Lavender Tragedies

[lavender-tragedies]

I saw soulmate!au prompt where she had "I can't believe dumbledore died!" as her mark, but it was before Harry Potter was written. This poor woman didn't know who Dumbledore was and was worried for him, then realising when the first Harry Potter book came out, but it's been spoiled.

BUT...

Imagine if this happened in Harry Potter! Where Harry Potter wasn't the prophecy child because of some awesome power, but because he met his soulmate during a order meeting where they were discussing how to defeat Voldemort and his soulmate decided to recap the whole story in a deadpan tone full of sarcasm that resulted in a paragraph on Baby!Harry's back or something. But since they were born after him, he only got his soulmark after he defeated Voldemort as a baby. And since Petunia didn't care and he was self-conscious, no one found out till one day he either accidentally gets caught without a shirt or someone has to explain/read his soulmark for him.

🤯

AND THEN...

Everyone thinks he's a seer or all knowing because he acts so casual when he tells everyone how to defeat Voldemort.

[lavender-tragedies]

You know when something is so accepted as a fact in a fandom and fanfiction that you genuinely thought it was cannon?

Yeah, that happened to me. I just spent the last 30 minutes trying to find the scene where Hannibal calls Will "mylimasis" only to find out that it's not cannon???

There is also no video of Mads Mikkelsen saying it and I honestly can't tell if that's a good thing. Because the Hannibal fandom lost their shit at him smoking, who knows how much it will blow up if he calls Hugh Dancy "mylimasis" in an interview. And let's be honest, he probably would.

[lavender-tragedies]

A doctor who reaction fic where Gallifrey (either before/during the time war or after the 12th Doctor returns from the confession dial) react to all of the Doctor's adventures after they disappeared (aka new who).

Any or all versions of the Doctor, Master, and companions can be present.

Can either react to the episodes (most impact full or likely to create dramatic reactions) or compilation videos or scenes (like the famous speeches).

Bonus points for including Old Who characters that especially knew the Doctor like Brax, Ramona, Any of their families or professors from the academy, etc.

[lavender-tragedies]

When a 2000s emo looks at your playlist and tells you that you have the music taste of an emo... but you didn't know!

Loading existential crisis....

Just what??? 😂🫠

[lavender-tragedies]

Dumbledore essentially sentenced Harry to the same fate that his sister suffered from. The Dursleys said they would "stamp out that nonsense" which could have turned him into an obscurus or have him block his magic like Ariana did. Dumbledore knew this and still did it. Maybe it's exactly why he did it, cause Ariana was dependant on him, so Harry would be too.

[writing-prompt-s]

You're a 'comically incompetent' supervillain for a group of C-List heroes. They are no real threat to you, so you endure their childish speeches. However, when the heroes raid the civilian business you run on the side and injure your employees, you decide to take yourself seriously for once.

[way-to-go-you-funky-little-blue]

Alarms at 3am, is it a drunkard again, groggy despite the blaring, sitting upright to press at a remote, pulling up live feeds, a security system too advanced for a regular little corner store with two people on the graveyard shift, but if it's run in secret by a competent villain, it may as well be a testing ground for the beefier systems.

That grogginess goes away immediately when the feed loads, what are they doing. That store doesn't have anything to do with the villainy, the profits to the workers, none siphoned for schemes, he's a goddamn professional, not an evil lowlife screwing over innocent people who need the work.

Already out of bed, phone in-hand, eyes glued to the feed while command buttons are pressed, growing more frantic. No. No. What in the hell are they doing. NO.

Finally the damn security system responds. Oh god, it better not be too late. It didn't look like they held back. Oh god.

If the audio on the feed was unmuted, he'd be so much more mad, but he's already on the way there, and an ambulance is en route.

The longest three minutes, at least six more until the ambulance arrives, feed archived, Ana and Tyrn will be alright, they'll be alright, I'll make sure of it.

Ana and Tyrn are both unconscious, oh god, that's so much blood, so are the 'heroes', five minutes.

Alright, I can make this work, but it might be tight. Bodies are always heavier than expected, he'd rushed without taking much tech, he could take out the heroes as is, but he wishes he brought anything to augment his strength, especially as he carries the unconscious 260 pound man on his back out front, gently laying him down, gauze kept in stock used to lightly treat the wounds, four minutes, Ana next.

She's easier to carry out, but it takes just as much time, better to take longer than to risk hurting her worse. She's laid out, basic treatment applied, I need to learn how to do this properly. I hope I never have to use it.

Three minutes. That's long enough. No need to take care with those thugs, twenty seconds each, thrown haphazardly into a trunk, bindings tight and unconsciousness tighter, they won't be waking up for a while. Long enough, at least.

Two. Agonizing. Minutes. Frantic searches for first aid measures, panicked indecision, hands shaking with rage too much to tend, seeing two innocent people harmed by those supposed to help them. Siren, alright.

All the ambulance sees is a man in heavy clothes waving, two bodies on cloth beside him, it's a quick conversation and a flash of ID, a cover story given, all they know is some thugs broke into the store, beat up the employees, and fled when they heard the alarms going off, the store is a wreck enough to support it, it'd be hell to count the inventory to find if anything was stolen anyways.

Both employees are taken away, messages left that their bills will be paid for, one way or the other, for them to see when not. if. they wake up.

Now, to handle some loose ends.

The drive takes longer when it's not a panic, six minutes back, time taken to think, though it merely tempers a fiery rage.

It takes another three minutes to take the 'heroes' out of the car, take them to an impromptu cell, getting everything set up for vengeance.

It takes a few buttonpresses to have the monitor pull the videos up. Every angle of their 'raid', each and every. Every punch. Every moment, of every superpower, captured, all angles.

It takes another press for a shock to wake the heroes, all three up in an instant. Of course they try to struggle, of course they try to monologue, like I'm some petulant CHILD.

"Listen here, you. Goddamn. Pricks. Do you know what you fucking did." Not a single one of them stops their struggling or talking to listen. They're trying to plan a heroic escape already, are they?

Maybe this will stop them. A half second to decipher faces, another half second to move, before any of them notice what's going on, Mr. Strongman over here gets punched in the face hard enough his neck groans in protest. Right as the monitor showcases every angle of his giving the same treatment to Tyrn.

"You fucking animal. Do you think you're the hero here?" Now they've stopped talking, how long until they realize. All three of them are shocked into silence, or perhaps two are and the third is trying to hold onto consciousness, but either way. No. More. Interruptions.

