, Idaho is also known for its potatoes. The Idaho Potato Museum is something I came across while I was planning my trip and it seemed so ridiculously funny that I had to work it in. IT DID NOT DISAPPOINT.

After parking outside the museum, we were greeted by a giant baked potato right out from. Perfect for picture taking. With the $4 price of admission, we received a free carton of hash browns. I spent an additional $45 at their gift shop. “On what” you ask? Well, a keychain, a magnet, six postcards and two matching Idaho Potato Museum t-shirts (one for me and one for Brandon.) I already told Brandon that we’ll be wearing them on our day in Magic Kingdom in August.

The Idaho Potato Museum’s cafe is nothing short of perfection. They offer baked potatoes with a topping of the day. Monday, when we were present, was cheddar and broccoli and it was delicious. They also sell potato ice cream - vanilla ice cream, shaped like a potato and rolled in cocoa powder, sliced down the middle, topped with whipped cream, crushed Oreos and peanuts. It looked exactly like a damn baked potato.

We also took a brief stop in Twin Falls, Idaho for Shoshone Falls Park. It was a pretty low key spot with few tourists, but a gorgeous sight.

[laurenduffy44]

Wyoming National Parks

My mom flew into Jackson Hole, Wyoming on June 29th and our first two stops were Grand Tetons and Yellowstone National Parks. Because of our mutual fear of grizzly bears, most of our time at these parks was spent on scenic drives or super populated attractions.

Grand Tetons

Yellowstone

Yellowstone has become another mutual fear because or our new awareness for the active volcano that exists beneath the group. But the minerals and geysers it produces, and the natural reaction those minerals and geysers create are miraculous.

[laurenduffy44]

Wyoming

After I finished writing this entry, somehow the whole thing wound up getting deleted before I had the opportunity to post this. As you can imagine, this was quite frustrating to me - as was the majority of Wyoming.  

When I decided to visit Wyoming I booked an Airbnb in Powell, WY that was basically a campground. Rod, the host, owns a farm that produces meats and vegetables. He had extra space on his property, so he built a bunch of modern-ish tents and teepees, along with an outdoor kitchen and bathroom. When I saw his listing, my immediate reaction was, “this looks cool. Why don’t I rough it for a couple days?” This was a bad idea. Not once did I ever think to consider the weather. 

When I arrived, Rod was very friends and helped me to my area. I was the only one staying there that night, which was a little scary as it was, but he also mentioned that the wind had taken down a few of the tents earlier in the day. He made sure to secure mine a little more to make sure I was as comfortable as possible. I was far from comfortable that night. The wind was rough and harshly blew the fabric of my tent until about midnight. I know it was midnight because I was having a very hard time sleeping through it. I felt like the tent was about to topple over on top of me. I tried to pray my way through it a little bit, but each time I tried, my prayers turned into “why are you doing this to me??” That didn't seem too productive, so I texted anyone I knew who might be up and those who answered kept me somewhat distracted. 

The following morning, I awoke to find Rod making breakfast - pancakes and homemade sausage straight from his farm. He gave me a map of the area and recommended one specific hike, which I actually was not able to find, but the drive around was definitely worth it. I was brought through the Northern Wyoming and Southern Montana Rockies. The altitude was so high, I eventually wound up driving through a snowstorm. 

After my drive through the Rockies, I planned to swing by my Airbnb to change, get to a meeting and head to the Cody rodeo, a big tourist attraction in the area. Along the way back to Powell, the weather was not holding up well. The rain was scattered, but reasonably heavy at times and I could tell that my stay that night in a tent was not going to work out too well. I also failed to mention that this rain had sopped into my belongings that were left in the tent while I was driving that afternoon. If I had the money to do so, I would have purchased a hotel room right then and there, but I needed to save the money. 

This is when I sort of had a nervous breakdown. I was filled with fear, loneliness and anxiety. Wyoming made me question why I planned this trip in the first place. It made me question my capabilities. I was unbelievably ambitious when I planned this trip. Three whole months? Was I out of my damn mind? At this point, it was debatable whether or not I’d be able able to handle the first three weeks, let alone three months. I was stuck in this constant state of uncomfortability and I felt totally unprepared for it. 

