Life Is A Thing

I’m gay.

[tealmoth]

No offense but *coughs into a white cloth, then dramatically unfolds it to reveal that it is spotted with blood, foreshadowing my tragic death by tuberculosis at the ending of the film*

[sosuperawesome]

Resin Keycaps and Wrist Rests

Holdener Shop on Etsy

[youregoingtoeathimwithmyface]

dont understand why they left this one out of post

[salt-blog]

*replaces your entire keyboard with ricardo*

[chaoticallyfuckingstressed]

This is gud but is there other meme keys?

[tinylobelia-deactivated20200702]

[wisteriafield]

i’ll kick anyone’s ass. i’ll kick your ass. i’ll kick your dog’s ass. i’ll kick my own ass

[theauspolchronicles]

It has reached the point where inaction on climate change should be considered a crime. I don’t mean that in any sense of hyperbole. It is destroying the ancestral lands of Pacific Islanders and Torres Strait Islanders and whole species are going extinct. Creating new coal mines is an act of hostility against low lying nations and peoples as well as knowingly pushing for extinction. When poachers try to kill elephants and rhinos to extinction people band together to punish and stop them but when a government promises to pollute the environment and destroy the planet’s future with more coal mines we as a country vote them into power. That’s hypocrisy. That’s cruelty. The anti-science climate deniers are a dangerous movement profiting off death and destruction and that absolutely 100% is a crime.

[moriartythetease]

So what happens if two people who have promised their firstborn to separate witches have a child together? Do they both just pop up in the nursery and have a custody battle?

I need a book about a little girl whose parents had promised their firstborn to different witches and the only way that both ends of the deal were fulfilled was for them to have joint custody of the child.

[persinetteinthetower]

I love it!

[copperbadge]

And then the witches, forced to share a cottage while raising their joint stolen child, fall in love…

[pinejaysong]

#more witch-centric lesbian fairytale rom-coms#….a sentence I never thought I’d type

[piearsonist]

http://alicorn.elcenia.com/stories/double.shtml

[essentiallymediocre]

SOMEONE DID THE THING

[lesbianmusketeers]

Adults really are expecting us to only worry about our grades while we come into terms with the imminent ending of the world, the upcoming second Great Depression and deal with this shitty mental health epidemic huh

[teaboot]

There’s this cool thing I’ve noticed with doctors where I can walk in, sit down, and say “I have X thing and I need help” and they go :)) Oh sweetie u know ur not a doctor right? :)))

or I can say “I have a family history of X, I have 95% of X’s symptoms, people with X have advised me that I might also have X, and I would like to be tested to see if X is my problem” and they go :))) o honie babie child :)))) web MD is not reliable :)))) u only THINK u have X but its okay ur not a bad person :)))) its ok u don’t need to fake an illness for attention :::))))

BUT if I go in and say… I do not know what is wrong plz help they’ll be like “ah yes by the stain on the left knee of ur jeans and ur messy eyebrows I can tell u have X,, have u ever heard of it” and I absolutely hate it, I hate knowing exactly what’s happening and having to pretend I don’t just to be taken seriously, I propose it be titled The Sherlock Effect

[imsorryimpan]

I 100% agree but why the Sherlock effect?

[teaboot]

Thinking you can know everything about someone within 15 seconds of looking at them, cool in theory but irritating and dangerous IRL, plus my doctor literally quoted Sherlock Holmes at me while explaining that I have Hysteria, a thing I don’t have, because I’m getting treatment now for the real thing I do have

[feral-bastardd]

Some fuck ass doctor diagnosed you with HYSTERIA? IN 2019????

[sexhaver]

remember when Koko the gorilla died and everyone on here was sad about it and then someone pulled receipts proving she had a nipple fetish and her handlers would encourage people to be topless around her? i fucking love this site where else am i gonna see a callout post for a dead gorilla

[dapperalbinobudgie]

She had a what now

[e-ghoul]

[barracoola]

[how-late-am-i]

have you guys ever noticed how pretty the bi flag is???

Like, look at it

It looks like a sunset

just

#the sky is bi confirmed

[formerfundie]

You wanna get people to hate you? Just claim the whole fucking sky belongs to your favorite kink.

[emolumentsclause-deactivated201]

the sky belongs to bisexuals now sorry str8s

[renegalien-deactivated20210515]

I have legal rights on the sky purely because you called my sexuality a “kink” you piece of shit. You’re legally not allowed to look at the sky any more. Fuck you.

[socialistexan]

When you reject religion but keep all the shitty politics associated with it.

[jamaicanblackcastoroil]

“Racial realist”

[portmanteau-bot]

racial + realist = racist.

Beep-boop. Portmanteau^bot^1 At the end of the human world, you will be baked. And then there will be cake. | PayPal | Patreon

[soyest-boyest]

AFSHEBENRM

[deeply]

[gharibajameel]

lions are like transgendering lol

[shayhammowolf]

Explain

[gharibajameel]

LOL theyre just transgedering :)

[sonic-wildfire]

Game over, Republicans

[yourfriendlylocalbogbody-deacti]

TRANS PRIDE

[assgod]

the power of believing in yourself

[inbreadwecrust]

schol:

when u Mom com home and make hte spagheti

*blows dust off this post* ahh…. an ancient relic, a remnant of the old era

[yeahiwasintheshit]

[no-chill-at-all]

[great-tweets]

“Update: The student who wrote the letter has been found and we’re in the process of finding a way to reward her for her actions. Very grateful for what she did”

[shaelit]

I love this mental image of this quietly horrified and righteous 6th grader just being like ma’am you can’t do that

[whycantibeepbadoop]

6th grader:

[hogtown-gdc]

[catchymemes]

[silentevil77]

Nah they’re doing alright

[mapsontheweb]

How many of spouses must be present at wedding for marriage to be valid.

[gorps]

@ mutuals we have all just gotten legally married in montana

[itsalwaysunnyontvv]

[woefully-undercaffeinated]

No, but here’s the funniest bit about it: Montana has a thing called double marriage by proxy. You see, it still requires some kind of ceremony for a couple to be married, but you can have people standing in for both couples, allowing it to essentially become marriage by phone. 

So there are two people in Helena whose job it is to get married, over and over again, standing in for other people and allowing their marriages to become legal. 

[flootzavut]

That sounds like a great fanfic AU, I’m just saying.

[jenniferrpovey]

…how did I not know proxy marriage was legal in Montana.

There are restrictions: At least one of you has to either be resident in Montana or a member of the armed forces. (They put that in because they were overwhelmed by all kinds of couples).

In fact, the demographic that uses this most often is, yup, servicemembers deployed overseas who don’t want to have to wait until their next leave to get the extra money paid to married soldiers. It also means they’re more likely to be assigned duty near their spouse.

Oh, and the reason it started? Because of the high number of mail order brides in Montana’s mining era. They’d often do a proxy wedding before the woman traveled west because it made things more proper.

Be aware, though: Iowa doesn’t recognize these marriages.