Lee's Worldview

The words of Lee as she observes the weird, horrible, and chaos of her daily life.Follow Lee on twitter: @WriterLeeL Patreon: https://www.patreon.com/leelopez email: [email protected] Website: https://bryceapacheco.wixsite.com/leelopez-1

[leewordsandworldview]

This one is called: My Life fucking Sucks

I'm not being an overdramatic teenager either.

I should know when I suddenly get woken up its not for a party yet I'm always surprised. "What happened to your brother?"

"What?"

"You're sister is crying on the phone I think something is wrong."

"Which brother?" Listen I have 11 siblings, sue me. Big family remember?

"Joe" lets call him Joe.

I call my grandma because even when I was little she knew everything so even when I'm 26 it's the same right? So I call her & as soon as she answers all she says is my name, then Joe's & starts sobbing and I KNOW. I fucking know what happened even if she didn't tell me. Then I'm stumbling to find my other sister who isn't at work & she sees tears streaming down my face & yells at me to tell her what's wrong. The thing is, I can’t fucking speak. I can just sob & my grandma is on the other end of the phone sobbing & my sister is freaking out confused & no one is getting an answer. I don't know what happened, my sister doesn't know who died & my big brother is gone.

Finally I manage a "bye" to my grandma & sob "Joe" to my sister & she grabs me because she knows too.

Because we've lost so many people before, because the thing they don't tell you about a big family is a lot of funerals. And we lost my mom and dad and brother and cousins and aunts and I've been to more funerals I can count. And just last year my other older brother shot himself in the head on the 3rd year anniversary of my mom's death & I laugh at the fact that I was at my mom's grave giving her flowers while he was down the road dead & wished he could've took me with him.

Then my other sister comes home, the oldest now, the one who found out & she's in her uniform & she grabs me & she's crying too because more than anything we're tired. And our big brother is gone & it sucks.

So I go home & plan another funeral. I'm in the mortuary & you know what Doug (lets call him Doug) the owner tells me? "You've been here before so you know how this works." Because I have, I've planned so many fucking funerals it's got to be a joke for God. At this point I have a funeral home punch card & my next funeral I get 500 dollars off. Two more MY funeral is free. So I go through the motions. I want this quote, that picture, yes I have a slide show, this time to this time, no I have a speaker already, thank you, goodbye see you soon.

Anyway somewhere in the middle of that planning I get some more news, my niece died in a car accident. I'm holding my dead brother's clothes in my hands going through his things when I get the news my niece fucking died. How twisted is that? Then I have to keep going, I'm planning a funeral I don't have to MOURN. I explain with my cut off hair in my hand, it's so long I mourn it too.

Then the day comes, I'm getting into the car to go to my brother's funeral when my Uncle calls.

"My son is dead." He says & I kinda want to laugh because bad things happen in 3s right? So I lost my big brother, my niece, & cousin in less than a month. I say sorry & he says sorry he can't come to the funeral & we hang up as I mentally prepare for that funeral. But I can’t mourn him yet because I have 2 other deaths scheduled BEFORE that so he's gonna have to wait his turn.

And I go & I cry & I get kinda numb because I don't think anyone can handle 3 deaths in 3 weeks, you'd have to be a God. So now I'm sitting here, brain shut off because if it was on I'd have a mental break down.

And he was 45 and he was 36 and she was only 20 and I would do anything to trade places with any of them because I promise you they meant more in this world than I ever did.

So anyway how's life been for you? Because I hope you don't think I'm exaggerating when I say I'm God's favorite joke.

-Lee

[leewordsandworldview]

Oh wow hi.

[lukestarkillerisgay]

i said whoever burned the library of alexandria you’re moms a hoe

[leewordsandworldview]

An Archive of Our Own, a project of the Organization for Transformative Works

After the death of his family Derek has to learn to overcome grief and prepare to take over as King of Beacon. His only tools are a letter his mother left him, a book with the Hale family history, and a spark.

Plot thought up completely by @celestialvoid-fanfiction I just added some details.

[leewordsandworldview]

An Archive of Our Own, a project of the Organization for Transformative Works

After the death of his family Derek has to learn to overcome grief and prepare to take over as King of Beacon. His only tools are a letter his mother left him, a book with the Hale family history, and a spark.

Plot thought up completely by @celestialvoid-fanfiction I just added some details.

