I don't think I've ever done this many recs that I am losing my mind about in as short of a time as I've been doing with HEATED RIVALRY--I think I'm closing in on a thousand fics in around half a year! And not even super iddy ones that I love but definitely are to a certain taste! No, I'm constantly reading top tier quality fic as fast as I can and I still have enough saved on my ereader that I'm pretty sure I could keep up this same face for another entire year, with the same insane level of quality, without even touching AO3 to pile on more. So, here, enjoy more feelings and porn, because fuck if this fandom isn't still giving me the time of my goddamned LIFE.
HEATED RIVALRY - NO I WON’T BE CHILL ABOUT THE GAY HOCKEY PLAYERS SHOW:
Hollanov's Guide to Major League Hockey by DistantStorm, ilya/shane & david/yuna & farah & centaurs & cast, 41.6k
On the morning of July 1, 2019, with Shane Hollander set to test free agency, the Montreal Metros and their fanbase aren't worried. It's well documented that Shane Hollander has always held out for the best deal, and being a free agent is his leverage. Everyone knows that he’ll sign another deal with the Metros. But maybe everyone is wrong. (Alternatively: the one where Shane Hollander finds out ahead of schedule that Ilya Rozanov is lonely.)
the coast is not clear by WriteThroughTheNight, ilya/shane, nsfw, 8.2k
“My flight is early tomorrow,” Rozanov says. He bites his lip. Shane’s eyes stick there too. “You look in hallway, yes?” Shane sticks his head out. The hallway is empty. Would it hurt? To go another round? Rozanov has to fly out early anyway, it’s hardly like they’ll be spending time befriending each other. What is one night, when they’ve already crossed the line with eyes wide open? “Shit,” he says. “There’s a couple at the end of the hallway, arguing, you know? You better wait until they leave.” OR Shane lies, that first night, to keep Rozanov to himself a little longer. The changes spiral out from there.
hit or miss by PenAndInkPrincess, ilya/shane & cast, NSFW, 57.4k wip
If anyone can tell him if the long list of “Prohibited Items” he’d been sent in his email a few days ago is just standard practice for big shoots, it would be Yuna Hollander. Or, hopefully, her son. “Crazy we cannot even have peanut butter, eh?” He asks. “You also got giant list?” Hollander stiffens, almost imperceptibly, and Ilya tilts his head, just slightly, confused, wondering if he’s stumbled somewhere unexpected. (how ilya learns about shane's allergies)
Shipping up in Boston by angel_deux, ilya/shane & cliff & svetlana, nsfw, 33.7k
Shane is traded to Boston during the hookup era, and his attempts to act normal and professional around Rozanov are a little too successful: fans start shipping him with Marleau, instead.
scott hunter's worst nightmare by goldengalaxies, ilya/shane & scott/kip, 3.1k
"Jesus fucking Christ, kid." Scott huffed a laugh. "You're a piece of work, you know that?" "Ah, but I am funny." Rozanov shrugged, sipping his vodka. "And hot." He winked at Kip. Kip's jaw flew open and Scott immediately pulled his boyfriend closer to him. So what if Ilya Rozanov was 100% straight and definitely trying to fuck with him? Scott still wasn't going to just stand there while fucking Rozanov flirted with his boyfriend.
The lights are too fucking bright right now by robbinscinquefoil, ilya/shane & david/yuna & cliff, 41k
Shane Hollander is carted off the ice after getting hit by Cliff Marlow. An exhausted and still-grieving Ilya Rozanov spirals, makes some stupid choices, and accidentally finds himself hanging out with his situationship’s parents.
sunday morning (scott hunter is crying) by jujubun, ilya/shane, 6.6k
“You’re the worst,” Shane informs him, after they finally hang up. “First, you cheat on me. Four times! Then, you tried to blackmail a senior citizen. And then, you cast me aside for a dog?” He swings his leg over Ilya’s hip until they’re pulled flush together, Shane straddling his lap. “I want a divorce,” he declares huffily.
california dreaming by disastermovie, ilya/shane & david/yuna, NSFW, 11.8k
Ilya and Shane are thirty-five, married, and living their best happily ever after—until the plane they're in falls out of the sky and they wake up back in 2009. Of course they fuck about it.
the jane box by angel_deux, ilya/shane & svetlana & cliff, nsfw, 10.3k
When Ilya is concussed during a game, he experiences a weird gap in his memories. He has completely forgotten two people he should apparently know: his longtime rival Shane Hollander, and a regular hookup named Jane.
#DontYouDareFuckingFreeMe by Airuna, ilya/shane & cliff & david/yuna & leclaire & cast, 24.6k
“We do not say anything about the Hollander situation,” LeClaire tells them even though it sounds like he’s already resigned to what he knows is going to happen. “Of course,” Cliff agrees for both of them since Roz is still too busy texting someone. It’s apparently not good enough for LeClaire because he asks, “Roz?” “Just one second,” he answers without raising his eyes from his phone or stopping his typing. “Need to get my Jane to agree with something. She’s very stubborn.”
high on hockey by goldengalaxies, ilya/shane & hayden & j.j. & wyatt & scott, 4.4k
Ilya Rozanov: I do not understand why you are being like this but you look very pretty when you are annoyed so I do not mind. Shane Hollander: [awkwardly] Oh… um. Thanks, I guess, Rozanov. Ilya Rozanov: Is true. You are so beautiful. I cannot believe you exist. So pretty. And I get to have you and love you and be your boyfriend- [Shane slams his hand over Ilya’s mouth, his expression panicked.] Shane Hollander: This interview is over! Cut the cameras, now! (the players at all-stars 2018 eat spiked brownies. cue a chaos + a hollanov reveal)
Shots Fired by boopboop, ilya/shane, nsfw, 2.2k
'The league loves nothing more than putting these two kids in each other's faces.' Or, the one time Shane tries to be funny and spends the next half-decade suffering (enjoying) the consequences.