I called a friend and cried. Then I went to a meeting. Then I called my boyfriend. He does the best he can, but he doesn’t know what to do when I cry. He did tell me that Enrique (my fish) missed me and wanted me to feel better. Then I called another friend and cried. After all this, I drove to the rodeo, sat in the parking lot and I called my mother and cried some more. She’s very concerned about me being away alone. 

I’ve realized recently that I have one of the greatest mothers in existence. Without question, she offered to pay for a hotel room for the night and a hot meal. She wanted to do more, but knew she couldn’t from across the country. She was scheduled to arrive in Wyoming the following afternoon to visit me for the week. During that time, we bickered a bit - solely because I wasn’t in the greatest mood and she wanted to fix it. She wants to make everything better all the time. Very often, she succeeds. On the days she doesn’t, it’s probably because I’m being a bitch.

[laurenduffy44]

Nebraska

Custer State Park

I wound up a little sore this week because of the cave tour, so I decided to take it easy on myself earlier this week with a couple of scenic drives.

Needles Highway

Wildlife Loop Road

Spokane Ghost Town

In my research for the trip, I had found some information on Spokane, an old coal mining town that was abandoned years ago. After a mile hike through the woods just north of Custer State Park, I managed to find it. 

Oh, and that last picture, it sort of looked like a bomb shelter. I took a step in and there was a noise coming from inside. I ran away really, really fast. 

[laurenduffy44]

Nebraska and South Dakota

This weekend has been one of the most intense weekends of my life. I am exhausted. As soon as this is posted, I will, no doubt, fall right to sleep. This past Friday, June 23rd, I slept at an Airbnb in Gering, Nebraska. The ride to Gering, as well as the incredible views, included driving straight through many small towns. Mostly, towns that were run down - old cars left in high grasses, shut down businesses, population of 1,000 (less than twice the size of my high school graduating class.

Gering, however, was a little more lively. With a total population of 8,372, Gering is still quite small, but large enough that you can find a decent cup of coffee in town. The public pool was also pretty amusing. It clearly hasn’t been updated in a few years. I could tell because it looked exactly like the public pool in The Sandlot - minus Wendy the lifeguard.

Scotts Bluff National Monument

I was unaware of nearby Scotts Bluff National Monument before arriving in Gering. It was mentioned to me by some locals in Homestead. Since I was in the area, I figured I would check it out.

Scotts Bluff National Monument is part of the Oregon Trail. The area next to the visitor center looked kind of western to me. With cactus plants throughout the area, more dust than dirt and rocks scattering the land, at first glance you would think a western movie could be filmed in the area. However, it was much too cold at a mere 60 degrees. There is also a drive up to the top of the rocks (and sometimes a hike, but due to a rock slide, the majority of the hike was closed off.) The rocks were created from different levels of sand and volcanic ash. Combined with thousands of years of erosion, this is what it looks like today.

Chimney Rock National Historic Site

About a half hour down the road from Scotts Bluff is Chimney Rock. To be honest, it wasn’t that riveting. It was a very large rock, similar concept - Oregon Trail, erosion, etc., but with much less to do. Plus, Chimney Rock is super far away from anywhere you can look at it from.

But the most uncomfortable thing about my visit…

While on another ride through Nebraska, I saw some interesting things. For example, someone apparently thought it was a good idea to create Carhenge - a.k.a. the car version of Stonehenge. America is WEIRD.

Then I saw some not so nice stuff. It looked like a tornado had cut through this part of Nebraska at some point. It’s incredible to see how one house could be perfectly standing, while the next is completely wiped out. Trees were torn to bits and farm equipment was scattered all around. It was heartbreaking.

South Dakota

Finally, I had gotten out of Nebraska. I arrived at my Airbnb mid-afternoon on Friday. The place had a ton of color in its interior decoration, but what was most breathtaking was the exterior. Located on the outskirts of Hot Springs, South Dakota, the home was next door to two separate ranches. The surrounding area was complete open space. I could hear the horses as I was falling asleep at night. My car looks like a disaster from all the dust on the dirt road, and I’m not sure the red clay ground helped, but it sure was pretty. The view of the sunset, however, was my favorite part.