[dianapforlunch]

Bruce Banner in Avengers (2012): Hulk is the darkest part of me…The wrath I cannot control…Why my bones are made of glass…

Bruce in Infinity War (2018): What the FUCK did you just say, ugly ass green thumb looking mf?? NO???? what the FUCK is up hulk step the FUCK up hulk

[asgardianss]

Taika made Bruce cool

[freakxwannaxbe]

When you first start dealing with depression vs Dealing with it now

[vampirescholar]

tom holland starred in billy elliot on stage, still dances ballet a lot, confidently said he’d fuck thor, is soft around puppies and kids all the time, talks about getting emotional/crying without making it seem like a bad thing or a big deal, and dressed in this

while dancing to rihanna, and i just love him a lot for it, ok? i’m glad this is the guy that little boys growing up now will see playing spiderman. you go on rejecting toxic masculinity, tom. 

[alphacrone]

the 7 deadly sins of being a writer

self-doubt

procrastination

sleep deprivation

jealousy

wailing (despair)

notebook lust

horrifying comma use

[sabacc]

[oldsouldier]

I am laughing so hard steve lands so lightly on his toes like a damn ballerina and bucky just drops like a ton of bricks on that car and fucking CRUSHES IT

[civicbooty]

So, in parkour, there is a practice of trying to land as quietly as possible. This is because landing lightly and softly absorbs the energy from the impact into the muscles as opposed to the bones where they may do some hard damage.

So, by landing lightly on his feet, Steve is employing good practice, showing training that works with his body, to get the most out of his super-soldierity.

However, the Winter Soldier lands harshly and without regard to the well being of his body. His objective is only the kill, and he will sacrifice his body and push through considerable pain to complete his mission.

[221bitssmallerontheoutside]

That got sad real fast

[skulandcrossbones]

just to highlight the difference between the winter soldier’s movements and bucky’s.

[sirenphrynne]

I swear to god the little details they put into this movie are insane on a subconscious level.

[addictionmarvel-deactivated2018]

I’m gonna cry

[rileywrites-parker]

*whispers* tell me again how you think he’s a villain and not a victim?

[that-catholic-shinobi]

That civil war addition though!

[celestialvoid-fanfiction]

Derek Hale is soon to be crowned-prince, ascending to the throne when his mother dies, but there’s one problem; he has yet to find his Spark. 

Derek thought he had fallen in love with Kate Argent, but she turned out to be an abusive psychopath that nearly killed him. After that, he shut himself off from the world, and from others. That is, until one day when he was walking through the centre of town with his uncle. 

As he and Peter walked through the streets, he bumps into a young man. He wheels around to look at the man, feeling something in his chest change. He’s shocked by how gorgeous this young man is, and is captivated; unable to take his eyes off the young man. The young man - Stiles - apologises kindly, but Peter starts to make a scene, threatening Stiles. Derek silences his uncle and apologises to Stiles, leaving everyone stunned. Derek smiles kindly and turns to leave.  

After that, Derek begins to sneak out of the castle to see Stiles.

Their relationship grows but Peter frowns upon it, trying to put a stop to it; trying to pin crimes on Stiles and have him executed. 

Derek wakes to the sound of a gathering crowd and steps forward to find Stiles chained in place, the executioner ready. He pushed through the crowd and shields Stiles with his body, refusing to let go. The guards drag him away and Stiles whispers that it’ll all be okay. 

The executioner raises his axe and Derek cries out for Stiles.

Stiles shuts his eyes as the blade comes down. But at the last second, the blade turns to ice and shatters, sparkling fragments raining down around Stiles. 

Everyone freezes, all eyes on Stiles as he opens his eyes.

His eyes glow white and spark with power and electricity.

Derek lets out a sigh of relief, a smile playing across his lips as he realises he found his spark.

[leewordsandworldview]

An Archive of Our Own, a project of the Organization for Transformative Works

After the death of his family Derek has to learn to overcome grief and prepare to take over as King of Beacon. His only tools are a letter his mother left him, a book with the Hale family history, and a spark.

Plot thought up completely by @celestialvoid-fanfiction I just added some details.

[mixieshorrorhouse]

Valentine’s Day Massacre

On February 14, 1929 on the north side of Chicago, 7 of the Irish Gangster George “Bugs” Moran’s men were gunned down.

Although never confirmed it is widely believed the brutal mass murder was orchestrated by none other than notorious gangster Al “Scarface” Capone. Moran and Capone were longtime rivals who competed over control over the illegal trades of bootlegging, gambling, and prostitution. Which if they lived now or at least to see Mobsters in the 60s they could of ran Las Vegas. At least now it could have been legal.

