I Am Not Cool

[lazyandsarcastic]

Absolutely no one:

Me: Scrubbin Bubbins

[bastardwordsmith]

There's a uquiz I really want to make but I don't know if I can publicly drag myself that bad

[bastardwordsmith]

Alright everybody. Pick some characters I had strong feelings about as a child and I'll assign you a weird kid personality

[lazyandsarcastic]

I’m mad

[thoodleoo]

homosexual? oh no, you misheard me. i’m homersexual. im only attracted to the abstract concept of a collection of oral poets who can recite thousands of lines about the rage of achilles and the journeys of odysseus from memory

[wizardshark]

Oh thank God I thought you meant Simpsons porn

[lacefuneral]

one fear

[lazyandsarcastic]

I’m tired of keeping my body alive. What did I ever do to you? It’s constant

[mrkanman]

king minos: get this monster out of my sight!! put it in a labryinth so i never have to look at it again!! gods holy fuck!!!

the minotaur, born like a day ago:

[bigmammallama5]

#the minotaur: bro i am literally just vibing

[mishi-mish-mosh]

People outside Utah: Haha colts are such a joke. They dont exist, they’re just on TV

People in Utah:

[corvigay-clutter]

cults in media:

this man on my street always looks creepy and is up at odd hours. 😱 there was a dead cat in his yard too. 😱😱we found a book with creepy latin in his yard and he had friends come over in the middle of the night on friday the 13th where we saw them chanting in a dead language, sacrificing someone, and summoning a demon 😱😱😱😱😱

.

cults in real life:

my elderly neighbor just came over today with a plate of cookies to ask if i was okay because i haven’t been to church in a while. i take them and immediately throw them away once she leaves because i’m suffering from an eating disorder caused by this “church” telling me that my body is to be kept pure and beautiful for my future husband. i haven’t yet admitted to myself that i’m a lesbian. one old friend won’t talk to me because i expressed hesitation at the idea of being a mother. 

my bishop wanted to talk to me a week ago to see if i was worthy to go into the temple and pledge my life to the lord. he asked me, alone in a room with him, if i masturbated, looked at porn, was sexually involved with anyone, or had impure thoughts. we’ve had this interview several times, starting on my 12th birthday. 

i don’t go to youth group for a while because i feel too impure to be around other human beings. one of the girls brings me a coloring book of scripture quotes and says that all of the other girls are wondering where i am. they’ve noticed i’m “struggling with the faith” and want to know when i’m available to be prodded until i share my faith trauma like a slumber party crush so they can invalidate it. “it’ll be so fun,” she says “we can do our nails, make popcorn, and read our scriptures. you’ll feel so much better!” she leaves and i cut myself up to my elbow again.

it takes me over a decade to leave. i’ve been forced to give 10% of all the money i’ve ever made in my life to this group, and needed a lawyer to leave. when i die, they will baptize me back into the cult “by proxy”. i haven’t been involved for years and still can’t look at myself in the mirror. 

i hesitantly bring up my struggles with it during a conversation about religion. 

“oh!” someone interjects excitedly “my neighbor is a mormon! they’re such nice people!”

[lazyandsarcastic]

If I asked a question that was difficult to answer would be told to believe whatever I wanted. But to believe is to believe fully with all your heart. Imagine telling a 10 year old to decide herself how the existence of dinosaurs fits with her faith and then to believe that with all her heart.

If I got married my parents would not have been allowed to see. My brothers would not have been allowed to see.

When I told my youth leader that I was leaving she kept me in her car outside my home and told me that Satan was lying to me and I needed to pray and not stop praying until God told me to stay.

When I moved most recently I got a facebook message from a member I have never met saying that they saw I moved and asked if I wanted my church records transferred out of Edmonton. I never went to church in Edmonton. I lived there for ten years and left the church four years before that.

People in the church are told that if their family members leave the church then they themselves are not able to get to the highest level of heaven.

You keep your body pure not for yourself, but for your future husband. You don’t own your body, you are property.

[cockandballnurture-deactivated2]

[sabertoothwalrus]

last night my brother asked me if I ever get two completely unrelated songs stuck in my head together and then several hours later sends me this

[sabertoothwalrus]

this song is just what executive dysfunction feels like

[morikorii]

Animatic from a silly interaction

[pinkmisspiggy]

oh to be a stage girl in the 30s sitting in my uncomfortable outfit, looking all feathered & positively dazzling in a dressing room packed with other feathered n positively dazzling ladies, sighing because my good stockings have ripped again & having another one of the girls touch the rip on the back of my thigh with tenderness before she tuts & says ‘that’s too bad, sugar. let’s see if i have some that will fit you’. oh to try on the same tights that have been on her legs & to have her say ‘the trick is petroleum jelly’ before she makes me wiggle them down so she can get out a tub of vaseline and make me shine from the waist down & then tell me we’re gonna be stars together one day and we don’t need anyone else but each other and for me to climb over all the snoring girls late at night to lay right next to her & hold her tender hands & say ‘yeah, ok, just me and you’

[gayingupspace]

[livelovecaliforniadreams]

Ben + Devi + Season 1

[dylans-obrien]

devi x ben vs devi x paxton

[lazyandsarcastic]

I haven’t seen a meme for Never Have I Ever yet

[tobpdornottobpd]

back in that casual “i want to erase all evidence of my existence” kinda mood again

[engimaticcraft]

Whoever started the “watching horror movies lowers your vibration therefor you can’t be a spiritual person and enjoy horror movies” bullshit needs to shut up

[sonneillonv-deactivated20220218]

This is like watching the very tip of an iceberg float past and being glad you can’t see how big it is under the water.

[inabasket]

Hi my name’s Gregory, Greg for short, Grego for medium

[givemearmstopraywith]

i am writing a thesis on wuthering heights and this is all i have to show for it (x)

[vergess]

It’s been days and I’m not over this, like, this captures wuthering heights in a way that I truly believe only an exhausted but dedicated grad student analyzing every line could possibly achieve, this is High Art