Mount Rushmore

Since I had arrived in Hot Springs earlier than I expected, I decided to head to Mount Rushmore a day early. What can I really say about Mount Rushmore? I personally think everyone should see it in their lifetime. It’s a classic monument. Anyway, the place was flooded with families, which surprised me. I’m not sure what could amuse an adult, let alone a child for more than an hour in that place. Then again, a friend reached out to me to mention he was obsessed with Mount Rushmore as a kid, so what the hell do I know.

I wound up staying for the 9 p.m. illumination ceremony, which was actually kind of nice. It began with a park ranger speaking to the crowd about a group of 40 people who had just became citizens in a ceremony at Mount Rushmore earlier in the month. He mentioned that, like all American citizens, they come from different walks of life in different places. In a country full of hate and discrimination these days, it was nice to see some common ground.

The ranger went on to talk about how he began his career in the national park service. This is when things got a little bizarre for me. When he was 20, he had a girlfriend who went on a cross country trip. He was working a lot to keep busy, because he was bored without her, but 10 days before she was supposed to come home, she died in a fatal accident.

Cool, guy.

He claimed that after she passed, he couldn’t get away from home fast enough, so he took a job with the national park service. He insisted that national parks can do many things for people and for him him, they healed a broken heart.

I, however, was scared to death and drove the whole way home going 30 miles an hour.

Wind Cave National Park

About a month ago I called Wind Cave National Park and scheduled a Wild Cave tour. They said it was one of the more difficult tours, but I was optimistic. What a naive girl I was.

The tour consisted of the following people:

The tour guide

Two women in their 40′s from Minnesota - both fit.

One 17 year old kid from Tennessee - super fit.

A guy in his early 30′s from Wales - probably hikes in caves daily

Me.

Basically, for four hours, I was rock climbing, army crawling and avoiding falling into pits of doom. At one point, the hole we had to climb through was so small, we had to turn our heads a certain way so the helmet could fit through it. It was debatable whether or not my ass would fit through each portion.

The plus side:

The cave was really cool - very intricately created and fragile. Any human contact could destroy its delicacy.

There is a lot of history in there. It was discovered in the 1800′s and not long after, the owners were conducting tours. Nothing decomposes in the caves. There are no wind or elements to break things down, so there are still newspapers scattered throughout the caves from the 1890′s. Ashes from an 1890′s fire pit also remain in the caves. Guests on the 1890′s cave tours were allowed to carve their names into the rocks. The carvings are completely clear to this day.

At one point, the tour guide had us turn off our helmet lights. We were in complete darkness. Never have I seen such darkness. It was peaceful and horrifying at the same time.

I was very concerned after the first 10 minutes that I wouldn’t be able to complete the tour. I was really impressed with how well I handled it.

The down side:

My body is in so much pain today. Every time I had to get out of my car, I wanted to die.

Those clothes definitely have to get thrown out. My boots may never recover.

When I blew my nose later that night, cave came out.

[laurenduffy44]

Iowa and Nebraska

For the most part, both of these places are nothing. Some farms, a lot of cows, and just openness. 

Iowa

Ryan, a friend of mine from Mansfield University, lives in Creston, Iowa, where he teaches jazz at a local community college. We were close friends my freshman year of college, but he was a senior at the time, so I’ve only seen him a handful of times since 2008. 

Here’s a picture of us from nine years ago when the Mansfield University Concert Choir was on tour in Europe. 

Now, almost a decade older, we’re not the party animals we once were. It’s always lovely catching up with Ryan. Talking about people from college we rarely see, finding out what’s going on in each other’s lives. The stop was brief, but lovely. 

I crashed at his place for the night and the next morning I began my long journey through the remainder of Iowa and most of Nebraska. 