I'm a Tidal Wave by PastyPirate, ilya/shane & troy/harris & bood, nsfw, 4.4k
Shane has indulged, maybe a bit too much, in his love of how good they are at hockey. Ilya does the opposite of complaining.
a pigsty built for two by Anonymous, ilya/shane & david/yuna & svetlana & cast, NSFW, 9.8k
Shane and Ilya get rid of their housekeepers as part of their plan to keep their relationship secret. Ilya discovers that keeping a house clean is easier said than done.
Operation Get Roz a SAP by dntat, ilya/shane & centaurs, 9.7k
The Centaurs know that Roz is sad, and probably a little lonely. So they do their best to set him up with someone who matches his specific list of requirements. What they don't know is that their captain has already found that person.
baby, you can drive my car by mildred123, ilya/shane, nsfw, 16.6k
or, five times ilya makes shane feel less like a passenger princess and more like a passenger prisoner + one time ilya lets shane take the driver’s seat
rash decisions by UglyGreenJacket, ilya/shane & centaurs, 2.3k
“Hollander, what the fuck is that on your face?” Zane Boodram asks in the locker room while they’re changing for game five of the first round of playoffs. ___ Or Shane has a mysterious rash, and his teammates are very concerned.
serpentine by PenAndInkPrincess, ilya/shane & cast, 9.1k
“Ah.” “‘Ah’,” Ilya repeats, giving him a look before he looks back to the tidily stacked frozen mouse packages in the freezer and makes a face as a little badly-hidden shudder moves through him. “Why the fuck do you have mice in your freezer, Shane? You are doing serial killer shit now? This is why you have cottage in the middle of nowhere? For serial killer things?” “It’s for Spaghetti,” Shane says. Ilya gives him an absolutely horrified look at that and turns a little green, which makes him remember that Spaghetti isn’t just his snake's name. “Not food!” He rushes to explain. “Not food spaghetti! Snake Spaghetti!”
Now You Can Start by deliciousblizzardshark, ilya/shane & svetlana & j.j. & voyageurs, 14.8k
The problem was that everyone who played for Boston, except for Ilya, was like a million years old and had forgotten what fun was, if they’d ever known. They were all, like, married with kids and their idea of a good time was a barbecue where they drank a few flat weak-ass beers and or went golfing. Ilya just wanted to have fun, okay? He just wanted to live. or Ilya gets traded to Montreal. Everything goes better than expected.
Throat Curtain? by Z1r1al, ilya/shane & troy/harris & rose/svetlana & centaurs & oc/miles, NSFW, 40.9k wip
A missing tooth. A standard hockey emergency. When a brutal elbow leaves Shane Hollander spitting blood on the ice, he lands immediately in the hands of the opposing team's dentist. Shane thinks the dentist saw a cavity. The dentist knows he saw a secret.
Select All by Regolith (metonym), ilya/shane, NSFW, 47k
Or: When never-hooked-up Shane and Ilya have to collaborate on a league charity project, Shane accidentally sends Ilya a nude.
MORE RECS UNDER THE CUT because further yelling about the gay hockey show will be spared from your dashes. Just not on my dignity.
The Great Divide by broccolicheddarchicken, ilya/shane & david/yuna, nsfw, suicidal ideation/themes, 16k
The Boxing Day argument doesn't happen, Ilya doesn't seek professional help, and he and Shane keep pretending everything's fine. In the last few weeks of the season, Ilya reaches a breaking point. After saving his boyfriend's life, Shane is forced to grapple with the broken pieces, figure out what went wrong, and try to slot everything back together again.
36 Questions That Lead to Love by UglyGreenJacket, ilya/shane & harris, 5.7k
Shane: So, what is this we’re doing again? Harris: It’s called 36 Questions That Lead to Love. They’re questions that a psychologist developed back in the nineties that are supposed to help couples move past the awkward stage and get more personal. It’ll be fun! Shane: You always say that it’ll be fun, and I don’t think it ever ends up being much fun.
been careless with a delicate man by splatticus, ilya/shane, NSFW, 6.7k
What was it about that night that made Shane flinch that way, like Ilya has brushed against a splinter under his skin that he didn't know he was carrying? A decade later, Ilya re-litigates Vegas.
#whorelore by prailock, ilya/shane & cliff & bears, 3.4k
Well over a decade after retirement the public knows Ilya as the picture perfect devoted husband and father. When he's announced as a presenter and commentator for the Olympics as hosted by Toronto one online joke reminds the general public how fucking insane he used to be. Everyone under 35 struggles to square the Ilya Rozanov-Hollander they know today with Ilya Rozanov of the 2010s, fuckboy supreme.
take my hand and drag me head first (fearless) by trustingno1, ilya/shane & cast, 2k
"Rozanov told me to thank every goal tender I scored on," Shane says, wryly, to laughter, "So I will not be doing that. "I do not take this for granted. Thank you to the rest of my line," there's a smattering of applause, a cheer from the Metros' table; he can't prove it, but he suspects it's Ilya booing. "I very literally could not have done this without you. "I would like to thank my partner," he adds, shakily, "for their support." He glances up, not towards Ottawa's table. "Thank you for always pushing me to do better." There's some scattered applause, perfunctory. This is the bail out point. He can lift the trophy with one more "thank you", a "hopefully see you again next year", or he can-
no such thing as bad timing (as long as you're here) by treescape, ilya/shane, NSFW, omegaverse, 1k
Ilya backs him into a conference room and slams the door shut just in time. "Fuck," Shane breathes, his voice already sounding hoarse. "I didn't think—" He clenches his hands, unclenches them, shakes them out—as if somehow he can shake off the heat building beneath his skin. Obviously it doesn't work. He tips his head back against the closed door, and that doesn't work either. All it does is expose the line of his throat, and something in him wants to whimper for Ilya to bite him.
risk assessment by anincompletelist (soldouthaz), ilya/shane, NSFW, 6.6k
“We usually fuck after games!" Ilya defends. "We are off schedule. My body knows this. It is confused.” “Yeah, well, we’re not getting any closer to fucking—at home—unless you get the damn ointment on me. Fucking—shit, Ilya.” His entire face scrunches up when Ilya, now kneeling on the floor in front of him, slightly readjusts his leg for a better angle.
