There Is Blue Ice In My Soul

“The gods envy us. They envy us because we're mortal... Everything is more beautiful because we're doomed.” -David Benioff Aidan || ask || about || writing I track #oxcnus or #lazy--dumpling Buy Me a Coffee

[hempkitty]

can someone please be proud of me like fuck I’m trying

[gremlin-pattie]

reblog to let prev know you’re proud of them

[jewish-sideblog]

No you don’t understand. If we don’t blame Orbán’s defeat on some sort of JD Vance curse then we might have to admit that voting is an effective means of combatting authoritarianism

[ilyrozanov]

oh, there was heaven in your eyes.

[mapetitefeedeslilas]

Shane who, before him and Ilya get outed, keeps hearing people, fellow players, his own friends, talk shit about the man he loves and it pains him, so one night he googles "Ilya Rozanov nice person" and ends up in a subreddit where people share stories of celebrities that are surprisingly nice people and the page dedicated if Ilya is full of wholesome stories

hospital personnel from where he used or still visited the paediatric department with the team, parents of patients, even former patients themselves seeing how great, attentive, funny and light-hearted he was

puck bunnies or women he had one night stands with during the years playing for Boston saying he was a phenomenal lover and a consent king, or women that approached him whilst inebriated and whom he gently turned down, bought a bottle of water for and paid for their cabs to get back home safely

neighbours saying he was very polite, people he was nice or helpful to through the years, a mom with a screaming child whose first class seat on a flight to Moscow he gave up so she could have more room for her herself and the baby, a classmate he defended in school, a former teacher saying how smart and talented he was in spite of not having much time to study because he was training a lot, Russian-speakers saying his interviews in his mother tongue are a thing of beauty and incredibly well-spoken, waiters and shop assistants stressing how polite his interactions were

Shane devours these stories with tears in his eyes and a heart about to explode, the tab perpetually open in his phone, incognito mode.

And when someone talks shit about Ilya or when, after their outing, hate starts to be thrown at him even more viciously from the media, he goes back to the tab, just to see that there actually many that agree with him: Ilya, the love of his life, is the most wonderful person

[maureen2musings]

Málaga, Spain

musteries

[moldavite]

some intimacy and access to a skeleton army would go like crazy right now

[indulgeinselfcare]

[fractally]

don't worry about me when I say this but I think in a way being hunted for sport would be a relief. my nervous system would be like, wow. finally, a proportional reaction

[04k96]

Here

[crackerslacker69]

The Metros absolutely crush Buffalo, and Shane's phone get's broken in the post-game locker room celebration chaos.

He is Freaking Out bc he doesn't actually know what Ilya's phone number is. His SIM card got crushed underneath a pair skates, so there's no recovering "Lily's" contact card.

On top of that, his old Ottowa number won't transfer to his Montreal provider. So "Lily's" texts will now be delivered into the ether. Or to some random person's phone if his old Ottowa number gets given out again.

Ilya of course has literally no idea this has happened and is sending his usual flirtatious messages to...silence. No response. He's not even getting left on read. Because the messages aren't even getting read. He goes through the five stages of grief. Fuck Shane Hollander, he doesn't need this shit. They're supposed to play against each other Tomorrow for fucks sake. His resolve lasts for about....two hours? And then he's on social media. What's this fucking asshole up to that he can't even read Ilya's texts?

He pulls up the first interview, the one right after Buffalo. Shane looks....really stressed out. Which is confusing given that they've just won.

"Yes of course I am super happy to win. Unfortunately the locker room celebration did get a little out of hand though."

He holds up his mangled phone.

"So if you're trying to contact me, sorry about that!"

He's blushing and smiling and seems so flustered and embarrassed. He's looking at a camera, millions of people can hear him, but he's speaking directly to Ilya. Ilya's face breaks out into his "you have a stylist?" smile. He feels....a little embarrassed about his crashout, but also super fucking relieved. Ilya swipes through a couple more videos and watches the most recent interview.

"We are absolutely looking forward to facing off against the Raiders. Also I brought this up last time but, turns out I can't keep my old phone number. So if you're texting me and I'm not responding, it's because I can't!"

He laughs, but it seemd a bit forced. Like he might tear up if he gets pushed the wrong way. Ilya goes back and watches through all the interviews since the Buffalo game. Shane has found a way to bring up his broken phone in every single interview for the past two weeks. It's so sweet...and also a little heartbreaking. He knew exactly what was gonna happen, and was terrified of Ilya thinking that he didn't want to talk to him. He didn't want Ilya to feel alone and confused and upset. He's so fucking ernest and endearing.

Ilya cannot Wait to give him shit about it on the ice tomorrow.

[haughtyraban]

“there’s an ai tool for that” okay ?? there’s probably an ed sheeran song for it too who gives a fuck

[ohlivish]

hey did ya'll know that ed sheeran is working on a series of 6 albums named after media player buttons and the first one released last year and the last one is to be released posthumously on the day that he dies

[im-a-goat-in-disguise]

That doesn't sound right but I don't know enough about Ed Sheeran to prove otherwise

[knifefarty]

…huh

[fortuneaday]

[sometiktoksarevalid]

[dude-the-best-names-are-taken]

Translation for the Punjabi bits.

"Mind your business, excuse me...Mind your business! I don't want weird (or senseless) animals talking to me. Do you understand me? Ill-mannered person, he has no manners. He doesn't know how to talk to a woman! We're both talking it out, who are you to speak in between? WHAT IS IT? WHY ARE YOU TALKING TO ME? WHO ARE YOU? EXCUSE ME!" :)

[lamignonette]

[wanderlustfuldays]

Sé Velha Coimbra, Portugal

[error-404-fuck-not-found]

man you really gotta give it up for skin, the best organ ever

what's keeping out practically every disease, infection, and contamination? skin

what's responsible for 90% of cooling you down when it's hot outside? skin

what can absorb radiation from the goddamn sun and somehow you only get hotter for it? skin

what organ can you decorate with paint, cosmetics, tattoos, and also use as a to-do list when you've got your wrist and a sharpie? SKIN BABEYYYY

practically every organ is annoying in some way. the human body is cursed. every bone and muscle is built spitefully and your immune system is halfway trying to kill you. but skin? skin is trying its very best and it's doing a great job of it. skin is healing up after the most fucked up stuff imaginable and growing back twice as strong because it loves you and wants to protect you. this is not a shitpost i just genuinely want more people to take a second to appreciate something about themselves they've always taken for granted

talk shit about acne all you want, but that infection would have been a death sentence if skin hadn't taken the hit for you so be nice

[lavenderprose]

In my mind, Shane's username is ShaneHollanderHockeyPlayer because there is another Shane Hollander who is a forensic anthropologist out of UC Berkeley who got the username ShaneHollander first. Shane's username was originally just ShaneHollander24 but that didn't differentiate between them enough and Shane was waking up once or twice a month to DMs like "Hey Shane my name is CSI Sanders with the Las Vegas crime lab we wanted to get your opinion on this scene in Henderson NV, hope you don't mind got your info from your office out in SF they said this was the best way to contact you" and several dozen images of what is clearly a violently murdered skeleton.

Shane Hollander the anthropologist has a standing invitation to any of the Metros games against the Mission and donates generously to the Irina Foundation every year. Also, he had to deactivate his professional accounts for a few days in 2021. Shane and Ilya sent him an edible arrangement. Ilya wrote "Sorry bone man :(" on the card when Shane wasn't looking.