Lavender Menace

Lily, English, 26, Les-Fem, Exited. ----- Gal pal - @theseaisalesbian I don't follow back under 18s, sorry. Any I already follow I'm unfollowing when I spot you.

[theoryoflostthings]

It’s said it takes seven years to grow completely new skin cells. To think, this year I will grow into a body you never will have touched.

Brett Elizabeth Jenkins (via leemcgavinjoey)

Today, now.  Seven years, my body's finally mine again.

[lesbian-lily]

Click here to support Help Lily return to education after an abusive relationship

After struggling for many years and attempting to recover from trauma, I am once again at university, trying to put my life together after five years of domestic abuse. During my first degree, my education was seriously hindered by an abusive relationship and the resulting effect on my mental...

Yeah, I know I never post on here any more, but just in case any of you all are still around, I figured it was worth a shot.

I really need help and anyone that’s known me for more than five minutes will know I don’t especially like asking for help.  I like to be independent, I hate relying on others and holy shit do I hate owing money.

But, I owe uni £9250 and there’s no way in hell that’s something I’d be able to manage by myself or even with my girlfriend’s help.

My first time round at uni. got screwed over massively - the fact that I made it as far as I did is actually pretty impressive considering all the shit I was dealing with alongside (as some of you know there was more shit than what I’ve spoken about in this crowd-funder).  I want to finish uni.  I want to get that certificate and say ‘fuck yeah, look what I did’.  I’ve been written off so many times.  Girls with my past don’t make it to uni.  Girls that have been homeless don’t even get their GCSE’s.  Crazy girls can’t be smart.  Crazy girls can’t help anyone else.

I know that I can.  I’ve been kicking arse since I started this course.  Firsts pretty much the whole way and more importantly I’ve been learning so much about myself, growing so much as a person and well, I’m probably barely recognisable compared to what I was even just a few months ago, never-mind what I was back in '09.

But, this isn’t just about me, it’s not just about me getting that piece of paper and saying fuck you to everyone that said I’d never do it.  Counselling is something I’ve wanted to do for so long, it’s something that I have the skills and the experience and the personality to do.  I’ve always wanted to support others; give others the freedom and the voice and the control over their own lives that was given to me and I know that counselling is the way that I can do that.

So yeah, here I am asking for help.  £9k+ is so far beyond what we would ever be able to afford, but maybe with a little help it’s something that can be done.  

So please, please, donate what you can and share as widely as you can.  I’ll never be able to pay you back, but maybe I could pay it forward to other women that weren’t supposed to make it this far too.

[lesbian-lily]

Click here to support Help Lily return to education after an abusive relationship

After struggling for many years and attempting to recover from trauma, I am once again at university, trying to put my life together after five years of domestic abuse. During my first degree, my education was seriously hindered by an abusive relationship and the resulting effect on my mental...

Yeah, I know I never post on here any more, but just in case any of you all are still around, I figured it was worth a shot.

I really need help and anyone that’s known me for more than five minutes will know I don’t especially like asking for help.  I like to be independent, I hate relying on others and holy shit do I hate owing money.

But, I owe uni £9250 and there’s no way in hell that’s something I’d be able to manage by myself or even with my girlfriend’s help.

My first time round at uni. got screwed over massively - the fact that I made it as far as I did is actually pretty impressive considering all the shit I was dealing with alongside (as some of you know there was more shit than what I’ve spoken about in this crowd-funder).  I want to finish uni.  I want to get that certificate and say ‘fuck yeah, look what I did’.  I’ve been written off so many times.  Girls with my past don’t make it to uni.  Girls that have been homeless don’t even get their GCSE’s.  Crazy girls can’t be smart.  Crazy girls can’t help anyone else.

I know that I can.  I’ve been kicking arse since I started this course.  Firsts pretty much the whole way and more importantly I’ve been learning so much about myself, growing so much as a person and well, I’m probably barely recognisable compared to what I was even just a few months ago, never-mind what I was back in '09.

But, this isn’t just about me, it’s not just about me getting that piece of paper and saying fuck you to everyone that said I’d never do it.  Counselling is something I’ve wanted to do for so long, it’s something that I have the skills and the experience and the personality to do.  I’ve always wanted to support others; give others the freedom and the voice and the control over their own lives that was given to me and I know that counselling is the way that I can do that.

