they/them - bi - nb

the bog, it calls to me

[gayweeddaddy69]

why do you hate swifties so much

because they aligned themselves with the treacherous count dooku

[writing-in-the-grave]

Hey y'all why are writers always cold?

[run-remi-run]

...why?

[writing-in-the-grave]

They're always surrounded by drafts!

How many mystery writers does it take to change a lightbulb?

[run-remi-run]

Oh god.

How many?

[writing-in-the-grave]

Two! One to change the bulb, and the other to give it an unexpected twist at the end!

What do writers have for breakfast?

[run-remi-run]

Coffee?

[writing-in-the-grave]

Synonym buns!

Where do all the struggling writers live?

[run-remi-run]

How are you coming up with all these?

Where?

[writing-in-the-grave]

Writer's Block!

What do writers suffer from each spring?

(I've heard a lot of them over the years.)

[run-remi-run]

Allergies. Next question.

[writing-in-the-grave]

you were close; A case of allegories

Why are writers always in great shape?

[run-remi-run]

Circular prose

[writing-in-the-grave]

Nope! It's because we're always running out of ideas!

Did you hear about the famous writer who turned out to be a fraud?

[run-remi-run]

I did not

[writing-in-the-grave]

His life had it's prose and cons...

Why is editing a better job than writing?

[run-remi-run]

It's more rewording?

[writing-in-the-grave]

Correct! I am out of jokes. :(

[scoes]

Grace is one of the most classic things to fall from

[scoes]

That and the monkey barrrsssss

[evilwizard]

put on my leitmotif bro i feel a monologue coming on

[squidkidghoul]

Oops, accidentally put on the version that turns into a dramatic reprise of the main heroes theme halfway through. That’s probably fine, right?

[evilwizard]

you motherfucker…

[avantgarden-er]

There really is a Day Shift and a Night Shift here are tumblr.org and baby i’m pulling a double

[golfgalaxy]

y’all still beat your meat? lol

[yassmines]

what do u beat

[golfgalaxy]

evildoers

[cryptotheism]

i love the never kill your self meme like yeah joy can be found in humble places peace and love on planet earth

[cryptotheism]

that is the wrong gif

[xkat-holstaur]

never kill yourself. kill that guy

[calamitys-child]

[get-you-wet]

Daddy im so horny . PLease help me

bitch im tryna survive a category 5 hurricane

[ghost-in-size-small-clothes-dea]

This might legitimately be one of the funniest things I’ve ever seen on this site

[sexhaver]

i think about this a lot

[flygoing]

laptop overheating?? pour water on it to cool it down!

[chastittie]

i trusted you

[flygoing]

Do not trust people like me. I will take you to museums, and parks, and monuments, and kiss you in every beautiful place, so that you can never go back to them without tasting me like blood in your mouth. I will destroy you in the most beautiful way possible. And when I leave you will finally understand, why storms are named after people

[four-leafed-queer-gal-deactivat]

THE ORIGINAL?!?!?!?!?!

[invaderxan]

[justsomeguycore]

knock knock

[dismembered-jackalope]

who's there

[justsomeguycore]

deez

[dismembered-jackalope]

sigh

deez who ?

[justsomeguycore]

deez are the voyages of the starship enterprise

[odd-maid3n]

[knight--error]

[therobotmonster]

[leothewerelion]

inshallah he will be drank

[britney]

it's

bitch

[yiffmaster]

honestly this post only got funnier with the change in format

[systemofcolor-deactivated201610]

my xkit makes it the old format so

[sharkishblue]

it’s yiffmaster britney bitch

[feldfrog]

If a fantasy world has an ancient tree of wisdom, that means it must also have young trees that are dumb as shit. Just giving terrible advice like, "the evil wizard is kinda hot"'

[itwashotwestayedinthewater]

aye can i get uh………ingredients on my burger

[druidviolence-deactivated201810]

beetroot?

[druidviolence-deactivated201810]

you want beetroot?

[druidviolence-deactivated201810]

you want fucking beet root?

[itwashotwestayedinthewater]

ingredience

[orochislayer]

Positive affirmations:

I shall cut down all who stand in my way

I shall cut down all who stand in my way

I shall cut down all who stand in my way

I shall cut down all who stand in my way

I shall cut down all who stand in my way