Len the Raptor @lenkusov - Tumblr Blog

Pinned post I guess?

Ole Musky is probably gonna yank the copper wiring out of the walls of twitter HQ to pay off all the lawsuits soon so I'm jumping ship to a site I know will stick around cause it's too unprofitable for anyone to pawn it off.

Haven't used Tumblr since, like, pre-porn-ban times and don't even have the email for that account anymore, so I am still figuring this out cause it's way more complicated to scream my cursed thoughts into the void when there's TWO text fields and a character limit that's entirely too high for someone with my attention span.

darkandstormyranger

finally some relatable content on ig

copperbadge

Men, boys, and eggs of my acquaintance, I cannot stress this enough:

Nobody worth being with will ever judge you based on your deli sandwich choices.

Sincerely, a dude who had to watch like two dozen men pretend to find vegetarian sandwiches unthinkable in order to maintain a sense of masculinity today.

copperbadge

The sando gender spectrum I osmoted this weekend according to a specific type of dude:

1. Roast beef is the most masculine of sandwiches. The only sandwich it is permissible to ask for by name (we did not have roast beef as an option).

2. Ham is an acceptable substitute for roast beef. There appears to be some controversy, however, over the bread options; we only had two, croissant or ancient grains roll (gluten free). Croissant is considered slightly more manly than ancient grains UNLESS you are under 20 in which case "ancient grain" sounds badass.

3. Turkey is okay, obviously not ham but if you don't like ham it's an option as long as you don't show enthusiasm for it. Definitely has to have mayo however. Mustard is a bit much. (Initial field research indicates mayo is the manliest of condiments but we have not introduced barbecue sauce into the study yet.)

4. Chicken salad is woman food. Absolutely not acceptable unless you announce loudly that it's for your wife or that she's making you for your health.

5. Vegetarian wraps require a recoil reaction or a sheepish "oh, no, no, what meats do you have?" protest. We had the veggie wraps off to one side so vegetarians could get to them more easily, and guys would come up to the wrap boxes because there was no crowd/line, then I'd say "that's veggie wraps" and they'd stagger back.

To be clear, most of the people of all genders at the event were totally fine, this was a small and specific set of guys -- mostly older dudes and (unsurprisingly) their young sons or grandsons. Maybe 20-30 people out of the 400+ attendees. But it really was both sad and a little funny to watch them unnecessarily assert their manhood using deli meat to me, a guy in a floral shirt with neon blue hair handing out box lunches at a charity event. My indifference to your masculinity is so vast it has its own international calling code, fellas.

copperbadge

Friends, I have volunteered in the lunch tent once more and I have new scientific findings to share regarding the Sandwich Gender Spectrum.

We still do not serve roast beef, the most toxically manly of all sandwiches, but it turns out that there is a sandwich option almost as masculine, the mention of which will preclude a certain type of dude from even asking for roast beef:

The Italian.

For those unfamiliar, an Italian sandwich in most American sandwich shops is composed of ham, capicola, salami, and sometimes pepperoni, with provolone, the usual sandwich veggies, and a drizzle of Italian dressing.

The hierarchy from ham-downwards remains undisturbed by this revelation currently rocking sandwich discourse, but new data has indicated that the Italian sandwich occupies a special place above ham and technically below roast beef but so acceptable a substitute for roast beef that I only had one guy ask me for it this time around. I would say, "We have ham, Italian, turkey, or veggie," and the Certain Kind Of Man would look skeptically at the ham and then ask for an Italian.

I am now working on my doctoral thesis in Sandwich Gender, where I will be examining whether there is a direct correlation between how masculine a sandwich is and how weirdly homoerotic the name is. I'm going to call it "I'd Like An Italian: Gender And Sexuality Between The Buns."

tgirl-subway-the-dark-ages

i find this very interesting

oak1985

I would like to submit additional data for your groundbreaking study. The deli nearest me has some sandwiches named after four private schools in the area. The boys school: roast beef. The two girls schools: vegetarian (different veggies, color coded to the school colors). The co-ed school, turkey.

copperbadge

I feel....I feel so peer-reviewed. Independent replication of results!

emil

"Peggle make phone calls" has become shorthand for "fuck it, whatever" for me but no one ever knows what im talkingabout and it's also longer (longhand?)

emil

peggle make phone calls

cheaphalloweencostume

yesterday my grandma found a penny on the floor and said to my grandpa “there’s that penny again, pa!” and i absolutely lost my mind because i couldn’t shelve the thought of a single panel Far Side comic of two old people on the front porch in the middle of nowhere and a giant penny angrily and inexplicably rolling through the wastes

“there’s that penny again, pa!”

secreteggplantbaby

cheaphalloweencostume

this is hands down my single favorite post ive ever made that got notes

not100bees

Talking about recession indicators at this point is like going "I think we might have hit something." When the Titanic is fully vertical.

lucky-jac

Holding everyone's hands gently as I say this. We are in the middle of the modern great depression. Based on every concrete economic metric.

Less people own homes today than we did during the great depression.

More people are unable to move out of their parents house and into their own due to financial struggle today than they were in the great depression.

Fewer people can afford to get married or have kids today than during the great depression.

The unemployment rate during the great depression was 25% and I worry in some places that we have already surpassed that too.

We have been living through a depression since 2008. We almost got out of it by 2016 and during obamas last term we reaped the rewards of almost having enough as a country.

We have been living in a great depression no one will acknowledge. The only certifiable difference i can see between the great depression and now is that there isn't the same level of panic and concern for all the people starving to death in the streets because of bad policy.

Anti vagrancy laws should have been a wakeup call but no one cared.

tannisroute

isn't it crazy that a woman being gender nonconforming literally just requires her to exist in her own body without making any changes whatsoever. why does the fact that i don't wear makeup and i don't shave and i don't wear a bra have to be some political act. why can't i just fucking exist

flareonfloof

when i stopped wearing makeup i stopped getting she/her'd

halondrus

cutecipher

can you put that thing on a leash?

halondrus

unidentifiedspoon

my turn at this one. ART is the feed? no. ART is the frame

unidentifiedspoon

part 2 of this. what if instead of be not afraid you said Be Afraid but joke's on you, asshole, it's been afraid its entire life

petrichorweek

Some colored mb sketches as I reread the series once again and nervously wait for the show to come out

yearofdoodles

It is NOT escaping the third mom allegations 🚫

Thank you to @securityunit-ese for the excellent prompt and to @emily-e-draws for making me want to immediately draw mb at the rainforest cafe when I saw your art 💖

transcarcinization

@king-of-kaoss there’s a fanon idea that mb has some control over magnets in its feet and that’s part of why it’s always running up walls and shit… and i think if that’s true then ART is abusing its access privileges to trip it as much as it can get away with