The gunmen arrived dressed as police officers which led Moran’s gang to believe they were getting arrested. They were then ordered to line up against a brick wall with the backs turned to be “patted down” only to have the fake cops open fire on the gang in what is now considered one of the bloodiest moments in history.

However even though it was widely believed Al planned the slaughter it was never confirmed and no one was arrested for the crime.

One thing is for certain, Valentine’s Day 1929 sure had a lot of red.

[mixieshorrorhouse]

Valentine’s Day Massacre

On February 14, 1929 on the north side of Chicago, 7 of the Irish Gangster George “Bugs” Moran’s men were gunned down.

Although never confirmed it is widely believed the brutal mass murder was orchestrated by none other than notorious gangster Al “Scarface” Capone. Moran and Capone were longtime rivals who competed over control over the illegal trades of bootlegging, gambling, and prostitution. Which if they lived now or at least to see Mobsters in the 60s they could of ran Las Vegas. At least now it could have been legal.

The gunmen arrived dressed as police officers which led Moran’s gang to believe they were getting arrested. They were then ordered to line up against a brick wall with the backs turned to be “patted down” only to have the fake cops open fire on the gang in what is now considered one of the bloodiest moments in history.

However even though it was widely believed Al planned the slaughter it was never confirmed and no one was arrested for the crime.

One thing is for certain, Valentine’s Day 1929 sure had a lot of red.

[alexasnotebook]

hello ! new writing blog

i’m a new writeblr (is that how you spell it?) and I’d really enjoy following some new blogs !!

Reblog if you:

🌦 are a writeblr / enjoy writing

🌦 are an active account

[leewordsandworldview]

2/8/18

This one is titled Lee’s “Family Reunion”.

There’s nothing like a 3 hour drive with 4 other family members to remind you how much you fucking hate your family. I had to spend my Friday afternoon driving my little cousin, two aunts, and grandma 3 hours from Arizona to California. I knew this trip would be bad as soon as it started. How?

 When I plugged my phone into the aux and put on my playlist to start the drive my Aunt (lets call her) Crazy asked “Can you turn off the back speakers, we don’t want to hear your music”. I could not, we were in my grandma’s car, not mine, I don’t know this car other than how to turn on my songs and the gas pedal from the break. I sighed through my nose before answering, “Do you know how to do that?”

“No….”

“Well then I guess you all are just gonna have to shut up and deal with it.” Is my reply before turning it up and heading towards the highway.

 I’m going to spear you the hair pulling details of the “are we there yet” car ride. A question which was not asked by my 15 year old cousin but his 52 year old mom. We will call her Aunt Sleepy.

 Anyway we get to the family reunion or as you would call it funeral. Yeah my family can’t make time or afford to visit for nice occasions, the only way we see each other is through funerals. And my aunts immediately disappear to get go high with their cousin. Yeah it’s a shitty thing to miss a funeral for, welcome to life with heroin addicts what can I tell you.

 Anyway I get to see my cousins and my uncles so that’s cool. My cousin (let’s name him) Vic just got engaged which is like, insane. I never thought I’d see the day. I mean he’s been with his girl for 12 years and always brushed off the marriage and family comment with he wasn’t ready. I thought I WOULD be married with kids by the time he agreed to start a family and I don’t even want to get married or have children. So I congratulate him on his Christmas day engagement in the same room one of my aunt’s body is resting in because circle of life and all that jazz. Seriously, she’s probably smiling at him from wherever we go to after life.

 We stay for a few hours than the wake is over; we have to return at 9 a.m. for the burial. Hey quick question, why is it called a wake? That’s got to be some fucked up joke right? Like let’s go to the wake to lay your grandpa to rest Jimmy. I don’t understand people who name things. I don’t understand language at all actually. It’s my job to understand language though, like the main part. My career is built on stringing words together to make a coherent sentence. But that’s a whole another rant in and of itself. I don’t know if you notice by now but I go off on tangents a lot.

So day 2 we wake up in the hotel and rush to get ready by 9 a.m. Let me rephrase that. Day 2 my grandma and I rush to get ready and manage to be ready to leave by 8:30 but no one else is. Do you know how awkward it is to be late to a fucking funeral? Me either but I’m about to find out. Here’s the thing about heroin addicts, they are really fucking slow and scatter brained. It’s like living with a sloth that isn’t cute. It’s like no Aunt Sleepy and Aunt Crazy stop nodding off and put your pants on they're burying Aunt Ida as we speak. And if there’s anyone out there who is reading this who doesn’t know the symptoms of heroin addiction, nodding off and sleeping are not the same thing. Google it or just trust me.