Nebraska

Honestly, the drive is pretty damn boring. The ride consists of landscapes and pro-life billboards. You can only look at pretty clouds, fields and anti-choice signs for so long. At one point, I saw a sign for the Homestead National Memorial. It was 40 minutes out of the way and it wasn’t on my itinerary, which I had intensely stuck to since I began the trip, but I took the turn. I needed an excuse to stop driving. 

I walked into the visitor center and immediately found a park ranger. I told her, “I spontaneously made the turn to come here. What do I do?” She laughed at me and gave me a brief history of the place. It was a memorial of the Homestead Act - if you don’t remember from history class, it gave poor people land as long as they used it to live and farm. The park ranger directed me to the museum at the top of the hill, which included a lot of farming equipment from the 1800′s. She also mentioned the one room school that was on the property. When I went to the school, there were two volunteers there, both women who were probably in their late 70′s. Both of them lived in rural Nebraska for most of their life and attended one room schools, which still exist today. They had a lot of interesting stories to tell. 

Eventually, I got back on the road. After another two hours or so of driving, I began to notice the beauty of Nebraska. As I drove further west, the flatlands turned into small hills, the dirt turned into stone - the progression of the view was incredible. Often, in the distance, a sea of windmills could be seen throughout the land. If the land was not a wheat field, it was the greenest grass you could possibly imagine. At one point it reminded me of the childrens’ television show Teletubbies. My brother watched it when he was a little kid and I remember the grass being bright green and the sky being bright blue - that is what Nebraska is like. There were countless clouds, all of which looked like patches of the whitest cotton flowing through the sky. 

After I had the wonderful opportunity to see all this beauty, I’m pretty sure I killed a bird...maybe two. 

[laurenduffy44]

St. Louis, Missouri

Okay, I am super behind. I can’t be rude and constantly blog while I’m staying with friends. Now I’m at an Airbnb in South Dakota, so it’s more acceptable. 

Anyway. I arrived in St. Louis on Monday evening, June 19th to stay with a close friend of mine, Mallory, and her husband, Erik, for a few days. Waze took me through a really not so great part of town and I was about to show up at Mallory’s and yell at her for living in the area. Fortunately, as I approached her block, the area seemed to get nicer. 

I learned that this is how St. Louis seems to work. The nice parts are absolutely gorgeous and vice versa, but it changes from block to block. Mallory lives about a block away from this adorable, little village. That village is home to a 50′s style diner, a hipster coffee shop and the St. Louis version of CBGB’s (my mother seemed to enjoy that very much.) 

Erik works overnights and Mallory works during the day. Sadly, Mallory could not take off work while I was in town, but Erik took Monday night off so he was energized for an intense trip to the St. Louis Zoo. The zoo, located inside a city park larger than Central Park, is free to the public. That was perfectly okay with me. I’ve been buying $3 salads from Walmart on a regular basis to avoid spending a lot money and eating McDoubles. Because of its lack of entry fee, I expected the zoo to not be so nice. I was totally wrong. The zoo was just as good as the bronx zoo, except the penguin exhibit in St. Louis is kickass. 

On Wednesday, I let Erik sleep since he had work the night before and I went to explore downtown St. Louis myself. Mallory had recommended a parking garage right across from the St. Louis Cardinals’ Busch Stadium, which, to any baseball fan, would be considered a thing of beauty. Right around the corner was the famous Gateway Arch. 

The Gateway Arch, located on the west side of the Mississippi River, offers a tram ride up to the very top where you can see both the river and the city of St. Louis. The view of the city was most remarkable to me. St. Louis architecture is quite beautiful and similar to the old courthouse, which can be seen in the bottom right of the city photo below. 

To anyone who is claustrophobic, I would not recommend the ride up to the top. The journey is in a very enclosed space with four other people. I had the privilege of riding to the top with four 15 year old boys. What a joy that was. On the way down, I was in there with a mother and her two grown children, one of which was scared of heights and the other, claustrophobic. It was quite amusing watching her try to comfort her grown children. 

Later on that evening, Erik, Mallory and I took another trip downtown for dinner. They took me to a cafeteria style BBQ restaurant called Sugarfire Smoke House. I heard the BBQ in St. Louis was awesome and this place was out of this world. Any place that makes coffee BBQ sauce is pretty amazing in my book. 

