Lavern Merle

A poetry babe with way too many feelings. Way too many. I have DID. Merle System.

[disassociationnation-blog]

Multiple System Ask Meme

1) How many system members are there?

2) Youngest member? Oldest?

3) Any friendships within the system?

4) Any relationships within the system?

5) Does your system have a name?

6) Any fictives or factives in the system?

7) What does the headspace/inner world look like? Is it just one building/area, several, or more?

8) Do members have separate rooms/areas? Does anyone share a room?

9) Any unused rooms/areas?

10) Unexplored rooms/areas?

11) Who likes/dislikes being in the headspace/inner world?

12) Any members who never leave the headspace/inner world?

13) What do members do in the headspace?

14) Is anyone religious? What are their religions?

15) Who cofronts the most often (what group/pair)?

16) Are there any otherkin in the system?

17) What is something that system members have very different opinions on?

18) Does anyone talk with a different voice in the outer world? In the inner world?

19) Favourite part of the inner world/headspace?

20) Least favourite part of the inner world/headspace?

21) Running jokes within the system?

[lavern-is-stern]

I keep reliving my trauma and i cant do this anymore

[lavern-is-stern]

Just Abused Kid Problems

What is self esteem?

“You’re not a piece of shit” okay, that sounds fake but okay

I matter??? People care about me????

My abuser(s) were wrong??????? Are u sure????

Having your self image being contorted so much you don’t even recognize yourself in pictures anymore.

Dysfunctional families are “normal”

“What they did was wrong” “No it wasnt, they only [vivid description of abuse]” “Do you hear yourself talking?”

G A S L I G H T I N G

“Why do you flinch so much?” Well, you see, im traumatised, jan.

Only speaking when spoken to.

I am not a soft victim, i am fire, i am vengence- *abuser walks past* -i am worthless…please, please step on me.

I love myself. I hate myself. I am hot shit. I am shit that has been heated. Make way, your Queen is approaching. Lol, it me, the cockroach.

[stimtoybox]

Do you think you could do a compilation of DIY stim toys?

Hey, anon! I’ve actually been thinking that we needed a master post like this for slime (because the slime recipes get bogged down amidst the slime seller posts in the slime tag, making searching less simple) and it’s not too far a stretch to just catalogue all the tutorials/DIYs I’ve gathered thus far.

Slime and Floam

Talisa Tossell’s Basic Slime Recipe Videos: one | two | three

@tropicalslimes‘s Slime Recipes and Ingredient Lists: one | two | three | four

@stimtoybox‘s Monte Marte Gel Glitter Slime Tutorial

@sensoryviolet’s Slime 101 Post

Edible Hot Cocoa Slime Tutorial

Edible Slime Recipe Compilation Post

DIY Floam Tutorial

Cute Life Hack’s Butter Slime Video

Glitter and Visual Toys

HelloMaphie’s Glitter Pen/Lava Pen Tutorial

@pinklikeme‘s Glitter Jar Tutorial

@diy-stims​‘s Jellyfish In a Bottle Video

DIY Lava Bottle/Lamp Tutorial

Chain Fidgets

@fidgettoy‘s Straw Chain Fidget Tutorial

Marble Mazes and Loops

@stimtoybox‘s Description of a Marble Maze

@stimmingsensation‘s Marble Loop Tutorial

Scented Vial Necklace

@stimtoybox‘s Scented Vial Necklace Tutorial

Phone Case/Orbeez Cooler Pouch

Karina Garcia’s Orbeez Phone Case Tutorial

Weighted Lap Pad, Blanket and Plush

@flyboyskywalker​‘s Weighted Lap Pad Tutorial

Sock Bunny Tutorial

Weighted Tie Blanket Tutorial

Weighted Stuffed Animal Tutorial

@eldritchesoterica‘s Weighted Chenille Sponge Creature Mini Tutorial

Stress Balls

@diy-stims​‘s Stress Ball Components List

@stimmystimmycocoapuff​‘s Crunchy Stress Ball Video

Karina Garcia’s Clear Balloon Stress Ball Video

Aira Tran’s Baking Soda Stress Ball Video

Playdough

@chelf​‘s Edible Chocolate Playdough Recipe

Playdough Cookies Recipe

@stimmy-things​‘s No-Cook Playdough Recipe

Glow-In-The-Dark Playdough Recipe

Night Sky Playdough Recipe

Fabric and Wool Fidgets

Pompom Tutorial

Chewables

@stimtoybox​‘s DIY Chewable Compilation Post

Kinetic Sand / Play Sand

@sunshinestimming‘s Edible Kinetic Sand Tutorial

Homemade Moon Sand Tutorial

@stimmythings‘s Taste Safe Moon Sand Tutorial

Kinetic Sand Video Compilation Post

Beads and Beaded Fidgets

@stimmystimmycocoapuff‘s Beaded Fidget Video

@eldritchesoterica‘s Bead Ring Necklace Tutorial

@ounanakos‘s Roller Bead Fidget Tutorial

@stimtoybox + @eldritchesoterica‘s Peyote Stitched Beaded Bracelet Tutorial

Peyote Stitching Tutorial Compilation Post

@fidgettoy‘s Mini Bead Abacus Tutorial

There are of course many more tutorials out there - there’s a good number of them in my drafts folder and queue already! I’ll do another compilation post when I’ve collected more DIYs, and when I’ve got time, I’ll create a proper page for this post and link it in my description.