"What the hell makes you think that breaking into a corner store at three in the fucking morning is right, what makes you think beating a 20 year old college dropout and a 30 year old petty ex-con within an inch of their lives is okay?"

One of them tries to speak up, posture indignant, they don't get the space to retort. Ice bitch, she could've killed with that. The words aren't even out before a rough slab of ice collides with her jaw. The footage shows just how she did that to Ana. There was no hesitation. No remorse. 'Just. Business.'

Two innocent people were left close to death by three idiots playing pretend. Luckily for these vandals, they're more resilient than the innocents whose lives they toyed with.

This is going to be a fun night, a task is sent to a team of underlings, show the town just how 'heroic' their heroes are, show every second of them using powers on innocent people. 'Format it for the news, your pick of channel, have fun with it.'

[writing-prompt-s]

You're a 'comically incompetent' supervillain for a group of C-List heroes. They are no real threat to you, so you endure their childish speeches. However, when the heroes raid the civilian business you run on the side and injure your employees, you decide to take yourself seriously for once.

[invisible-vampire13]

“You did what?!”

The rest of Shiny Stars flinched as the most quiet of them yelled at them, even their leader, Lighting Bolt, looked shocked. Dr. Tech started to pace around as he kept pacing around while muttering, “You attacked Molly’s. You all attacked employees in front of children.”

Molly’s was kid’s restaurant with animatronics, a nickel arcade, and a movie theatre. Everyone loved Molly’s so it was a shock when the news showed that the leader of the C-List heroes, the Shiny Stars broke down the doors and attacked the workers with children present.

“We’re so dead,” Dr. Tech muttered. Which made Lighting Bolt snapped back.

“Hey you said we should destroy our silly villain, Shadow Puppet’s bases and we did.”

“I meant her villain bases!” The doctor roared showing three intact bases taken down by the rest of the stars. “Not her civilian ones! Now The Grim is going to murder all of us!”

The rest of the Shiny Star looked scared after he said that but their leader scoffed as he stated, “Yeah right. The Grim is gone, he tired years ago.”

“Yeah she retired from being an S-List villain,” Dr. Tech confirmed but continued with a side by side comparison of their villain Shadow Puppet, the restaurant owner Molly, and The Grim, “but not as a C-List villain!”

Lighting Bolt paled as he realized that each lady were one and the same, that he just destroyed the number one villain’s restaurant. How much trouble he’s in now when her actual arch nemesis finds out what he did.

“I can’t believe you it took you this long to realize this, given your hero name.”

Lighting Bolt spun around to see Shadow Puppet, no, The Grim, glaring daggers at him. He now noticed that he was alone with the retired villain, the rest of the stars were gone. He figured that The Grim must’ve got them out of the way while he was distracted. But he won’t go down without a fight.

He tried to zap her but she wasn’t reacting to any of his attacks as she stalks forward. There wasn’t any witty remarks, no stupid smiles, just the most terrifying death glare he’s ever seen and a backhanded slap across his face. He went flying into a wall and crumbled to the floor. He stared at her wide eye and terrified as she started to cackle at him.

“You really thought that your powers would actually harmed me after my countless fights with The Light, your role model?” The Grim sneered as she started to destroy their hideout with her puppets.

She gave a curt huff as Lighting Bolt snapped back, “Don’t think you can win just because you were once a famous villain or just because you and the rest of the villains stopped the invasion a few years back! Because once The Light finds out what you did he’ll throw you behind bars!”

The Grim laughed at his as she said, “Good luck convincing My Husband to do that after putting teenage twins in the hospital, he’ll be here in fifteen minutes by the way.”

And with that The Grim was gone and Lighting Bolt was left in his destroyed headquarters, waiting for an angry S-List Hero to arrive.

[writing-prompt-s]

You're a 'comically incompetent' supervillain for a group of C-List heroes. They are no real threat to you, so you endure their childish speeches. However, when the heroes raid the civilian business you run on the side and injure your employees, you decide to take yourself seriously for once.

[that-tumble-weed-blog]

"Never use my powers. That was my mantra." She stated as she filled out the final form, the final one of her employees who was going to be facing an extortionate medical bill.

Magpie wasn't rich, not like, Damian Potts. Self appointed humanitarian, sponsor of the Righteous Defenders. A group who Magpie wouldn't be able to join even if they wanted to. Not with all their laws in place.

It was obvious that Damian Potts was the Armorer, the same armorer who used a support pillar from her cafe as a club to bind the Hecatoncheires, a recurring monster made by the Reggerax.

With the paperwork filled out Laura left the small hospital. She would be making sure that the Armorer would understand:

She wasn't a hero.

She did respect their laws.

The heroes needed to do their part, and, sometimes that meant getting their hands dirty

That they needed to clean up afterwards. (This one irked her. She had driven the 67 miles in a little under half an hour when the fighting started. Too little too late.)

He owed her $132,772.80 for the medical bills and the repairs.

Two hours later, Magpie cast the lit match into the desert ground, and with a soft wumph. The symbol for the Armorer was on fire. Magpie sat in the middle of it all. Eyes closed. Letting the heat fill her.

That was the biggest problem she had with the heroes. Thet were reactive. Make that $132,782.80 for the fuel.

The clang of Armorer landing got ger attention but she didn't move. She would need all her energy for two fights.

"What's a pretty little bird doing in a fire like this? I have your car, and when you pay your fine you can have it back." He sneered at her.

A few more moments. The fire was dying.

"Did you hear me?! I said-" He touched her.

That was it. Spinning and grabbing his hand she started melting his armoured hand.

"Damian Potts. You have not been held accountable for too long. I have watched, I have held myself back." She was pulling the melting arm off. She didn't want to harm him not today. "But you hurt my ladies. Sansa won't be able to use her hands. Arianna will be looking at physiotherapy for a year." The remains of his armours left arm was on the floor, slag. She started on his right.

"When you get a monster, get it out of the city. Either way, you stay and clean your shit up. The time it took for you to get to me and stop me?! You could have saved Alice's leg! I gave you three chances to deal with it. Now it's my turn."

He was still frozen in fear.

"And lastly! You do not touch anyone without their consent you capitalistic arsehole." She stalked off. Leaving the man stunned behind her.

"Sun girl? But... But you- Oh. Fuck." He sighed slowly , everything making a lot more sense.