[laurenduffy44]

Nashville and Memphis

Nashville

After leaving Great Smoky Mountains National Park, I headed to Nashville. It was there that I would be staying with an old sorority sister of mine, Sarah. I hadn’t seen Sarah in just about eight years, so I wasn’t sure how easy or comfortable staying with her would be. Fortunately, Sarah was more welcoming than I could have imagined. I had plenty of privacy, but still had a buddy to pal around with for the weekend. 

I woke up in Sarah’s guest room on Saturday morning and drove about 20 minutes to downtown Nashville. My first stop was Ryman Auditorium, a venue that started as a church, but quickly transformed into a legendary music venue. Since I am not a huge fan of country music, I wasn’t sure this major tourist attraction would appeal to me, but I thoroughly enjoyed the history of the place. The most intriguing thing to me was the story of Lula C. Naff, a woman who booked the talent for the Ryman in the early 1900′s. 

Following my self-guided tour through the Ryman, I took a stroll down Broadway - a very brief stroll. The best way I can describe Nashville's Broadway is the country bar version of Times Square. It seemed there could always be a band to see on the main strip, which is awesome, but honestly, the area was pretty grimy. The smell was worse than Times Square, probably because there’s much more vomiting happening, and bar employees were all over the strip trying to persuade me to come into their bar. I now understand why so many bachelorette parties wind up there. Shortly after my stroll, I ran into two different groups of bachelorette parties, both carrying an inflatable penis. 

I headed back to Sarah’s house, just outside Nashville and we lounged around a bit before our plans for the evening. Sarah and I were going back downtown to meet up with some people at Ms. Kelli’s Karaoke Bar. This was a few blocks down from all the bars on the Broadway strip, but much less geared towards tourists, which was a relief. The people we were with were incredibly enthusiastic and kind. From the moment Sarah and I walked in the door, they were trying to persuade us to dance with them and they were pretty successful. 

There were a few other characters there, one man in particular was obliterated and there was no doubt in my mind that he’d be hurting the next day, but he was the hit of the night. He never stopped moving, except for the few times when he fell down, and surprisingly, he was pretty damn good at karaoke. At one point, a line of strangers were walking out the door. He proceeded to high-five each one of them. Then he looked directly at me and said, “I hate those people.” 

Overall, the night was a success, but after belting my face off, chain-smoking inside the bar, and getting home at 3 a.m., Sunday turned out to be a recovery day filled with naps. 

Memphis

Monday morning, I left the Nashville area and headed towards Memphis for a brief stop before heading to stay with more friends in St. Louis. My plan for Memphis was to hit Graceland and the National Civil Rights Museum and be done in a few hours. 

Graceland, Elvis’ famous Memphis home, took longer than expected and in my opinion, the place is overpriced and overrated. Walking into the visitor center, it’s approached like an amusement park with gift shops and restaurants everywhere. Once you realize how small the house is, you realize how much the property has been commercialized over the years. The house is kind of cool, mainly because of how weirdly decorated it is. No normal person would ever intentionally design their interior that way. The second floor, including Elvis’ bedroom is off limits, which I thought was kind of a bummer. The one thing that I did really enjoy was the billiards room in the basement. It took three men 10 days to line every square inch of wall and ceiling with this fabric. Pretty funky if you ask me.

After leaving Graceland I was headed to the National Civil Rights Museum and I got to thinking. The world we live in is bizarre. I had just spent $53 to see Elvis’ house, but it only cost me $14 to see an entire museum ending in the exact location of Martin Luther King Jr.’s assassination. 

The National Civil Rights Museum at the Lorraine Motel was miraculous. The self guided tour began with an art gallery filled with photos from the 60′s related to the equality movements. Once you leave the gallery, the museum starts right from the beginning of slavery and continues to travel through time. Its exhibits include a replica Montgomery, Alabama public bus with a statue of Rosa Parks sitting down inside, an actual KKK robe, and room 306 of the Lorraine Motel, where Martin Luther King Jr. was staying when he was assassinated outside, on the motel’s balcony. 