So yeah, here I am asking for help.  £9k+ is so far beyond what we would ever be able to afford, but maybe with a little help it’s something that can be done.  

So please, please, donate what you can and share as widely as you can.  I’ll never be able to pay you back, but maybe I could pay it forward to other women that weren’t supposed to make it this far too.

[lesbian-lily]

Click here to support Help Lily return to education after an abusive relationship

After struggling for many years and attempting to recover from trauma, I am once again at university, trying to put my life together after five years of domestic abuse. During my first degree, my education was seriously hindered by an abusive relationship and the resulting effect on my mental...

Yeah, I know I never post on here any more, but just in case any of you all are still around, I figured it was worth a shot.

I really need help and anyone that’s known me for more than five minutes will know I don’t especially like asking for help.  I like to be independent, I hate relying on others and holy shit do I hate owing money.

But, I owe uni £9250 and there’s no way in hell that’s something I’d be able to manage by myself or even with my girlfriend’s help.

My first time round at uni. got screwed over massively - the fact that I made it as far as I did is actually pretty impressive considering all the shit I was dealing with alongside (as some of you know there was more shit than what I’ve spoken about in this crowd-funder).  I want to finish uni.  I want to get that certificate and say ‘fuck yeah, look what I did’.  I’ve been written off so many times.  Girls with my past don’t make it to uni.  Girls that have been homeless don’t even get their GCSE’s.  Crazy girls can’t be smart.  Crazy girls can’t help anyone else.

I know that I can.  I’ve been kicking arse since I started this course.  Firsts pretty much the whole way and more importantly I’ve been learning so much about myself, growing so much as a person and well, I’m probably barely recognisable compared to what I was even just a few months ago, never-mind what I was back in '09.

But, this isn’t just about me, it’s not just about me getting that piece of paper and saying fuck you to everyone that said I’d never do it.  Counselling is something I’ve wanted to do for so long, it’s something that I have the skills and the experience and the personality to do.  I’ve always wanted to support others; give others the freedom and the voice and the control over their own lives that was given to me and I know that counselling is the way that I can do that.

So yeah, here I am asking for help.  £9k+ is so far beyond what we would ever be able to afford, but maybe with a little help it’s something that can be done.  

So please, please, donate what you can and share as widely as you can.  I’ll never be able to pay you back, but maybe I could pay it forward to other women that weren’t supposed to make it this far too.

[lesbian-lily]

Click here to support Help Lily return to education after an abusive relationship

After struggling for many years and attempting to recover from trauma, I am once again at university, trying to put my life together after five years of domestic abuse. During my first degree, my education was seriously hindered by an abusive relationship and the resulting effect on my mental...

Yeah, I know I never post on here any more, but just in case any of you all are still around, I figured it was worth a shot.

I really need help and anyone that’s known me for more than five minutes will know I don’t especially like asking for help.  I like to be independent, I hate relying on others and holy shit do I hate owing money.

But, I owe uni £9250 and there’s no way in hell that’s something I’d be able to manage by myself or even with my girlfriend’s help.

My first time round at uni. got screwed over massively - the fact that I made it as far as I did is actually pretty impressive considering all the shit I was dealing with alongside (as some of you know there was more shit than what I’ve spoken about in this crowd-funder).  I want to finish uni.  I want to get that certificate and say ‘fuck yeah, look what I did’.  I’ve been written off so many times.  Girls with my past don’t make it to uni.  Girls that have been homeless don’t even get their GCSE’s.  Crazy girls can’t be smart.  Crazy girls can’t help anyone else.

I know that I can.  I’ve been kicking arse since I started this course.  Firsts pretty much the whole way and more importantly I’ve been learning so much about myself, growing so much as a person and well, I’m probably barely recognisable compared to what I was even just a few months ago, never-mind what I was back in '09.

But, this isn’t just about me, it’s not just about me getting that piece of paper and saying fuck you to everyone that said I’d never do it.  Counselling is something I’ve wanted to do for so long, it’s something that I have the skills and the experience and the personality to do.  I’ve always wanted to support others; give others the freedom and the voice and the control over their own lives that was given to me and I know that counselling is the way that I can do that.

So yeah, here I am asking for help.  £9k+ is so far beyond what we would ever be able to afford, but maybe with a little help it’s something that can be done.  