Google Translate by Hayley Mercury (SnarledCello), ilya/shane & david/yuna, 3.7k
Ilya and Shane both go down on the ice in season 5. In the hospital David uses google translate to try and better communicate with Rozanov, and learns a bit more than he intends. Or Relationship reveal VIA Google Translate and helpful David Hollander.
Map Contact by Regolith (metonym), ilya/shane, NSFW, 78.5k wip
Ilya Rozanov, celebrated hockey star, gets perilously lost in the wilderness. Shane Hollander, wilderness expert and #1 Rozanov hater, finds him. They're stuck in the woods. Completely alone. Together.
Thank you for pasta and phone calls by TheLoonlyProfessor, ilya/shane & yuna, 2.2k
The day after the Outing Pasta Dinner, Ilya gets a phone call from Yuna. It does not go as either of them expected
To Catch a Hollander by ilokheimsins, ilya/shane & bears, 4.4k
After two months of being on Rozanov watch post him being dumped by Montreal Jane, the Raiders all breathe a sigh of relief when their captain goes back to his usual happy self after All-Stars. Cliff, Victor, and Connor notice that the timing of Ilya’s good mood coincides strangely well with the speculation (read: open secret) that Hollander and Rozanov definitely banged it out sometime during that weekend and after some theorizing, they’re pretty sure their captain has had a years long crush on Hollander and that his happiness hinges on making his giant crush on Shane Hollander come to fruition. Of course, as his friends, they need to help him to the best of their abilities.
Mr. Real Estate by dottiedoesotherfandoms (dottie_wan_kenobi), ilya/shane & ocs, 15.6k wip
It’s Ilya who brings it up. He’s in his kitchen, making himself some kind of soup that Shane is already searching for recipes of—it’s called rassolnik. Leaning with one hip against the counter, he asks, “What about your sex dungeon?” “I don’t have a sex dungeon,” Shane says, both grossed out and intrigued by the idea. “The apartment, moya lyubov,” Ilya replies, fondness sheathed in annoyance. He slurps loudly, laughing when Shane makes a face at him over their video call. “What will you do with the apartment?” “Sell it, maybe.” -- Or, Shane doesn't sell the secret-sex-apartment building. He starts renting it out, and somehow ends up with a gaggle of Russian tenants-turned-friends, several stray cats, and one very spoiled hamster.
HOLLANDER & ROZANOV ARE DEAD by eurydicees, ilya/shane & scott, 13.2k
It is December, and Scott has been out for long enough to pretend to be used to it, and things are not perfect but they’re fucking good, and Ilya Rozanov is at his apartment for dinner—has been for over an hour—and he’s still waiting so stupidly hopefully to introduce a boyfriend who very, very clearly isn’t coming. (Or: studies on coming out, learning patience, one-sided conversations, and other absurdist waiting games.)
on photoshoots and inconvenient erections by UglyGreenJacket, ilya/shane & centaurs, nsfw, 3.4k
“Storytime!” Ilya says in a sing-songy voice. There’s clapping and suggestive cat-calls, and Shane can already feel his cheeks heating up. Ilya looks at him expectantly, holding out his hand, and any optimism Shand had of getting out of this dies in the brightness of Ilya’s grin.
Hair Today, Gone Tomorrow by Goodkwuestion, ilya/shane, 4.5k
The world is a cruel place, and Ilya Rozanov suffers greatly on a near-daily basis.
Slipping through my fingers all the time by phlebotinxm, ilya/shane & david/yuna, 8.2k
Or, 3 times Yuna is surprised by Ilya Rozanov and one time she isn't anymore.
Pivotal by 409_conflict, ilya(/shane) & yuna, 14.1k
It’s strictly a business trip. Ilya’s her client, not her friend, and they have meetings with Porsche. She’ll probably see him for a few hours here and there, and she’s content to amuse herself for the rest of the time. Ilya seems to regard her trip differently.
Antipathy by AC91, ilya/shane & david/yuna, 9.7k
Yuna can’t help it. There’s just something about Ilya Rozanov that rubs her the wrong way.
Do it Scared by lark_ral, ilya/shane & cast, 8.1k
Shane Hollander's five rules of how to not look gay (and how he breaks them for Ilya Rozanov) + one time he doesn't have to.
#AskIlyaRozanov by fbiyaoi, ilya/shane, 2.7k
Alternatively: the most chronically online NHLer continues to be chronically online, this time under a new username.
Coast-to-Coast by asterlune, ilya/shane & hayden & centaurs, 8.9k
Hayden's video leaks partway through the 2022 season, while Montréal is playing Ottawa. Shane trades himself to the opposing team.
who the f*ck is jane by goldengalaxies, ilya/shane & centaur wags, 2.9k
(the ottawa wag chat finds out about jane. cue them finding out little bits of jane lore until some things add up)
but what came spilling out that day was the truth by sargeantwoof, ilya/shane, 4.6k
OR: Shane & Ilya get a moment to breathe in the final Boston year.