[laurenduffy44]

Cumberland Gap and Great Smoky Mountains National Parks

Cumberland Gap National Historic Park

Yesterday morning I woke up early to drive from Manchester, Kentucky to Cumberland Gap National Park. I took a three mile hike to reach the point where Virginia, Tennessee and Kentucky meet. After a strenuous, uphill hike, I was able to stand in three states at once. Soon, I’ll be in four at once, but not for another month or so. The views on the trip were beautiful. At one point, I ran into a deer on the trail, but sadly my bear bell (that I bought out of paranoid, along with my bear spray) scared it away before I could sneak a picture. 

Great Smoky Mountain National Park

I was pretty wiped out afterwards and wasn’t up for another hike, so I started my drive towards Great Smoky Mountain National Park. I considered checking in to my hotel, but instead I decided to take a ride around the 11 mile loop scenic drive in the park. 

A quarter mile into the drive, I saw a bunch of cars pulled to the side of the road. There was a big open field with a fence surrounding it and there were at least a dozen horses right at the edge. 

The rest of the ride was a little less hands-on, but it was one of the most gorgeous drives I’ve ever taken. 

This morning I woke up and drover up to Clingman’s Dome. It’s the highest point on the east side of the country, reaching 6800 feet above sea level. It was about a 40 minute drive up to the top. Once you reach the parking lot, the view is already glorious, but the steep, half-mile hike up to the dome is worth the trip. 

[laurenduffy44]

Manchester, Kentucky

The past 36 hours have been a rollercoaster of emotions. Yesterday, I left Louisville and began the four hour drive to my hotel in Manchester, Kentucky. During the trip, rain began to fall. It would go back and forth from drizzling to torrential downpours over and over. At one point, I thought to myself “Why would it possibly be raining on such a wonderful day? What would the universe possibly have to be crying about?”

About 15 minutes later, I received a phone call that informed me a close friend’s mother had passed away. I immediately understood the weather.

I went to visit Kath last Wednesday. She had just had a tracheotomy, so she couldn’t speak, but she was definitely present. I called her an asshole and she gave me her usual smirk. I also created a commentary for Kath. There were two other women in the hospital room with me, both of whom were not being sarcastic with her - and what fun is that. Once they left, I walked over to Kathy’s side, I held her hand and said “I know what you’re thinking. You want everyone to get the fuck away from you, so you can watch Judge Judy.” I gave her a kiss, told her I loved her and left.

My heart is broken for a few reasons:

She’s gone.

I’m not there to see her go.

When my grandfather passed away, this friend of mine was there for me completely and I want more than anything to be there for him tomorrow and the next day.

I’ve been welcomed into their home as family. I love them dearly and I just want to hug them and tell them it’s going to be okay.

I’ve almost driven home at least 3 different times. I need to trust that things will be okay without me. My friend has support in friends and loved ones. I can still be supportive on the other side of the country. The family knows I love her dearly and understands why I can’t be there. I spoke with Kathy’s husband earlier and even with everything he is dealing with, he made sure to ask me how the trip was going and told me to enjoy every moment.

[laurenduffy44]

Akron and Louisville

I need to make sure I write a blog post daily. The details are what make this journey so exciting and I don’t want to forget a thing. 

Akron

I woke up yesterday at 6:00 a.m. to make the 6:45 morning meditation meeting at St. Thomas hospital. For those of you who do not know, St. Thomas was the first hospital to treat alcoholism as a medical condition. The meeting was rowdy and loud, but I was welcomed with open arms. Approximately 60 people fit comfortably in that room. Two days earlier, the same room was stuffed with 180 alcoholics due to the visitors for Founder’s Day weekend, so needless to say, I was happy I missed the chaos. 

Down the hall from the meeting is the St. Thomas Hospital chapel, which is a museum in itself. The chapel holds display cases containing historical Alcoholics Anonymous related items - an AA Founder’s Day registry from the 1950′s, religious books that were presented to patients when they were brought to the alcoholism ward. 