"Armour is spelt with a FUCKING U IN IT!" She screamed at him before flying in her suit, obviously fireproof, to go and kill the Hecatoncheires.

[writing-prompt-s]

People assume a kingdom ruled by a Necromancer as being hell, actually it's a pretty sweet gig where you sell years of work in death to live super comftorble lives, now if only heros would stop trying to spoil it for everyone else…

[lix88888]

"So you're all... alright with this?" Leo asked, brushing his curly dark hair away from his face in nervousness.

The woman (nurse, really) who was at his bedside simply poured him herbal tea with an amused smile, as if the aspiring knight was a small child who had just asked a silly question. He was glad that his dark complexion hid his blush.

"Of course we are." She sat down beside his bed, tucking him in. It was pretty nice. "We realize it's a bit weird, but it's just how things work here."

When Leo had been told that the Kingdom of Tlalocan was ruled by a very old and powerful necromancer, he had thought it would be the perfect way to prove himself: he would rescue the citizens of the Kingdom! Everyone avoided the place in fear, but he, Leo, the hero, would succeed where everyone else had failed!

Except he had arrived at the kingdom's borders tired, hungry, thirsty, without his horse, and so the puppets of the mad king (corpses with white uniforms and dark faceless masks) had immediately defeated him.

He was very surprised to wake up in a hospital, being tended by the green haired woman who had introduced herself as Cthiclian, his nurse.

She had been very nice.

"The departed do all the physical labour, and we all concentrate on more worthwhile endeavours." She pointed to the window, that looked over the fields, and Leo saw a literal army of corpses sowing and reaping, while a living person (Leo could see it because they were the only one without a uniform) strolled between them. "Of course, the departed still have to be supervised, but-" "Could they rebel?" Leo urgently asked, worried. After all, if someone forced him to work all day, every day, he wouldn't take it lying down.

Cthiclian let out a chuckle. "Of course not. They're dead." Leo must have made a face, because she became more serious and explained: "Their spirits are not there anymore. All the funeral rites have been done, and their souls passed on. What remains is just the body, and they can only follow simple, clear commands. When they're too decomposed, they are cremated, and their ashes are spread over the land." "Oh." That made sense. "So, your king isn't... using the souls of the dead to... remain immortal...?" It sounded even worse said out loud.

Cthiclian frowned for the first time since entering the room. "Is that what they're saying now? It's nothing but a lie. King Tlaloc would never do something so despicable. He gets his strength from when we burn the departed."

The room fell into a tense silence. Leo drank some of his tea, and felt better.

"Sorry." he eventually said, to break the tension.

Cthiclian smiled again, patting his head. "Worry not, young knight. If you could try and spread the truth once you're back in your home, that would be enough for us."

The nurse got up and went to leave the room, but Leo had one last question. "What about the masks?" "Mh?" "Why are the... the departed wearing those creepy masks?"

Cthiclian expression turned sad. "It's to spare us. All of the departed may be laborers now, but they wear the face of our loved ones."

She left, and left Leo to his thoughts.

[writing-prompt-s]

"War? You do not yet know war. You are a child who has tasted their first autumn frost and called it winter."

[voidismyhome]

War is as silent as winter and as warm as summer.

It was on a beautiful winter morning, bright cold sun and glimmery white snow, serenity and silence that the horns blew their atrocious sound into the swifty winds.

"Already ? The war of ten long years has ended with that sound ? Inquired the Emperor to himself. As soon as the song of peace horns lasted, the camp has been raised and has started the march for home.

The Emperor, however, only showed a visible and palpable disappointment. Not that he would have wanted even more precious blood spilled, but a more solemn term to the war. His soldiers had only this word in their mouth : war.

He was about to burst into a grand furor, if one of his general hadn't been quicker.

"How dare you call that a war? It was only a battle fought in bloody mud from your own wounds. It was just an overview to the greater and most destructive war coming soon to get you all on your knees, praying either for your life to be spared or for a valuable death ! All of you are still children who have only known the sweet cold of fall. There is not a single one of you who has known the bite of winter ! This calm snow will be your grave. And yes, while you are chanting the end of this simulacrum of war, it's true end will be only silence and weeps. After war there's nothing left, no one wins a war. You can only survive it at best. So, do not dare to call that kind of things a war before me, or I'll gladly throw you into the heart of the winter when it will be here !"

Rage. Words of pure rage and experience. That general has known a war. He has survived it, but has lost one of his arms. A small price to pay to the great menace that is War. And much more when it is lead by its gods filled with burning rage.

The men were left trembling and terrified by their general.

Only the Emperor has a faint smile.

"Someone who understands me at last."

[writing-prompt-s]

"War? You do not yet know war. You are a child who has tasted their first autumn frost and called it winter."

[boopjuice]

The girl grinned as she said this to her captor, waiting for the look of confusion or indigence. She had grown to love that look.

Her body may have been seventeen, but her mind and soul were hundreds of years older, fused with one of the oldest being in the multiverse. She had known many who had brushed her off as a child before she turned them to dust. The look of condescension becoming fear was simply delicious.

"I am bound to a being you cannot even fathom, with power so great it is fuelled by the negativity of a soul itself! And when I break these binds you had best believe that I will torture you until you BEG me to kill you!" Tanya giggled on her knees, arms held behind her as she pulled on the restraints, leaning towards her captor.

"And I won't! I'll just use you as my own personal stress ball!" Her giggles became a cackle became hysterics. Oh, how she would LOVE to watch this petty human scream. She was the first to ever catch Tanya like this, but the humans little taste of power would do nothing to stop her suffering.

"Yeah. Been there, done that, not honestly a fan." Tanya's fit began to slow as she glared at her captor with as much contempt as she could muster.

Her captor merely looked at her fingernails without a care in the universe. The endless white void that they were in served to accentuate her short, ginger hair, a sharp contrast to the green shirt she wore. The human girl was tall, and appeared to be somewhere around 26.

But what Tanya hated most was her disinterest. This little witch thought she was better than Tanya, Chosen of one of the primordial forces of the multiverse given life? Oh, she would show her just how wrong she was.

She would torture this human until she begged to die and past, until she was nothing but an empty shell with no hope and no positivity. Then she would present them to her creator, her GOD. He would be so happy with the sacrifice, she was certain. She just had to get free from these restraints.

"Really, now? Tell me, human-" Tanya didn't even get to finish her sentence before the human laughed, dry and humourless.