I'm a hot girl and I come in different flavours by rollercoastar, ilya/shane & svetlana, 9.4k
Ilya goes clubbing, and Shane shows up late. While thousands of strangers on the internet completely lose their minds, Shane and Ilya are enjoying themselves.
eleven out of ten by gurlsrool, ilya/shane & centaurs & voyageurs & admirals, nsfw, 12.3k
In which the women Shane has slept with share their experiences on social media, Shane and Ilya both react totally normally, and Hayden would like some clarity on his best friend's sex life A sequel to "ten out of ten"
downward-facing dog by UglyGreenJacket, ilya/shane, 1.3k
[Shane glares and flips off the camera. Anya can be heard barking happily.] Ilya: Isn’t yoga supposed to make you calm? You do not seem very calm. Shane: Let’s just get this over with. Ilya: Now you are speaking my language.
shane is like GOD ILYA DID YOU REALLY SAY THAT thats like me saying my girlfriend in boston is named Lily Dunk and ilya is like Oooh yes throw them off trail..... we are not basketball players.... and shanegoes THE COFFEE
Marly at their wedding like no im so happy for you man Hollzy is great for you no doubt its just uh I sorta had 25 large on montreal jane being a coffee heiress for real
pretty please tell me everything there is to know about ur childhood friends au 🫶🏽
YAY YIPPEE YES OF COURSE <3 it is the beautiful shared brainchild of @grayaceshanehollander and me constantly yes-anding each other. meg has actually written a yuna-centric prologue of sorts to the main story, which slaps!!!!
the rozanovs move to ottawa shortly before ilya is born, and move into the house next door to the hollanders.
yuna and irina become good friends. they both have newborns about a month apart and are sort of lifelines to each other in a way, just having someone who Gets It during those exhausting early days.
david and grigori are not friends. yuna kind of wants to kill grigori if she's honest, but what can she do.
shane and ilya grow up together. they are inseparable.
the hollander home has so many photos of the two of them getting up to various shenanigans framed on the walls - ilya smearing cake on a wailing shane's face at his 4th birthday party. the two of them covered in sand and grinning broadly next to a lumpy sand castle at the beach one summer. a long-suffering alexei scowling at the camera while wrangling each of them under one arm because he's sick of babysitting and they need to go to BED. shane, one year old, asleep in irina's lap. ilya, barely two, covered in dirt and beaming ear-to-ear as he "helps" in david's garden.
obviously both of them grow up insane about hockey. they're both crying when their parents make them get off the ice as toddlers. they're the scourge of their lil kiddie teams. but they're also a matched set and even if everyone thinks shane's kind of weird, no one is very nasty to him because ilya is a social butterfly of a kid with no qualms declaring shane his favorite.
(this will change.)
because irina still kills herself when ilya is twelve.
(david drops him off at home after picking him and shane up from the rink. ilya wants to spend the night. david tells him to pop in and ask his mom for permission.)
(ilya comes tearing out of the house, screaming and wailing and begging david to help, help, please, do something, something is wrong with mama--)
grigori does not allow ilya to speak to the hollanders at the funeral.
irina is buried in ottawa. the rozanovs move back to russia scarcely a week later.
shane sends ilya letters. he never gets a reply.
ilya waits. shane swore to him he'd write; grigori won't let ilya write the first letter, but surely if he gets a letter from shane, he'll be able to reply.
(shane's letters wilt away, unopened, in the wastebin under grigori's desk. ilya was too young, too naive, still too trusting in his father. he never thought to suspect that grigori lied to him, not until years later.)
he meets svetlana vetrova here, in russia, while drowning under the weight of his grief and the enormity of the upheaval of his entire life. she tells him he skates with messy edges and he laughs for the first time since his mother died.
the landry family move to ottawa when shane and rose are thirteen. rose meets a quiet boy with the weight of the world on his shoulders. his auntie died last year, she discovers, and his best friend left, and his world has been so miserable and grey ever since. even hockey has gotten worse; without ilya, he's undoubtedly the best, but more and more people are growing to resent and even hate him for it.
still, rose sees something of herself in this quiet boy. she decides she likes him. and she's thirteen and alone in a new city and new school, too, so sitting with him at lunch is way nicer than sitting alone.
she's very into theater. he's very bad at reading lines with her (he's so flat!) but she's very endeared that he tries anyway, just because it makes her happy. he comes to her school plays. she goes to his hockey games.
of course shane takes her to prom. they're each other's first kiss. it's maybe not a very good kiss, but hey, they love each other, and that's what you're supposed to do when you're a boy and a girl who love each other, right?
shane meets ilya again at the prospect cup when they're seventeen. ilya doesn't greet him with the warmth he hoped for.
(ilya has spent the last five years being told his childhood in canada made him soft, and he needs to grow up. he needs to become hard and cold and strong. look - shane hollander has been winning competition after competition. he doesn't need or care for you anymore. stop being pathetic. you will be better and you will win and you will bring honor and money to the family and you will remember where your loyalties lie first and foremost. you will not be soft. you will not be lazy. you will not be weak.)
so when they meet again, ilya only calls him hollander.
shane tries very hard not to be devastated by this. he goes home and curls up in his bed and tries very, very hard not to look out the window at the house next door.
(shane is perfect and golden and beautiful, ilya thinks. he is from a world that has no place for me anymore. i am a broken thing with sharp edges. i will only make him bleed. better if i stay away and leave him to his charmed, perfect life.)
but they talk again the night of the draft. yuna and david congratulate ilya, tell him it's wonderful to see him again. they congratulate grigori, too, perhaps with less enthusiasm and warmth. and shane and ilya meet in the gym, and they talk, and...
and maybe there's still something there? maybe they can reconnect?
("rose, i think we need to break up," shane says, so, so guilty, his head bowed. "i'm sorry. i think--i don't know, but i just--i think--i think i might like. guys? and... i don't know. i'm so sorry. i just--it's not fair to you for me to be. like this.")
(rose considers that for a second. "okay," she says, and flops herself across his lap. "but we're still doing movie night, right? you promised to do my nails.")
(she won't be unpacking why, exactly, she's so chill with them going back to being best friends instead of boyfriend and girlfriend, but, like, it's just because she's a chill person. and an ally! don't look at her too hard okay.)
shane is so so so happy when he finds out ilya asked for them to do the ccm commercial together. ilya wanted to see him again! ilya does still care! it's not just him!
and then they hook up, and it's incredible, and holy shit, ilya, when did you even learn to do that--
except ilya is still only calling him hollander, and as soon as the sex is over, he's making as if to leave, just like that, and shane doesn't understand. he thought--didn't ilya want to--wasn't this because he--
this was... nothing to him?
