alayna @laynaaf - Tumblr Blog

Posts

halorvic

“It actually feels nice to finally say it out loud. I am an asexual person. I am asexual.”

(print now available here)

markv5

Дефицит кадров

outerrimpilot

“Staff shortage” (the name tag reads “trainee”).

aaronexplainsitall

he’s doing SUCH A GOOD JOB PROMOTE HIM MAKE HIM STORE MANAGER

missblack22

Me purposely pushing people away so they can’t push me away

youlovetoseeit

rip

prokopetz

If you’re trying to catch a housecat that’s gotten outside, don’t forget: they’re an ambush predator and you’re a persistence predator. You have several times more endurance than they do - use that to your advantage! Don’t run after them; that’s playing to the cat’s strengths, and vigorous pursuit may cause them to hide. Instead, follow them at a brisk walking pace until they get tired and need to have a lie-down, at which point you can simply pick them up and take them home.

fsthhdwefg-deactivated20180515

Ok but no shit this tactic is what allowed humans to survive pre-civilisation

lowkey-revolutionary-raccoon

Some mammoth: *chilling, eating grass, mammothing*

Cavedude: *power walks towards them*

Mammoth: oh sIHT

krwzprtt

cat : haha you can’t outrun me

human:

jaunes-hoodie

That’s the best possible use of a gif I’ve ever seen

sisterofiris

Hey students, here’s a pro tip: do not write an email to your prof while you’re seriously sick.

Signed, a person who somehow came up with “dear hello, I am sick and not sure if I’ll be alive to come tomorrow and I’m sorry, best slutantions, [name]”.

yay855

I mean, if someone wrote that to me, I’d probably believe they were sick.

shitposting-hobbits-to-gallifrey

I will now end all my emails with “best slutantions, [name]”

floppyschoice

the cha cha slide in full metal armor

floppyschoice

“sliiide to the left”

*indescribably loud screeching of metal against asphalt*

floppyschoice

“one hop this time”

*clonk*

“two hops this time”

*clonk clonk*

floppyschoice

“everybody clap your hands!”

*clankclankclankclankclank*

snakeybones

Ask and ye shall receive ft. my drunk ass Any other requests? Send ‘em my way!

stereofeathers

What I expected moving to texas: oh hm, cowboy boot... steak..,? the ole' prairie. youve been invited to,come lasso a tumbleweed,! 'howdy there sherriff' as a tramp stamp tattoo. Sweet teA hp potion... country girls make do

What I got when I moved to texas: i cant really leave the house bc theres about 20-30 of these big blue crabs that came up from their underground tunnels bc of the wet and rainy weather all standing on the patio having a fucking clawnference meeting

-_-

concealedblade-deactivated20210

the real personality test: reblog this w/ what apps you have at the bottom bar of your home screen

laynaaf

Instagram, Messages, Spotify, Snapchat

gifbro

4gifs

A Somali Red cheats at a cat show by getting cozy with the judge

cannibality-deactivated20250227

i love that the judge can’t resist giving this fluffo a smooch, thats exactly what i would do if i was a cat technician

3-l4l59

cat technician

bigthecat

paper-mario-wiki

a japanese guy who made a bunch of creepy pasta videos a long time ago (you’ve probably seen Youtube666, he made that) is playing through minecraft for the first time and he’s not using any guides or anything other than the in-game guidebook and he’s fucking. doing it in such a buddhist way.

like, he’s so patient and detached from all of the stuff he’s gotten.

in the newest episode he destroyed 14566 blocks of bridge and blew up his original house just because he learned about xyz coordinates by accidentally pressing F5 and he wanted his house to be at the X:0 coordinate.

also look at this quarry. it’s his 5th quarry.

look at this absolute fucking massive hole.

and it’s not like “HELLOOOOO EVERYBODY WHAT IS UP, TODAY WE’RE GONNA BE PLAYING MIIIIIINECRAAAAFT” he’s just like. a quiet 30 year old japanese man who speaks very precisely and politely. and he even does his own english captions which are overlayed on the video and he uses emoticons like (0u0)/

he’s so wonderful and cute.

paper-mario-wiki

please watch at least like 5 minutes of this.

i PROMISE you you’ll smile.

gbasprite

i’ve been keeping track of piropito’s minecraft series since the beginning and i can promise you all 76 episodes and counting are well worth the watch because it’s incredible the LENGTHS this guy goes to learn and explore without help from others.

some highlights:

-spends literal HOURS upon HOURS building these long, seemingly endless bridges because he wants to reach “the ends of the earth”

-around episode 40, he’s learned the ins and outs of redstone but doesn’t realize you can sleep in your bed.

-the noises he makes when he’s afraid of enemies/dies are precious and gentle and not at all what you’d expect from a famous horror artist

-spends hours trading resources with villagers to get glass only to find out almost 50 episodes in that you can make glass from sand

-destroys several mountains of sand in the desert to not only fuel his love for glass, but also because “explosions are sugoi 0u0″

-sees a silverfish and

-builds a giant “machine” that runs on redstone, minecarts, and pistons that pushes colored sand through a massive glass window. it doesn’t do anything, it just pushes all the blocks to the bottom and breaks after a few minutes. piro seems very pleased with it.

-makes these complex shapes/structures in an attempt to create a nether portal, doesn’t realize it’s just a rectangle

-a fan made a skin just for him, complete with 0u0 face

-falls in lava multiple times, never gives up

-builds a giant coin pusher game for funsies

-NANI KORE?

-in short i beg of you to watch this gentle man play minecraft blind it’s so fascinating

snowgolems-r-fun

vampireapologist-archive-deacti

okay this reminded me of the strongest human being (I use that label with some reservation) I have ever met and I still think about him like once a week because about 4 years ago on Thanksgiving night my sister, cousin, and I were going to pick up a friend about a 40 minute drive from home, and I got lost and tried to turn around on a little gravel pull-off on the side of the road, but my front tires got stuck in the snow.

we were in the middle of nowhere with no cell reception, and the only sign of life was a single, completely dark house across the road from us.

We all did our best to push the car out, and we’re strong people, but we couldn’t make it budge. Cold and stuck, we climbed back and wondered what to do. A car full of men pulled over beside us and asked if we needed help, but getting out of our locked car on a backroad at night with strange men felt like a bad idea, so we said a tow was coming and waved them along. We did that twice before finally deciding our only option was to accept the next offer for help and just risk it,

when a man came out of the house across the street.

He’d clearly been watching us and figured out why we’d been lying to people, which really surprised me & he said “it’s okay, you can stay in your car and keep the doors locked. Just start backing up when I say so.”

I had the window cracked and told him “it’s too stuck. There’s no way we’re getting out. Could you call a tow?”

And he said “just back up when I say so.”

So he walked around the front of the car, squatted, and said “okay back up,”

and I did, and

he lifted

the front of the car Into The Air. Off its front wheels, and we backed up while he essentially wheel-barrowed us back onto the road.

And we were honest to god yelling. We couldn’t help it. We just yelled until all four wheels were back on the ground and he was waving us off while we thanked him.

And then I looked at my sister and cousin & said “he REALLY told us we can KEEP our doors locked as if THAT WOULD’VE FUCKING STOPPED HIM!!!! As if he couldn’t have just RIPPED EM OFF THE HINGES.”

I later looked up the weight of my car, and it’s 3200 pounds without anything or anyone in it.

This haunts me.

vampireapologist-archive-deacti