"Man, I though he wanted smart ones! No use in a stupid light, yeah?" She said, finally turning to face Tanya.

"Did you never notice that tug on your soul, or are you just that fucking stupid?" Tanya was stunned into silence at the audacity of this pathetic human.

"Nah, course you didn't notice. Otherwise you'd know he's sitting in a universe three quadrants away, keeping an ear out for when you call for help." Tanya's captor's eyes shifted for the briefest of moments, the blue irises becoming purple for half a blink.

"And where did you learn anything that would make you believe that?" Tanya spat. How dare she imply that her creator didn't trust her. She had been loyal from the start, more competent than his Generals even!

"I though I made that clear? We aren't human anymore," the captor said, leaning down so her nose barely brushed against Tanya's, allowing them both to see the other's eyes.

Tanya's held nothing but disgust and hate.

Her captor's held pity.

"Go ahead. Call them," her captor said. "We know you know you can't break our strings. We know you've already tried to siphon off some negativity to become stronger. Just do it. Call them."

Little did this witch know Tanya had called for backup the second she had been tied down. Tanya grinned as she saw the telltale sign of the Generals entering the empty void.

"So, brat, what did you need us to-" The first of them was grabbed with bright blue strings from the captor's eyes and whipped away from the portal. The other two didn't have time to run before the portal closed, and all three were quickly wrapped in bright blue cocoons.

"Long time no see, Killer! Tell me, how's life been? Still a psychopath?" The captor hadn't even moved in the altercation, simply turning their head to look at the three Generals, now hanging upside down in their cocoons suspended from nothing.

"Fuck off, Mia." So, Mia was her name? Tanya would enjoy ripping it from her mind as she was tortured.

"Now, now! There's a child present! You wouldn't want her to pick up on your bad habits, now, would you?" Mia admonished as she gestured towards Tanya.

"Me, A child?! Please, I'm older than all of you combined?" She exclaimed. Dust, slightly behind Killer, turned his head and shook it vigorously. What startled her most was the look of fear in his sockets.

"No, little one. You're older than all of THEM combined," Mia turned to face Tanya, "You are nowhere NEAR as old as us."

"We'll cut you a deal." Dust's voice came unexpectedly, gathering everyone's attention in the whole nothingness. Good. That gave Tanya a moment to call in the big guns.

"You let is go right here, right now. In exchange, we tell Boss you're here, and we leave. Everyone's happy." Dust bargained. Mia simply smiled.

"Why would I want that when he's on his way here now?"

Tanya had never seen a look of such pure terror on any of her victims before, let alone Killer, Dust, and Horror. The last turned in his cocoon to stare at her with his one lit socket

"You idiot. The whole point was to keep her AWAY from him!" And there was no time for Tanya to stop anything.

Nightmare walked into the nothing and froze.

Mia had him in a similar position to Tanya almost instantly with no more effort than she had subdued the Generals. The tentacle-like projections of negativity were all tied thoroughly to the floor, and Nightmare gritted his teeth as he looked up at Mia.

"Oh, Brother dearest! It's been so long!" Mia exclaimed. Tanya blinked. Brother? No, that couldn't be. She was the only one! He'd said so himself!

"Sister. It has indeed. Tell me, what are you doing with my protege?" Nightmare said, not daring to break eye contact. Tanya almost thought she saw fear on him.

"Just luring you here. After all, I still owe you." Mia pulled his soul from his body and gave it a quick hard squeeze. Nightmare began to scream, writhing in agony as Tanya screamed for Mia to stop. When she finally did, Nightmare collapsed to the floor, weak from pain.

"Stop! You don't know what you're doing! Let him go!" Tanya shrieked. Mia turned to her, dropping the soul from her hand and stepping over to her.

"My, Brother, you really have found yourself a loyal little dog, haven't you? Tell me, Tanya, did he ever tell you how he knew how to take your soul apart and put it back together? Did he ever explain to you where he learned the technique of soul-merging?" Tanya simply shook her head, too afraid her voice would crack if she tried to speak.

"He learned it from me." Mia smiled down at her prisoner, and Tanya began to understand the scope of her mistake as he soul was gently pulled from her chest.

"I know you and him are bonded in much the same way he and I are. I feel that same pull, his soul," Mia tapped a dark part of Tanya's soul, a piece that had used to belong to Nightmare before he so generously gave it to her, "trying to rip it's way out of you and go back to him." Mia dropped Tanya's soul, instead pulling out her own.

It was terrible, a mosaic of colors stitched together with blue strings and rainbow paint in the cracks trying to hold everything together. Among the myriad of colorful pieces, there were several dark ones just like the latches on Tanya's soul.

"He took me from the people caring for me. He used me as a negativity source for months until he realized he could do more. So he did. By the time he was done, my soul was misshapen and falling apart. It's a wonder I survived, and a mistake on our dear Brother's part that I did."

Mia stood to her full height, looking down on her prisoner.

"You told us that we didn't know war, but it is you who has never seen it. We have fought for ten long years, him trying to get me to join him and me trying to do what I will do now: enact the same pain he caused me.

"We have committed atrocities, destroyed so many universes in our fight that we have long since lost count. So tell me, little one, do I still not know war?"

[kounter-kulture]

The work of Ed Fairburn

[writing-prompt-s]

You're a 'comically incompetent' supervillain for a group of C-List heroes. They are no real threat to you, so you endure their childish speeches. However, when the heroes raid the civilian business you run on the side and injure your employees, you decide to take yourself seriously for once.

[lacsgoodiebags]

"You know, I was starting to like you lot for once. Like barnacles on whales."

A pause, a deep breath, it sounds a bit like disappointment before she resumes polishing her wine glasses. On the table is a paper from yesterday. 5 Injured at Junestar, Locals Shocked the paper itself has a picture of a restaurant in disrepair and the ambulance just out of view wheeling in a victim. For a moment her eyes glance at the paper, there's a light pressure on the wine glass before she relaxes, unclenching her jaw and sighing.

"Well it would be more akin to a tumor now that I think about it. I left it alone for a bit and it grew. Who knew it would become a malignant thing?"

After examining the wineglass, she places it back very gently into the wine rack and gets a rag, starting to wipe the counter. Although the counter itself was not entirely intact, it was enough to serve a few customers.

"Listen here Catherine, no place that's run by a villain as vile as yourself is a good place. We did the right thing!"

"Yeah, compared to the lives you've ruined and the destruction you made, what's a restaurant like this worth?"

