Untitled

[911-incorrect-quotes-dispatch]

Hen: How was your 1st official Father's day, Buck?

Ravi: Why official? Wait, did you get Eddie pregnant?

Eddie: Ravi, a month of sewer rescues are calling your name right now.

Buck: Official because Chris asked me to adopt him, and honestly Hen it was a lot of crying.

Chim: And a lot of food, I saw those bbq pics. You went all out.

Eddie: Buck wanted to recreate the Diaz parrillada, and he did it perfectly.

Buck: Also, I can finally use this old clipboard full of dad jokes on Chris that I got from Bobby. I get to make dad jokes now and make him cringe 24/7. Life is great.

[lineartists23]

Eddie: *Trying to fill out legal paperwork stuff* Were you guys born AMAB or AFAB?

Buck: Bold of you to assume I was born at all.

Hen: I personally was created in a lab.

Chim: I just straight up spawned lol.

[lineartists23]

Brett: Cruz and I were crossing the street, and this dude drove by and honked at us

Otis: * Sighing * What did Cruz do?

Brett: He chased him to the next red light, then reached into his window and...

Cruz: Who wants a steering wheel?

[lineartists23]

Jay: What if people had food names and food had people names?

Hailey: Hey, spaghetti, we're having Jay for dinner.

Hank: What is wrong with you people?

Antonio: Shut up, chocolate.

[lineartists23]

Buck: If I die, my funeral is going to be the biggest party ever and you're all invited

Hen: If?

Chim: Great, the only party I've ever been invited to and they might not even die.

[lineartists23]

Adam: Yo is Hailey sleeping or dead?

Jay: Hopefully dead, I hated Her guts.

Antonio: Yeah, so did I.

Hailey: Okay first of all, fuck you-

[lineartists23]

*Brett’s helping Severide out after he got injured, while the others are watching*

Casey: How does Severide look?

Brett: A little better than you, actually.

[lineartists23]

Hen: Christmas is cancelled.

Chim: You can't cancel a holiday.

Hen: Keep it up, Chim, and you'll lose New Year's too.

Chim: What does that mean?

Hen: Buck, take New Year's away from Chim.

[lineartists23]

Eddie, setting down a card: Ace of spades

Buck, pulling out an Uno card: +4

Hen, pulling out a Pokémon card: Jolteon, I choose you

Chim, trembling: What are we playing

[lineartists23]

Cruze: What time is it?

Otis: I don't know; pass me that saxophone and we'll find out

Cruze: * Plays sax loudly and extremely out of tune*

Casey: WHO THE FUCK IS PLAYING THE SAXOPHONE AT TWO IN THE MORNING

Otis: It's 2 am

[lineartists23]

Adam: Truth or dare?

Jay: Dare

Adam: I dare you to kiss the hottest person in the room

Jay: Hey Hailey

Hailey, blushing: Yeah?

Jay: Could you move? I'm trying to get to Antonio

[lineartists23]

Chim: How did none of you hear what I just said?

Buck: I've been zoned out for the past two and a half hours.

Hen: I got distracted about halfway through.

Eddie: Ignoring you was a conscious decision.

[lineartists23]

Jay: I’m sick and tired of being called 'mortal' like, you don’t know that. Neither do I. I have never died even ONCE. Nothing has been proven yet. Stop making assumptions. It’s rude.

Antonio:

Hailey:

Hank:

[lineartists23]

Eddie, Hen, and Buck are sitting on a bench

Chim: Why do you guys look so sad?

Eddie: Sit down with us so we can tell you.

*Chim sits down*

Hen: The bench is freshly painted.

[lineartists23]

Buck: Do you ever feel bugs on you when really there's nothing there?

Chim: Those are the ghosts of the bugs you killed before.

Buck:

Buck: *sobs*

Eddie: You fucking scared him, you idiot.

[lineartists23]

Hen: You're right.

Buck: That's... That's an unusual phrase for you. Did you just learn it?

[lineartists23]

Cruz: If you had to choose between Severide and all the money I have in my wallet, which would you choose?

Casey: That depends, how much money are we taking about?

Severide: Casey!

Cruz: 63 cents.

Casey: I'll take the money.

Severide: Casey!!!