Sarcasm and Inappropriate Jokes @lghockey - Tumblr Blog

All That Jazz (1979) dir. Bob Fosse

Gloves crafted from flower petals by hallofstars

no shade to Jarvis Johnson here but not having a TikTok is wild because out of nowhere a twenty to thirty minutes video will suddenly pop up detailing the world's most specific influencer and how they are actually making everything worse by existing. "the problem with clean girl" "we need to talk about the cave woman" "what was up with the goose man?" "what happened to the guy who likes how he smells?" "the dark secrets of the man who eats raw meat for fun: a documentary" what the fuck are you talking about

mikelogan

TO WONG FOO, THANKS FOR EVERYTHING! JULIE NEWMAR (1995) dir. Beeban Kidron

disgustinggf

once a tumblr girl, forever a tumblr girl

senatortedcruz

This is what it’s all about. Saturday night. At home. Switching between the same 4 apps on my phone. Getting scared.

frontmansdefender

RIP to the legend

silvermoon424

This goose fucking rocks and had a crazy life!

I really just have to summarize Thomas's entire life:

He was in a committed relationship with a male swan named Henry for 18-24 years before a female swan named Henrietta showed up and mated with Henry.

Thomas was initially jealous of the pair and attacked them, breaking 2 of the 5 eggs Henrietta had laid. However, once the remaining eggs hatched, Thomas warmed up to them and helped raise them.

Henry couldn't fly because of an injured wing, so Thomas taught the cygnets how to fly.

When they needed to reduce the goose population in the pond where Thomas and the swans lived, they dyed Thomas's feathers red so he wouldn't be separated from Henry.

Henry, Henrietta, and Thomas remained in their happy throuple for years and raised 68 cygnets before Henry died in 2009. After Henry's death, Henrietta found another swan and flew away, leaving Thomas alone.

Thomas finally met and mated with a female goose in 2011 and had his own babies. However, another goose named George stole them and raised them himself.

As Thomas grew elderly and blind, he was relocated to a wildlife center where he raised orphaned cygnets.

His caretaker at the center described him as "pretty high maintenance."

Thomas died in 2018 at the age of around 40. He had a funeral that included a small coffin and a procession that was led by a bagpiper. He was buried under the stone where Henry was buried, the two finally reunited in death.

Before and after his death, Thomas has been celebrated as an icon of the LGBTQ+ community for obvious reasons.

not-poignant

The epitaph:

Here lies Thomas, the great-hearted goose, Nestled near Henry, in their final roost. Here where they raised young and found sanctuary, Somewhere above us, great souls fly free.

— Pinky Agnew

enviedear

any head canons about how jason and dick would each comfort you in a bloaty, pre-period, “don’t look at me” body image day? both would be toothachingly sweet, I’m sure

ofc nonnie!! i just went through this hell (i feel shocked every month) and i don't mind dropping off some comfort for you, i hope you enjoy <3

𐔌 JASON TODD 𐦯 jason’s approach is all comfort...and distraction. he’d immediately notice you’re not feeling yourself—because this man knows you like the back of his hand—and without making a big deal out of it, he'd immediately find ways to soothe you. he'll throw one of his hoodies at you and say, "c’mon, put that on. you've been wanting it for weeks." he won’t push you to talk about it if you don’t want to, but if you do? he listens, brow furrowed, nodding like whatever you’re saying. if you grumble about feeling bloated, he’ll hum and say, "yeah? your body's working overtime right now, it'll pass baby." and if you try to argue? he just raises a brow like 'i dare you to fight me on this.'

he’ll tuck you into his side if you want to lounge aound, put on your comfort show or movie, and keep one big, warm hand resting on your lower back or abdomen, rubbing lazy circles. and if you’re in a mood and don’t want to be touched? that’s fine too—he’ll just sit next to you, legs spread out and arms crossed, just keeping you company. he also absolutely enables your cravings, making a store run for whatever you want and not letting you feel bad about it. "babe, if your body wants a deluxe combo and xl smoothie, who are we to deny it that? besides, i want the same."

𐔌 DICK GRAYSON 𐦯 dick is all about making you feel cherished, no matter what. the second he senses you withdrawing, he’s draping himself over you, pressing exaggerated smooches to your forehead, cheeks, anywhere he can reach. "what do you mean, don’t look at you? honey, i look at you every day and think—wow, how did i get so lucky?" and he means it, too—his voice is so earnest it’s impossible to argue.

he’s the type to run you a bath with your favorite scent, plop you in it, and sit outside the tub talking to you the whole time, keeping the conversation light and affectionate. the sort of conversations that make aches and pains lessen. when you’re out, he’s wrapping you in your fluffiest blanket and setting up a whole cozy nest on the couch with heating pads and tea. he’ll massage your shoulders, your feet, whatever part of you is sore, and if you so much as sigh contentedly—he’s grinning like show pony that was just awarded gold.

if you grumble about how you feel, he’s quick to shut it down—not dismissively or anything, but in a way that makes you see yourself how he sees you. "you’re allowed to feel however you feel, but just so you know? you’re stunning, always. no off days." then he’ll tilt his head, smirk, and say, "guess i’ll just have to stare at you extra until it sticks."