"We're the heroes and you're the villain! We have a right to search this place and do away with evil!"

An exaggerated roll of her eyes as she continues to wipe the counter and sighs once more. "This is why you're still C List heroes and the bottom of the rung." Saying it almost like she's musing to herself as she goes to retrieve a bottle of wine. She senses their displeasure, the silence after her words. It stays like that for 5 minutes before they protest, she doesn't listen nor bother answering until they're done before she looks up at last at the heroes.

All three of them stared up at her with hostility from where they were. On the ground, in one of her many traps. The fourth was unconscious, his leg at an odd angle from her earlier warning. There is no response from her as she stares with contempt at them which only makes them even more upset, nervous, and ...afraid.

She doesn't give them an answer, this isn't the movies where the villain monologues a response, this is reality now. She played along because they were incompetent and endearing, played along because they weren't capable of harming her and since they were heroes they wouldn't hurt civillians. She let the movie play as she 'oh so clumsily' revealed her 'evil' plot and dropped 'vital evidence while hiring incompetent thugs.

Because it was fun to boost their egos. Their little egos. It was fun because it reminded her of the hero she used to square off against, who had once been young and hopeful too.

Ah.

But this group was nothing like her hero. Nothing like an actual hero. Maybe they did do some good on the way to this point, but it doesn't change that 5 of her employees were now in the hospital because of their misguided attempts at justice. That by association her employees were criminals of the same caliber as her in their eyes.

"Trash." Is the only thing she says after a lengthy amount of time after she's cleaned the tables, or what remained of them.

"A criminal can't possibly be around good people we did the right thing."

She doesn't bother arguing as she picks up a wrench and looks it over. Shutting out the words, examining her villain weapon. She doesn't need to respond or justify herself, maybe before she would have but now she doesn't feel the need to. The wrench makes a sound as it makes contact with the ground.

At last she turns to them, those heroes, helpless to what she's about to do next when the fourth awakens. Without a single warning nor explanation she swings the wrench on the fourth's other leg eliciting a scream from him before staring at the other three.

Quiet now.

She closes her eyes, thinking of her hero. The hero who once was a part of the top of the podium. She thinks about what she would say to her, about how it was wrong how she was better than this. Maybe it's because she misses her so much that she finally decides to say something but it isn't directed at the ones before her.

"Consider this a gift to your daughter, what I'm doing is making sure the people who put her in the hospital can never harm her again."

With that the wrench goes down along with the careers of 4 young heroes.

[lavender-tragedies]

Need a sequel!!!

[writing-prompt-s]

You're a 'comically incompetent' supervillain for a group of C-List heroes. They are no real threat to you, so you endure their childish speeches. However, when the heroes raid the civilian business you run on the side and injure your employees, you decide to take yourself seriously for once.

[unknownogre]

What is my job? To keep them distracted. I get paid to keep the idiot heroes occupied while the more important ones take care of the bigger issues. I fail, I flail and I lose. I don’t see the inside of a jail cell because I don’t really break the law. You can’t arrest someone to wanting to take over the world, that in and of itself is not a crime. My name was Dr. Professor. Yeah I love it too, ssooo terrible.

Why me? Why not. No one sees me as a threat. I create little bombs, make them flashy and throw them around. Its not even my power…they never asked what my power was. They saw I was bigger than average, and durable. That is all that they were looking for to fill this job. Which is fine, I have a lot of fun messing with the heroes. Keeping them out of areas they shouldn’t be, I get hit a few times and really its not so bad. I have a WHOLE list of dad jokes I turn into insults.

“Ha ha….Looks like someone put on their pants BOTH legs at a time today.”

“I know you are but what I am” A true classic. They think I’m a moron too, which is fine. I don’t care what they think of me. They are powerful enough to be a problem while stupid enough to be a REALLY big problem if they catch a lead and just charge into things. It’s a new program they are piloting in this city, and if I keep it up for a bit longer they’ll probably get others like me to keep the idiots busy. Then they can use them as fodder for events that might end the world. They end up dead, but immortalized as statues so it’s a win win. I really hate them because of how stupid most of them are. Their skeletons are numerous but the league lets them get away with it just because they can. It’s a job and it helps me fund my other business so I guess I can keep my mouth shut.

What do I do on the side when I’m not keeping them busy. I own a café in the ‘less desired’ part of town. Its neutral ground for a lot of people. I employ kids who are trying to get a leg up, offer support when I can to those that need it. It’s a good business. I call it The Haven. The gangs are respectful, and I’m too far away for the crime families to take notice. That is where I was born and raised, so I have to give back.

This was my life and it was good.

“What do you mean The Haven was attacked?”

I was on the phone with one of my employees, his name is Reg…great kid.

“Yeah, The League of Super Protectors busted in saying that it was a front. They kept demanding to see the backroom. Stella told em to sit and spin. Victory had Hammer fist punch her. Broke her jaw, they zapped Jake and Freda too. I…I don’t think they are dead. Listen Ethan, I’m scared man. What if they come back?”

My blood was boiling. How did they find out? Did they follow me? Was the information leaked. Little rat bastards!

“Listen Reg don’t worry. I’m gonna make some calls. Let the Ghouls and the Hell Chains know, they’ll keep an eye out for the rest of you okay. I have deals with em. Go, keep your head low. I’ll take care of everything.

My next call was to league HQ.

“WHAT DO YOU MEAN NOTHING!? You’ll do nothing? They attacked a legitimate business!”

My handler was on the other side. He was the one to tell me where to be and when.

“Listen I’m sorry Ethan. We had to, we had a major bust. Brought in ten million dollars’ worth of stolen diamonds. We’ll pay for it, promise.”

I can’t take it.

“IT WASN’T ABOUT THE MONE! You stupid, spinless, worthless crap pile of a man. THEY HURT INNOCENT PEOPLE! They were just working, trying to make a living. THAT PLACE IS MY SANITY! Those idiots are like a bog with a bone. You need to tell them it’s a legit place.”

There was hesitation in his voice.

“I’m sorry man…my hands are tied. We may need to get them out of the way sooner. Its in your contract.”

I growl again.

“Deal with what happens next.”

I just hang up at that point. This was completely beyond the scope of what I was willing to do for this city. I quit…in that moment I quit. They want a villain, I will give them the scariest goddamn villain that the world has ever seen.