"you used to call me shane," shane says. ilya pauses, then turns away to pull his shirt back on.
"that was a long time ago," he shrugs. he's pretending to be unaffected. "i don't know you like that anymore. but damn, hollander, you grew up hot." a wink. he's so unaffected. this is just sex. he doesn't even care.
and shane just stares at him for a minute like. wait. that's all this was about to you? you did all this just because… just for sex? just because you wanted to fuck a man and knew i wouldn't tell? that's it? that's… it?
and then he gets up and yanks on his hoodie and sweats and stuffs his feet into his shoes and just leaves. you know, the classic hollander goodbye. he's going for a walk. he's not going to cry on the walk though. he's not!
and ilya is just left like. uh. but. this is your room?
(he knows shane leaves when he's overwhelmed and upset. some things haven't changed, huh?)
(there's a knot of guilt in the pit of his stomach. shane is overwhelmed and upset, and it's because of him.)
(he shrugs it off and goes back to his room. it's not like he and shane mean anything to each other anymore.)
(...don't they?)
Thus Begins The Rookie Year Of Epic Divorce.
there are many branching paths from here and this is already so long so i'll chill out for the moment but. jazz hands. that's childhood friends au!!
other significant bits include:
ilya gets to visit irina's grave for the first time at his first boston-in-ottawa game. he meets yuna there. she's... not all that thrilled to see him.
(her best friend's son has grown into a detached playboy at all of eighteen, nearly nineteen. he drinks and parties and fucks his way through life, and he doesn't seem to care about anyone or anything anymore. it's a tragedy, what the sweet boy she remembers has turned into. but she doesn't want to let this tragedy drag shane down with it. she won't let it.)
shane wins rookie of the year, notices ilya's absence, and swallows hard. of course ilya won't bother congratulating him or even showing his face. ilya gets to do that. if they were reversed, if ilya had won, and shane was a sore loser about it, the tabloids would have a field day. the antisocial, bitter asian kid: no longer a true golden boy, not if he shows faults.
so he hardens his heart as best he can and accepts when scott hunter offers to buy shots. it's his night. he won. he should have fun and party and stop thinking about ilya.
unfortunately, alcohol is a depressant.
poor scott has no idea what's going on. he's having a good time at the party and then suddenly shane hollander (has been doing shots with the others, now just sitting there with a weird look on his face) bursts into tears.
Okay!
scott: oh, buddy. here, drink some water. it'll be okay. what's wrong?
shane, his eyes enormous: i … am going to die alone.
scott:
scott: bud, you're 20. you have plenty of time--
shane, his lower lip wobbling: no. it doesn't matter. im gonna die alone on the ice 'cuz i'm not allowed to ever be not perfect, and he's never gonna care, and, and--
scott, hearing that "he" and Extremely aware of his own closeted nature (and also hearing kill bill sirens): WHOA!! okay okay here drink some more water. stop talking. maybe we need to get you to your room now okay? okay.
ilya comes back inside just in time to see scott leading a sniffling, tearful shane out of the room. he follows, eyes narrowed, because where the fuck are you taking sh--hollander, hunter? if you hurt him, ilya will kill you.
scott gives him a very odd look and says, uh, i'm taking him back to his room? he's drunk.
shane looks at ilya over scott's shoulder with wide eyes, and then quickly looks away again because he doesn't want ilya to see him crying. the elevator opens, and scott ushers him inside. ilya doesn't follow.
(shane explains to scott, as they make it back to his room: "i told you. he doesn't care about me anymore but it's okay because no one ever really likes me that much anyway so i'm used to it. you probably won't like me very much either if you spend enough time with me. i'm hard to be friends with. everyone says so. so it's not his fault, you don't need to be mad at him like that, okay? i'm sad but it's okay. i'm used to being sad. i want to go to sleep now. do you know where i left my bed?")
("oh, jeez, kid, we really got you smashed," scott sighs. "you're in bed. go to sleep. you'll be alright.")
shane doesn't remember much of it in the morning. it's probably better that way.
also relevant to this au: yuna's brick is part of shane's backstory. ilya doesn't know about it. he still thinks shane's life is oh-so-perfect without any real problems. he is going to experience the shock of a lifetime when he finds out someone tried to kill shane.
One thing I've noticed among a lot (though not all) of TLG criticism is the idea that Shane being mistreated by the Voyageurs prior to FanMail is "fanon" that folks have invented to make the book make more sense to them.
And that's interesting to me because, while it isn't stated outright, I do think it is actually there as intentional subtext. It's just that we are not necessarily supposed to notice until they're outed.
I'm not trying to negate anyone's criticism, by the way. The only person who knows what she intended is Ms. Reid, and even then that doesn't mean she communicated her intentions effectively. People are always going to get different things out of books, and one interpretation isn't any more valid than another as long as you can support it with the text.
It may end up being relevant for Unrivaled, or maybe not. And when it comes to Season 2, the only interpretation that really matters is Jacob Tierney - who can both ASK Ms. Reid her intentions or deviate from them as needed (see, e.g. Yuna as Shane's manager).
But this is what I've noticed to support my interpretation that the Voyageurs actually, likely, were a bad environment since Shane came out. I think I've mentioned all of these in other posts, but I like being repetitive, sorry.
FIRST: We do not actually see the Voyageurs as a team, on page and with dialogue or actions, until FanMail. Prior to that, the only Voyageurs who have actual page time are Hayden and JJ.
I think this is significant in its own right, because we see a lot of the Centaurs. If anything, you'd think we'd see less of the Centaurs, because Role Model takes place concurrently. This is a series, after all, and familiarity with previous books is generally expected.
Since the Centaurs are already established, this would be an ideal time to update us on how things changed with the Voyageurs. (I haven't read Heated Rivalry the book, but the show gave them a fair bit of attention.) I think the fact that we don't see them at all is significant.