From what I could tell, many people from the meeting go to the chapel afterwards to say their daily prayers. I did the same. I took my time while going through that room. It was such a comfortable feeling to be in the place where it all began and where so many people have come before. 

After leaving the chapel, I headed to intergroup, which is the real AA museum. Glass displays were present throughout the entire office. They contained so much of AA’s history. A letter from founder, Bill W. stuck out to me the most. It describes his difficulties in recovery and the depression he sometimes goes through. It was a letter full of identification for another alcoholic and that one letter continues to help alcoholics today. 

My last stop in Akron was founder, Dr. Bob’s home. As I walked in the door, the tour guide welcomed me “home.” The house was fully furnished and decorated with pieces from the early 1900′s. This included some of the original furniture, as well as some not so original 1930′s alka seltzer tins. Most of the tour was very interesting. We were shown where Dr. Bob hid his bottles while he was still drinking - underneath floorboard in closets, a secret compartment in the laundry chute. I, however, didn’t care too much about the crib Dr. Bob slept in in his childhood home in Vermont, but others found it mesmerizing. 

Louisville

I woke up earlier than I expected this morning, so I got a head start on my drive to Louisville. This gave me the morning to explore the area. 

Once I arrived, I took a drive around the city. I saw the nice areas, and the not so nice ones. I was unaware that the Ohio River runs alongside Louisville. The Louisville Waterfront Park, located right next to the river, offers bike rentals to visitors. The bikes are often used to participate in self-guided tours of the city.

I have not been on a bike in 15 years due to my irrational fear of flying over the handlebars and curb stomping my own face. Clearly, I’ve seen American History X one too many times. I’ve been meaning to conquer this fear for quite some time, but I’ve never had a good enough reason to do so. Today, however, I did. 

It was a gorgeous 90 degree day in Louisville and I had to kill some time, so I rented a bike. It was the best decision I could have made. The first half hour was a little rocky, but eventually I got the swing of things. I rode down by the water and then over the Big Four Bridge, a pedestrian/bicycle bridge from Louisville, over the Ohio River, to Indiana. Fifteen years off a bicycle to three hours on them is a big accomplishment for me!

Later on in the afternoon, I received an unexpected message from an old friend and coworker of mine. The last time I saw Amanda, she was engaged. Then she got married, moved away and had a beautiful baby girl who I had the pleasure of meeting today - and boy does she have a killer shoe collection!

One last thing before I pass out for the evening. I miss you all - friends, family and my boyfriend, who I FaceTimed with today. He also let me me speak to Ron Swanson and Enrique, my fish - both of whom are intelligent conversationalists. 

Isn’t my boyfriend hot?

[laurenduffy44]

Pittsburgh, Cleveland and Akron

The past 24 hours have been filled with a few adventures, which were all quite different from one another.

Pittsburgh

I had the privilege of attending a wedding of a friend of mine in Pittsburgh, Pennsylvania. Alex, one of my closest friends from my first college experience, married the love of his life, Charlie. It was no coincidence that their wedding landed on the same weekend as both the Tony Awards and Pittsburgh PrideFest.

I expected the wedding to be just as beautiful as it turned out to be, but the fear I experienced prior was overwhelming. A few of the people in attendance do not remember me as the reformed, sober woman I am today. In fact, their impression of me is quite the opposite.

During my time at Mansfield University of Pennsylvania, I wasn’t the nicest girl. I put myself in a lot of awful situations, many of which inconvenienced or hurt other people. Needless to say, I did not know what to expect from my former classmates and, to my surprise, teachers.

Fortunately, nothing too traumatic occurred. Most of the evening was quite pleasant actually. Some interactions were a bit forced, but overall, the evening consisted of genuine conversations, along with some silliness. We reminisced of college times - we toured overseas, we partied a little too much, we even baked a giant cupcake one time. 

Part of me forgot I hadn’t seen these people in seven years. We had all changed since then. We had all grown into adults in one way or another. I just had to get sober to get there.

My evening ended dancing to Whitney Houston's “I Wanna Dance with Somebody” with my former choir director, followed by some genuine goodbyes. As I walked out of the building, my former classmates shouted from the rooftop (literally) - saying how nice it was to see me. It was nice to see them too.