So please, please, donate what you can and share as widely as you can.  I’ll never be able to pay you back, but maybe I could pay it forward to other women that weren’t supposed to make it this far too.

[lesbian-lily]

Click here to support Help Lily return to education after an abusive relationship

After struggling for many years and attempting to recover from trauma, I am once again at university, trying to put my life together after five years of domestic abuse. During my first degree, my education was seriously hindered by an abusive relationship and the resulting effect on my mental...

Yeah, I know I never post on here any more, but just in case any of you all are still around, I figured it was worth a shot.

I really need help and anyone that’s known me for more than five minutes will know I don’t especially like asking for help.  I like to be independent, I hate relying on others and holy shit do I hate owing money.

But, I owe uni £9250 and there’s no way in hell that’s something I’d be able to manage by myself or even with my girlfriend’s help.

My first time round at uni. got screwed over massively - the fact that I made it as far as I did is actually pretty impressive considering all the shit I was dealing with alongside (as some of you know there was more shit than what I’ve spoken about in this crowd-funder).  I want to finish uni.  I want to get that certificate and say ‘fuck yeah, look what I did’.  I’ve been written off so many times.  Girls with my past don’t make it to uni.  Girls that have been homeless don’t even get their GCSE’s.  Crazy girls can’t be smart.  Crazy girls can’t help anyone else.

I know that I can.  I’ve been kicking arse since I started this course.  Firsts pretty much the whole way and more importantly I’ve been learning so much about myself, growing so much as a person and well, I’m probably barely recognisable compared to what I was even just a few months ago, never-mind what I was back in '09.

But, this isn’t just about me, it’s not just about me getting that piece of paper and saying fuck you to everyone that said I’d never do it.  Counselling is something I’ve wanted to do for so long, it’s something that I have the skills and the experience and the personality to do.  I’ve always wanted to support others; give others the freedom and the voice and the control over their own lives that was given to me and I know that counselling is the way that I can do that.

So yeah, here I am asking for help.  £9k+ is so far beyond what we would ever be able to afford, but maybe with a little help it’s something that can be done.  

So please, please, donate what you can and share as widely as you can.  I’ll never be able to pay you back, but maybe I could pay it forward to other women that weren’t supposed to make it this far too.

[lesbian-lily]

Click here to support Help Lily return to education after an abusive relationship

After struggling for many years and attempting to recover from trauma, I am once again at university, trying to put my life together after five years of domestic abuse. During my first degree, my education was seriously hindered by an abusive relationship and the resulting effect on my mental...

Yeah, I know I never post on here any more, but just in case any of you all are still around, I figured it was worth a shot.

I really need help and anyone that's known me for more than five minutes will know I don't especially like asking for help.  I like to be independent, I hate relying on others and holy shit do I hate owing money.

But, I owe uni £9250 and there's no way in hell that's something I'd be able to manage by myself or even with my girlfriend’s help.

My first time round at uni. got screwed over massively - the fact that I made it as far as I did is actually pretty impressive considering all the shit I was dealing with alongside (as some of you know there was more shit than what I've spoken about in this crowd-funder).  I want to finish uni.  I want to get that certificate and say 'fuck yeah, look what I did'.  I've been written off so many times.  Girls with my past don't make it to uni.  Girls that have been homeless don't even get their GCSE's.  Crazy girls can't be smart.  Crazy girls can't help anyone else.

I know that I can.  I've been kicking arse since I started this course.  Firsts pretty much the whole way and more importantly I've been learning so much about myself, growing so much as a person and well, I'm probably barely recognisable compared to what I was even just a few months ago, never-mind what I was back in '09.

But, this isn't just about me, it's not just about me getting that piece of paper and saying fuck you to everyone that said I'd never do it.  Counselling is something I've wanted to do for so long, it's something that I have the skills and the experience and the personality to do.  I've always wanted to support others; give others the freedom and the voice and the control over their own lives that was given to me and I know that counselling is the way that I can do that.

So yeah, here I am asking for help.  £9k+ is so far beyond what we would ever be able to afford, but maybe with a little help it's something that can be done.  

So please, please, donate what you can and share as widely as you can.  I'll never be able to pay you back, but maybe I could pay it forward to other women that weren't supposed to make it this far too.

[artbynoelsnow]

Bella Boo from Little Paper Farm by Noël ILL 

http://www.zazzle.com/littlepaperfarm

[quadrophenics]

Autumn is coming.