SECOND: Shane doesn't mention any of them by name when he's talking about his team, EXCEPT Hayden and JJ.
I've seen folks use the fact that Shane tells Rose that coming out went okay as proof that coming out did, indeed, go okay. And I guess that's fair, because the narrative doesn't outright say he's lying.
But I do think it's notable that his examples are specifically the characters that we already see acting supportive: Hayden and JJ. We don't see any mention of Comeau, Drapeau or any of the others - even though, if the point is that the team's animosity is due to the rivalry rather than homophobia, this would be the perfect opportunity for contrast.
THIRD: Coach Theriault's only appearance, prior to FanMail, involves being homophobic.
In contrast to Brandon Wiebe, who actually gets quite a lot of attention (he's established right away as being young, for a coach, a former player, and has a warm and encouraging manner), we only see one real mention of Coach Theriault prior to the outing.
It's after Montreal's first game - which they won, where Theriault gives them a "don't get complacent" kind of speech in which he refers to the other team as "jerking each other off".
Shane gets very brief reaction moment (I quoted it here) where he agrees with the sentiment, but wishes his coach had used less homophobic wording. And it's pretty clear that Shane's heard a lot of this kind of thing over the years.
But here's the thing. Shane is OUT to his team now. Theriault knows full well that he's giving this speech in front of one of the only two known queer men in the NHL/MLH.
And this is after a VICTORY. What kind of things do we think this guy says after a DEFEAT?
And notice, in the quote, that the players are all nodding along. To be fair, Hayden, JJ, and Shane are too. So it isn't proof positive that they're homophobic. But I think it's notable that we're given many examples of Hayden and JJ being supportive of Shane's sexuality in general, and we don't get any for anyone else.
I think the intended subtext here is that the sentiment of the majority of players is a lot closer to Theriault than it is to Hayden or JJ.
FOURTH: The fact that Shane's Free Agency situation has not been dealt with.
This is a complaint I've seen a lot from folks who know hockey a lot better than I do. And I think it's a fair complaint. It does seem really unlikely that, having a generational player like Shane, a team wouldn't try to lock him down right away.
UNLESS there's an issue with management.
I know Montreal's a very queer friendly place, with an important history in the queer rights movements in North America. But that doesn't mean the managers of a hockey team are going to have the same feelings as a general Montreal fan.
(It's worth maybe remembering that there are no out hockey players in the real NHL. Not even in New York, not even in San Francisco, not in Montreal. Statistically speaking, they must exist. I think there was even an interview where Hudson Williams referenced getting communication from closeted players. That would at least imply that even in a mostly queer-friendly place, players don't feel safe coming out.)
The contract negotiations don't come up specifically in the book, but we know Shane wants to stay in Montreal. Implicitly then, he's not the obstacle in re-signing. And maybe that adds some additional context to Shane's current obsessive focus on performance and diet.
FIFTH: Shane's sexuality is now an open secret in the League/Crowell being involved at all.
Somehow, despite ten years of secret keeping, everyone in the league suddenly knows that Shane Hollander is gay. To the point where antagonists in other books are aware of it.
To the point where Shane has to sit down with Roger Crowell and get obliquely threatened to stay quiet.
How exactly did that happen?
If it were an accidental leak (like FanMail), it probably would have made it to the general public. The fact that it hasn't (and the fact that we haven't seen anyone apologize for letting it slip) would imply that it was leaked purposefully. And the obvious source would be someone in that locker room.
SIXTH: Shane/Hayden/JJ's behavior.
I've mentioned Shane's increased focus on performance and diet higher up. To me, I feel like there's an element of desperation there. There's also the overt "the diet is something he can control" element - which generally implies that there are things outside of his control that he's dealing with.
To me, it seems likely that Shane perceives his acceptance on the team as going hand-in-hand with continuing to win for them. (And we see that illustrated with the trip later.)
It also then makes a lot of sense that Shane is hesitant about anything that involves Ilya coming out. (Though as mentioned, I REALLY hope they just handwave the Russian thing, because if that's still a factor, the whole "league-wide secret" is enough of a justification for Shane's reluctance.)
Hayden is supportive and I think his clashes with Ilya are more performative (on both sides) than anything else. JJ doesn't know about Ilya, but his loud stance about fixing Shane up COULD be partially about showing that he's NOT like the other folks on the team.
(Which may also be part of why he reacts so badly to FanMail. From his perspective, he's been trying to go above and beyond to show that he IS a good friend.)
SEVENTH: Shane's general personality would downplay/dismiss a lot of this.
This is more of a show thing, but as I keep saying, the show is the opportunity for Jacob Tierney to highlight the aspects of each character that he feels is significant, which is especially important because he knows how the story is going to go.
Shane's major traits include pushing through discomfort and downplaying what he himself goes through in favor of other people who have it worse.
So it's very likely that as long as there's SOME plausible deniability, he's going to put up with it. (See, for example, the coach's casual homophobia.) As long as he tells himself "they just need to get used to the idea".
As long as they say things like "Well, we don't care who you sleep with as long as you don't throw it in our faces and keep winning for us", he would probably accept it.
--
When I look at these factors together, I think that the overall subtext here is that coming out did not go well, but we're not necessarily supposed to realize it or how bad it actually is until FanMail.
I don't think that will work in the show, because mediums are different. We know we're going to see the coming out, and I think we're likely to see more explicit contrasts between the Centaurs and the Metros as we go.
But this is my interpretation. And this is probably why the ending to TLG is so lopsided. Because if you go into it with the idea that the Voyageurs environment was unhealthy and perhaps even unsafe (I know we won't see locker room violence in the book/show, but it is a thing that happens in real life...), then it's easier to focus on the happier parts of Shane moving to Ottawa instead of what he's lost.
Unfortunately, I think the fact that Ms. Reid didn't make it explicit hurt her overall momentum.