They didn’t know my power, not at all. I used the bombs they gave me and that was it. They never questioned how I never got hurt from their attacks, they were just happy that I didn’t. They never questioned how I never went through walls upon walls destroying buildings. They always thought the heroes weren’t strong enough. It was me keeping them that way…me making sure the act never hurt anyone.

Their hideout was a warehouse…with a sign that said league head quarters painted by hand. It wasn’t hard to find. I could feel my phone constantly vibrating in my pocket. After I went to the hospital to make sure everyone was okay and do what I can to speed the healing along…which is a great deal. I put on my Dr. Professor costume and flew to their warehouse. They didn’t know I could fly…or really what I could do period.

The entire group came out. Hammerfist, Captain Princess, Shark Bite…and the one they called Victory. These four were a menace…and they would be put down for sure.

“I SEE YOU GOT OUR CALLING CARD Dr. PROFESSOR!”

It was always Victory who spoke. Though I could tell Captain Princess wanted to do more of the talking, she…seemed the most useable out of the bunch but because Victory was a pig and she had clearly gone through a lot she never spoke up.

“Shut up. I’m tire of this, of all of you. You hurt people I cared for today. People who until today had a hard enough time making a living. The Haven is a place to rebuild. Where turf is left at the door and people eat. WHAT WERE YOU THINKING?!”

All of them were stunned. I wasn’t laughing or smiling, I wasn’t making crappy one liners. I was angry, and now they could tell.

“Listen here…that was a front for your criminal empire. We know it. The league dropped the info.”

Shark Bite was a giant man who could bite through any material in the universe. Terrible power…terrible name. Just as stupid as Victory.

“SHUT UP! You know why they gave you that information. It was to keep YOU MORONS out of official league business. I get paid to keep you busy! You’re so bumbling and stupid that when given actual real leads you MESS IT UP EVERY TIME. The league in their infinite wisdom thought best instead of training you PROPELY to have me keep you entertained while the big kids play. NO MORE…you worthless piles of trash went too far.”

Shark Bite growled, he didn’t like being called stupid. Always made him reckless so he charged at me despite Hammer fist trying to stop him. He was going to kill me, or rather he wanted to. I could see it in his eyes. Time to show them what I could do. His massive mouth opened and he tried to bite my arm. I dodged faster than he could react and then I hit him square in the chest so hard a shockwave knocked the rest of the soo called Heroes on their backs.

He was dead before he hit the ground. The league always covered up his hooker issue. Sex workers weren’t important…keep it under the rug. No matter what he was going to die today…I’m just glad he made it easy.

“…what happened?”

They were all confused a little dazed.

“My power is energy manipulation. I’d explain it to you, but I don’t think it would sink in until after you were dead. You knew about Bite’s issues and you did nothing. You didn’t stop him, you didn’t push for anything. YOU COVERED IT UP. Victory…I know what Is on your hard drive. You MONSER!”

He couldn’t look me in the face after that, he charged forward. His power was to shoot rather potent beams of power from his eyes. He was strong and fast too, just too much of a moron to be effective thinking his way was the only right way.

“You are a villain.”

He said trying to shoot me with his eye beams.

“All villains lie all the time. Plain and simple. You are lying about the league…and I don’t know what you are talking about. All those models are of age.”

That…that was the last straw for him as I tanked a beam to the chest, absorbing the power for my own. He kept shooting me, and I kept tanking it. My power…was the ability to, absorb, manipulate and redirect energy in any way I saw fit. I could be on the league if I wanted, but they don’t care about the smaller issues. Its all about press and dealing with the next end of the world crisis. No, I loved my life the way it was, I didn’t want to give that up just to save the world. I am saving worlds, one kid at a time.

“Okay Victory, there is no more mercy left in my heart for you.”

I shot him with a beam…and that beam kept filling him with energy. He started to shake and sputter. Blood started to pour from his eyes and his mouth…that is until his head exploded and his body fell near Shark Bite.

“Now you two have several options here. You know why I’m angry and now you know how powerful I am. You can run, cause I’m going to level this building. You can fight me. I won’t kill you like I did them. Drug use isn’t something you should die for and trauma isn’t one either..but I will disable the both of you. I don’t play this game anymore. Period. You can run, I won’t hunt you down. Quit being a hero and go to civilian life.  Or join me.”

I’m a villain now, I can’t go back to the way things were. I want to, but I don’t think the league will let me after this. Not that they have anyone that can stop me. I’ll line the roads with the corpses of heroes if it means protecting the kids that rely on me.

Hammer fist just fell to the ground crying, she was covering her face. Captain Princess looked to her and then to me and got on one knee.

“I don’t want you to cripple me. I don’t want to run either. What am I going to do, be a failure among all those assholes who won’t listen to me anyway. Its just a boys club. If you can show me how to stand on my own two feet, I’ll follow you. Hammer Fist needs to do Rehab first though.”

Hammer fist got on her knee next to Captain Princess. They were close ever since the beginning. I knew it was a package deal. I’m still mad about the broken jaw, but there are ways to make that up to her. She needed her yard redone after all. Sometimes Manual labor was the best thing to clear a mind.

“Get rid of your comms. We’ll go back to the Café, rebuild and tell the League to bite me. I killed two heroes today, so now I’m a fugitive. You stand by a murder. Also know I don’t know how to be an actual villain…just a fake one. So this will be new to all of us.”

I sighed, maybe things will be easier this way. Now I’m scary…I’ll be able to help more people in my neighbor hood. We’ll see though…life is funny. All I wanted was a peaceful life and now I’ll get anything but.

“You two ready?”

They stood up and nodded smashing their comm on the ground. Good thing my house has two extra rooms. I picked up my phone as I pointed a finger to the warehouse and turned it into dust.

“Keep them away from my home do you understand. I’m not Dr. Professor anymore…I’m Fusion.”

I shrug at the looks I got from the other two.

“I will kill any league member who comes to my block to arrest me. Do you understand.”

There was a pause, I could just feel fear radiating from my handler.

“Listen, don’t do anything too drastic. I’ll keep them away for now, but…but don’t get too big for your britches.”

The threat was empty but I grinned anyway.

“Sure…I’ll stop at world domination, or maybe just a few blocks to the west. Don’t tell me what to do, I’m not under your control anymore.”

I turned the phone to nothing but atoms in a moment.

“Okay this way…we’ll have to walk. I’m not the best flyer.”

