“Relationships take work”
Some things “relationships take work” should mean:
It takes work to learn to identify, effectively communicate, and mesh your needs/wants with those of another person
It takes work to actively listen and learn the other person’s communication styles as well as their needs and wants.
It takes work to maintain a relationship by planning activities together and investing in time spent together
Some things “relationships take work” should never mean:
Relationships take an exhausting cycle of constantly fighting and making up
Relationships require you to compromise your core values or change core aspects of who you are
Relationships take conforming to the other person’s expectations even when you don’t want to
Relationships take constantly proving to the other person that you deserve respect and/or love
Relationships require you to try to make yourself feel and want things you don’t actually feel or want - or at least pretend you do
Simple truisms like “relationships take work” can be misused in harmful ways.
Relationships do take work, but that work is supposed to be a team effort to support and care for each other while still honouring your own needs and desires.
If your relationship isn’t a healthy partnership, don’t feel like you have to stick it out just because “relationships take work.”
You are not obligated to stay in any relationship you do not want.
It should be more like working at your favourite hobby, you have to put that work in, overcome obstacles to get better at what you love. It shouldn’t be work as in going to your shitty job that you hate. Or working yourself to distress studying for a test with arbitrary rules.