I don't think she hates Shane though. And I think it's fair to remember that as we Shane Defenders like to point out: Shane was absolutely right about his fears and the narrative vindicates him. She's the one who wrote that. She wrote him being right.
SPOILERS FOR TLG. JUST FKN STOP READING HERE TO REMAIN UNSPOILED
I feel the need, as mixed race queer, to explain why it shouldn't be Shane's job to make Montreal better.
There is a lot of discourse that a better ending to TLG is Shane staying on the Metros and somehow browbeating an entire organization into the 21st Century.
This is purported to be taking up space.
I want to be clear. I support queers taking up space. I support racialized people taking up space.
But I also support people doing what they want to make themselves HAPPY as long as no one else is harmed.
First of all, and we see this more in the show than in the book, Shane has always been forced to "take up space." His "Asianess" is something that people have exploited without his express permission his entire career and probably before that.
I would point once more to the great Paul Kariya, whose Japanese identity was used to make hockey interesting in Japan, despite his oft stated desire to not have his racial background constantly highlighted.
Kariya took up space he didn't want to. He wanted people to talk about his hockey. Not his ethnicity. Not his injuries. His skills.
He was incredibly skilled. But always, always, the stories led with "Japanese Canadian Paul Kariya," not "tapped as the next Gretzky Paul Kariya" or "Playmaker Extraordinaire Paul Kariya."
You can bet Shane has put up with the same treatment his entire life.
When Shane is outed, he gets to add another marginalized identity to his list. Which is something Shane has never wanted.
Shane doesn't want to be the poster boy for anything but good hockey. He doesn't want to be good "despite" being mixed, but he's never had the option. He doesn't want to be good "despite" being gay, but now that option has also been taken away from him.
If Shane stays in Montreal, he's just going to continue being the poster boy, because Montreal's team culture is garbage and it goes all the way to the top.
RR alludes to this in the books when she talks about how great the owners are in Ottawa. They hire and promote Harris, they support Troy, they fight the suspension imposed by the league when Ilya is outed, and when Shane signs with Ottawa, they book Ilya and Shane a fancy dinner just for the two of them as a signing gift.
Once again, RR assumes her readers have puck knowledge and will be able to extrapolate based on that. And I refuse to get mad at her for this assumption because WHY ELSE WOULD YOU READ HOCKEY ROMANCE? She couldn't predict the show would bring an influx of fans who love the queerness and have no idea about hockey.
If you know hockey, especially pro hockey, you know the team culture is not set by the team captains, or the coaches. It is set by the General Manager (GM), and the owners.
The owners hire the GM. The GM decides everything about operations: coaches. Admin. And team members.
I know that hockey players are rich. But they are cattle for the NHL. Yes, there are superstars (well paid but powerless). However, most hockey players make NHL base which is about 800k, and have absolutely no choice in what happens to them. They can be traded at any time, sent to the AHL with very little warning, and are basically fodder for the machine.
Let's play a little game:
Without looking at a list, please name all 23 players on any hockey team's roster.
A casual fan probably knows one or two. A more involved fan? Probably 6-8.
Very few will know all 23, and the names change every. Single. year.
The players can do very little to control the team culture. They have no say in trades. They have no say in coaches. They have no say in management.
Hockey players are the servers of the NHL; all the abuse, none of the power.
At least they're paid better.
The discourse posits that a better ending for Shane is to stay in Montreal and overhaul the whole damn place rather than be shuffled off to a lesser team.
Once again I must point out that OTTAWA IS NOT A BAD TEAM AT THE END OF TLG.
Ottawa beat the top ranked team in the fucking league in the playoffs. It doesn't matter if Shane tripped in OT or not; Ottawa going to game 7 against Montreal is a fucking miracle in itself, and a sign of how toxic the Montreal locker room has become.
MOVING ALONG.
A Montreal rebuild from the ground up, ousting the entire coaching staff, the bulk of the players, and the entire management, not to mention the owners, is not feasible at all. That is not how pro hockey works. RR is writing a story about the NHL. She has to play within the NHL's basic rules.
Ottawa has progressive owners, a queer friendly admin, an excellent fucking team, AND the cap space for Shane if they commit to contract flexes that are legal and not even frowned upon.
Montreal was a shit team when Shane was drafted, that's why they had the second overall draft pick.
Shane made them better and got them three cups
Ottawa is already a team that knocked the number one team in the league out of the playoffs.
Shane shouldn't have to drag Montreal kicking and screaming into the future. He deserves the space to be the greatest hockey player of all time. He deserves to enjoy hockey again.
He deserves to make and break records before he retires triumphant as the greatest hockey player of all time with a (modern) record breaking number of cups.
He deserves to play on the same team as his generational talent husband and rule the NHL until he chooses to stop.
He deserves to have his number retired across the entire League for all time.
Queer joy shouldn't HAVE to involve a fuckton of labour to make a space better. Queer joy can be Shane getting exactly what he's always wanted:
This is Shane's queer joy. This is Shane's deepest desire. He doesn't want to lead the charge to make the League better, he wants to play hockey and love Ilya.
Shane is not a human rights trailblazer. Shane is not Gay Hockey Jesus Scott Hunter, openly defying the NHL's preconceived notions of masculinity. He's not Ilya Rozanov, the Pied Piper of Queerlandia, gently guiding people to their true selves. He is a gay man who wants to do the right thing.
Shane has already had to be one poster boy, it's completely unfair to expect him to be another one.
Shane openly defies Crowell, and may be the only player smart enough to use the place he meets Crowell (a single party consent province) to get information that could take Crowell down.
Taking Crowell down might actually start the cycle to clean up the NHL. Why isn't this enough queer crusading? Why can't Shane just be happy?
If we are constantly going to talk about the amount of suffering Shane had had to do in hockey as a racialized player, why can't he just have a fucking break?
Let him go to a really good hockey team where he can sleep next to his husband every fucking night for the rest of their lives if he wants.