[writing-prompt-s]

You're a 'comically incompetent' supervillain for a group of C-List heroes. They are no real threat to you, so you endure their childish speeches. However, when the heroes raid the civilian business you run on the side and injure your employees, you decide to take yourself seriously for once.

[whiver-wyverncat]

Tia Lorelei is known for many things, running a major publishing company, creating many different types of machines in her free time, supporting many business, and helping out in charity events… however what she is not known for as much, is being Tempest, a lesser supervillain in the city known for her black feathery cloak held together by a gold broach, playful banter, and her many, MANY failed plans that end horribly.

Granted, she never really meant for those plans to go well, she really just became a villain for fun, to play the part of the failing bad guy to boost the hero she was fightings ego, going along with there unnecessary monologuing just for fun. She always could beat them, but the public needed more hope that they will be safe than fear and terror, so she went with it.

That however ended when the “hero’s” came to visit her workplace for some buisness.

The reason they were here was simple: to make a manual describing all the hero’s and villains in town for the public.

Naturally, the book was inaccurate since you can’t reveal all the secrets of your star heroes to villains, but what bothered Tia the most was it was extremely bias, always painting the hero’s in a positive light even when they are well renowned jerks, and always painting the villains in a terrible light, painting them as monsters whose only goal is to harm people.

It certainly didn’t help that they said she was “boring and childish,” like how dare they! If anything it’s the hero’s who are boring and childish, she’s just playing along with there silly little game!

Naturally, she called the hero’s agency and told them that she won’t be publishing the book due to all the biases in it… they did not take that answer well.

The next day a fire started in the middle of the day and they had to evacuate the building, no one died fortunately, but many of her trusted employees had burn marks all across there body and many had to be taken to the hospital due to burn damage or smoke inhalation.

However, what really made her blood ran cold was Flare, a hero with fire-based powers, hiding in an alleyway, simply saying “I hope you reconsider Ms Lorelei, your going to need the funds to repair the damage.” Before lurking back into the shadows, with a terrible smirk on his face.

Now, Tia knew that the hero corporation was a tyrannical business who will do just about anything to get what they want, but she just brushed it off as not her problem. However, with the damage done to both her business and her employees, she can’t afford not to care anymore.

Tia published the book for them, but not just so they won’t target her precious employees, but also to fuel as motive for Tempest.

Shortly after the books were published, Tempest made an appearance in the middle of the city, burning down a building that was minority associated with the hero’s corporation and waited for the lesser heroes to arrive, as per usual in there little game, but she wasn’t planning on playing along.

“Tempest!” The minor hero Swirl started “Your rein of villainy has come to an-“ “I’m just gonna stop you there.” Tempest interrupted, holding up her hand, which shocked the hero’s and the public. Because normally Tempest would let them continue there banter, normal they don’t say things in a serious tone, hell, normally they don’t even show their hands, keeping the now revealed black clawed hands under their cloak the entire time.

“What? Why? What’s wrong?” Swirl replied with concern. They had always been one of the more caring hero’s.

With that, Tempest turned around, a black mask covering her entire face making the inside of their hood look like a void of nothing with the exception of a slight glowing outline of a green dragon eye that would copy the emotions shown on her regular eye, which was currently anger, the gem in the middle of her broach, which they programmed to match her emotions shone an angry red.

They pulled out the book she had just published for the hero organization. “This is what’s wrong.” Tempest said as they threw the book onto the ground.

Swirl looked at her dumbfounded, “w-why? What’s wrong with it?”

“‘Tempest is a boring and childish villain who is pathetic in any way possible.’ Am I boring too you?” They replied, gem getting even redder as their eye slanted more, dark clouds forming overhead as the wind seemed to pick up

“What?! No! Your not boring! I enjoy our little interactions every time!” Swirl responded defensively, but still in disbelief. Tempest is gonna miss fighting with this one, he was actually one of the more enjoyable heroes to play with, however Tempest was done with this game.

“Well from the looks of things I’m not doing enough to keep people entertained.” They replied, with quite a bit of venom in their voice as the storm swirled harder, lightning now flashing over-head as they started slowly walking towards the hero. “So since I’m obviously a ‘boring incompetent fool who always loses at everything’”

They stopped in front of the hero raising their hand to the sky. “I guess I’ll just have to take it up a notch.”

With that line a bolt of lightning struck near the hero as Tempest kicked him away, high winds slamming him into a wall of a nearby building, as he looked at her with shock, hail now falling to the ground.

The only thought he had for certain while looking at the angry villain, was that he wouldn’t win this fight

[lavender-tragedies]

Would totally read this

[writing-prompt-s]

You're a 'comically incompetent' supervillain for a group of C-List heroes. They are no real threat to you, so you endure their childish speeches. However, when the heroes raid the civilian business you run on the side and injure your employees, you decide to take yourself seriously for once.

[way-to-go-you-funky-little-blue]

Alarms at 3am, is it a drunkard again, groggy despite the blaring, sitting upright to press at a remote, pulling up live feeds, a security system too advanced for a regular little corner store with two people on the graveyard shift, but if it's run in secret by a competent villain, it may as well be a testing ground for the beefier systems.

That grogginess goes away immediately when the feed loads, what are they doing. That store doesn't have anything to do with the villainy, the profits to the workers, none siphoned for schemes, he's a goddamn professional, not an evil lowlife screwing over innocent people who need the work.

Already out of bed, phone in-hand, eyes glued to the feed while command buttons are pressed, growing more frantic. No. No. What in the hell are they doing. NO.

Finally the damn security system responds. Oh god, it better not be too late. It didn't look like they held back. Oh god.

If the audio on the feed was unmuted, he'd be so much more mad, but he's already on the way there, and an ambulance is en route.

The longest three minutes, at least six more until the ambulance arrives, feed archived, Ana and Tyrn will be alright, they'll be alright, I'll make sure of it.

Ana and Tyrn are both unconscious, oh god, that's so much blood, so are the 'heroes', five minutes.

Alright, I can make this work, but it might be tight. Bodies are always heavier than expected, he'd rushed without taking much tech, he could take out the heroes as is, but he wishes he brought anything to augment his strength, especially as he carries the unconscious 260 pound man on his back out front, gently laying him down, gauze kept in stock used to lightly treat the wounds, four minutes, Ana next.

She's easier to carry out, but it takes just as much time, better to take longer than to risk hurting her worse. She's laid out, basic treatment applied, I need to learn how to do this properly. I hope I never have to use it.