We make it on time… for last viewing. As in we’re really fucking late. Any later Ida would’ve been buried 6 feet under already. No one blinked so it wasn’t too embarrassing but still shitty. The thing is I have a big family, like huge. Everyone talks about how great big family’s are all the time. How awesome it is to have so many siblings, a squad of cousins, how great you have aunts and uncles so it’s like multiple sets of parents. But no one mentions that’s a lot of fucking funerals you have to attend, that there’s family you have never met because there’s so many and so little time, that some can’t come to the same event because they don’t get along.

Anyway I’m looking over all my cousins, and aunts, and uncles, while we are all saying goodbye and I think, man, there’s nothing like a funeral to remind you how much you love your family.

-Lee

[leewordsandworldview]

1/17/18

This one is called: Lying is the most fun a girl can have without taking off her clothes.

Can I start off by saying that title is shit and I’m shit for not thinking of a better one?

Anyway today. Wednesday is my weekly therapist appointment. That always takes a lot out of me. Spending an hour trying to dissect your childhood traumas and conquer your mental illness will do that to you. Anyway, I got my wisdom teeth taken out a month ago, all four in one day. Yeah, I don’t like to talk about. So I had another dentist appointment today to redo some fillings. Man, I was not emotionally ready for that. Listen I know it wouldn’t hurt, I know there would be no recovery time, I know it would be nothing compared to those annoying wisdom teeth but my brain could not allow me to go to the dentist.

 So I raced to the ATM, took out my last 40 bucks out of the bank and texted my one friend in town (let’s call her April) to hang out since I knew it was her day off.

 As soon as she agreed I called into the dentist, something urgent came up and I had to reschedule. Then I told my family something came up and my dentist rescheduled me. The only one who knows the truth is you and April. Who I took to eat rootbeer floats and burgers. Then we parked across the street from a church atop a hill with Starbucks feeling very much like Thelma and Louise.

So listen Lying is alright sometimes, and it could lead to fun that doesn’t involve sex. Am I a horrible human for canceling my dentist appointment, I don’t know ask my teeth. Listen I’m here for a good time not a long one. I could wake up every morning at 6 am, do yoga, be vegan, and do cross fit and still get hit by a fucking bus getting a smoothie and die. I can also do hardcore drugs, drink lots of alcohol, have unprotected sex and live to be a fucking hundred or close like Hugh Hefner. At the end of the day, whatever your religious beliefs, whether your buried or cremated, none of us make it out alive, do whatever the fuck you want. Disclaimer: As long as you’re not harming other people.

 -Lee

[leewordsandworldview]

1/16/18

This one is called: Red is beautiful. Ahhh high school. I try not to give much thought to it. You know, besides the bi-yearly nightmare I have that I am back in it. I don’t really keep in contact with anyone from high school either except for a select few cool cats.

Wow can you tell I didn’t have much friends in high school?

Anyway I’ve been thinking about a certain friend from high school. One of the cool ones I still kept up with. We aren’t close but we follow each other on certain social media sites, which is the equivalent to acquaintances, isn’t it?

So I guess we aren’t friends anymore and all my freaking out is over nothing.

Let me back up, what am I freaking out over?

I do a pretty good job of separating friends and possible romantic partners. Once someone is my friend they basically become family and it is illegal to date your family kids, remember that. Gross. Anyway let’s call this high school friend Red.

Red has been a constant background in my life for years. I do mean years. I’ve been aware of them the whole time but never really been aware of them, do you know what I mean?

Let’s do an exercise. Think of the pretty thing in your hometown. Is it that tree down the block, the bridge you used to get drunk at before you were 21, or the building next to your work? Picture it in your head. You know it’s beautiful but it’s not really breathtaking anymore. The tree is the one you broke your arm falling off as a child, the bridge lost it’s appeal the second you could go to the bars downtown, that building is the one you zone out on when you’re getting bitched at by your supervisor. When those things are seen every day you forget they are actually a pretty cool sight You don’t even notice them. Like your nose, it is constantly in your vision but your brain phases it out after a while. Except times like these when an asshole points out you can always see your nose….

 Anyway, that’s Red. She’s the mountain I can see from my backyard but don’t stop and stare out until my cousin is visiting from out of town and says “Wow your view is breathtaking”. And I realize it stopped being pretty to me years ago. That mountain doesn’t stop being pretty, you just get used to it.

Red has been a constant background in my life for a long time, I just didn’t stop and enjoy the view until now and for some reason that freaks me out.

-Lee