[dangerbabegang]

What to do if you suddenly find yourself homeless

FOOD

Find your nearest food bank or mission, for food

grocery stores with free samples, bakeries + stores with day-old bread

different fast food outlets have cheaper food and will generally let you hang out for a while.

some dollar stores carry food like cans of beans or fruit

SHELTER

Sleeping at beaches during the day is a good way to avoid suspicion and harassment

sleep with your bag strapped to you, so someone can’t steal it

Some churches offer short term residence

Find your nearest homeless shelter

Look for places that are open to the public

A large dumpster near a wall can often be moved so that flipping up the lids creates an angled shelter to stay dry

HYGIENE

A membership to the YMCA is usually only 10$, which has a shower, and sometimes laundry machines and lockers.

Public libraries have bathrooms you can use

Dollar stores carry low-end soaps and deodorant etc.

Wet wipes are all purpose and a life saver

Local beaches, go for a quick swim

Some truck stops have showers you can pay for

Staying clean is the best way to prevent disease, and potentially get a job to get back on your feet

Pack 7 pairs of socks/undies, 2 outfits, and one hooded rain jacket

OTHER

first aid kit

 sunscreen

 a travel alarm clock or watch

 mylar emergency blanket

 a backpack is a must

 downgrade your cellphone to a pay as you go with top-up cards

 sleeping bag

 travel kit of toothbrush, hair brush/comb, mirror

 swiss army knife

 can opener

[spork-of-humanity]

Reblog to literally save a life

[hipsandheartbreak]

if there is a Dollar Tree near you, they have entire food aisles

Planet Fitness also has $10 memberships. you can shower and they have free food days! pizza night 1st monday every month, bagel tuesday the 2nd tuesday every month.

[himynameisrollin-deactivated201]

Save a life reblog

[kukachoosays]

i am so glad that i renblogged this however so long ago. i saw this post and shared it with others in mind, but now i am the one who really needs this. id like to think of this as good karma i guess

[comrade-jiang]

also a good list if anyone ever needs to run away from home for whatever reason.

[palevirgin]

[freshlysqueezedmeme]

I’m not gonna say it again

Stop 👏appropriating 👏nihilist 👏aesthetics 👏if 👏you’re 👏not 👏actively👏seeking 👏to 👏get 👏devoured 👏by 👏the 👏void 👏

[stormycalligo]

like to kick a terf in the shin

reblog to punch a neo-nazi in the face

[the-map-community-is-dangerous]

Lemme see something.

Reblog if you hate MAPs/“NOPs”/pedophiles and if they disgust you, which they should.

[whatihaventgot]

shoutout to abuse survivors & victims who fluctuate between “they didnt Really abuse me it wasnt That Bad its fine everything is okay” and “i hate them i want them to Burn” as a survival strategy, especially if you’re stil in regular contact with your abuser, and you wind up with a lot of self doubt because you spend so much time actively buying in to their gaslighting

it Is a survival strategy, it doesnt make you fake or bad. 

[trauma-rat]

having verbal fights with your paranoid thoughts alone in your room at midnight is traumatized kid culture

[bellygangstaboo]

Reblog if you agree.

[trauma-rat]

I can’t believe that there’s people who don’t start crying when they think about their childhood

[justalterthings]

Just Alter Things

having DID is wild bc ur like the ultimate combination of mental illness. cptsd? depression? panic attacks? eating disorders? identity and emotional instability? excessive dependence on one person for your sanity and life? hallucinations? psychosomatic symptoms? difficulty in interpersonal relationships due to trust issues and inability to have a stable psyche? no my guy that can all be DID shit welcome to hell enjoy ur stay u will never be  nt again

[themfvoid]

EXACTLY. ITS CHAOS.

[justalterthings]

I’m gonna add on to my own post here because I want to just fuckin list my own symptoms, y'all are welcome to as well but here is a complete list of shit I deal with either comorbid to or as a weird symptom of my DID that I didn’t list above: -dpdr. Constantly. Unnerving, unending dissociation -weird physical shit from switching and having different bodies and brain settups -the Headache™ -the after switch shakes -experiencing my alters mental illness symptoms when they’re in Co -intrusive thoughts constantly -compulsions or passive influence we just don’t know -emotional flashback or passive influence -passive influence in general -trancing out for hours -am I numb or actually fucking losing bodily sensation -body dysmorphia and dysphoria -emotional breakdowns -hypersensitivity to everything -violent impulses -rapid emotional cycling -never stop moving -forgetting e v e r y t h i n g

[fuzzyfishesandscaleymice-deacti]

Adding on

-did that actually happen to me or is this a shared memory -why the fuck am I out?! Someone just ate shit I’m seriously allergic to- where is the fucking meds?! -when was the last time anyone showered? -did anyone take meds? -where is my stuff? -what is this and where the hell did it come from? -“waking up” after a week or more inside and trying to fake like you remember the stuff the body did in that time while internally being ???? -falling over upon fronting cuz dizziness with switching, especially rapid switching -never knowing why you are covered in bruises or other injuries

[hopelesssborderline]

[lavern-is-stern]

me: i wonder if i have any repressed memories

my brain: here's one

me: put it back

[fromsuperheroes]

Texts From Superheroes: The Best of Spider-Man

[tiger-thoughts-and-things]

How is Daredevil texting?

[lacependragon]

TEXT TO SPEECH IS A THING OH MY GOD. BLIND PEOPLE OWN PHONES