Three minutes. That's long enough. No need to take care with those thugs, twenty seconds each, thrown haphazardly into a trunk, bindings tight and unconsciousness tighter, they won't be waking up for a while. Long enough, at least.

Two. Agonizing. Minutes. Frantic searches for first aid measures, panicked indecision, hands shaking with rage too much to tend, seeing two innocent people harmed by those supposed to help them. Siren, alright.

All the ambulance sees is a man in heavy clothes waving, two bodies on cloth beside him, it's a quick conversation and a flash of ID, a cover story given, all they know is some thugs broke into the store, beat up the employees, and fled when they heard the alarms going off, the store is a wreck enough to support it, it'd be hell to count the inventory to find if anything was stolen anyways.

Both employees are taken away, messages left that their bills will be paid for, one way or the other, for them to see when not. if. they wake up.

Now, to handle some loose ends.

The drive takes longer when it's not a panic, six minutes back, time taken to think, though it merely tempers a fiery rage.

It takes another three minutes to take the 'heroes' out of the car, take them to an impromptu cell, getting everything set up for vengeance.

It takes a few buttonpresses to have the monitor pull the videos up. Every angle of their 'raid', each and every. Every punch. Every moment, of every superpower, captured, all angles.

It takes another press for a shock to wake the heroes, all three up in an instant. Of course they try to struggle, of course they try to monologue, like I'm some petulant CHILD.

"Listen here, you. Goddamn. Pricks. Do you know what you fucking did." Not a single one of them stops their struggling or talking to listen. They're trying to plan a heroic escape already, are they?

Maybe this will stop them. A half second to decipher faces, another half second to move, before any of them notice what's going on, Mr. Strongman over here gets punched in the face hard enough his neck groans in protest. Right as the monitor showcases every angle of his giving the same treatment to Tyrn.

"You fucking animal. Do you think you're the hero here?" Now they've stopped talking, how long until they realize. All three of them are shocked into silence, or perhaps two are and the third is trying to hold onto consciousness, but either way. No. More. Interruptions.

"What the hell makes you think that breaking into a corner store at three in the fucking morning is right, what makes you think beating a 20 year old college dropout and a 30 year old petty ex-con within an inch of their lives is okay?"

One of them tries to speak up, posture indignant, they don't get the space to retort. Ice bitch, she could've killed with that. The words aren't even out before a rough slab of ice collides with her jaw. The footage shows just how she did that to Ana. There was no hesitation. No remorse. 'Just. Business.'

Two innocent people were left close to death by three idiots playing pretend. Luckily for these vandals, they're more resilient than the innocents whose lives they toyed with.

This is going to be a fun night, a task is sent to a team of underlings, show the town just how 'heroic' their heroes are, show every second of them using powers on innocent people. 'Format it for the news, your pick of channel, have fun with it.'

[writing-prompt-s]

Humanity has finally reached the stars and found out why no one had contacted us. The universe is in a sad state. As such, Doctors without Borders, Red Cross, and many othe charities go intergalactic.

[publiccmenace]

You weren't around then, back in the bad old days - no, no, I do mean the bad old days, the 'good old days' your great-uncle is always yappin' on about sucked for most of us.

Yes, they really did, I promise. The next time your uncle gets bullshittin' like that, you kick him, alright? Tell your momma I told you to do it, she can't take away my dessert.

Well, she can, but it'd be worth it. I can get some ice-cream later, when she's asleep.

Alright, enough, enough. Are you ready to listen?

Good. Let me tell you how it went.

When we found the rest of the universe, it turned out to be a bit shit.

We were disappointed, of course. Who wouldn't be? Even the most cynical of us had dreamt of some complex utopia, some strange spiderweb of joy spread out between the stars by some people that had it all figured out.

When we found the difficult reality, that the stars didn't solve our problems, we were disappointed. Your issues come with you, no matter where you go, unless you deal with them. It's absolutely ridiculous, really.

But, regardless of how stupid, as above so below. It was a right mess out there, the same way it was a right mess around here.

What was it like, to see it all from here on Earth?

There's a clip of an interview I think about often. Somebody from one of those news outlets - you know the ones, the doom-and-gloom, the only smart thing to think about the world is that it will never get better? Yeah, those guys, the ones your uncle is so fond of.

So, the guy in the suit with these white teeth, like I mean these teeth were whiter than... something really white, I don't know. It feels mean to compare a natural phenomena to these teeth, 'cause these news host folks are always such jerks.

Y'know what? Teeth whiter than a golf ball. Fuck golf. Terrible sport.

Oh, if I were still young enough to be faster than a golf cart...

Anyway, guy in the suit is talking to this doctor, right? And the doctor is this lady with this really neat accent, I think she was Nigerian? She just had this expression on her face, and I know that the reason she was here is because she's not afraid of anyone.

He asks her why Doctors Without Borders has started a space program, isn't it best to devote their funding to more... realistic solutions, all the leading nasty nonsense that guys in suits with stupid white teeth are really good at.

This doctor, she wasn't having ANY of his shit. She looks at him, waits for him to finish talking, and says "what the fuck do you think without borders means?"

They cut the interview off immediately after, but that shit went viral as all hell. I would watch it at night and whisper to myself "what the fuck do you think without borders means?"

That was the approach the Red Cross and Red Crescent took too. There were folks in need, so they went to help. There were a million and a half little things too, the Ocean Cleanup worked with the SCO - one of the star folks' projects, I think it was the Space Cleanup Organization? - and figured out how to put their systems in the stars.

They were workin' on fixin' stuff too, much in the same way we were working on fixin' stuff. There were a couple people with an awful lot of power messing up things, and an awful lot of very determined people who wanted to make stuff better.

It's also important to remember that they helped us too. A whole bunch of ecological organizations came down from the stars and shared their preservation and genetic technology, letting us bring back some of the things our ancestors lost. That's why you can see thylacines in the zoo, it's a breeding project to get them back where they belong. Your momma wrote an article for them, remember?

It is sad that they were all gone. What wonderful creatures.

That's just, well, that's just the thing about things being a bit shit, I think. We're stubborn as all hell and we want to fix them.

Things aren't perfect now. Things aren't even very good.

That's why you pack two lunches, to make sure that kid, what's her name, Mica? Yeah, Mica, always has somethin' good to eat at school. You make sure you're doing what you can and sharing what you have.

It's all you can do and it's really an awful lot, I promise.