The NHL has kept Shane and Ilya apart since they were 17. Why is it specifically Shane's responsibility to make the League better? Why should Shane have to stay and fix Montreal, when he can go to Ottawa, bang his husband, make a ton of money and win a bunch of cups?
And I'll admit, being told I'm letting down the queers earlier has made me extra sensitive. But expecting Shane to do EVEN MORE emotional labour to make a place where he doesn't feel welcome better so he can take up space is unfair.
No one owes anyone emotional labour.
Besides. The NHL, like all pro sports leagues, runs on money. If the Centaurs win a bunch of cups, they will get higher revenues from ticket sales and merch. Maybe the highest in the league.
If the asshole money men who run the League see that an openly liberal, accepting, queer AF team is the highest revenue generator in the league, that will actually go a long fucking way to making the NHL a more open, accepting, queer AF place. So Shane going to Ottawa and securing his legacy via Cup wins will eventually make Montreal, and every other team, better.
Let Shane do what he's the best at (hockey) and enjoy his goddamn life, and you get the same outcome:
A CULTURE SHIFT IN THE NHL.
Once again, no idea how to end this, except maybe its a good idea to learn a little about the NHL, and we should let Shane be fucking happy.
And also, i will clearly do anything to avoid discussing enforcers and the 2011 off season, even revisit this conversation once again from yet another angle.
Here's Ilya kissing Shane's helmet because yay high note endings.
TLG and its ending does not have much care for the impact of the intersectionality of racism and homophobia faced by Shane. I really wish the ending was more fleshed out considering the seriousness of an outing of public figures with a homophobic fanbase (and with more actual communication between Hollanov beyond the trophy room and goal compilation sex like pls talk to each other 😭). And the outing and trip take away a lot of choice, agency and queer joy from both Shane and Ilya even if there’s a wedding at the end.
However leaving the rancid vibes of the Montreal team for Ottawa was always the best choice for Shane, and he’s even joining at the right time for the best momentum. his stellar experience ( he took Montreal to 3 cups, with closest rivals Boston and New York having only 1 each : ya boi is an excellent captain) will be needed for a team new to playoff hockey. Ottawa is a team mostly rebuilt with excellent players excluding Hollanov (Wyatt, Troy, Luca) in the 3 years Ilya was there, so with Shane joining, he might even get to the 7 Stanley Cups dream he had in HR. And manifesting no more for Montreal as they deserve for treating their GOAT like that 😎
i just imagine the oldies at david’s mcgill hockey team is jealous as fuck like what do you MEAN his son and son in law are THE HOCKEY GUYS like the best ones. some of them tried to get their child to date a hockey player and didn’t even succeed but david hollander not only is the father of the best hockey player but also the father in law of the other best hockey player??? i swear he’s living the dream of some of his old teammates they hate to see a uni reunion coming
A boy who spends so much of his life walking in a straight (no pun intended) line towards his goals, and yeah his parents are sort of encouraging it, maybe pushing it a little too far. But he also wants to walk that line. And so he never really truly pushes back against them, he never really steps off the line. And so they think, great, we can keep helping him along the line, helping him stay on the line. And how lucky that their whole family shares this goal.
And his parents know, if Shane ever were to step off of that path— it would be okay. It would be confusing and maybe disappointing at first. But his parents would still love and support him. But maybe they don’t need to say that out loud, because so far he seems fine on the line. And while it would be okay if he strayed, it would be great if he didn’t.
So Shane doesn’t know that it would be okay. He’s never left the line so he has no proof his parents would love him if he did step off, he has no proof that the world won’t fall apart. And time passes and nothing has really changed he’s still walking in a straight line on the floor, but it starts to feel like a tightrope. And no matter how good you are at walking in a straight line. It’s fucking stressful to be on a tightrope.
And there’s really no way to prove you’re not on a tightrope, except for taking a step on off of it— or by having your dad see you make out with your hockey rival.
I think Shane knows his parents love him, but I don’t think he knows how unconditional it is until that day.
I think this really gets highlighted in episode four.
It's hinted at in the scenes where he's filming the commercial - he is visibly uncomfortable and clearly not enjoying himself, but he pushes through it (and we have Yuna fixing his shirt, seemingly oblivious.)
And reinforced hard in the Wimbledon discussion.
Because there, we see Shane trying very hard to say no to something and getting pretty intense pushback. He very clearly does not want to do it. He challenges Rolex's motives for wanting him there. He asserts that he doesn't want to give up his two weeks of vacation. He is not interested in talking Swedish politics.
His parents will not let up though. "You like the money", Yuna says. "The seats are next to a prince - or princess." "We could take a family trip!" suggests David. "To Wimbledon."
I do think that if Shane finally snapped and said, outright and clearly, "No, and that's final" his parents would have accepted that. They'd have still loved him. But with the level of pushback that he gets when he tries, it makes some sense that he wouldn't realize that. He gives in before he ever puts it to the test.
There's pushback to Ilya too - David driving off without a word. Yuna questioning Shane's integrity. "Are there no nice men in Montreal?" But this time, Shane won't and can't give in. And Yuna and David finally show that they really DO love him unconditionally.
It's hard to believe you're loved unconditionally when for your entire life you've been given what seems to be conditions. Shane had to be brave enough to break them to find that out.
ok genuine question do we know that troy barrett was specifically a dick to shane (to his face). because on one hand, there are plenty of reasons to assume yes. on the other hand, shane is a fucking babe. sometimes awful people act nice to people they think are hot. (in troy's case that might also make it worse.)
anyway. do we have any of shane's thoughts about troy beyond his general reputation? he says troy "seemed like a homophobic douchebag" but that's pretty vague.
This is one scene from Tough Guy where we see Troys homophobia. Troy specifically steers the locker room towards a homophobic discussion , like why idk . We only see Shane thinking about racism after Crowell threatens him after him coming out to the Metros in the Long Game, RR doesn’t mention his race beyond physical descriptions
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