Cleveland

This morning, I woke up bright and early to get a jump start on my day. I took the two and a half hour drive from Pittsburgh to Cleveland with the sole purpose of visiting the Rock and Roll Hall of Fame.

The area was flooded with locals for a charity walk to cure kidney disease, but after a little searching I found parking and began the short walk to the front of the museum. Outside the building stood a red, people-sized structure that read “LONG LIVE ROCK.”

Walking into the building, I had no idea what I was getting myself into. There is no possible way one person can see everything in that place in one day. I wanted to read every little thing. I wanted to watch every video on every artist and gain all the knowledge I could gather. However, since I spent an hour and a half solely on the Beatles area, I knew this was going to be difficult.

Some of the things I found most interesting:

The footage of the negative perception of rock and roll is fascinating. Who knew so many people really believed rock and roll listeners doubled as Satan worshipers?

Hand written lyrics are really cool - from John Lennon to Joe Strummer to Sia to Billy Joel - it’s just really incredible to see that it started on a piece of wide-ruled looseleaf paper. 

Angus Young’s schoolboy uniform is more awesome in person. So are David Bowie’s suits.

Never have I wanted to touch a guitar more than when I saw Kurt Cobain’s guitar today.

Akron

I arrived in Akron late this afternoon and for the first time since I left, I really feel like I’m on vacation. I spent a couple hours watching House of Cards at my Airbnb home for the evening with my new buddy Tig, who has been attached to me since I walked in the door. This is the friendliest cat I have ever met.

After Tig and I spent a little time relaxing, I decided to go to a meeting, more specifically a womens big book meeting. This weekend is AA Founder’s Weekend in Akron, Ohio. Sadly, Founder’s Day was yesterday, so I missed the festivities. I did, however, love this meeting. I met some wonderful women, exchanged some phone numbers and I look forward to talking to them further about recovery and about my adventures.

[laurenduffy44]

Homestead, Pennsylvania

Yesterday I began my three month long journey to explore the country. It was a day - many days actually - filled with fear, doubt and uncomfortability. In the past 24 hours much of that has lessened. Once the goodbyes were out of the way, my playlist was on and I was past New York City traffic, the negativity seemed to subside.

After a seven and a half hour drive, I arrived in Homestead, Pennsylvania, just outside of Pittsburgh. I pulled up to a Tudor home with a red and yellow flag on each side of the front porch. On the right side of the house, a wooden gate with a declining staircase leads to the Airbnb apartment. The door, with a small lion’s head knocker and a floral, stained glass window, opens with a keyless access entry code.

At first glance, all that can be seen is black and red everywhere, but after a moment, it is easy to visualize the details. As I walk through the door, a freestanding electric fireplace sits on the back wall with a television on top. To its right, a cardboard cutout of Marilyn Monroe. To its left, Bruce Lee. Red and black shag rugs are scattered throughout the studio apartment.

The queen size bed, cloaked with a red and black floral comforter, is surrounded by a sheer, black canopy. From a sleeper’s view, another electric fireplace is mounted to the wall. Two more cardboard cutouts stand tall on each side of the bed- this time Elvis and Audrey Hepburn.

The bathroom is a thing of beauty. The clawfoot bathtub, surrounded by Marilyn Monroe photographs, comes equip with an entire wall of bath supplies - bath fizzle, bubble bath and floral soap petals.

The kitchen portion of the apartment...well...I almost set it on fire within an hour of getting here. Who knew stove burner covers were a thing? I sure didn’t.

After throwing the stove burner cover on the back patio and getting enough smoke out of the apartment for the smoke detector to stop incessantly beeping, I sat down for a cigarette on the back patio. Looking down at the reasonably busy West 7th Avenue, I can hear the nearby waterfront train tracks.

Today, I will attend a wedding for an old friend of mine from my first college experience. I’m looking forward to celebrating his marriage with him today after 10 years of friendship.

Tomorrow, I head to Ohio and the adventure really begins.