[lesbian-lily]

I’m strongly considering leaving Tumblr, or at least mostly abandoning it. I have my WordPress for writing about exited stuff and tbh I’ve been kinda bored by Tumblr for a while now. The rad fem and les sep communities are kind of a mess and I’m starting to reach the point where I’m moving on with my life.

My time will be much better devoted to getting myself healthy, healing from trauma, learning to cope with the knowledge that I was trafficked and getting myself back to uni and qualifying to do the kind of work that I want to do. The kind of work that benefits women on a real level - whether that’s in a refuge or as a counsellor with rape crisis or working with and supporting young women or working around cse or what I don’t know yet, my degree plans would qualify me to do all or anything similar. But online activism just isn’t for me any more. I want to read and study and go out and actually do something again.

I basically just mostly post cats and uwu lesbian things at Elsa now anyway. So yeah, bye?

[lesbian-lily]

Talking of my mostly leaving Tumblr, if you wanna stay in touch elsewhere message me. I don't really check messages here that often and wanna stay in touch with some people.

[lesbian-lily]

One of the many reasons I don’t wanna fuck with this hellsite any more. Who reblogs an exited woman’s post about how fucking awful porn is right after reblogging THAT? What the fuck? How can you be so oblivious? (edited because I don't want porn all over my blog)

[lyjerria]

I’m just trying to add good people to my life. slowly and carefully

[jillsteinfuneralcity]

both sasha grey and jenna jameson have spoken about how much shit they went thorough being in porn and theyre STILL the pro porn libfem’s poster children, despite these two prolific women’s harsh critiques of porn being a google search and three clicks away (not even a ‘critique’ from sasha grey flat out condemnation) like, i dont get it?? i also think it’s really insulting how pro porn feminists will rag on “swerfs” for not listening to sex workers and women who have left the industry despite them cherry picking which sex workers they’ll actually listen to. WACKY!!!!  

[wit-witch]

funny how they only want to listen to glamorous tumblr sugarbabies and not working class women who walk the streets trying to survive, or women who escaped sex trafficking, etc…

reminds me of the way republicans worship the rich

[xx-fadingaway-xx]

Why do we always place the blame on “home wreckers” ?? Like how dare you go after a married man! But what about the married man who chose to cheat on his wife? It’s part of this whole culture where we blame women for everything because they’re seen as temptresses, and men aren’t held accountable for their actions just because they’re men and that’s the way they are.

[tehbewilderness]

There’s that first rule of misogyny again.

[cool-daniela-fan]

There’s no way of stating rape play is acceptable without implying that rape is somehow desirable or sexy. Why would you want to simulate it, if you didn’t think it was?

[cool-daniela-fan]

It reinforces rape myths - namely, that women want to be violated and brutalised -, it trivialises real pain, and it is part of a patriarchal culture that facilitates and condones male violence against women and girls. And men who enjoy these kind of fantasies - in a world where most violent crimes worldwide are committed by men - are people to stay away from.

[idkprettygay]

I used to think addicts were those kids who wanted to rebel, be different, I thought it was defiance more than sickness. Until I was pushing my body past the rails on the balcony of a 10 story building with my arms held out, shaking, begging the wind to take me with it, wondering why the fuck I couldn’t just be more like everybody else, or a little more normal. I used to think addition was my father drinking beer and smoking cigarettes and as he’d get louder and my hands covered my ears I would scream, scream until I saw blankness in his eyes followed by the painful blows to my body. I was conditioned to believe addiction would not kill you, it would just torture the others around you, I used to think addiction was normal, I was neglected to be informed that there were worse things out there than alcohol. Until one night I stopped at a friends house and he scooted some white lines on his mirror toward me with a razor blade and I began to lose myself in the most ugly way. I used to think addiction was simple, easy, not a threat to my future Until I was seizing on the floor of my best friends house, no one home, cardiac arrest. No job, no home, no belongings, not in school, no trust, no love. I used to think dope was just smoking some weed Until I found the best monster of them all and I let it consume me, made myself willing to die for it, lie for it, cry for it. I used to be better, used to smile without faking it, until ice turned me cold and weakened my soul. -drug journals

[unflatteringcatselfies]

This is oscar. He likes to run and slide on the floor and will sleep anywhere at anytime. He’s a pretty cool dude and I love him so much.