i have never seen a single 'pirates of the caribbean' film so my friend insisted that i watch the first one with her and i'm obsessed.
the villain’s origin story is that he can’t eat apples anymore. every fight scene plays like a slapstick comedy. two key combat sequences end with our sexy leading men getting boinked on the head. the climax is initiated by one ship firing forks at another ship. everyone is unreasonably hot. plot armor made only of the word “parlay”. the Redcoats are more useless than you could possibly imagine. Elizabeth almost drowns, gets held hostage, and then her entire village is destroyed but the worst part of her day is that a man proposed to her. a crew of skeleton pirates do drag to trojan horse their way into the final battle. truly insane stuff can't wait for more.
